Rebecca Hagan Lee - [Borrowed Brides 02] (21 page)

David was struck by the tremendous responsibility. Their lovemaking had been a mistake. It should never have happened. David could have prevented it, but didn’t. Instead, he’d welcomed her with open arms, and she hadn’t disappointed him. He was a fool.

He was haunted by the idea of Lily Catherine in an orphanage somewhere back east. He couldn’t stand the thought of Tessa going to prison, Tessa possibly bearing a child, his child, in prison. He couldn’t take the risk. What had happened between them could not happen again.

But, David realized, he wouldn’t have changed last night for anything in the world. The loving was spectacular. Better than anything he’d ever experienced. There was no doubt about that. But he was confused. Had she come to him out of gratitude or had she given herself out of love? Would she have chosen him if she were free or had last night been the result of a moment of weakness? He wasn’t sure. He only knew that before they made love again, Tessa had to be able to choose. She had to be free. David didn’t want her to come to him out of gratitude. He didn’t want payment. He wanted love.

He carefully eased his body out from under her, then lifted Greeley off his chest and rolled to the side of the bed. He couldn’t make love to Tessa again while she remained in his custody, but he could try to make her life as pleasant as possible. He pulled on his pants and headed into his office.

* * *

Tessa awoke to the smell of bacon frying. Her nose twitched at the delectable scent. She opened her eyes, rolled to her side, and stretched. Memories of the night came flooding back. Tessa reached for David. The sheets were cold, and the bed was empty except for Horace Greeley.

“David?” Tessa sat up in bed. Sunlight streamed in the bedroom window. “Where is he?” she asked, hugging the orange tom, nuzzling his fur. “Where’s our big handsome man?”

She felt light, giggly. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, to embrace the world and everyone in it. It was wonderful, this thing between men and women. David was wonderful, incredible. Tessa reached for his white shirt on the foot of the bed, slipping it on to cover her nakedness. She flipped back the covers and stood up.

Crossing the bedroom, Tessa opened the door, and padded down the hallway, buttoning his shirt along the way.

She paused in the doorway.

David stood at the stove. He wore black trousers and socks. Nothing else. The rest of his body was bare. He held a plate of freshly scrambled eggs and a few strips of bacon in one hand and a steaming cup of tea in the other. The cup and saucer rattled against the side of the plate as he caught sight of Tessa.

“Good morning.” His words warmed her. The look in his eyes made her stomach flutter. “I cooked breakfast.” He moved with the grace of a cat and deftly set the plate in front of Tessa’s chair. “I thought you might be hungry.” He offered her the cup of tea.

Tessa walked to the stove. “Thank you.” She blushed as she took the cup of tea from him. Her movements were slow and awkward. Tea sloshed over the brim of the cup into the saucer.

David cleared his throat. He let his gaze roam over her. His shirt, open at her throat, covered the essentials, but left her long, shapely legs exposed. Her feet were bare, her toes curled against the cold floor. “Why don’t you sit down?” David suggested. He pulled out her chair and patted the seat.

“Are you going to join me?”

He wanted to. God, he wanted to. “No.” He didn’t quite meet her eyes. “I’ve already eaten.”

She set her cup on the table next to her plate. “Oh.”

“I like what you do for my shirt.” David didn’t realize he’d said the words aloud until Tessa’s face turned a deeper shade of red. He sat down across from her.

She toyed with the top button. “I didn’t think you’d mind. After last night…” She looked around the room.

“I don’t mind.” David had promised himself he wouldn’t think about last night, but not thinking about their lovemaking was impossible. His gaze followed Tessa’s around the room. He’d swept up the broken glass, but that was all. Her clothing was still scattered across his desk and on the floor, lying where it had fallen when he undressed her.

He cleared his throat again. Looking at his desk, David realized he’d never be able to work there again without remembering how she looked and sounded lying naked on top of it. “Uh, Tessa, about last night…”

“Oh, David.” Tessa’s blue eyes sparkled with emotion. “It was wonderful!” She smiled at him tentatively. “I never dreamed men and women could do such things.” She speared a mound of eggs. “Can we do it again? This morning?” She was eager to explore his body and the depths of his passion in the light of day.

