Reborn (2 page)

I nod, “I know.”

“You been alone a long time?”

I nod again.

He grins, “Me too—well, before I stumbled upon the jokers I live with. I just found this camp too. Who knew so many of us were gathering and living together in peace. Now if you wanna take the meat without the nonsense of gutting that deer, I can show you how.”

Not sure how to proceed, I wait a moment. He shrugs and turns so I throw the knife to the ground, “You do it.”

I step back and pull the arrow back, targeting him and taking a breath to steady my hand.

He chuckles, “Your arm is gonna get sore holding that on me.”

I shake my head, “Nope.”

He walks to the knife and drops to his knees at the deer’s side.

He turns her on her side and pushes her feet together. He cuts along the belly, skinning only. He slices and trims quickly. I’m amazed at how fast and clean he is. He pulls off his shirt and lays the meat on it as he removes the hindquarters and backstraps. I let the arrow go slack and watch him.

He hands me back my bloody knife and wraps the huge pile of meat in the shirt. He slings it over his back like a filthy hobo would have before, “Name’s Jack.”

I nod approvingly, “Emma.”

We walk back together.

“You must have been a survivalist, Jack.”

He laughs, “I was a politician, Emma. There isn’t anyone in the world who is more survivalist than a politician.”

I frown.

He shrugs, even with the huge sack of meat on his back, “I hunted every fall with friends. We thought we were survivalists. You know, taking eighty-thousand dollar SUV’s into the woods to stay in a half million-dollar cottage. We would drink and hunt and act like we had a clue.” His voice trails off. He glances at me, “What’s your story?”

I frown, “What?”

He grins, “You look like the other kids here but you don’t act like them.”

My insides sting. I look down, “No story.”

“You were just born knowing how to survive something like this? Born to hunt and fight for everything you have?”

I laugh, “Oh that. My dad, Lenny, he was big into survival stuff. He owned a health-food store and all his free time was spent learning more things and stock piling.”

He scoffs, “We used to laugh at those people and now look at us all. In the beginning I would have died and gone to heaven to meet someone like him.”

I nod, “Yeah, he was a single dad, so when I was five he put me in day camps with people who taught us things. I learned about berries and the woods and all this.” I gave him an earnest face, “Beyond the bad things, they taught us about a life like this.”

He frowns, “I didn’t know they had day camps like that, not for mall kids.”

I snort, “They did.”

“Well, 2012 was a big year for the world ending. No one ever thought it would happen, not really.”

I sighed, “Lenny did. He had it to the day. Well, he did in his mind. He was off but not by much, couple weeks maybe.”

He adjusts the bloody sack, “I wish I’d put my kids in camps like that.”

His words burn me. I try to keep my nice tone, “Where did you live?”

He gives me another smile, “Here in Washington. I’ve been here my whole life.”

I laugh, “Are we in Washington?” I never know where I am. I have probably never actually left Washington.

He shakes his head, “Touché.”

I don’t know what that means but he seems amused.

The feeling of not being wanted or liked seeps back in as we near the camp.

“You aren’t that girl Emma who everyone thinks is a monster, are you?”

I don’t say anything, but I know the hateful look on my face gives me away.

He sighs, “I should have guessed. The only girl who can hunt and take care of herself is the one they don’t like. My wife woulda liked you. She still might like you, ‘course not in the same way. I last saw her wandering in Seattle before I left. She still looked like her. I mean, minus the fact she was a zombie.”

I give him a harsh look. He shrugs, “What?”

“Your wife is one of the infected and you let her live like that?”

His eyes gloss over for a second, “I didn’t have it in me, Emma. I could shoot anything in the whole world but not that woman.”

I didn’t understand that, “You’d let her die slowly instead?”

He nodded, “I like to imagine she’s out there living peacefully, like an animal might. She’s taking down deer and she’s okay. She has her face in the wind, ya know?” I do know, but I can’t agree with letting her live.

I grip my bloody knife and think about calling him a name but suddenly Will is there. He makes things in my stomach hurt. ‘Course everything does these days.

“You kill something?” he asks.

My lip curls into a sneer.

Jack laughs, “Will, this is some girl you found. Got an arm on her like I’ve never seen.”

Will’s eyes don’t leave mine, like they’re searching me for something, “I know it, Jack.” I glance at the bandage on his arm where I shot him with an arrow and try my best to hate him.

Jack must sense the awkwardness between me and Will; he starts yakking again, “She downed a deer at a hundred yards with a bow and never even blinked at slitting the throat.”

Will puts a hand out for the bloody sack, “I don’t doubt she did.”

Jack gives me a smile and Will the meat, “You want to hunt again, let me know.”

I nod at him and walk away.

Will jogs up, “Carry the meat, Em.”

I give him a sideways glance, “What?”

“Let them know you caught it.”

I look at the camp of people, “Screw them. I don’t need their help and I don’t care what they think of me. They don’t need to like me. I like that they fear me.” It isn’t all true, but I want it to be.

I turn and stalk off for the water. I need to clean up. I hardly even touched the dead deer, but I’ve never felt dirtier. I think it might be Will.

When I get to the water, I see Jake... of course. He's swimming and floating and enjoying himself. I want to be angry that he isn't being useful, but then he swallows some of the water and makes a face like Leo does when he's trying to get something out of his mouth. I bet he's swallowed a water bug.

When he sees me, he doesn't realize I just saw him being all goofy. He gives me his sexiest smirk, “You back for more skinny dipping?”

I make a noise that says no, but I don't answer him.

He lowers his gaze and makes a disgusted face, drawing my eyes down to the thickened blood dropping from my knife.

