Reckless (9 page)

“I hope you are regretting it. You keep your distance from that … “ She tensed, shaking her head before looking at me again. “Sean, be careful.” I nod, defeated. Once she seems somewhat satisfied, I sprint away and quickly gather my daughter before ushering Rebecca out the door.
I could swear I am forgetting something.

“Daddy where the boys?”Lillah shrugs at me as if I am an idiot.

I kiss Lillah on the head, “Thanks sweetie.” I run back into grab the boys and load them into the back of the SUV before speeding off towards home, relief washing over me instantly.

“Oh Sean, could you stop at that store real quick?” Rebecca asked, pointing to the convenient mart on the corner.

“Why?”

“Because I need to get a few things.” Irritated I pull over and motion for her to go. “Thank you,” she said happily.

“No problem,” I sighed.

I look at my watch, then toward the doors of the store willing Rebecca to hurry the
hell
up. When I hear a rumbling vibration, I take out my phone but quickly realize it isn’t mine.
Surely Ava didn’t leave hers in the car.
I reach down under the passenger seat and pull out a phone, but it isn’t Ava’s. I start to put it back when I take notice of the incoming text and recognize the name immediately. A slimy reporter that loves to capitalize on celebrity mishaps and tragedies or anything he can get his hands on to exploit them. I hesitate for a second before pushing the button to read the text.

“I would be very interested in a video of Sean Grant and his wife. The clearer the more money I would be willing to pay. Call me as soon as you can and we can meet up to review the video and discuss.”

My body tenses and I start to shake. “Rebecca…” I seethe, while searching her phone for videos. When I come to one labeled Sean and Ava, I shake my head, hesitating to view it. I glance back at Lillah playing quietly in her car seat and push play. As soon as I see Ava naked and riding me, I am ready to choke the hell out of somebody.
I knew I saw somebody last night. That bitch, that fucking bitch! And she was going to fucking sell it!
I clear her entire phone before taking out the memory card and sticking it in Rebecca’s diet soda and then driving over her phone several times. I recover the mangled mess and lay it in the passenger seat beside me, breathing deeply as I glance at my daughter’s innocent face in the rearview mirror. Rebecca skips out of the store while I hold tight to the steering wheel, denying myself the pleasure of running over her with the car. She opens the door, spotting her mangled phone right away.“You got a text while you were gone. I guess you are going to get a great offer on your video,” I fist the steering wheel as she eases into the seat next to me, leaning against her door as much she can. She starts to open her mouth. “We’ll talk about it after I get Lillah home.” I said through my teeth.

“But...” Rebecca tries to say.

“I said, not now.” She turns away from me, sitting in silence the whole way home. I park the car and let the boys out before getting Lillah out of her seat and taking her inside. Rebecca foolishly follows. I ask our housekeeper to watch Lillah for a few minutes and I kiss my daughter, reminding myself that jail will be a bad thing for her to visit me in. I leave her room, forcing my footsteps to remain calm. Grabbing Rebecca harshly by the arm, I drag her to the other end of the house and shut the door. I look at Rebecca as she rubs her arm pitifully. “Talk, Rebecca. Talk before I call the police and have you arrested!” Her eyes focus on me in shock. I cringe. “Rebecca!”

“Okay, yes. I watched you two last night and then I got the idea to record it. I don’t know why at first. Curiosity I suppose, and a little drunk too.” She said as tears start flowing out of her eyes.

“Why?” I asked, shaking my hands in front of her.

“Why?”

“Why would you do that?” I yell. “Why would you sell it?”

She cowers from me, “I haven’t yet.”

“Yet?” I yelled.

“I mean, yes, I was thinking about it, it’s a lot of money Sean.”

“That’s why? For the money?”

She sighs, “No, not really.”

“Then why?”

“Umm ... I guess I wanted to get even with you,” she looks up at me sorrowfully and I roll my eyes.

“Why, Rebecca?”

“You left!”

“You cheated on me. Or don’t you remember fucking my best friend in our bed?” I said sarcastically as my voice grows louder.

“I know that, and that’s not when I meant. I meant when you left to go to California to do that movie. You left me in New York, all alone.”

I narrow my eyes at her, “Are you fucking kidding me? You’re mad at me for going to work ... years ago?”

“You rarely called me and I really needed you then.”

“Rebecca this is … I don’t know what. Childish and stupid. You seriously need to grow the fuck up.”

“Grow up?” She yelled back at me.

I get right back in her face. “Yes. You act like a fucking child all the time with your temper tantrums. I was sick of it then and I am not about to put up with it now.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t have been so upset all the time if I hadn’t been pregnant with your child!” She yells in my face. “If I hadn’t had to abort your child by myself!” I step away from her in shock.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I said, starring into her lying face.

She calms some and digs into her purse, pulling out a folded up piece of paper. “This is what I am talking about,” she said, handing it to me.

I read the clinics name and then Rebecca’s name, stating who the patient was getting the abortion and the time and date of the abortion. Then off to one side, was marked if known, who is the father, and there it said … Grant. I look up at her, “This was while I was in California, Rebecca.”

“I know, I wanted to tell you before you left but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to ruin your opportunity by making you stay to help me.” She starts crying, as I stand dumbfounded. “I was all alone and felt horrible all the time and so completely lost and I needed you. For you to tell me it was going to be okay.” She looks up at me, crying hysterically. “The worst part …” she drops into a chair doubling over. “The worst part is the abortion was botched somehow, so now I will I never get a chance to get pregnant again.” She cries even harder and I stare at her horrified.

“Rebecca…” I stumble, searching for words.

