Reckless (Renegades #1) (30 page)

Jax shook Stan’s hand, kissed Claudia on the cheek, and broke from the group.

Panic prickled her skin. She didn’t want him to leave, which didn’t make any sense. He turned toward the bar, spoke with the bartender a moment. Lexi couldn’t let him leave with this wedge between them.

She pulled one packet of ibuprofen and one packet of acetaminophen from her clutch and approached him at the bar. He’d only had two drinks—the champagne and one glass of Connor’s scotch. She’d been watching him. So when he turned glazed eyes on her, she knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” he said. “I’m sorry for coming here, baby. Stupid. Don’t worry, I’m going home.”

She wanted to touch him. Kiss him. “You look like you could use these.”

She slid the meds toward him. His eyes lowered to the packages and his mouth turned in a smile. The bartender set a bottle of water on the bar in front of Jax. He thanked the man and lifted his gaze to Lexi. “Baby,” he said, relief sliding through his voice as he reached for the meds. “If I were an investment banker, I’d kiss you right now.”

She frowned as he opened the meds and swallowed them with the water. “If you were an investment banker, I wouldn’t want you to kiss me. At all.”

He set the water on the bar and met her eyes. “You are so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at you. Good thing I love what’s on the inside too, or…” He made a cutting motion over his throat.

He seemed…drunk. Then another thought occurred to her. “Jax, have you taken something tonight?”

His eyes narrowed, then a slow, brittle smile turned his mouth. “Like…drugs?”

She didn’t want to accuse him, but… “You’re not right.”

“But you wouldn’t really know, would you?” He turned away from the bar, picked up the water, and walked away.

She deserved the cut. It hurt, and she took it, but she didn’t let him go. He exited the mansion’s front doors, skipped down the curved marble staircase with the help of the banister, and started down a long, tree-lined flagstone path toward a side parking lot.

Lexi paused at the edge of the patio. The path was lit only by tiny white lights where the flagstone met the grass, one side lined by one of the mansion’s high stone patio walls.

“Jax?”

He didn’t answer. Didn’t stop.

Lexi glanced around, pulled off her heels, and started down the path. “Jax, wait.”

A few yards ahead, Jax’s silhouette stopped. His head tipped back with the bottle of water at his mouth. By the time he stopped drinking, Lexi had caught up and heard him crinkle the bottle in his hand.

“Don’t worry, babe,” he said, his voice low and hopeless in the dark. “I’m not going to out you.”

“I don’t care.” She heard the words, but it almost seemed as if they’d come from someone else. “I mean I do, but…I don’t want to. I care about you. I just…it’s complicated. Can you give me some time, Jax? This is…terrifying.”

He didn’t answer, but he didn’t walk away. Lexi moved closer. He was barely visible in the dark, and it brought back memories—and nerves—of their first night together.

“I missed you,” she said, reaching for his arm and sliding her hand down to close her fingers around his. “And I’m stressed. And I wasn’t prepared for this. But I…”

His hand closed around hers in the dark, the sensation so reassuring, the same way he’d been that first night. Every moment they’d been together since. Emotion swelled in her chest. Tears burned her eyes.

“There’s no accounting for who you love, right?”

“I love you, Jax.” The words didn’t come out right. They sounded plastic. Fake. “But it’s happening so fast, and I’m confused. I’ve been living so long one way—”

He pulled on her hand, drawing her close. His other arm wrapped around her waist. “What?”

“I don’t…” Why did she feel like she was dangling over a ledge? “I don’t want to lose you because I’m resistant to—”

“Not that.”

His hand found her face, felt along her temple, her cheek, until he found her jaw, then drew her up. His mouth covered hers, and Lexi whimpered, kissing him back, seeking his tongue. He tasted her for one long moment, then broke abruptly.

“The other part,” he said.

She knew what he meant, and the warm sensations flowed through her. “I love you. I know there’s a lot I don’t know, but I can guess. And all that matters to me is that I love who you are now.”

