Reckless Rescue (22 page)

The words felt false. She didn’t really believe that next time would be any better for her friend. But what else could she say? Hope was all any of them had.

Jaimma sniffled and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe her nose. “Well, trying harder is always fun I guess,” she said. Her voice didn’t match her words, but Marlee didn’t comment on it. Jaimma gave her a hug, and Marlee helped her to her feet.

“Thanks, Mar,” Jaimma said.

“Any time. If you need to chat, you know where I am.”

Jaimma smiled, even though tears still glistened in her eyes. “I wouldn’t want to be a third wheel. I heard all about your display in the village hall the other night.” She winked.

Marlee felt her face heat, remembering Tyris’s kiss. Jaimma giggled. Marlee was too happy to hear her friend laugh to be upset though. “I bet everyone heard about it.”

Jaimma grinned. “Oh yeah. And anyone who hadn’t, I made it my business to tell. Nobody expected
you
would be the one shocking all the elders.”

Marlee’s face grew even hotter. “Jaimma!”

Her friend’s expression softened. “I’m glad you’re happy, Marlee. You deserve it. And I hope that it pays off. I can’t wait to see you with a huge belly.” Her voice broke on the last word.

Marlee stepped towards her to give her another hug and to hide her own tears. “I reckon you’re going to have that big belly before me,” she said, her voice catching in her throat.

“I hope we get to do it together,” Jaimma said. She gave Marlee one more squeeze then stepped back. “I’d better go home and tell Jaidin.” She sniffed.

Marlee watched her walk off, her good mood from earlier quickly evaporating. Who was she kidding? She wasn’t going to have a baby, even with Tyris. And without a baby, she’d be alone again in eighteen months.

It wasn’t worth it. Better to keep her distance and just enjoy being Tyris’s friend. It would make it easier to move on when the time came.

She headed home, looking forward to seeing Tyris, though she tried to deny it. But when she stepped in the door, she couldn’t see him anywhere. “Tyris?” she called out as she put the milk on the table.

But there was no answer. It took her only a few moments to search the house, but Tyris wasn’t anywhere to be found.

*****

T
YRIS SHIVERED AS HE KNOCKED
on Karla’s door. The snowstorm had blown itself out, and the sky was clear and blue. It only served to make things colder. He stared at the closed door. What was he doing here? He nearly turned around and went home, but just at that moment, the door opened.

Karla let him in without questions, not saying anything until he was sitting by the fire with a cup of tea in his hands. “What can I do for you, Tyris?”

Tyris blushed. He had rehearsed the best way to ask his questions on the way over here, but now all the carefully planned phrases deserted him. “Um, I was wondering if… well…”

Karla correctly interpreted his mumbles. “You want to know how long it will take you to be affected by the anysogen.”

“Yes,” Tyris admitted.

“Well, it’s hard to say for sure. I don’t have access to any of the fancy medical equipment they have on the Colonies, and the effects of anysogen infertility were only just beginning to be studied when we left Semala. However, based on the fact that it took three to four years for the couples who came here to show signs of infertility, my guess is you have about that long.”

Tyris breathed a sigh of relief. Longer than he thought. If he’d known the answer would be so positive, he’d have asked earlier. A couple of years gave him plenty of time to weigh up his options.

That wasn’t all he wanted to know though. “What about Marlee?” he asked.

“That’s a little more complicated,” Karla admitted. “The short answer though, is that she has a higher chance with you.”

Tyris frowned. “But why? She’s had three partners already, if she still isn’t pregnant, is it likely she ever will be?” He wanted to believe it was possible, but it seemed so unlikely.

“They could all have been infertile themselves,” Karla pointed out. “None of the three have had children with anyone else either. The truth though, is that it’s not that simple. While the anysogen seems to have rendered some people completely infertile, that’s not the case with everyone.”

“It isn’t?” Tyris raised an eyebrow. “How can someone be partly infertile?”

“Quite easily actually. Radiation, for example, damages sperm or eggs, but not all of them. It may take longer to conceive, but it isn’t impossible.”

