Reborn (3 page)

“He loves you.”

I nod, “I know.” I look over at him and tread water, “I never imagined any of this was possible. It’s better than I hoped for. It’s better than I deserve. But it’s also too short to waste on not ever knowing if he’s lying to me again.”

He splashes water at me, “Don’t be so mean.”

I grin, “I was raised by wolves, what do you expect?”

He laughs and I feel like everything is going to be okay again. I never should have let my attraction to them become something more than my friendship with them.

The sky starts to darken more and when I look up, I see Anna and Bernie walking down the path. My inner alarm sounds off but I have to stop it. I know he’s a good guy. I know he would never hurt her. He’s not like the rest of them.

Anna strips to her bra and underwear and dives in.

I look at the disgusted look on Jake’s face and smile. Bernie waves at us, “Hey guys.”

I wave but Jake doesn’t. He looks annoyed.

“What’s your problem with Bernie?” I mutter softly.

He looks back at me, “He likes Anna.”

I nod, “I know, but when I told him she was seventeen, he seemed upset by it. He doesn’t want anything to happen until she’s older. He is a good guy, genuinely.”

His eyes narrowed, “You sure?”

I nod, “Yup. It’s Allan we need to keep an eye on. That guy’s a pervert. I’m going to kill him with my bare hands, if I get the chance.”

Jake laughs nervously, “You’re so small, and yet, so scary.”

I point at him, “Don’t forget it. You’re staying here when we leave.”

He reaches for me with one of his bear-paw hands, “Don’t think so.” I try to swim away but he dunks me.

I swim away and float on my back as Anna swims up. She whispers, “I see you give Bernie that look again, and I will cut you in your sleep.”

I shake my head and whisper back, “I never gave him a look. I like Bernie. I’ll like him even more, when you’re twenty.”

Her face grows dark, “Emma, I like him now, and I’m not waiting three years to be happy. I know what I want and I could die tomorrow. It’s my life.”

I swim closer, “You do anything with him now and I will kill him.”

She leans in, almost growling with her whisper, “I’ll kill you first.”

I laugh ‘cause she is the only person in the world who I consider a match, “Don’t push me, I have Jake and Will on my side.”

She bats her eyelashes, “Don’t bet on it.” I know they both kowtow to her with that sweet face and nasty whisper. She swims to Jake. I see his face darken at whatever she’s saying. She looks like she’s crying and he stops looking angry. She bats those lashes and whispers, and he softens completely back to friendly Jake.

“Cheating little brat,” I whisper, watching the display. Jake wraps an arm around her as Bernie slips into the water.

He paddles over to me like he might not actually know how to swim, “Wow, this is really cold still. How’s it so cold still?”

I shake my head and try not to look like I might murder him any second, “Snowmelt from up the mountain maybe?” Before I can ask him more questions, the teenagers come. They’re between Anna’s and my age and rowdy as hell. They dive in, pushing and shoving and joking.

Bernie sighs. I share his sentiment.

The calm water becomes choppy as they hoot and holler.

“Hey, it’s you.” One of them sees me and swims over. “I dunked you last time, remember? Mark.” He’s closer to my age and has a scar along the side of his face.

I nod, “Hi.”

He treads water near me, “You really that girl who everyone says is a monster?”

“Yeah.”

He grins, “You don’t look like a monster to me.”

A female voice interrupts us, “You haven’t seen her take down a whole breeder farm single handedly.”

I turn to see a girl my age. She beams as she continues, “She saved my ass. Dragged me from the pool as the roof was collapsing on us.”

I shake my head, “It wasn’t collapsing. We had time to get out.”

Her bright eyes flash, “No, it was unsteady.” She turns to Mark again, “Then she ran us through a field with a wolf, and he attacked whatever was left, after she used two handguns and shot everything that moved.”

I roll my eyes, “I wasn’t alone.”

Mark laughs, “You are badass. No wonder the old people are scared of you. I heard they have a name for you in the towns. Some kind of bird or something.”

I sigh, “I did what anyone would have done and I wasn’t alone. There was a whole team of people and Leo is like five men.”

The girl nodded, “Yeah, that sexy guy, Will was there. Him and Mitch, the sniper guy. Hey, if you know Will and Mitch can you introduce me?”

Mark shoved her, “What am I—chopped liver? I got something I can introduce you to.”

I’m sure I look stunned, “I gotta go.” I swim to the rock and climb out. I don’t know which clothes are mine. There are piles of them. The fading light of the day makes it hard to see.

I look back at the huge group of kids, people I consider kids but are my age, and shake my head.

“What the hell is wrong with them?” Anna whispers to me, “They act like the world never ended. It’s like the Sweet Valley high books I read at the cabin. I expect these idiots to drive away in one of those cars with no roof and go shopping at a mall.” She sighs, “We need to come earlier so we can swim without them.”

I look at her, “I won't touch Bernie. You’re already at least ten-years older than these people. They have no clue what’s out there in the world. I can’t even imagine you dating a guy like that.”

She looks at them and shakes her head, “They never leave this group. They stay and make a life and that’s it. They’ve been with them since the beginning.”

I nod, “What if this group doesn’t last forever; none of them has a clue. They’re like the grasshopper who played all summer.”

She gives me a confused look and pulls on her shirt and passes me mine.

Bernie climbs out, “We’ll have to come earlier tomorrow to avoid that.”

Anna grins at him.

Jake doesn’t climb out. He fits in but watches me go.

That’s the difference between us. He is a grasshopper too. I’m the ant who would save him, no matter what the circumstances.

I leave for the tent, holding my clothes, knife, bow, quiver, and boots. The warm, night air is considerably-less intense than the last time I was here.

