Reawakened Secrets (4 page)

“I was a jerk, as you used to love to remind me,” he persisted, trying to appeal to my sense of humor.

“I’m sure, after all this time, I could think of a much more appropriate name for you.”

He gave a humorless snort and leaned his hip against the window sill. “You never were one to hold back. Give it your best shot, Claire. I can take it.”

“Go to hell, Jackson.”

“I’ve been in hell for ten years,” he replied calmly. “Now I’m coming home—to stay.”

Horrified, I stared into his unwavering eyes. My palm itched to smack the self-assured smirk off his face and pull every strand of just-fucked hair off his head.

“You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still a jackass.”

“Yeah,” he agreed with a chuckle. “Jackass is way more appropriate than jerk.” He reached out to stroke one finger across my cheek. “I understand why you think that, but I have changed. I’ve changed a lot.”

Warmth spread from his finger-tip through every inch of my body. Furious at the undeniable attraction that sizzled between us, I jerked my face away. Then, I jabbed at the elevator button again. What was taking the damn thing so long, anyway? I crossed my arms over my chest and pressed my legs together, trying to douse the trembling heat his touch ignited so effortlessly.
Where the hell is that elevator?

He thought he could toss me a smile and I would just forget the last ten years. Well, good luck with that, jackass. He abandoned me when I needed him the most. He shut me out as though that one night cancelled out our entire friendship. I had so many dings and dents growing up that I was almost numb to the pain after a while. But when I lost Jackson, I didn’t just break, I shattered.

Not sure what to do next, I had never been happier to see Adam walking down the hall in my direction. “I’m not interested in apologies or second chances, Jackson. It’s too late. The only thing you can do for me is disappear.” Unable to resist, I looked at him one last time. Then I moved toward the nurses’ station, where Adam had stopped to study patient charts. Instead of going away as I had hoped, Jackson trailed behind me. To make matters worse, I heard the elevator finally ding open.
Damn!

“Adam, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Dozer! Is this about our surgery tomorrow? I’m sure you’re more than prepared for it, as always.”

Shit, Adam and his ridiculous nicknames. “No, I . . . I mean, yes, I’m ready for tomorrow.” I took a deep breath. I needed to calm the fuck down. I was still at work after all. “I wanted to talk to you about one of your patients, Alice Sinclair.”

“Ah, I should have known you had a reason for being here on your day off. You want in on Sleeping Beauty’s case.” He glanced up from the chart in his hand and nodded an acknowledgement to Jackson, who stood off to the side behind me.

“I just want to know how you think she’s doing,” I said. “Her chart looks good, but her recovery has been slow. I would be all over this case, but I have a conflict of interest. Uhmm, she’s a friend of mine.”

“Well, well, I’ve never known you to have friends. I guess you learn something new every day.”

Normally, I appreciated Adam’s twisted sense of humor. However, with Jackson looking over my shoulder it was beyond embarrassing.

“Just more proof you don’t know everything. Besides, we’ve shared some good times. Don’t you consider me a friend, Adam?” I joked.

Adam’s narrowed eyes snapped up from the chart. “Uhmm hmmm, well, I expect Aurora-”

“Her name is Alice.”

“Pardon me, what?” Adam asked even though he was once again engrossed in his patient’s chart.

“I said, her name is Alice, and I don’t think she likes being called Sleeping Beauty.”

“Oh, Alice, right. Well, you know I can’t give you specifics unless you’re family. Other than her total lack of a sense of humor, your
friend
seems to be doing fine.”

“Look Adam, she’s my best friend. I know you can’t help it, but can you please try to be a little less . . . like yourself?”

“Less like myself?”

“Yeah, you know—a little less A-holey?” Shit, that is really what I just said to my boss. Please God, let him think the ‘A’ stands for Adam. I tensed, dreading the thought of apologizing in front of Jackson.

Adam’s mouth relaxed into a smile. “Take it easy, Dozer. Considering she can’t remember feeling anything for the last ten years, a little annoyance won’t kill her. Mental stimulation is the best medicine I can prescribe.”

“If you mess with Alice, I won’t do anything to save you.”

A strangled noise, the closest thing to laughter I’d ever heard, escaped Adam’s mouth. “Is that supposed to be a threat? You’re going to sic Princess Barbie on me?”

“Don’t let the blonde hair fool you. She’s tougher than you think,” I warned.

He looked skeptical. “Really? Coming from you, that means something, Dozer, but she looks more like a sugar-coated marshmallow to me. Either way, she’s headed for a full recovery. Now, if you’re done, I should go check on Aurora. You go home and rest up. We have a big day tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes and laughed. It was better to let it go. Alice would have no problem dealing with Adam. My laughter died the instant Jackson cleared his throat behind me. With no other choice, I turned to face him and the elevator.

“What was that about, Claire?”

“Alice.”

“Is that all? It looked like a little more than that to me.”

“Well, you taught me the hard way that things aren’t always what they seem.” There were a few heartbreaking beats of silence before he responded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t waste your time. Just leave me alone.” I adjusted my purse strap on my shoulder and headed for the elevator.

“Wait,” Jack fell into step behind me. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I want it anyway. I want the opportunity to make things right between us. The way they’re supposed to be.”