“Lexi…” Her name was more of a groan than a word before his mouth closed over hers again. And so much emotion filled his kiss, Lexi could taste it. She was too short without her shoes on and stretched against his body to get more of his mouth, more of everything.

The hard ridge of him rubbing her low belly made her crazy, and she stroked him through his jeans.

“Lexi…baby…” He pulled her hand away.

She kissed his jaw, his throat, pulled at the buttons of his shirt. Jax might have been holding the hand that had been stroking him, but now he was rubbing his erection along her hip bone.

“Lexi, you make me insane.”

She whimpered against his neck. “Please…”

On a growl, he picked her up by the waist and carried her toward the rock wall. Behind each large tree, the wall curved into an alcove of smooth sandstone. More marble floored the area, housing a piece of ornate pottery filled with plants.

He pressed her back to the cold stone, kissed her deeply as his hands ran up the backs of her thighs, raised her dress.

“Christ, Lex…” His hands roamed over the garters, her silk panties, gripped her ass. “That’s so hot.”

“I need you.” Lexi opened his jeans, found his cock, and took him into her hands with a groan.

“Shh,” he murmured against her lips. “Grab my wallet, baby.”

She found a condom quickly, ripped it, rolled it on his hot length. It was one of the studded condoms, and the rubber nubs nipped at her fingers.Jax lifted her while she was still fitting it. Pressed two fingers inside her pussy from behind with a growled, “Move your hands.”

Lexi had barely lifted them to his chest when Jax guided himself halfway into her, pressed his mouth to her neck, and muffled a deep groan of pleasure.

He filled her, stretched her, the extra friction from the condom raking fire along her walls.

“Jax, Jax, Jax—” She was so ready she rose to climax before he’d fully penetrated her. “Oh God—”

Jax’s hand closed over her mouth, and his hips plunged just as the orgasm peaked. Her muscles squeezed. She arched against the cool limestone. Jax thrust, thrust, thrust, never stopping.

When her cries dimmed to moans, he exchanged his hand for his mouth and kissed her as if he were starving. “Lexi…feel so good…missed you…crave you…love you…so much…”

He drove into her, pulling her hips to meet his, fingers digging into her flesh. He felt so good. Filling her. Completing her. Feeding her craving. She hooked an arm around his neck, pressed one hand to the wall, and lifted into each thrust. His pelvis hammered her clit on every drive, his cock so deep she felt the orgasm build until her throat tightened with the thrill of it.

“Oh shit…” was all he got out before he broke, his thrusts coming fast and so hard and wild he pumped another orgasm from her. She completely lost herself in the intensity of sensation for long, long moments. Moments filled with Jax holding her tight, moving inside her, cool air washing her skin.

Perfection. Ecstasy. Bliss.

Jax collapsed, crushing Lexi against the wall. She didn’t care. All she could feel was pleasure spiraling through her body.

She wasn’t sure how he did it, but Jax lowered to his knees while staying inside her. She wanted to loll in the beauty of it, keep her head against his shoulder, kiss his jaw, but Jax was all business.

“Gotta get you cleaned up,” he panted, leaning away and smoothing her hair as if that would help. “God, I shouldn’t have done this.”

“Jax…”

He pulled out of her, groaned as he removed the condom, then buried it in the nearby planter. Before he’d even zipped his pants, Jax was straightening her clothes.

“Shit.” He bit out the word, more to himself than to her. “What the hell is wrong with me?”

Panic slid in and burned Lexi’s chest. Her I-love-you confession was probably just sinking in, and he was freaking out.

“Jax, it’s fine—”

“It’s
not
fine. This is your work. This is your career. I told you days ago I’d never do anything to take it away, and what am I doing? Fucking you in some dark corner with the goddamned world on the other side of this wall.”

She pulled his face to hers and stopped his mouth with a kiss.

He groaned, then kissed her back, sighing into her mouth. “God, I love you.”

The words burned across the surface of Lexi’s heart. She pulled back and pressed her hand to his lips. “You don’t have to say that.”

He shook her off. “I want to say it. I mean it, which is why I shouldn’t be doing this with you.”

