Reckless (Renegades #1) (22 page)

“Fuck me.”

That was just what he was doing by starting this. He was asking to get fucked again. Maybe he was more like Veronica than he was like Lexi after all, because he certainly wasn’t learning from his mistakes.

He jerked out his work phone again, checked his calendar, and called Russ back. After finagling with him for ten minutes and promising the man another five days of his life, Jax hung up and tapped into his messages.

Then created a new one to Lexi.

Seventeen

Lexi closed the lid of her computer and wandered to the other side of the loft and her bed, pulling off her shirt as she walked. She was exhausted. The mental stress was killing her. The crazy hours were draining her. Instead of feeling invigorated by her business as she had for so many years, she felt sucked dry. Like it aged her a year every month.

This wasn’t what she wanted. But she also knew she had to go through the rough spots to get to the good stuff. And she hadn’t decided whether this partnership with Galliano was one of the rough spots or a black hole. She’d fallen into some of those along the way too.

Already in bare feet, she tugged off her jeans, untangled her hair from the ponytail holder, and rummaged through her drawer for Jax’s T-shirt. She’d brought it home from New York and had been sleeping in it ever since.

Her phone vibrated against her desk, signaling a text message.

Lexi glanced toward it and sighed. Rubi, sending her some follow-up inspirational note or shooting her an idea, she was sure. Rubi was such a good friend. Lexi was lucky to have her.

She dragged her sorry self to the desk, picked up the phone, and returned to her bed, where she fell into it with a groan. She lifted the phone to read her message.

A hot burst of shock slammed her stomach. Lexi gasped and sat up, holding the phone with both hands, scanning the message again and again, trying to convince herself she was mistaken.

But she wasn’t. The message was from Jax.

Jax
.

“Oh shit,” she murmured.

JAX: Hey, Lexi. Hope I’m not bothering you. I’ll be heading to New York next week. Would love to see you if you happened to be in town.

“Oh my
God
.”

She put a hand to her chest, bit her lip, and scraped it between her teeth. Her heart beat hard and erratic. She couldn’t believe it. Jesus, she couldn’t freaking
breathe
.

Okay, this was fate. Just like he’d said in New York. It had to be.

She hit REPLY. The message box opened, and the cursor blinked inside.

Lexi’s mind went as blank as the box. What did she say? How did she say it? Why had he texted her? After all this time? What did it mean?

She closed her eyes. “Stop,” she commanded herself. “Just stop.”

Pulling in air, she texted slowly, writing and rewriting the message, suddenly tongue-tied, if there was such a thing in texting.

LEXI: Hearing from you is never a bother. And, amazingly, I will be in New York next week. Are you staying at Spencer’s? What are your dates?

She finally got sick of trying to read every possible misrepresentation the message might present, and with her lip between her teeth, hit SEND.

Then she sat there, holding the phone in both hands like it was made of jewels, her stomach somersaulting as she waited for a return text.

When it came, she still wasn’t ready. The vibration startled her, and she dropped the damn thing.

Laughing like an idiot, she scooped it up and read.

JAX: That’s amazing. I’m doing a few more scenes on the same movie. I’ll be there Tuesday through Sunday. I couldn’t get in at Spencer’s this time. I’m at the Four Seasons. What do you think?

“No,” she drew out the word in a whine. “I think I’m screwed.” Her stomach dropped and burned with something far more intense than disappointment.

She set the phone down, pulled out her file drawer, and clawed through her receipts for the travel information. Spread it out on her drawing table. Her phone vibrated, and she startled. She closed her eyes for a second. Then read his message.

JAX: That good, huh?

LEXI: Looking at my schedule now. Trying to figure something out. It’s not pretty. You’re in New York the days I’m in London.

JAX: Why are you going to London?

LEXI: Fabric-and-fashion expo.

He didn’t text back, and anxiety rose in her chest as if she had a limited time to accept the offer before it disappeared. As if she would never get the offer again if she couldn’t figure out a way to accept. Worse, that she’d explode if she missed him by a few days.

“Dammit.” She dropped her head into her hands. “Okay, how can I do this?” She was moving dates and appointments around in her head like a puzzle, and they were falling together about as easily as a Rubik’s Cube.

Lexi’s phone chimed, signaling an incoming call.

“Shit. Not now, Rubi,” she muttered and picked it up. “Hey, Rubi, can I call you back? I’m trying to work on something—“

“Lexi?” Jax’s voice took her by surprise. She sucked air and froze, unable to find words. “It’s Jax. I, um…hope it’s okay to call.” He suddenly sounded guilty, like he thought he might have interrupted something. “I just thought it might be easier to figure out our schedules if we could talk them over together.”

“I… I mean, of course. It’s fine.” She put a hand to her stomach, as if that would settle it. “I’m sorry. Rubi was here a little while ago, and I thought— Never mind. I’m just looking at my… Oh, I guess I already said that.”

Jax laughed, the sound soft, deep, and smooth. Lexi’s body flashed hot with memories of those sure fingers sliding over her skin, his hot tongue behind her ear. The luscious, bone-deep craving she suffered whenever she thought of him created a heaviness between her thighs, and Lexi had to sit down before her legs went out.

“You sound like I feel,” he said. “I’ve been sitting on the side of the road for fifteen minutes working up the nerve to text you.”

All her muscles relaxed. She dropped her head into her hand. “Jesus, it’s great to hear your voice.”

“You just made my week, baby.” His voice felt like a purr in her ear. “Let’s work out these schedules so you can hear it in person. Though…” His voice deepened with suggestion. “I
am
sitting in my truck just off the intersection of Highways 110 and 5. At this time of night, I could be just about anywhere in the county within twenty minutes. All I need is an address, and we can spend all night looking at the fine points of these schedules…in the flesh.”