I sucked in a breath and turned to and face him. “How dare you presume to know how things are
supposed
to be between us? You don’t know me anymore.”

“You’re wrong. I may not know the details of the last ten years, but I’ll always know you, baby.”

“Don’t,” I warned. “Baby” was the last thing I wanted him to call me
ever.
Besides, Jackson had no idea what he was talking about. Everything that had happened changed me in ways he would never understand. I turned my back on him and stared at the elevator doors, willing them to open.

Jackson came to stand right behind me. I felt his warm breath caress my neck as he whispered in my ear. “I know you’re smart, kind, and impulsive. I know you’re an overachieving perfectionist who’s just as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Most importantly, I know you don’t let very many people close to you, but once you do its forever.”

He grabbed my arms and forced me to face him. Damn it, I could already feel myself falling for his bullshit. God knows I had never been able to resist before.

“I’m not sure what it will take, but I do know you’re generous enough to forgive me eventually, Claire. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. So you’d better get used to seeing me around.”

“No,” I whispered.

“Yes,” he replied.

Despite my best efforts, he stirred feelings more potent than anger. I closed my eyes against the onslaught of the pleading, turquoise pools of emotion and the way his words made me melt from the inside out. There was no way he could mean that the way it sounded. I couldn’t afford to let my weakness for him get the best of me. Not when I had so much to lose. Breathe, Claire, in and out.

“What’s this really about? Are you worried I’ll tell Alice what happened? I won’t.” That had to be it. It was the only thing that made sense. He was afraid I would ruin things between them.

The warm, inviting expression on his face evaporated. His jaw clenched, and his eyes glinted coolly in the light. For the first time, he looked like the most vivid image I had of him in my head. He looked like Jack, the boy I had enjoyed provoking out of his serious, Montgomery façade. The boy I had loved beyond reason and common sense. The deep breath he took was visible, and I tried to hide the pleasure his irritation gave me. What can I say. Old habits die hard.

Back in control he said, “This is only about you and me
.
Alice is going to learn the truth. It’s inevitable. The sooner the better as far as I’m concerned. I’m done lying—to everyone, especially myself.”

“Are you crazy? We can’t risk her health to tell her about something that happened once and will never happen again,” I practically shrieked.

His lids lowered and in a soft rumble he asked, “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”
Maybe?

Damn, Alice meant the world to me, but she was hardly the most important reason I couldn’t afford to fuck this up. Panic seized me at the thought of all my secrets coming to light. I knew exactly how Alice and Jackson would feel about me then. Was that also inevitable now? That thought sapped every ounce of fight I had left. Finally, the elevator doors opened.

“Just leave me the hell alone,” I pleaded as I rushed into my much needed sanctuary. I looked up as I pushed the button for the lobby, afraid he would follow. His hands were back in his pockets, and his lips slowly twisted into a smirk as the doors closed.

I leaned against the elevator wall, clutching at the painful heat spreading through my chest. I gasped in and out, trying, with limited success, to fill my lungs with air. Stopping the flood of tears was well past being a lost cause. I had to be the biggest idiot in the world not to realize this day would come. It only made sense he would come home eventually. Of course he would be by Alice’s side. Ten years ago, I had done the best I could, given the circumstances, but keeping the truth from them now was wrong. If there was a price for Alice’s recovery, it was karmic justice that I would be the one to pay it.

The drive home gave me time to pull myself together. I wiped at my swollen eyes and hoped I didn’t look too bad. The twinkling stars and the porch light guided my way. I unlocked the door to our little house as quietly as possible. I should have known my mom would be waiting for me. In my rush to get to the hospital, I’d forgotten to leave a note. I could feel her concern before the door was even closed. It was not like me to disappear without a word.

“Claire, what happened, honey? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” I lied. “I have some really good news. Alice is awake, and she’s back. It looks like she’s going to make a full recovery. I just left her at the hospital.”

“Oh, sweetheart, that’s wonderful! But then, why do you look so awful?” I could see the second it dawned on her. Her demeanor changed from concern to the fierce protector only a mother can be. She said just one word: “Jackson.”

In spite of my determination to hold it together, I could only nod because the tears were back. I ran to her, desperate for the understanding of the one person who would know what their return really meant.

With her arms still wrapped around me, we walked to my bedroom. She wiped away my tears and told me everything was going to be fine. We both knew that wasn’t true. Just like I knew she was remembering the last time she’d seen me cry. It was ten years ago. The cause then, as now, was Jackson Montgomery.

I got to live in their fairytale world for seventeen years. Alice and Jackson had supplied my visitor’s pass, at least until I’d betrayed my best friend, and she’d ended up in a coma. Now they were back, and I would have to be stronger than I’d ever been. I had to find a way to do what’s right even if it meant losing everything. The worst part was knowing, no matter what happened next, I deserved every second of misery coming my way.

10 Years Ago

I
T WAS THE
first weekend after high school graduation. I’m sure there was an unlimited supply of parties going on, but I was trapped into going to Jackson Montgomery’s. Even the thought of it caused my heart to free-fall to the pit of my stomach. How could I make Alice understand that I didn’t fit where she did so perfectly? The fact that Jackson hadn’t invited me was of no concern to her at all.