Rebound: Passion Book 2 (19 page)

I
pulled out of the garage just as she came running, calling out for me. I didn’t
even look at her as I drove off. I needed to get as far the fuck away from her
as possible. I was so mad that I couldn’t even hold a thought. Anger and hurt
were the only two things I could hold onto. I wanted to smash my fists into
something or someone. I tried to think rationally about what had happened, how
our day had been so drastically derailed. I remembered the day before when we
were laughing and loving. How I’d looked at her beautiful face while she was
laughing at something silly the douche had done to make the girls laugh. The
feeling of accomplishment I got that she had come so far since we’d found each
other.

Now
this. A complete three sixty. I drove through town trying to calm down trying
to make sense of her words, her accusation. But all I felt was anger that she
could even think such a thing. I think beneath it all I was more upset at her
for putting herself in harm’s way than anything else. In my heart of hearts I
knew she hadn’t betrayed me with him, but her words were a betrayal, not
something that I could easily overlook. As much as I had come to love this girl
there was no way I could accept her painting me with the same brush as that
asshole. Not after the shit I’d been learning about him.

I
had no idea what I was going to do with this shit. I kept hearing Josh telling
me to stay cool but overriding his warning were her ugly words. It didn’t
matter that she’d tried to take them back, that shit was weak. Of all the
things she could’ve said to me that was the worst and I wasn’t sure I could
forgive her.

My phone
rang off the hook but I didn’t answer. I knew when it was her because I had
chosen a special ringtone for her and I knew when it was Josh. I found myself
at the beach where I’d first accepted that she was mine that she would be mine
forever. I felt that same jump in my heart as I had that day, the same strong
emotion that had captured me there on that boardwalk.

There was
a battle going on inside me, the love I held for her and the new bitterness I
was beginning to feel.

 
Hours later as the sun was going down and my
body reminded me that I hadn’t eaten all day I headed back to the house. I’d
turned my phone off hours ago so I had no idea what I was going to find when I
got there. I avoided my family who were all sitting around the kitchen table
looking worried.

She
was in our room when I got there sitting in the middle of the bed rocking back
and forth. I could see tear tracks on her face as she looked at me with her sad
eyes. I stood back against the wall and watched her not saying anything. My gut
was in knots because I knew what I had to do but I sure the fuck didn’t want
to. If she really saw me that way there was only one thing I could really do. I
didn’t want her or anyone else thinking of me that way, but I didn’t want to do
it in anger. Most importantly I didn’t want her feeling trapped, it would kill
me, fucking gut me for sure. But love was a weird thing it made you see things
differently. Yes I wanted her more than anything else in this world, but if she
saw me as a monster I had to let her go, because in the end all I wanted was
her happiness. I prayed for the strength to do this even as I fought against
the decision in my mind, still not understanding how we’d come to this.

“Get
your stuff I’m taking you home.”

“No Matthew wait I said I was
sorry please.” She came off the bed and tried to touch me but I shrugged her
off.

“What you said was fucking
despicable Kadyn, I don’t think anyone has ever cut me that deep before and
I’ll be fucked if it ever happens again. If you think my looking out for you is
the same as stalking you then that’s no good. I’ve tried to be good to you and
for you but obviously I’ve just been kidding myself. Like you said you don’t
need another asshole in your life so…”

“Matthew
I shouldn’t have said that but don’t you think that you’re blowing this whole
thing out of proportion?”

“Are
you fucking insane? You called me a fucking monster you compared me to a
fucking pedophile who tormented you for four fucking years so no I’m not
overreacting.” I wanted to shake the shit out of her for fucking up our lives,
for saying that foul shit to me and for everything that she was taking away
from me. My anger burned hot and furious, the hours I’d spent away hadn’t done
shit because I was still pissed. My head was going in ten different directions
at once and my heart had already exploded in my chest.

