Reckless (34 page)

He smiles, “What’s that?”

“I bought some new things for the trip, some things I think you are really going to like.”

“Really?” Sean raises his eyebrows as I smile even bigger. “I can’t wait to see them,” he winks at me.

We arrive tired but happily when we see the beautiful old cottage restored perfectly. My design of the old place was rough but a few visits here with Kyle gave me enough information to create what was needed and still hold true to the original design that we loved so much. It was our home that helped pay our small firm’s way for awhile, so it is even more pleasing to see it done spectacularly. I wondered why Kyle seemed so silent before I left, he being the last one to see it completed. With every step towards our home, I become more excited. It is gorgeous, welcoming and posses a charm like no other. Our first night we acclimate the boys and Lillah to the new surroundings. The boys easier than Lillah, they chase the geese instantly upon seeing them and other wildlife, announcing their presence to all. Sean and I sit out on the porch watching the boys run wildly, as Lillah fall asleep in my arms with Sean’s arm stretched out around us protectively. The first night is easy, calm and with no expectations. It is the next day I feel the pressure.

I watched Lillah play all day, chasing birds and laughing at the boys chasing the geese. This was our time together and it is my job to make sure she is too tired to interrupt us tonight. Sean is spending most of the day out golfing with some of our new local friends while I spend the day preparing for our night alone. As nervous as I am, I am even more anxious for it to begin. Dinner is on the table, candles light up the room and my soft white dress hugs my body gently enough for me to feel comfortable. I look down at the boys after reviewing my setup one final time. “So what do you think? Over the top or just right?” Barely moving from their lounge positions they both give me an acknowledging cock of the head. “Yeah, right. It really doesn’t matter does it?” The sound of Sean pulling in makes my heart skip a beat.
Just breathe
. I rapidly search the room for the right place to be when he enters.
How ridiculous, I don’t know where to be, how to be, how could I have not considered that?
Like a fool I choose to hide as if I am suppose to jump out and yell
surprise
at my own husband for no damn good reason. Hovering around the corner and embarrassed by my own stupidity, I wait for him - hoping, praying tonight will go smoothly.
I hear him enter the house and make his way into the dining area, pausing silently for longer than I would have expected. I walk from around the corner and his eyes find me instantly. “Surprise?”
Ugh - idiot.

Sean laughs and my nervousness intensifies as he reviews my appearance. “What’s this?” he asked.

I shrug, “I thought we would have a night alone together.”

“Lillah in bed already?” He asks with an emerging smile.

“Yes, she has been playing very hard today.”

Hiding his wide smile, Sean nods, “So what’s for dinner, beautiful?”

I smile rushing over to uncover the massive preparation, “What do you think?” I said excited about sitting down with him finally and having all the pre-drama out of the way. It must look somewhat inviting because the kiss I receive from him causes my legs to go weak.

We talk through dinner without effort. His smile lighting up everything I want to feel. As dinner comes to a close I begin to feel the tension within me again, watching him lick his lips and eyeing me from the edge of his wine glass.
This is what I wanted. It’s going to be perfect, it has to be perfect.

Sean sits watching me walk around him to pick things up off the table. He reaches over playing with the bottom edge of my dress between his fingers, his lips full and wet from his tongue. I focus on him as he pulls away and gazes over me, “Thank you for dinner, it was wonderful.” Our eyes connect with an exhaling breath. “I will start a fire while you’re cleaning up,” I nod. “Don’t be too long,” he winks before leaving the room.

I walk seductively to greet him but forget my wine and have to run back to retrieve it before entering the room at a gingerly pace and somewhat out of breath already. Sean has the fire going in the fireplace and seems just as anxious as he lounges on the sofa. I smile as he calls me over to him. Sitting in his lap, I curl into his welcoming arms as he takes my glass and places it nearby. My heart begins to pound and I can feel his doing the same. I watch him carefully, waiting for his eyes to meet mine and when they do, I melt. Feeling his lips and his hands caress me is all that I have been wanting. I return his affection, meeting his lips one for one and his tongue lingers with each matching touch. My legs shift and I sink deeper to his side as he grips my face and my body, breathing heavily into my mouth. All of him, his hands, his mouth, it all feels so good against my skin. His hand glides slowly up my bare leg, under my dress and to my …
every day wear.
This is supposed to be perfect and not every day, I pull away from him.

“Sean wait!”

“Why, what’s wrong?”

“I need a minute,” he exhales closing his eyes as he releases me. “No, I promise I only need a minute.”

He helps me up but doesn’t look at me, “Okay.” I look back once as I rush to get my perfect lingerie on for him. His sinking posture is defeating but I smile knowing he is going to be even happier once he sees what I have for him. I rush to get my clothes off but before I can get my outfit on I hear him leave. I look out the window watching him in the rain with his coat on and walking towards his car. I throw my dress back on and with my fancy lingerie in hand I hastily run through the house and out the door.

“Sean!” He stops, not facing me. “Where are you going?” I yell confused by his actions.

“I thought I would give you time,” he yells back.

“But I said I only need a minute.”

“Yeah well, I assume that means you’re not ready at all. So before I hurt you again I’m going to go get a drink somewhere else.”

“Don’t you fucking leave me!” I scream at him.

“Ava - what do you want from me? I can’t sit here and look at you and not want you. All I want to do is …”

“That’s what I want too.”

He turns around, “Oh really? Then why did you stop me?” I stare at him in silence. “That’s what I thought. You know what Ava you really need to get some help. I can’t take this anymore. I love you but this is getting to the point of … well I am worried about you. You need to get some help, some real help because whatever you’re doing now isn’t working.”

