Rebel Soul (19 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY

Sat 7th July

Emily woke up to the sound of rain on the car roof, squashed into the back seat with Billy almost on top of her. She loved the sound and the smell of the rain and tried to move Billy’s arm over, so she could set up and watch it. She smiled when she lifted his arm and he rolled off the seat catching his self before he hit the floor board. They both laughed.

“It’s raining,” Billy said, “Any other day, this rain would make my Dad happy, but today it will ruin his sale.”

Emily knew what he was talking about and laughed “All that work yesterday for nothing, Hu.” Billy pulled her into his arms. “Let’s not talk about that, my interest is in you, Baby.” He kissed her, nibbling on her ear and neck, then smiled as they both set up to look out.

It was beautiful Emily thought as she watched the large rain drops splash into the river. Billy climbed to the front and, opened the car door. “What the hell are you doing?” Emily ask.

Billy laughed “Getting out.” It was pouring as she watched him, step out of the car, and she followed close behind. Her hair was instantly wet from the down pour, but it was a warm rain and she loved the feel of it as it washed away, the stress of the life she had been living.

She laughed as Billy, yelled “whoo hoo this feels good baby” then he ran out into the water, under the falls, and she followed laughing. The rain hitting her face, felt refreshing. “Aw-w-w-w” she screamed “Yes” This is good she thought as they ran playing, screaming and yelling into the air as the rain fell, splashing down from the sky, sometimes the drops felt like small pins on her skin, but either way, it was enjoyable.

No one was around but Emily thought they would probably look crazy as hell, if there was any observers, but they needed to let off some steam and it felt good, a refreshing relief. Maybe we are crazy she thought, but who cares. I don’t.

As they grew tired they set on the riverbank in the rain, their arms around each other, just watching the rain hit the falls as the river was slowly rising. Then Billy laughed as he picked her up in his arms then swung her around in the air and kissed her, before they walked back to the car. As Billy opened the car door for her, she heard a clap of thunder in the distance.

“We better get out of here while we still can, before the road gets to muddy.” He said as he got into the car and started it. “But then again” he added “being stuck in the mud with you, stranded at the river, could be fun.” He tickled her, teasing.

The rode was muddy, but they managed to get through, driving through and around the mud holes. Emily thought it was amazing how quickly the river was rising. They made the trip though without incidence, safely back to Johnson Canton Road.

It was late in the morning when Billy dropped her off in front of her house. Made it safely here but how safe am I now? She ask herself as she walked up to the porch and set watching the rain, thinking about the conversation from the night before. They knew this relationship, would end in death if they didn’t leave soon, but Billy insisted they had to have money first. Don’t worry Emily, I will get the money, trust me, he had told her. Dam-it Billy she thought, she did trust him even though she didn’t know yet what his plans were, but her soul continued to scream danger. She could hear it loudly tugging at her saying listen to me Emily, listen dam-it. She tried to block it out, but she wondered, could his plans get them killed.

She walked upstairs to her room and uploaded some pictures of her and Billy to Facebook. She looked at the pictures, thinking about him, she loved him, his smile was charming and his body, nice and lean, muscular. Wow, being wrapped in his arms was amazing. Best man around, she commented on the pictures, smiling.

Hungry she listened for any movement from downstairs not hearing any, she went to the kitchen and stuck a piece of sausage in a biscuit. The rain had stopped so she headed toward the cemetery. Next to Joe’s grave was her Grandpas.

“Hey grandpa,” she said looking at his tombstone, “I just wanted you to know I’m in love with Billy Johnson. I know that might come as a shock to you, but I’m very certain of my love for him. I don’t want to spend a minute away from him, ever.”  Her grandpa had died, seven years ago, when she was ten. She had been his favorite and loved spending all her time with him. He taught her to hunt and fish, took her to the flea market, and the coffee shop, calling her his little princess to everyone. She really missed him, a lot. Would he be disappointed in her, she wondered.

She lite one of the joints that was laying on Joe’s tombstone, someone had actually put some in a baggy, they were still a little wet, but she managed to get a toke or two off of one of them. Then picked up the jar of shine, they now had peaches in them.

“Well Grandpa, I hope I’ve not become a disappointment to you. I’m sleeping with a Johnson boy, drinking and smoking pot every day and I might add, I killed a man the other day. I’m a disappointment to everyone else.” She quietly lite the joint again and smoked some more of it, then took another drink. “Well Joe thanks for the smoke and the drink.”

