Rebound (32 page)

There was no point. Every choice she had made had brought her to this place and made her the woman she had become. And she liked that woman. She had good friends, family, her amazing kid and a bright new career on the horizon. Over all, she considered herself luckier than most.

She rounded the corner towards her place for the final leg of her run. She was shaken from her inter-cranial monologue and realized that Bob Marley was singing in her ear. He was saying, “Don’t worry, about a thing...”

  She smiled and loudly sang along, “Cuz every little thing’s, gonna be alright!”

  Yep, that about summed it up....

Epilogue

“Mr. Abbot.”

“Mr. Abbot!”

“XANDER!!”

“What? I’m sorry Ellenor, did you need something?”

He was looking out at the New York City Skyline. He loved doing that. Two sides of his office were floor to ceiling windows, so the view was pretty spectacular.

“Only your attention, dear. Where were you just now? I had to call your name three times. You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

Everyone noticed he had been off. Especially when he first got back. He had a hard time focusing on anything. Now three months later, he wasn’t much better, though he wasn’t as bad. No matter what he did, he could not stop thinking about her. She had infiltrated his psyche, taken up residence and refused to leave. 

He tried his damnedest to make her a memory. He slept with plenty of women when he got back. He thought maybe he could bang her out of his head. That only made things worse. 

It wasn’t good like it was with her. They didn’t make him laugh, like he laughed with her. They didn’t smell like her. They didn’t fit under his arm like her. They weren’t clever like her. 

That was the problem...They just weren’t her.

And no one he had met or would ever meet would measure up to Katrine. 

Shit! I need therapy or a lobotomy!

“Ellenor, was there something you needed?” he said, ignoring her last comment.

“Yes, Xander. Your conference call with the Philadelphia office has been rescheduled for tomorrow, same time. Also your father wants you to meet him at the club after work. Something about meeting the partners of the new firm he is thinking of using.”

“And?”

“That is all for now… Xander, you aren’t doing very well. I may not be young anymore, but I remember what it was like to be in love. But you dear, seem a bit love sick if I may say so. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Thank you Ellenor, but I will be alright. I’m just waiting for the old me to kick back in.”

“Do you really want the old you back?”

“Well, yes and no. Yes, if it makes this pain in my chest go away. But no, I guess I can’t ever go back.”

“First love can be like that. You just experienced it a little later than most. And I don’t blame you, she is quite remarkable.”

“How did you know it was her?”

“I had a feeling.” 

 “I imagine you noticed the change after I got back. I know everyone thinks I have lost my edge and my mind. They may be right. How can I make it go away. I’ve tried everything!”

“Ellenor, I really fucked this one up.”

She let his expletive slide, she knew he was upset. “Have you tried calling her, dear? Maybe you have given her enough time to give you a second chance, or maybe if you had her forgiveness, you could move on.” 

“Why do you assume that I am the one who needs forgiving? Oh right, you’ve known me my whole life.”

She gave him a loving smile. “You will think of something. You are one of the smartest and most resourceful men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Not to mention you have one of the biggest hearts. Oh, I know you try to hide that part from everyone. But you haven’t fooled me, and I imagine she wasn’t fooled either. I know you will be alright.”

“Thanks Ellenor, it feels good to talk about it, to talk about her.”

“My pleasure. Anytime you need me, dear.”

 It was times like these he really missed his mom. She would know what to do. But he had a feeling if his mom were still alive, he wouldn’t have grown up to be the emotional disaster he had become. He turned back around to face the window.

Here, in his office, he could think about her, daydream about her, be with her if only in his mind. He smiled thinking about the first time he had really noticed her legs. It was after that first week and she had put on that knock-out of a dress. It was short, black, and one shouldered. Wow. He had said something mildly insulting and she said something sassy, then she got off the elevator. She had walked away like she wanted him to watch.  

She was so beautiful. 

Even more than her beauty, he loved her spirit. She always had a come back, especially when he was being a real ass. Which was most of the time the first few weeks of their acquaintance. She was also kind and loving. Her witticisms and her optimistic outlook on life. She was trustworthy and honest. The way she loved her family and her friends. The look she got on her face when she talked about something she was passionate about. The way she would sing at her desk when she thought no one was paying attention. All the little things that added up to make her the most amazing woman he had ever met.

Then why did you ruin it? Why did you fuck it all up? 

He beat him self up at least a hundred times a day. 

When his old “friend” showed up he hesitated, but then a notion formed in his mind. Maybe if he slept with this woman, the intensity of his feelings for Katrine would lessen, subside even. He could say all of the scotch played a part and clouded his judgement, but that would just be a cop out. He wasn’t comfortable with how he felt about her. It made him feel out of control and he liked to stay in control, at all times and in every instance.

It was an asinine notion. He regretted it immediately, even during. He had felt disgusted and ashamed. He knew then that she was the only one he wanted to be with. He would have made her leave that night, if he hadn’t passed out…

 And the rest is history...

Now, here he was, three months later, still licking his wounds and still regretting his decision, with every bone in his body. 

Xander knew she was working for Hal now. Thanks to the acquisition, Hal’s company was now under the AG umbrella. That gave Xander the perfect opportunity to keep tabs on her, subtly. He just wanted to know how she was doing. It made him feel connected to her somehow. 

He knew she wasn’t seeing anyone, from what he could gather. That gave him a little peace of mind. But a woman like her wouldn’t be single for long. The line was probably already forming. That Ian jerk off, was probably at the front of the line. 

What would he do when she started dating someone? He would probably lose what was left of his mind. The thought of never seeing her again terrified him. But the thought of seeing her again terrified him even more. Case and point, he was royally screwed.