Desire drilled through her body, making it difficult to think. On the fringes of her mind, his situation registered. “You’re…on the side of the freeway?” She fought to clear her head. “Are you okay? Do you need…help…or something?”

“If I said yes…” He hesitated. “Would you come to me?”

Something about the way he said
come to me
made Lexi’s blood bubble. Still, the question hit her wrong and cooled the growing heat. Not because he’d asked, but because he had to ask.

“If you needed something, you could always call me. I’m sorry…” Her throat squeezed with regret.

Jax waited a beat. “You’re sorry…for what?”

“That I’ve created a situation between us that made you feel like you even have to ask.”

But even through her frustration, his location sank in. He was awfully close to her studio, and she couldn’t help but wonder if that was sheer chance. One glance at Google would have told him everything he wanted to know about her career. About who she was. What she looked like. She’d thought about researching him at least a hundred times but hadn’t. Had wondered if he’d done the same.

“Jax…?”

“Lexi,” he answered, his voice smoky.

Her mind and body warred—her brain suspicious, her body needy. She couldn’t just forget about the men in her past who’d been difficult to shake. At the time, she couldn’t have imagined any of them acting so immature or insecure. If she just put those instances out of her mind and believed it wouldn’t happen again, she’d find herself right back in that hot seat.

She forced air into her lungs. “What are you doing at the intersection of 110 and 5 at this time of night in the middle of the week?”

“I was dropping a friend at home, stopped to talk on my phone, got the job in New York and…thought of you.” He paused. His voice came quieter. “I must be close. You sound nervous.”

She closed her eyes. Oh God, that voice. He could be caressing her through the phone. She replayed the sexy words he’d said to her that night.

“Tell me what you want, Lexi.”

“I’ll do anything.”

“You feel so good, baby.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Jax whispered, pushing her toward the edge. “I’ll speed.”

Lexi dropped her head back to look at the ceiling and swore.

“If you’re not with anyone,” Jax asked, his voice growing contemplative, “and we both know how good it is between us… Tell me again why you’re resisting this pull.”

Her stomach seemed to float, giving her a giddy queasy sensation. “The truth is nothing’s very clear anymore.”

A moment of silence hung before he murmured, “God, I miss you, Lexi.”

The underlying vulnerability in his voice ripped her open.

“I know that sounds crazy,” he went on, “considering how little time we spent together, but… I can’t stop thinking about you, and knowing I can’t see you again…it’s just…”

“Hard,” she finished. “I know. I miss you too.”

He breathed out, heavy and sharp, like the wind had been knocked out of him. “Baby…”

The almost-groan rippled over the connection and prickled Lexi’s skin. She grasped at her last strands of safety.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Even if Lexi could push all the image issues aside, even if she could forget about the partnership, her long hours and dedication to the business had always caused major problems in her previous relationships. And she certainly couldn’t cut back. Not now. “This is a critical time for me. The shop demands more of me than there is to give. I just…don’t have anything left.”

“I understand what it takes to run a business on your own. And I’m a big boy, Lex. Let me worry about me. If you want me, take me. I’m offering.”

“Christ.” Lexi ran a hand over her face, caught her finger between her teeth.

“Just meet me, Lexi,” he said, that imploring rasp in his voice that made it impossible to say no. “Just talk to me, face-to-face. At least give me a face to go with my fantasies.”

She grimaced with the certainty this would not end well. “Do you know where The Recovery Room is?”

“On Sunset?”

“Y-yes.”
Fuck, what am I doing?
“I’ll meet you there.”

Another breath whooshed out on his end of the line. “Wh—? O-okay. When?”

“Now. Before I change my mind.”

“I’m there.” In the background, an engine turned over. “Or I will be—fifteen minutes. Maybe ten. But, Lex, how will I know—?”

“I’ll find you,” she said and disconnected.

Jax couldn’t ever remember being this nervous. Couldn’t ever remember being this edgy. Not on his first date. Not during his first time having sex. Not on his first movie shoot. Not even on his most dangerous stunt.

He’d finished his second beer and ordered a third, just to have one sitting in front of him when—if—Lexi showed up. He’d been at The Recovery Room over thirty minutes and had already been hit on twice, been asked for an autograph once, and almost gotten into a fistfight with a guy over holding the stool next to him open.

A popular local band played on a stage in the back room, filling the bar with edgy music carrying a heavy base. The singer had a great voice, and his songs were filled with sexual lyrics. None of which helped the thick heat of blood pumping through Jax’s veins.

The front door opened again, and he glanced over his shoulder from his seat, rubbing one damp palm down the thigh of his jeans. Two couples entered and drifted toward the only open table, closer to the music in the back. The door continued to open and close, customers continued to flow in and out of the busy club, but no Lexi.

Jax was caught between worried, angry, and disappointed. He spun his phone on the bar, switching gears from melting the ice between them when she got here to how he wanted to handle her no-show. He propped his elbows on the wood, ran both hands through his hair with the worst ache in his gut he could remember. Worse even than when Veronica had betrayed him and taken hundreds of thousands of dollars from his company and his guys.

After being chased by starlets, hounded by paparazzi, and dogged by talk shows and tabloids, Jax had to admit Lexi’s disinterest in seeing him based on his appearance had been a nearly lethal stab to his ego. But what really nagged at him—more than all the rest combined—was how Lexi’s conviction to keep him out of her pristine “real” world brought up all his mother’s ugly echoes—the disapproval and disappointment. The unfavorable comparisons to his brothers. The label of black sheep.