“I said
I didn’t mean it…”

“You
don’t get to say that shit to me, you said it you meant it now let’s go.” I
almost threw the fuck up just saying those words. I had flashes of a life
without her and they almost brought me to my knees, but I couldn’t see beyond
the anger and the hurt. Maybe I was right all along maybe I am destined to be
fucked when it came to women. I knew one thing for sure I was never doing this
shit again, no fucking way. But how could I let her go? How could I just walk
away from her, who was going to look out for her when I’m gone? I didn’t want
anyone else taking care of her, holding her, loving her; I couldn’t bare the
thought. But what was I supposed to do? There was a battle going on inside me
as she stood there watching me, then out of nowhere she pounced.

“You’re
not breaking up with me over this Matthew Steele.” What the fuck? She actually
pushed me back against the wall, I was too shocked to react at first and that
gave her leeway to carry on with what she had to say.

“I’m
sorry that I said those things but they were coming from a place of anger. I’d
just been attacked by someone I thought was a friend and to have my boyfriend
practically accuse me of cheating on him was the last straw. I didn’t come
looking for you Matthew, you came after me remember? I didn’t want to put
myself out there but you pushed and pushed and now here we are.”

Each
word was punctuated by a poke to my chest and tears, she was also shaking like
a leaf and her words were not too steady. I got the feeling she was trying
really hard to be brave and even as pissed as I was at her I was proud as fuck
that she had the balls to stand up to me. I fought back a smile as she spat at
me in her fury. I’d never heard her cuss before but when she started telling me
what she would do to my manhood if I left her I couldn’t hold back the laughter
anymore. And just like that it was over, the anger, the hurt and truth be told,
the fear. Looks like Kitten and I had just had our first major fight and we’d
won. There was still the question of whether or not I could let her get away
with saying that rancid shit to me though.

“You
think you’re tough little girl?” even I knew my voice held no real heat, no
wonder she threw herself against me and hid her face in my chest. I’m such a
chump that I held her while she sniffled. When she’d caught herself I pulled
her head back by fisting her hair and looked into her eyes. “I don’t want you
near that guy again. Is this all he did?” I ran my finger over the bruise under
her eye.

“Yeah,
he tried locking me in his room and when I bit him he struck me and I ran. I
hid outside and called Carrie, sorry, I didn’t call you. That’s when he came
out and slashed my tires. I don’t know what came over him, why he acted that
way. I’ve never given him any idea that I was interested in him in that way. We
hadn’t seen each other in years…”

“Where
were his parents and his brother while this was going on?”

“They
were there but they didn’t do anything I don’t know why.” Maybe because they know
their son is an abusive asshole. I didn’t say it out loud but I was thinking I
should’ve broken his fucking arm at the very least.

“If
you ever find yourself in that kind of situation again you call me, no one else
me, do you understand?” She nodded yes and gave into the shakes and tears. “Ssh
it’s okay come ‘ere.” I held her as tight as I could without squeezing the
breath out of her amazed that we’d gotten through this crisis intact. For a
minute there I had seriously given thought to sending her home, I’m not sure
that I could’ve broken things off with her but the anger was enough that I was
willing to separate us for a few days. Now I was worried that that might’ve
sent the wrong message. Fuck it’s like walking a minefield not knowing what was
the right thing to do in every situation. Because of my past and hers there
were certain things I never wanted to have to navigate, not this soon anyway. I
had barely relearned trust in another human being and I’m sure she had some
issues there too. I had fashioned myself as sort of a security blanket for her
and yet I had been ready to send her away.

Why
the fuck was I feeling guilty about this shit?
she’s
the one who’d fucked up all around. First by going to that dick’s house and
then by calling me a stalker. Okay she didn’t exactly call me that shit but it
was close enough. “Did mom take care of your eye?” she nodded as I turned her
towards the bed to sit, I was suddenly very drained from the day’s fuckery and
also from coming close to disrupting my life again.

“Kadyn
let’s get a few things straight okay. I’ll forgive you this time but if you
ever say anything like that to me again I’m not going to be this understanding.
That was a low disgusting blow baby, and before we even go any farther right
now I think you should know that I’m going to be the same guy where you’re
concerned always. So if you think my actions constitute stalking then you
should probably walk now because I’m always gonna want to know where you are
and where you’re going.