Emily thought she heard someone behind her then turned to see Ricky walking her way. He was handsome, Emily thought all her brothers were handsome. Maybe it’s the country thing, which makes them all muscular and handsome, she supposed.

“Emily” he said as he walked up next to her. “What are you doing?” Emily thought for a minute, then smiled, “Why, I’m standing here talking to, two of my favorite men, they don’t judge me.”

“I’m talking about this destructive behavior of yours. Heart to heart Emily, ok, you have changed.” She knew he was right, she had changed. “You aren’t the same sweet girl you was before you starting seeing Billy Johnson. He has always been wild, but word around town says that he has become even more destructive than he was before. This relationship isn’t healthy, Emily, for either of you.” He stopped talking and looked at her seriously, then continued. “Emily you are my sister, and no matter what, happens, I want you to know I love you but I can’t set by and watch you dating a Johnson. The brother to the guy who murdered our brother, your brother Emily, the one laying right here in this grave, in front of you and the family we have been feuding with for years.” She listened to Ricky, but her heart wasn’t hearing it, “Look at you now, drunk, high, you have been snappy with Mom, ignoring Dad, going missing for days at a time. If this relationship puts this much stress on you, why are you doing this to yourself? Listen to me Emily, this relationship will end in disaster, mark my word on it.”

Emily knew he meant well, but she loved Billy. “Ricky, I’m sorry that you feel that way. I love Billy, my heart aches when I’m not with him. I had never went out much before, I’m just having fun. We are soul mates Billy and I. Did you know I have watched him, ever since I was a little girl? I have known in my heart, since the day I started Kindergarten that Billy was a special part of my life. I don’t know how to let that go Ricky, I can’t.”

“Well Emily,” he pulled a joint out of his shirt pocket and lit it. “I hope it all turns out well, but it’s not going to, mark my word on it.” Then he passed the joint to Emily and they talked for a while as the sun came out showing a beautiful rainbow in the sky.

They walked back to the house, and Emily got disapproving looks from her mom and dad as she walked in the door, but she didn’t care. Josh eyed her as he was leaving, squinting his eyes, like he was saying you need to change your ways Sis, she didn’t care about that either. She walked past them, ignoring it all and went to her bedroom, the words Ricky had said stinging her, like a hive of bees, and it hurt badly.

She couldn’t give Billy up, and knew this would end in death, how could it, end any other way. She didn’t want Billy to die, I’ll just kill myself, she thought, as she reached for a bottle of Tylenol that set on her nightstand. Then she stopped, thinking about Billy and the hurt it would put him through, and through the bottle across the room. Her hands were shaking badly, and her mind was a mess, like a tornado spinning round and round inside her. She wanted to scream but she knew that would only bring her Mom running to her room, and she would have to set and listen to hours’ worth of lectures. That’s the last thing she needs. She walked across the room and picked up the Tylenol and swallowed a couple without water.

“Fuck,” she said as she heard the squeak of the stairs and footsteps walking up them, and held in her breath hoping they would walk past her room. “Jesus” she let out her breath as she watched the shadow under her door walk on past.

I need to get out of here she thought. I can’t handle the stress, she set down on her bed putting her head in her hands, and picked her phone just as it vibrated in her hands. She looked at the message from Billy, You want to sleep at the river again tonight, with me. My house is Hell.

Yes, she quickly text back, my house is hell also. She changed her clothes quickly and walked past her Mom in the living room, “you going somewhere?” she ask

“Yes, be back later.” Emily told her and walked out just as Billy pulled up.

“You’re not leaving,” Josh yelled at her just as she stepped off the porch, his face was red with anger as he jerked her by the arm.

“Turn me loose Josh,” Emily could see Billy getting out of the car, from the corner of her eyes, this could be a disaster, her mind sang to her.

“Turn her loose Josh,” Emily heard the voices she knew one was Billy’s but she couldn’t see the other person. Josh had her pinned against his chest and she couldn’t tell what was happening. This scared her as she prayed no one would get shot.

“Josh,” it was her Moms voice, this was a relief to Emily, as she relaxed a little “Turn her loose Josh.” Her Mom said. She felt it Josh pushed her down the steps, she couldn’t catch herself as she hit the ground hard, it hurt as she landed, her hip and her leg the sharp pains. Did I break something she wondered but felt Billy’s hands under her arms as he helped her up? The pain struck again as she stood, shooting from her left knee to her hip, and she hobbled to the car as Billy opened the door for her and helped her in. She didn’t think it was broke but she hurt like hell. Just like losing Billy would her subconscious told her. What am I going to do she ask herself as they left the driveway.