I grin until he hops out of the water. Then I swallow, seeing him without his shirt on, sitting on the rocks in a pair of dark-blue shorts that used to be pants. His body is dripping water. I watch it run down his tanned and filled-out chest. He looks better than when I met him, not so skinny. The eating and resting looks good on him.

He shakes his head like Leo does to get the water off; it makes the funny feeling in my stomach go away.

I drop my bow and carry my bloody knife to the water. When I drop to my knees to rinse it off, I swear I can feel him staring at me still. It makes me want to run away, but there's something I wanna know.

I glance at him, “Why didn’t you tell me about it all before? Why'd you wait?” I don’t need to specify. He knows what I’m talking about.

He makes an awkward face, “Em, this is a bizarre situation. I honestly thought he'd told you. I thought I was last to find out. Not to mention, he’s my brother. I didn’t even know Star’s name when he was with her. Back then, I liked you and I thought you liked me. We spent those couple weeks at the cabin, both laid up. I'd never really talked to many girls my age so I thought it might just be us flirting. But between the time at the cabin together and then on the run, I sort of got the impression you wanted to be mine. I know it was dumb, but I did."

I feel like I should apologize but I'm not sorry. I liked him. I felt it the minute I met him.

He sighs and rubs his hands through his wet hair. He looks at me with his sweet eyes and shakes his head, "Everything's changed. It did the minute everything went crazy, and then crazier. I saw the way you looked at him, when you'd chosen him. I figured it was because he could keep you safe. Girls don't choose guys like me. You and Anna are still saving my ass.”

I glance up at him and continue to scrub my knife, “I don’t need anyone to protect me, Jake. I was doing fine on my own before you all came along.”

He picks a branch up from the rock next to him and sighs, smacking it against the rock, “Why’d you help us if you regret it so much? Why’d you let us in after being alone for so long?”

I feel a strange thickness in my chest. It’s heavy, like I can't breathe through it. I shake my head. I sit there for a second and try to find an answer.

Finally I look at him, “I don’t have a reason. I just saw Anna’s face, and the way she was ready to die for you, and I knew she was a person that needed to be saved. I think the world is short on people like you, Anna, Sarah, and Meg. Every town I’ve been to and every group of people I’ve come across, is filled with assholes. Men who take things ‘cause they want them and women who would cheat you to be sure you get hurt before they do. I can't bear the thought that people like them and Marshall and my father get to live and be happy, but someone as beautiful as Anna might die. The minute I saw you both, I didn’t want you to die.”

He whistles, “Sometimes you open your mouth and stun the shit outta me.”

I laugh, "Shut up." It makes the heavy feeling in my chest go away. He always makes it lighter.

I drop the knife and pull my outer shirt off. I don’t care that he’s looking. I pull down my pants and kick off my boots. Turning away from him, I dive into the cold water in my tank top and underwear. Breaking the surface of the flat glass-like lake is a stunning feeling. The heat of the day was intense. Even in the mountains, we can’t get a breeze or a cool off.

I hear his splash as I surface.

“When are we leaving here?” he asks as he swims past me.

I shake my head, “You’re not leaving. You gotta go back to the cabin and take care of Sarah and Meg. I think something is up with Mary.”

He gives me a look, “Nice try. When are we leaving here?”

I shake my head as I tread water, “No, you can’t come. It’s going to be dangerous. I don’t even know what we’re doing. We have no real plan. All we have is the need for vengeance mixed with hatred.” It’s a line from a book I read a long time ago. A line I never thought made sense in the world. I never got vengeance before, I always took the coward’s path.

He splashes me, “You have got to stop reading so much, it makes you sound like you give a shit.”

I feign a hurt look, “I do.”

He swims in a circle around me, “I know you do, but no one is going to believe the mean-ass look on your face if you’re spouting some romantic-sounding crap at them.”

A laugh slips from my lips before I could stop it. I lay on my back and watch the sky start to darken.

“Where did you go with that bloody knife anyway? Did you kill someone?”

“Yup,” I chuckle and look up as the water covers my ears, making my voice sound funny in my head, “I went hunting. I love late-in-the-day hunting. The deer are lethargic and tired from the heat. Everyone always wants to do the morning hunt but the deer are like us. They wake up refreshed and ready for the day.”

I don’t look to see if he’s listening or caring. He isn’t ever going to hunt. It’s just something my dad once told me. He always did a night hunt.

After a long time of no talking, I look at him, “Tell me something you remember.”

He floats closer, “I remember I had a game, I was supposed to build something or maybe tear down buildings. Me and Will could play together on our iPods. He liked to pretend he didn’t play when older people were there, but if it was just me and him, he was hounding me. I remember summer watermelon, so juicy it ran down my face when we were eating it. Dad said they used to have seeds. Big ones too. He said that when he was little, he believed if he swallowed the seeds they’d make a tree and he would die as it grew. I remember songs on the radio. Mom would turn it loud and we’d sing at the top of our lungs. I remember there was a girl named Becky in my class who made my stomach hurt the way you do.”

My eyes are watering. I don’t look at him. I just whisper, “I remember sitting in the cabin and wondering if I was all alone. If the whole world had died and left me behind. I remember seeing my first infected. I had run and scrambled up a tree. I sat up there for so long and he wouldn’t leave. A man came and he shot the infected, but I still wouldn’t leave the tree. I peed my pants sitting in that tree. I stayed until I was sure he was gone… but he wasn’t. He chased me but I was faster. That was the first time I discovered that just because it feels safe, doesn’t mean it is.”

His hand covers mine and we just float in the silence of the darkening sky.

“You won't ever forgive him, will you?”

I shake my head, “No. Not the way he needs me to.”