“I’m sorry Sean. I saw you two so happy and I hated you in that instance. I hated you for making me go through that on my own and I blamed you for taking something from me that I can never get back.”

“You didn’t say anything Rebecca, how was I supposed to know?”

“You weren’t listening to me anyway, remember?”

“Probably not, but I would have listened to that, I’m sure.”

“I wasn’t even sure if you were coming back.”

I pace the room searching, for what I am not sure.

“I am sorry Sean and if it helps any, I would have never actually gone through with selling it. I never made the copy I was asked to do and I only contacted the one guy and that was last night when I was still drunk. By this morning, I was regretting it all. Can you forgive me?”

I look at her tearful eyes and seemingly sincere, apologetic face feeling guilt like I have never felt before.

Ava

The house is silent. Peaceful, when I arrive late from work. I shouldn’t be surprised, but it is still unsettling. With a deep breath, I cautiously walk through the house practicing my innocent expression. I finally find Sean lying in our bed and looking suspicious himself, relieving me of my guarded composure. “You look as if something is on your mind.”

“It’s been a long day, is all.” he said, forcing a smile.

With a soft sigh, I assume his issues. “I can understand why, considering what I have heard.”

“And whom did you hear it from?” He asks, with his piercing eyes flashing.

“First, there was your mother. Then Abbey followed right after, telling me for the second time what happened today with Rebecca.” He nods, leaning back further into the pillows that he positioned perfectly behind himself. When his expression turns somber, I crawl into bed and try to reassure him. “So, tell me how I can get your smile back?”

He manages a weak smile. “You already did,” he said, welcoming me into his arms. “I love you.”

“And I love you.” I said.

Cradling me in his arms, he tightens suddenly. “I love you so much, Ava,” he whimpered.

“Sean? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Sorry, I’m overly tired and I was worried about you being out so late is all.”

“If it’s something your mother said, I can talk to her and …”

“No baby, it’s alright. I think today brought up some bad memories, which are making me that much more grateful for the life I have now.”

“Are you sure?” I ask as he traces his fingers along the edges of my face.

Nodding, he smiles sweetly at me. “Promise me you won’t ever lie to me?” He asked, holding my eyes with his.

“Sean?” I said trembling.

He immediately shakes his head as tears well up in my eyes. “I’m sorry, forget it.” Kissing the side of my head, he twists my body around him as I try to fight my own tears. With all my fears coming to the surface at once, I can’t hold them back. I fist his shirt, fighting the tears from falling any further.
What if he finds out? I don’t know how I will ever begin to explain why I kept it from him.

I have started working from home every other day, so I can spend more time with my daughter. Today is one of those days.
My once true love of architecture is slowly fading into the background behind my family.
“Okay Lillah, are you ready to go outside and play?” I asked my rosy-cheeked daughter.

She nods anxiously. “Yeah.”

“Okay, let’s go.” I said, picking her up and grabbing her arm floats on our way out the door. The pool is warm and feels incredible. I ease Lillah in as she squeals and giggles. “Watch Mommy, Lillah.” I move down under the water, just enough to get my mouth under and blow bubbles. I come back up to her overly excited wiggling, “You ready to try?” She nods. “One … two … three…” I help her gently under the water and then back up again. “Good job, Lillah.” I said, clapping along with her.

“If you need to learn how to swim, Ava, you can watch me.” I turn to see Rebecca setting up her lounge area by the pool, sporting pieces of fabric that barely cover key parts of her.

“Thank you, but I think I got it down. I am trying to teach my daughter now.”

“How sweet.” Rebecca said, lying back in the chair without ever glancing my way. Ignoring the Bitch to my side, I continue with Lillah. “Ava!” Rebecca screamed.

I pop up out of the water. “What’s wrong?”

“Your … dogs.” she shakes her hands at them with a sour face. “They’re everywhere! Do they need to be out here?”

I narrow my eyes at her as the boys try to get Rebecca to throw their ball for them. “Are they bothering you?” I asked.

“Yes, they are. They stink and are constantly bringing me that disgusting thing. Can you do something with them? Put them into a cage or something?”

I smile happily at the boys. “No, and if you so much as breathe harshly at my dogs, I will put you into a cage.” Rebecca huffs at me while I go back to ignoring her.

Rebecca slams back into her chair, managing to ignore the boys after all. However, the nice silent treatment she is sending my way doesn’t last long.

“I like your bikini Ava.” Rebecca called out to me.

“Thank you.” I respond warily.

“I didn’t know they sold bikinis that -
big
. You must have found a great mommy store.” Rebecca giggles to herself.

“Well, I prefer not to dress like a whore in front of my daughter.”

Rebecca instantly sits up. “Are you saying I look like a whore?”

“No, I said I prefer not to dress like one.”

“Sean!” I heard her yell. I look up to see Sean walking towards us after arriving home. Rebecca runs to him and jumps all over him, rather like a distressed dog. “Sean, what do you think of my swimsuit?” she said while modeling her suit in exaggerated poses.

“I guess it’s fine, Rebecca.” Sean said, pulling her off to one side before approaching the edge of the pool and kneeling down to wait for Lillah and me. “How’s my girls?”

“We are doing well with our swimming today.” I said.

“Really? Can you show me, Lillah?” He asked. Lillah nods excitedly, almost jumping out of my arms into the water. We show him everything we worked on, earning applause from Sean. Lillah claps sweetly along with him, proud of her own work.

“Are you home for lunch,” I asked him.

“Yes, is that okay?”

I lift Lillah to him as he holds out her towel to wrap her in. “Very much so.” I said, walking out of the pool and watching Sean’s eyes light up. “You like my new tassels?” I asked him with a wink.