I scream and his stance stiffens, angering me even more. “You stupid ass,” I cried as he stares at me. “I was changing into something better for you.” Still he is silent. “Sean, I was trying to make it perfect for you.” His stubborn resistance makes me crazy so I throw my fancy lingerie at him just missing his face as he catches it.

He looks up at me furious “What the hell are you doing?” He yelled.

“I wanted to make it perfect for you, so I went to change into that. Into something sexy …
for you
.” I cried as I push my rain drenched hair from my face.

Sean looks down at his hand with the lingerie. “This is what you were doing?” I nod. “Why? You were perfect the way you were.”

“I wanted it to be better.”

He sighs, “I’m sorry, I thought …”

“I know what you thought and thank you for giving up on me.”

“I didn’t give up on you, Ava.”

“You sure as hell did, walking away and saying what you said.”

“Ava, I didn’t understand and I was angry.” He glances over me as the rain continues to soak through to my skin. “Let’s go inside it’s cold and you’re soaked.”

“No,” I said strongly.

“Ava your dress,” he holds out his hand to me. “Your dress is completely see through now, and you have nothing on underneath.”

“What do you care, you were leaving remember?” I look up at him and his eyes focus in on my body. I look down at the drenched white dress pasted to my body, showing everything. Before I can find him again I feel his hands on me. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding onto him and meeting his heated eyes silently. Unzipping his pants I feel for his erection, causing him to grunt in shock. “It feels like you want me pretty bad. If that’s true - then show me,” I said stroking him while his strong eyes seduce my every being.

He shakes his head slightly, “It’s cold and raining, you need to …”

“I want you now Sean, I want to feel you inside of me … right now.” I press my lips to his ear and breath, “You always said it was good in the rain, prove it.” He groans as his hands glide down my dress, gripping the edges and sliding it up my body before massaging my bare ass deliberately. I moan as he takes me in his arms and holds me up against the wall, lifting my legs and ripping my dress half off. His erection meets my center hard and wanting, feeling the hardness press into me so tight that I have to call out to him. His sweet kiss caresses my lips and revives my desires. “I want more Sean, don’t stop, I want to feel all of you.

One big thrust and my head falls back, “Is this what you wanted?” Sean asked me forcefully, controlling my body with his wide palmed hands.

“Yes,” I said forcing my breaths.

“Do you know how sexy you are right now? This thin dress clinging to your naked body, showing me everything I have been wanting. You didn’t need anything else.” I feel his words against my ear, making me even crazier. I am shivering in the cold rain, making his warmth that much more welcoming. I can’t get enough of him. “Do you want to keep this up? Shivering and fucking in the cold rain? Or do you want to go in and do this right?” I can’t speak, as I shake uncontrollably feeling a mixture of extreme pleasure and intense steel cold pain. “You’re freezing Ava, I’m taking you inside,” Sean pulls out of me and takes my hand, escorting me in front of the warm fire. I watch the water drip down his face as he tries to warm me with a towel and a blanket. I push them both away, push off my rain soaked dress and stand naked and wet in front of him, daring him to make a move. Within seconds, he rips off his clothes, being sure not to take his eyes off me for more than a second. He kneels in front of me, gripping my body as he kisses his way up one side to the other, tasting and feeling his way to control. Wonderfully powerless, I get down holding the back of his head and sucking on his bottom lip, pulling him down on top of me. He follows willingly, sucking off the remaining droplets of water off my skin. His strong hands hold me in his desired position, pulling my legs up around his waist, while he thrusts deep inside me again causing us both to gasp. Words cannot express the raw seduction between us. Both of us searching for every last droplet of water glistening on our bodies. My hands trace his muscles along his back with pressure - up and down to his rounded ass, squeezing him deeper inside of me. The pleasure intensifies each time causing my back to arch and pushing my hips into him even more. The harmony of our bodies move gracefully with our heated breaths echoing in the room around us. Enticing his lips back to mine, I feel the overwhelming bliss rush through my veins from my center to the tips of my toes, moaning the whole way. Sean groans watching me writhe underneath him. His control only sustains until after I release, I am weak and heavy when his force becomes focused. I watch the fire cast our shadows against the wall, dancing with our every move, his every move, with every last push of desire from him until he surrenders in my arms. Sean groans in my ear causing my smile to increase with each vocal release. He wanted the control and I never considered attempting to change his mind. One final exhale and I watch his green eyes smile at me, bright and beautiful, kissing me with a rich appreciation. When the fire goes out, we sprint to our room and he goes straight to bed, and I go to the bathroom to brush out my wet mangled hair. I look down at the drawer as I put my brush back and see my birth control.
Oh, I forgot.
I pick up the case to take the pill I forgot to take this morning and hesitate putting it in my mouth. I stare at it with overwhelming feelings.

“What are you doing?” Sean asked wrapping his arms around me as he looks over my shoulder. “Oh,” he sighed. “Back on the pill, huh? I guess I didn’t think about it.”

“With all the things I wanted to do today I forgot to take it this morning.”

“So are you going to take it now?”

“I don’t know, I’m scared not to,” I said watching his reflection in the mirror, wanting his support and hoping he’s where I am.

“About what beautiful?” His reflection serious and concentrated.

“What if it happens again? I don’t know I could handle …”

“It’s not going to happen again Ava.”

“How do you know?” I asked gazing into his secure eyes.

“It’s not going to happen again. I promise you.” I close my eyes sinking deeper into his arms. “I promise it will be different next time sweetheart but it’s your decision, I will support you either way.” I open my eyes to see his strength and confidence pushing me to make the decision I want to. Holding my hand over the sink we lock eyes as I let go of the pill and turn on the water. Sean holds out his hand and I hand him the rest, watching his smile form at the corners of his mouth. And with a flip of his wrist, he flings the remainder into the trash and picks me up and carries me to
our
soft, warm and oh so welcoming bed.