“Why all the fuss about changing partners then?” Tyris asked. “If time is the issue, why not just give couples more time?”

“Anysogen infertility isn’t caused by radiation,” Karla said. “We discovered, before the asteroid hit Semala, that when the gas is breathed in it seems to have an effect, not on the sperm or egg, but on the mucus they’re surrounded by. This fluid is designed to enhance conception in normal people, but exposure to anysogen seems to make it inhospitable.”

Tyris’s brow furrowed in a frown. “I still don’t understand,” he said. He should have paid more attention in biology class. “What does this have to do with changing partners?”

“I’m still not completely sure, but what we’ve observed is that some pairings seem to have little trouble producing offspring, while others are unable to, even if both adults have produced offspring in other parings. It seems to have something to do with compatibility on some chemical level.”

He definitely should have paid more attention in biology. But how could he have known it would be so important? “How did you work all this out?” Tyris asked. “The generation of people who born here on the planet are only just hitting the age to have children.”

“Humans are not the only animals on this planet struggling with conception, nor the only ones we desperately need to reproduce,” Karla said wryly. “We brought only female animals with us on the voyage and artificially inseminated them on arrival to produce our first generation. Like the humans, they had no trouble with fertility in the first few years, but then they were affected as well. When natural methods began to fail, we tried artificial insemination again. We had little success, until we began inseminating the females with the sperm from many different males. This increased their chances of conceiving.”

“So why not just mix it up?” he asked, “and do it artificially for humans too?” It would hardly be any less ethical than what they were doing now.

“We considered it,” Karla admitted. “But inbreeding is a real concern. With such a low gene pool, we’ll have the problem eventually of course, but at least with the current method we can record the bloodlines and reduce it to some extent.”

This was all a little over his head. “So what does all this mean for Marlee and me?” he asked. “If she’s affected, then won’t our chance of having a baby be lowered anyway, regardless of my own fertility?”

Karla nodded. “Lowered, yes, but since only one side is affected, they are still higher than they will be with anyone else.”

“So what sort of chance are we looking at in the eighteen months we’ve been allotted? Is it really likely?” He watched Karla’s expression carefully, looking for any signs that she knew of the councils plans to cut their time. But if she knew, she didn’t show it. He hoped he hadn’t given too much away, coming here and asking so many questions.

“It is hard to put a number on it,” she said. “Nothing is certain in this life, but if you don’t try, you’ll never know, will you?”

Was that a throw away comment, or had she heard something? “Karla, do you still hold to the medical code of confidentially, or has that been dispensed with here on Zerris, like practically everything else?”

Karla stared at him until he began to feel a bit uncomfortable. “Of course. Anything you say to me doesn’t go outside these walls.”

Still, he hesitated. He wanted to ask if she could safely remove his contraceptive chip, but the minute he did, she would know about it. And no matter what she said, he wasn’t sure if he could trust her with his secret.

“Thanks Karla. You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.” He handed her back the empty teacup, and stood up.

Karla saw him out, and he walked home slowly, barely noticing the cold, his mind too busy sifting through all the information Karla had given him. Theoretically, he had time to make a decision. He shouldn’t have any fertility problems for several years at least. But his time with Marlee was limited. He already knew that.

And according to Karla, Marlee’s best chance at ever having a baby was with him. And for any of it to be possible at all, he would have to remove his contraceptive chip.

The thought sent a shiver through him. If he returned to Urslat without it, he could be court-marshalled. He thought he’d accepted the fact that he wasn’t ever going home, but the thought of removing the chip illegally made him feel almost as queasy as putting it in had.

He opened the door to the house, and Marlee jumped out of the chair near the fire. “Where were you?”

A reasonable question since he hadn’t gone out without her before. But it bothered him. He didn’t stop to examine why. “Out,” he said shortly.

Marlee stared at him for a moment, eyes wide. Then she jerked her head in a nod. “Okay.”

“What, you aren’t going to prod me for more answers?” Her simple acceptance deflated his animosity. He’d been expecting an argument. Perhaps he’d been looking for one.