“No.” David’s voice was flat as he forced the refusal.

“Why not?” Tessa was curious.

“Because, it can’t happen again. It shouldn’t have happened last night.”

The forkful of fluffy yellow eggs stopped midway to her mouth. She didn’t like the tone of his voice. She’d heard it before. In the jail. “Are you sorry?” Tessa’s blue eyes sparkled with a different emotion now. Tears shimmered near the surface.

David got up from the chair and began to pace. “Not sorry, exactly.” For someone known for his eloquence, he was doing a sorry job of explaining the situation to Tessa. His words came out sounding harsh and abrupt.

“Did I do something wrong?”

He turned back to look at her, saw the worried expression on her face. “No, Tessa, I did something wrong.”

“What?”

“You were a virgin!” David burst out. “For God’s sake, Tessa, I took your virginity.”

“You did no such thing.” Tessa dropped her fork; it clattered against the plate. “You didn’t take it. I gave it to you,” she said fiercely.

“Well, dammit, you shouldn’t have!”

“That’s what you say now.” Tessa stood up. “It’s not what you said last night.”

“I didn’t know last night!” He ran his fingers through his hair. “What the hell was Arnie Mason doing in your room? I thought—”

“You shouldn’t have.” She flung the words at him. “I told you from the beginning that I didn’t go with the gentlemen.”

“You worked at the Satin Slipper.”

“I served drinks, not myself.”

David laughed, a harsh sound that hurt Tessa’s ears. “Did Myra know she had hired a virgin? By God, you could have made her rich! Why did you work there?”

“Coalie and I had to eat,” Tessa reminded him. “And we needed a roof over our heads. But I never went with the gentlemen.”

“I know that,” David said. “So why the devil did you go with me last night?” He raked his long fingers through his hair.

“Because I wanted to.”

“Why?”

Because he made her feel beautiful and special and loved. Because she wanted him to feel the same way. Tessa realized suddenly that she wanted David Alexander, not just in the physical sense but in every way. Somewhere between the first time she saw him standing in the mass of curious spectators and last night, she’d fallen in love.

“What difference does it make?” Tessa asked. “It’s done.” He had spoiled it. The most beautiful experience in her entire life, and David had ruined it by saying he regretted it.

“It makes a hell of a lot of difference to me.” David stopped pacing. “I don’t want to be accused of seducing a poor innocent girl or fathering her child.”

Tessa recoiled as if he’d slapped her. In fact, slapping her might have been kinder. “What did you say?” Her voice was as frigid as an Arctic wind.

“You heard me.” David read the expression on her face. The surprise. The shock. The pain.

“Is that how you see it? Do you think that’s all that happened between us?” Her eyes widened until they looked like huge sapphires against a pale background.

David didn’t, but he couldn’t admit that, not even to erase the pain. It was better for her to be hurt now than pay a higher price later. So he ignored her question, unable to tell her how much their lovemaking had meant to him because telling her would bring her into his arms once again. And David was very much afraid he wouldn’t be strong enough to let her go.

She stood stock still. “Is that how you make love to Myra or Charlotte at the Satin Slipper?” Tessa demanded, fighting to keep her composure, fighting to keep the tears from flowing.

“Tessa—”

“Answer me. Do you do the same things to other women? Touch them the same way? Kiss them the same way?”

“Leave it alone, Tessa,” David said softly, “a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“And you’re a gentleman, aren’t you, Mr. Alexander? The perfect gentleman.” Tessa hurled the words at him. “What about last night? What happened to you then? Did some of the savage come out? Did you forget to be a gentleman with me?”

Her barb hit home.

“Yes.” He paled, stepping back as if she’d wounded him. “Yes, I forgot everything except taking what you offered. Everything except burying myself inside you.” His words evoked the images. David groaned, feeling himself swell with anticipation.

“What is it you’re afraid of, Mr. Alexander?” Tessa taunted. “Me or yourself?” She snatched her nightgown off the back of David’s leather chair.

“Both.” David, one step behind, reached out and grabbed her, pulling her into his body. “Both of us, dammit. And what we do to each other!” Leaning down, he covered her mouth with his own. Tessa’s nightgown fell to the floor, unnoticed.