Lexi’s heart felt as if it turned over in her chest.

Jax straightened his own clothes, wrapped his arms around Lexi, and pulled her up against his body hard, as if he were afraid she’d disappear.

She was just relaxing into him when he swore and his left arm loosened.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just hurt my arm yesterday. It’s sore.”

God, how had he done what he’d just done with an injured arm?

“I’ll walk you back.” He put his right arm around her waist, but let his left hang limp by his side.

Bad feelings trickled into her gut. “I want to see your arm before you leave.”

He stopped her as soon as they reached the light and turned her to face him. With his right hand, he smoothed her hair, leaned down to tug at the hem of her dress. Glanced around the quiet gardens.

“No one’s here. No one will know we were together.”

His concern for her reputation made her stomach hurt. But she was more immediately concerned about his arm. She took the left wrist of his jacket but didn’t pull. “Take your arm out and let me see it, or you’re not leaving.”

He tried to pull it from the sleeve, but pain ripped across his face.

“Jax?” Fear speared her belly. She lifted the left shoulder and pushed back that side of his jacket. Something dark stained his shirtsleeve. “Oh God. Are you bleeding?”

“It’s just a cut from the rocks yesterday—”

“Goddammit, Jax. If you can’t get out of this jacket, I’m going to take scissors to it.” Panic bubbled up in her belly. “
Let me see your arm
.”

When he tried and failed again, she moved behind him and grabbed the collar. “Roll your shoulders back.”

As he did, he growled in pain from behind clenched teeth. The jacket slid down his arms. And his left shirtsleeve was covered in blood.

Jax lay back on the gurney in the ER, staring at the ceiling. God, he’d done this a lot. Only he’d never had anyone holding his hand or smoothing his hair back from his face before. Even his nanny hadn’t done that.

He’d tried to convince Lexi to stay at the wedding. Tried to get her to go home when there was an hour wait at the ER. They’d even gotten into an argument over it. Jax had given up when she’d threatened to stitch him up herself.

The nurse had already numbed the laceration, and without the pain, Jax was feeling pretty good by the time the metallic curtains slid back and Doctor Pete Hale walked in.

“Nice to see you again, Jax.”

Lexi now knew Jax’s first name was Bentley. Knew his last name was Chamberlin. She’d reacted stronger to the fact that he didn’t have health insurance than to his name. She’d already decided that not only did he need health insurance, but all his employees needed health insurance, and how could he
not
have health insurance with a job this dangerous?

Just thinking about how she worried made him smile.

“Hey, Doc,” he said.

Pete held his hand out to Lexi. “Pete Hale.”

“Lexi,” she said, shaking his hand.

He peered down at the cut. “Nicely done. And you missed the tattoo. Keeping us in business, I see.”

“Just doing my part.”

“Upgraded your chaperone too.” Pete grinned at Lexi. “Now my nurses are all huffy. Nobody’s fighting over you tonight, bud.”

Lexi laughed.

“Don’t flirt with my girl, Doc. I still have one good arm.”

“That’s your job, Lexi,” Pete said. “Keep him from slugging me, and I’ll get this fixed up.”

Jax turned his head and searched out Lexi’s gorgeous face. She smiled at him, combed her fingers through his hair. He knew for a fact in that moment, he never wanted to lose her.

“Why didn’t you get this looked at yesterday?” Pete asked. “You know better than that.”

“Would have delayed my flight. I needed to get home to my new chaperone.”

“Ah.” Pete’s grin widened. “Enough said.”

“Baby,” Jax told Lexi, “you don’t have to stay for this.”

“I’m fine. Stitched up my brother’s split knee when I was nine.”

Pete’s hand froze with the needle in the air. His gaze darted to Lexi.

“I’m good with a needle, my mom wasn’t much of a mom, and I didn’t have the money or means to get him to a hospital.” She said it simply, the same way Jax had made the offhand comment about his father and scouting. She glanced up at Pete as he started to stitch. “Jax is still pale and dizzy. How long will that last?”