I’m
going to gripe at you about wearing certain things and about who the fuck you
talk to because that’s just who the fuck I am. If you can’t deal…no fuck that
just learn to fucking deal with it. If that scares you I’m sorry, it’s not
meant to but you yourself should know better than anyone how dangerous it is
out there and how fucked up human beings can be. When you’re out of my fucking
sight you bet your ass I’m going to be calling you to find out where and who.
I’ll try not to be too annoying but I don’t really give a fuck about that
either. In all the time you’ve been here how many times have you seen Carrie go
off somewhere by herself?” I let her think until the realization dawned on her
that she’d never seen that shit.

“Your
situation is going to be ten times worst you know why? Carrie’s shit was a
one-night thing, that guy was out to harm anyone it didn’t matter who. The
asshole who’s been after you has been for a long time, not that he’s ever
getting near your ass again, I’m not saying that; but I’m always going to be
cautious when it comes to your safety. Are we clear on this, you need to get
pen and paper and write this shit down for future reference?”

“No I’ve
got it, it’s pretty much what Josh told me earlier.”

“When did you and Joshua talk?”

“When you
tore out the house and wouldn’t answer your calls. I thought he was going to
kill me when I told him what I’d said to you but after he calmed down he
explained some things about why you reacted the way you did. He was also the
one who told me that you might try to send me away and that I shouldn’t let
you. Did Carrie really almost die the last time they broke up?
that’s
awful.” Here she slapped me in the chest. “And you
were going to do that to me?”

“Hey,
I didn’t teach you how to fight so you could make me black and blue. So my
brother gave you pointers on how to stand up to me huh. There’s loyalty for
ya.” She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, a very un-Kadyn-like move,
and I kissed her hair happy that it was over. I didn’t feel the sickness in the
pit of my stomach that had been with me all day as I drew her in and sniffed
her, taking in her scent. It wasn’t quite there yet but I knew how to fix that.
“Is your face hurting? Shit I didn’t even stop to think if you needed a doctor
sorry about that.”

“It’s
okay your dad had a look when he came home earlier it’s fine. Whatever your mom
and the girls did before he got here took most of the swelling down but I don’t
think there’s much that can be done about the coloring. Oh and one more thing,
please don’t tell my dad about any of this. I don’t want him getting into
trouble, all day I’ve been expecting to hear sirens coming down the driveway
but your mom said she doubted Dan would call the cops after what he did.”

“Don’t
say his name babe just let it go, as for not telling your dad I’ll have to
think about that this shit happened on his watch after all. Maybe I need to
give him a heads up so he knows what to look out for if that asshole comes
around again.”

“He won’t I promise, just please
don’t say anything, dad might go over there and who knows what might happen.”

“It’s his
job to protect his daughter Kadyn that’s what the fuck he’s supposed to do, go
over there and knock the ever living shit out of that piece a shit.”

“Okay
Matthew just calm down.” She petted me like I was a wild animal about to break
my leash. I kissed her bruise softly and pulled her in for a hug. I missed her,
I only just realized how much I’d missed her while I was away from her, when I
thought we were gonna have to take a break from each other. “I love you.” In
that moment I knew that there would never be a time when I’d let us be apart no
matter what. “He didn’t hurt you anywhere else you’re sure?”

“No I’m
fine just a little pissed at myself but I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“Oh
really, what do you want to do?” I was already lifting her top over her head
being careful not to touch her face. As soon as her breasts came into view,
spilling out over the top of her bra I swooped in for a taste. I almost came
close to losing this, to walking away. It would never have worked, I know that
now, a man can’t live without his heart can he? When she wrapped herself around
me I felt everything in me settle, and all the dread of the day just fell away.
It was our first hurdle and we’d leapt over it and more than that she was fine,
in fact she was better than fine, she’d stood her ground and showed no fear.
More than any apology that showed me that she trusted me. It’s more than I
could ask for.