The kiss mirrored his frustration and his need—hard and punishing at first, then softer, gentler, more loving. David buried his hands in her hair. He touched the red strands, tangling his long fingers in their silkiness, holding her head at the perfect angle to meet his questing mouth and tongue.

Tessa’s arms went around his waist. She kissed him back, meeting his tongue with her own, melting against him, offering him her body and her love.

David felt the soft cushion of her breasts against his chest, felt the buttons of his shirt pressing into the muscles of his stomach. David deepened the kiss, placed his hands on her hips and fitted her against him. God, he wanted her! Needed her to stop the ache.

But he couldn’t have her. He couldn’t take her.

“No, Tessa.” David broke the intimate contact. He moved his mouth away from hers, then took her arms from around his waist. “Stop.” He put her away from him, out of his reach, then moved around the office, gathering up her stray clothing.

“What’s wrong?” Tessa murmured.

“We can’t do this.” He thrust the clothes into her arms.

“I don’t understand,” Tessa said. “You want to. I want to. Why can’t we?” Didn’t he realize that they might never have another chance? Didn’t he realize what might happen to her? That she could die in prison?

“Because I need to be thinking about your hearing, not how wonderful you feel beneath me. I should be thinking about winning your freedom, not making love.” David gazed down at her. “And so should you. Dammit, Tessa, do you want to go back to jail?”

“How can you ask me that?” Tessa demanded. “No, of course I don’t want to go back to jail. I worry about it during the day. I dream about it at night. I think about my case. I think about being convicted of murder and being sent back to jail nearly every minute of every day.” She looked up at David and saw the harsh lines at the corners of his mouth, saw the frustration in his eyes.

“I’m not going to let that happen.” David wanted to shake her for her lack of faith in him, and at the same time he wanted to hold her and kiss her and tell her how much he admired her courage.

“You may not be able to prevent it,” she said.

And they both knew it was true.

“Then help me, dammit.” David’s voice was raw with emotion. He wasn’t going to lose Tessa, not when he’d just found her. He moved closer and put his hands on her shoulders.

It was a mistake.

Tessa leaned into him, her lips poised for kissing.

He touched his lips to hers before he could stop himself.

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, increasing the contact.

The moment her breasts pressed against him, David came to his senses. He broke off the kiss. “No.” His voice sounded firm. “We’re not going to repeat what happened last night. We’re not going to tempt fate and risk having you become pregnant.”

A thought occurred to Tessa. “The girls at the Satin Slipper don’t have babies.”

“The girls at the Satin Slipper know how to protect themselves,” David told her.

“Do you know how to do that?”

“Yes.”

“Then protect me,” Tessa replied logically.

“I can’t,” David said. He moved toward his desk. He needed distance. He needed to put something substantial between them. “I didn’t protect you last night. It may already be too late. And I’m not going to take another chance.”

“David…”

David stopped, alerted by the husky quality in Tessa’s tone of voice.

“Look at me.”

He turned.

She had to try just one more time to see if he would love her. “What’s wrong with stealing a few hours of happiness? In a week or two, I may be in prison for the rest of my life.” Tessa dropped the clothes on a chair and unbuttoned another of the buttons on the shirt she wore.

“Tessa…” David managed a strangled croak, watching as she slipped another button through the buttonhole.

“I want you to love me.” Tessa approached him, running her finger down the middle of his chest to the arrow of coarse, dark hair that disappeared into the waistband of his trousers.

It took an almost Herculean effort, but David forced the words around his tongue. “Not while you’re in my custody.” He watched her. “Dammit, Tessa, help me. Give me something to go on.”

Tessa undid the last button, then shrugged her shoulders letting the shirt fall down her arms. “Here.” She studied the strained look on David’s face, his impassive stance, and knew he was battling himself as much as her. “You’ll need this to get started.” She handed him his shirt, then turned, gathered her undergarments, and walked naked into her bedroom.

David stood frozen in place, watching her exit. The lock on her bedroom door clicked into place.

Walking to his desk, David grabbed the handle of the top drawer. Locked. “Damn.” He paced the confines of the office, searching the floor for the key to his scotch drawer.