“You ok Baby?” Billy ask as they spun quickly out.

“I think so” she said as she looked back at the house and watched Josh still standing on the porch with her Mom.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Sun 8th July

They had been up all night, partying with some friends at the river. The Turner and Adams boys had showed up, it had been a disaster, a big fight. Billy had actually flat knocked out Rob Adams out. The brawl looked like something you would see in a bar room fight on TV, everyone joining in. It had been so exhausting. He held up his arms and it looked like he had been in a cat fight. “Shit” He said out loud feeling the bruising on his face. He climbed to the front seat and looked at his face in the rear view mirror, his cheek was bruised but he was otherwise ok.

He felt Emily’s hand touch his cheek and he flinched, it hurt, but her smooth hands on his face helped him somehow. He looked into her eye’s there was no way he would ever let her go. He leaned back in the seat, exhausted, they were both tired, and he could see it in her eyes. He felt the churning in his stomach from the alcohol and lack of food mixed and opened the car door to throw up. It was only dry heaves, nothing would come out. It was treble. A nightmare threatening his very being, as he felt dizzy with the thoughts spinning in his mind. Thoughts of Emily and the terrible mess, he had brought into her life, but he wasn’t going to let her go now and let someone else have the girl of his life.

“I think we should skip church today Baby, I think I’m still a little drunk.” He laughed.

“Me to Billy” He noticed her holding her head, and reached across the seat to rub it for her. They both laughed. “I need to go home though, take a shower, and change clothes.” She said. Billy started the car, and put it in gear, everything looked as if it was floating in front of him, I hope I can drive he thought and set quietly for a minute before driving off. He drove a lot slower toward home, much slower than usual, as he tried to concentrate on the road in front of him. This is bad he thought to his self. If we are going to stay together, our lives will have to change, and I plan on keeping her forever. What am I going to do lord he prayed.

He dropped Emily off, then went home and slept most of the day. He woke up thinking about her. It was almost dark, when he walked outside to the campfire his dad had started in the backyard. A habit his Dad had for as long as Billy could remember. The whole family would gather around it at times and talk about their day or what they had planned for the week. Sometimes they would roast marshmallows or hotdogs, but they always had a drink of shine. Then walk around the side of the house with Ed to smoke a joint or two.

Billy set down next to his Dad and rubbed his hands together, warming them. Andy handed him a stick and a marshmallow. Billy could tell by the expression on his Dads face he was going over something serious in his mind.

“Billy,” his dad said “What’s going on with you? You look like shit, and I can’t remember the last time I seen you sober.”

“Nothing Dad, just hanging out with Emily,” he was thinking about texting her. He loved and ached for her, wanted to hold her, right at that very moment.

“Boy, I know I have yelled at you and tried to beat some sense into you but the fact is you are old enough to do what you want. So I can’t tell you what to do, but what I am going to tell you is this” Andy pointed toward the Canton land “that little girl, over there, isn’t for you.” Then he turned looking at Billy, “She may be acting out right now, a lot of fun for you, but I know her type, she’s just rebelling against her parents, but she will end up leaving here someday, and she won’t take anything from her country life with her, including you Billy. This relationship won’t end well son and I hope you are alive at the end of it.” Then Andy turned back towards the campfire, and spit some tobacco on the ground, and shook his head.

Billy didn’t know if he would be alive at the end of it, he had come to that conclusion weeks ago, or maybe it had only been days. So much had happened, it seemed like years to him right now. But to him, time with Emily was worth his life. Billy pulled out his phone and sent her a text “I love you Emily.”

“I love you Billy Johnson” she had send back. Billy smiled. His dad was wrong, he knew she loved him. He roasted a couple more marshmallows and eat them quietly as he set with his Dad and watched the fire dance around in the dark. Then he walked back in the houses and pulled up Facebook on his laptop. Emily had uploaded the pictures from a few days before. He laughed, she is so beautiful he thought to himself. Her Innocent smile glowing out at him from the pictures, his heart pounded with need for her touch. He commented on the pictures, the most beautiful and exciting girl in the world, my baby. Billy was so involved with looking at her beauty he didn’t hear Ed walk up behind him, and jumped at his voice.

“You want to share a joint Bro.” Then Ed set down on the bed and looked over Billy’s shoulder at the pictures, and laughed.