He reached into his desk and pulled out a photo. It was one he had taken of Katrine with his phone. He had taken several pictures of her during their time together, but this was his favorite. She was laying on his bed with his Yale shirt on and no pants. Her tan legs were sticking out of the bottom. Her head was thrown back because she was laughing at something. And for the life of him he couldn’t remember what she had found so funny. This shot of her, in a fit of uninhibited laughter, captured her essence as well as a photo could. 

He lightly stroked her face with his fingers. He wanted to kiss her again and be inside of her again. Hear her voice and smell her skin again.

“Damn it! Stop thinking about her every second!” he screamed at himself. “What the hell is wrong with me? Get it together Abbot, for Christ’s sake!” 

“Oh great. That’s just perfect…” 

He shook his head in disgust as tears filled his eyes for what seemed the millionth time.

Katrine had changed his life. She
had
helped him grow up. As bad as he still hurt, he would always be grateful for meeting her. He accepted his pain…that was his penance. There was nothing to be done about it now. Too much time had passed and his pride wouldn’t let him try. 

Deep down he knew that he didn’t deserve a second chance, that he didn’t deserve her. But that didn’t change the fact that he was still in love with her, and he had the unsettling feeling that he always would be….

The End

Soundtrack

1.Weird Fishes/Arpeggi- Radiohead   (
First Run)

2. No Money- Kings of Leon    (
On the way to girls night ou
t,1
^st
week)

3. Only Girl(In the World)-Rihanna    (
Dancing with the girl
s)

4. Nocturne No. 1 in B Flat-Fredric Chopin  (
Unwind after hard week
)

5. Without You- Eddie Vedder (
Curious Xander at her desk
)

6. Nessun Dorma- Luciano Pavarotti from Giacomo Puccini’s Turandot (
Dinner at Xander’s house
)

7. England- The National

8. Asturias- Isaac Albéniz (Summer in Spain)

9. Oboe Concierto in A Minor- Antonio Vivaldi (
4
^th
of July
)

10. Anniversary of an Unimportant Event- Deftones (
After concert
)

11. Poison and Wine- The Civil Wars (
Aftermath
)

12. Glorious- Muse   (
Final Run
)

13. Three Little Birds- Bob Marley and the Whalers (
End on a good note)

   
Acknowledgments

I’m not sure what possessed me to start writing a book. My 6 yr daughter was home from school for the summer and I had a 13 month old son to chase. This was not a good time to start a huge project. But there I was embarking on this crazy journey, not knowing what I was doing or what the end result would be. But, this story would not let go. Every time I would go out for a run or get in my car these characters would pop up in my head. One liners would make me laugh and it almost took on a life of it’s own. My husband said, “why don’t you just write it down”. So I grabbed my daughter’s Tinker Bell Notebook and cupcake pencil (seriously, I still have both of them) and started to write. As soon as I put pencil to paper and sat in front of my computer, it just spilled out onto the page. I don’t know where it came from and didn’t know I was even capable of such a thing. This process has been both rewarding and exasperating in equal measure. But I am changed for the better because of it. I’m grateful for the quiet solitude I found in the suburbs of Atlanta where I lived when Katrine came to life. My lack of a social life became a blessing, the trees an inspiration. I found myself in Georgia, and the experience will forever hold a special place in my heart. 

I decided to put this book out on my own because I was discovering more and more authors I admired had done the same. Some have gone on the big publishers and some have stayed indie. Also my inability to write a query letter that I thought did my book justice had a hand in it as well. I found the whole aspect of the agent hunt more than frustrating. I ultimately liked the thought of putting out whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. It definitely appealed to the control freak in me. As I write this, I know my journey is just beginning and that there is much more work to be done. But I welcome the challenge full-heartedly.

I would like to thank my editors Ali Bothwell Mancini and  Clarence “Cito” Haynes. I enjoyed getting to know you guys. You seemed to enjoy my story and that was a great feeling. Thanks for all of your help and advice. You both are very cool people.

I would also like to say a special thanks to my beta readers and dear friends Mandi R. and Misti. You had to read my first drafts that were chalk full of errors and run on sentences. I am sure they were horrible. I hounded you guys to read and re-read. Still you gave great advice and cheered me on every step of the way. You gave me support and encouragement. Even talked me off the ledge a few times. 

Misti, thank you for your love and support in all things. You had more faith and love for this story than even me at times. You have been my rock throughout this entire process and for that I will be eternally grateful. Love ya, sis. 

To my big sister Lisa, I admire you in so many ways. Your love of life and exuberance,  your ‘I can tackle anything, bring it on’ attitude.You are braver then I will ever be. You are one tough broad and I wouldn’t want it any other way.  I love you so much and I’m glad to have someone like you in my corner.  Love to my brolo and my two precious English roses.

A sweet thanks to my grandma Millie, a far better yarn spinner and joke teller than I. Your generosity of spirit and love of life have been an inspiration to me. You’ve been through things that would make most people crumble, but not you. You handle everything with a good attitude and a smile. I love you so very much. The world is a better place with you in it. I know you’re ready, but I’m not. 

To my small inner circle who love me just the way I am and support me, ugly cry and all. You fill my life with laughter and fun. You mean the world to me. Thanks girls.

Stef and Mandy thank you for twenty years of love and friendship. We have always lived in different places, but that has never lessened our bond. Love you.

A special thanks to my Georgia bud Deb Mason, for reading my book early on and for your support during the beginning stages of the book.

Shout out to my book club. You are a great group of ladies. The book nazi loves you!

Thank you Andrea Allen for your marketing, web site, and social media expertise. You totally understood what a daunting task I had in front of me and offered advice and labor. Much love to you girl!