Marlee shrugged. “If you wanted to tell me, you would have. You’re entitled to your own business. Just because we’re living in the same house doesn’t mean I have the right to know everything you do.”

What did she think he’d been up to? He couldn’t even begin to imagine. He wanted to shout back that she had no right to know everything he did. The impulse surprised him enough that he stopped to examine it before speaking.

He was looking for a reason to argue with her. Because if he argued with her, then maybe she’d reconsider wanting to be with him and he wouldn’t have to consider removing the chip.

Except she wouldn’t argue with him. And he didn’t really want to argue with her.

He sighed. “I was talking to Karla,” he admitted.

“About what?” Marlee stood, more than an arm’s length in front of him, her arms folded.

“I wanted to know how long it would be before my fertility was affected by being here,” he admitted. It was easier to talk to Marlee than Karla.

“In case you want to try for a baby with someone else after the council splits us up?” Marlee’s face was blank. He couldn’t tell if she was upset by the idea or simply making a statement.

Not knowing made his admission harder, but he said it anyway. “No, wondering how long I had if we changed our minds.”

He paused, searching for words, emboldened by the fact that she hadn’t uttered any word of protest. “I never imagined having children, but somehow, when faced with the prospect of losing that choice, it’s not so easy to give it up.” His words echoed the thoughts he had when he first found out about the chip, but they were just as applicable now, perhaps more so. The chip could be removed. Infertility from anysogen exposure was permanent.

He continued, before he lost his nerve. “According to Karla, I have several years to make that decision, but...” Saying that he couldn’t imagine having children with anyone else but her seemed a little too bold.

“But I don’t have that long,” Marlee finished for him.

“Well, nothing is going to change for you in that time. But Karla said your chances are better with me than anyone else, and well...” When had he become so inarticulate?

Marlee stared at him for a few moments then turned away. “It’s very sweet of you to want to know what my chances are.”

Tyris stepped towards her and put a hand on her shoulder. “Marlee, I know this wasn’t what you planned. But it seems wrong for you to miss out on this chance if it’s what you want.” His voice wavered.

“I thought you didn’t want to be involved with the council’s plans?” She wouldn’t look at him.

It had been so long since he’d made that statement, he’d almost forgotten it. But Marlee obviously hadn’t. Was that what was holding her back?

“This isn’t about the council’s plans, Marlee. This is about you, about us and what we want.” He struggled to find the words, to explain properly something he didn’t even really understand himself. “If you want a baby, for you, not because of the council, then you should have one.” His throat closed up. He wanted to add that if she wanted him, regardless of wanting a baby, then she could have that too. But he couldn’t force the words out.

Marlee turned and hugged him so quickly he didn’t get a chance to see the expression on her face. He soaked in her closeness, buried his face in her hair and inhaled her fresh scent. The fears about removing his chip faded to only a murmur in the back of his mind.

Then she released him and stepped back, her face withdrawn. “My chances may be better, but I’m sorry, Tyris, it isn’t enough. I’ve fooled myself before with the thought that I might get lucky and fall pregnant, and it would be easy to fool myself again. But in eighteen months, the story would be the same. You’d have to leave.”

He wasn’t prepared for her words to cut to his heart. When she said he’d have to leave, he almost felt like she was telling him to now. He remembered Milandra walking out. Even that hadn’t hurt as much as this thought did. “I wouldn’t leave,” he said roughly.

Marlee smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s not that simple, Tyris.”

“How are they going to make me?” Tyris demanded. “Drag me away?”

“They don’t have to. You’ve seen what it’s like out here. We couldn’t survive without the support of the council and everyone else here. What if you were hurt? What if I was? How could we manage without Karla’s help? How would we grow food or survive through the winter? If everyone doesn’t work together, we die.”

“So we just ignore this? Pretend that we aren’t feeling this way about each other?” The idea seemed stupid. He could no more ignore the way he felt about Marlee than he could ignore the pangs of hunger or the chill of the cold wind.