“Sure” Billy answered as he took the joint from Ed’s hand.

“Billy, when are you going to realize, you and Emily can’t last. Man, you two are obsessed with each other, it’s not healthy, and you say you are soul mates Billy, like I said before if you are, its soul mates from hell, you are going to get killed, one or both of you.” Billy watched as Ed shook his head, but he also felt uncomfortable, and thought he saw something, something that scared him, when Ed saw Emily, something that threatened his life with her. He felt like Ed wanted her for his self, and that really worried him.

“Yeah, she’s the love of my life,” Billy laughed. He could tell thought that Ed was trying to be serious, despite the lust Billy saw in Ed’s eye’s when he looked at her.

“Yes she is definitely a dish,” Billy thought he heard a pause in Ed’s voice when he said the word dish. “But Billy, this is the first time I have seen you sober in at least a month. You are out here racing around driving drunk with a Canton girl in your car, and Billy, Emily Canton has always been a good girl. What’s happening with you two? I don’t get it.”

Billy laughed again, “I love her, my heart feels like it might break into a million pieces every time we are apart. She is all I can think about, my mind is flooded with thoughts of her. I would have felt stupid saying this before this summer but she is my soul mate Ed, my soul mate. I see her in my dreams, when I’m not with her. Everywhere I look, I see her.”

“Like I said Billy, you’re obsessed.” Billy was getting tired of this and the words he was thinking fell out of his mouth. He was jealous and angry.

“Maybe Ed, but I wonder if you are saying these things, because you want her for yourself, I’ve seen the way you look at her. She’s mine Ed.” Billy glared at him, drawing his hands into a fist.

Billy watched as Ed’s face grew red and he quietly walked out of the room. “That’s what I thought,” Billy shouted as the door closed behind Ed.

Billy laid back on the bed with his hands behind his head staring at the dingy ceiling above him. He had thought a few times about ending things with Emily, not because he didn’t love her or want her, but she had changed, and he knew this relationship had to be hard on her.

He had also thought a number of times about just ending his life and giving her, the freedom she deserves, but couldn’t stand the thought of someone else having her someday. That’s selfish Billy, he thought to his self. Ed was right he was obsessed.

Why end it if someone else will do it for me, he thought it’s just a matter of time anyway before one of her brothers or someone else does it. I don’t care as long as Emily is safe, He thought as he sit up and looked out the window, watching as Ed and John walked into the woods with jugs to water the plants.

He wanted to spend his life with her but in reality he couldn’t provide for her the things that she deserved, what did she see in him, anyway. He really didn’t think it was a rebellion against her parents, all he knew was as long as she wanted him, he would give her his whole heart and when he lost her, he would die then, and in the meantime, he was going to try and get some money, enough for a house, on some land and try to give her a life.

He sent her a text, meet me by the road. Let’s go for a walk. He gripped the phone tightly in his hand.

See you in a minute she sent back. Billy reached under his bed and pulled out a bag of pot rolling a few joints and stuck them in his pocket the walked out of his room. Andy was walking through the front door as Billy was leaving, then put his hand on Billy’s shoulder stopping him.

“Billy, I just want to say, we can’t do anything about the affairs of the heart but we can about our common sense, and boy, I’m worried about yours. I’ve already got one boy setting in jail, and Jack has one in the ground. I just don’t want it to happen again, with the rolls reversed.” Then he patted Billy on the shoulder and walked to the kitchen.

Billy didn’t answer him or even make any comments, he just hurried out to the road to meet Emily. No he couldn’t do anything about the way his heart felt any more than he could change what happen to Jr and Joe. He saw Emily walking toward him, the beautiful girl who had stolen his heart, and any sense of stability of thinking straight again. “Wow, she is beautiful” he whispered as he lost all ability to restrain his emotions for her. He quickly pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard, he couldn’t make his self-turn her loose, he wanted to make love to her right then and there, but knew he couldn’t, and had to force his self to turn her loose. He was out of breath, “Emily, lets walk down to the cave area,” He told her as he held her out in front of him and gazed into her eye’s. His heart melted. “I love you so much baby, I could never find love like this again.”  He watched her smile spread across her face. That beautiful smile, and pulled her into his arms again, nuzzling his nose into the softness of her hair, the smell of cotton candy mixed with the natural smell of her body, was so intoxicating, it made him dizzy, and his knee’s felt weak.

“Let’s go” he said as he took her hand. He had to get her alone before he burst. Away from the eyes of those that were trying to tear them apart.