I walk up the path alone and distracted. At the top, a pair of yellow eyes meet me on the trail. I grin when I see them, but they don’t lose any of their worry and annoyance in the dim light.

I put a hand down, “I knew you’d come.” Seeing him gives me a bad feeling. He’s here for something and it makes me think about my dream. He makes a sound and walks over to nudge me. I run my fingers through his fur and hold his face up, “You okay? What about Meg and Sarah, they okay?”

He doesn’t whine. He just gives me a deadly stare, like I’m in trouble for leaving him behind, or just leaving altogether.

He turns and walks up the path with me. I pull on my clothes when I get to a small fire. The lady standing next to it gives me a look.

I hate it here.

I wanna be alone and never see any of these people again.

Anna loops an arm into mine as I finish pulling on my boots, “Let's go to the big fire.” She gives the glaring lady a homicidal look and drags me off. Leo nudges her. She whispers a bunch of things to him. He makes his sloppy wolf face but then gives me another angry look. She laughs in a high-pitched and nearly-silent chuckle.

“Why do I get the impression these people all hate you still?”

I look back at Bernie who’s caught up with us, “‘Cause they do.”

He looks confused, “You are the last person I could ever be prevailed upon to hate.”

I shake my head, “Sometimes you talk funny, Bernie.”

He gives me an amused look, “It was a compliment.”

We walk to the big fire. It’s a huge bonfire again, like last time. Only the night isn’t as cool, so the heat feels more intense.

Leo sits at my feet, he doesn’t lay down though. He senses the discomfort in me and stays alert. I run my fingers through his fur and hope he can calm down. I'd hate for him to eat someone out of nervous behavior.

Bernie sits beside me and Anna sits next to him, damn near on him.

He moves over, closer to me.

I lean in and whisper, “I trust you, Bernie. Don’t make me not trust you. I won't interfere with you and Anna, and I won't let the boys either. Just don’t be creepy, please.”

He gives me a sheepish look, “She kissed me, Em. I told her she was too young.”

I nod, “She’s crazy like that.”

Anna shoots us a look and whispers savagely, “I like you, Bernie. I like you, Em. Don’t make me hurt either of you.”

Bernie swallows hard but Anna takes his hand and cradles it in her lap.

The world is full of perverts and bad people; Bernie is not one of them. He gives me a look. I actually feel like he’s the one about to be victimized. I fight a laugh and lean in to whisper, “If you like her, I suggest you get comfortable with her. She’s nuttier than squirrel poo and you don’t stand much of a chance at getting away. She’s got a deadly shot and uncanny instincts.”

He laughs, “Why do I feel like the woman in the relationship?”

Anna gives him a grin, like telling him he is.

In the dim light and the sparks in the air that light it up like fireflies, I see him.

He makes my stomach tighten.

He carries a guitar and sits in the same spot as last time, on the opposite side of the fire. I can’t see him. But I can hear him instantly.

A girl and him start with a song he sang last time.

Leo starts to mellow out and lies at my feet. Bernie moves closer to Anna. The fire consumes my focus. My gaze is locked and my heart is lost in the broken rasp of his voice and guitar. The girl he sings with sounds sweet compared to him.

Jake walks up and sits down by Will. When he sits I no longer see him, but I hear him.

I see a guitar passed over and hear when it starts to be played with Will’s.

The music is enough. It’s more than enough. If we never have anything but this as an extra, surviving the struggles and the hunger and the filth and fear, I wouldn’t care. The music is like blowing up a balloon at a party but the air is going into my heart. I feel fuller.

Anna nuzzles into Bernie and I see them, they suit each other so much. The flickers of the fire lights up the relationship going on between them. It’s further along than Bernie wants to admit. In the flashes of light, I see another set of eyes watching them.

Star.

She smiles at me. I see something in her eyes. I can’t help but wonder if mine look the same.

Neither one of us fits in, they just don’t know that about her yet. I want to hate her, for the worst and most petty reason in the world, and yet I can’t. I feel sorry for her in the way I want to feel sorry for myself.

We weren’t born to be like these people. We’ll always sit outside the circle.

The song ends and they start to sing the one I remembered Will talking about. The one with the Heys and Hos by their dad’s favorite band. The song sounds amazing. Will’s voice is sexy on its own, but combined with the other two and the sound of the crackling fire, I have the strangest sensation inside of me. I don’t even know where it is exactly. It’s like it moves around and changes things. My heart skips beats and speeds up. My stomach is in a knot, like the infected have surrounded us and I don’t have anywhere to run. I feel a sickening loss of control.

I stand abruptly and walk away from the fire. The whole group starts singing with them. The voices get quieter as I walk away and I think I might have left my heart at the fire.

Leo nudges me.

I can't see his face but I bet he looks confused. I know I am. I crunch and nearly stumble to the far side of the camp as the song ends. He creeps into the woods ahead of me.

I need to leave.

It dawns on me suddenly.

I don’t belong with them. The song was saying something about belonging and I don’t. That’s the pain and the discomfort. I won't ever be like them and they won't ever survive me. Only Leo and Star will ever make it through what we are. I feel the fire and the singing and the camaraderie tricking me and pulling me into the falseness of this place. I've spent ten years staying alive, and in the few months I've known them, they are ruining the things I was doing right.

Not to mention, I’m dragging them all into my problem.

Mine and Star’s.

I lean against a tree and look back at the group; I need her to come with me. I need to keep Anna and Jake safe. I want to hunt alone but my sister needs to come clean up with me.

“You alright, kid?”

I jump and glance over at the figure standing next to me, “I’m fine.”

Jack walks up and leans against a tree next to me, “You seem edgy.”

I grip my bow, “You just surprised me, is all. I need your help.” I don’t want to ask but it makes sense.