Reckoning (34 page)

“
I’ll be just as quiet,” I retorted.

“
It won’t matter,” he said calmly, taking hold of my shoulders, and attempting to direct my gaze towards him. “They will already know you are there.”

The realization came at once, causing me to close my eyes against the truth. “My radar…They’ll sense my radar.”

“
Yes,” he said, gently, knowing how challenging this rejection was for me.

“
I don’t have a choice…” I mumbled.

Immediately, I was frightened for Eran, feeling somehow that if I weren’t there with him than he wouldn’t be safe. Yet, I knew what he said was true. My presence would put him in even greater danger.

“
I suggest we get some sleep. We leave tomorrow night,” he said without turning to face the others, keeping a watchful eye on me.

When the room had cleared, he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me as if sheltering me from any possible jeopardy.

“
I’d like to spend the night with my wife,” he whispered in my ear.

As much as it hurt to say it, I did. “You need your rest.” I couldn’t live with myself if I kept him up, sapping him of energy when he would need it more than ever before.

“
Then lay with me.”

From that point forward, time moved too quickly. And for the first time…ever…I did not sleep that night.

Unable to waste a second on something as inane as sleep, I spent the time awake, alert, and listening to the steady rhythm of Eran’s breathing. My hand caressed his arms, feeling the texture of his skin and the strength of his muscles beneath them. I watched him at times in the dim light filtering through the window. His face was stunning even when obscured by shadows.

This man was my entire life. He gave me strength, rejuvenated me when I needed it, guided me to safety even as I fought him on it. He made me feel invincible.

As I lay there beside him, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest I knew one thing with absolute clarity…I couldn’t imagine a life without him.

But that was just what I felt threatened by. Somehow, that nagging feeling had returned telling me to be prepared. In fact, it lingered there, just below the surface like a shark circling its prey, all the way through to morning.

When Eran woke, I still hadn’t shaken the feeling and, of course, he noticed it instantly.

“
You’re worried,” he said, point blank.

“
Yes.” Why deny it? It would be no use.

“
Don’t be,” he said, rolling over to kiss me, briefly but with an intensity that pressed our lips together fully.

Then he was up and moving around the room. He stopped midway through dressing and pivoted towards me.

“
You didn’t get any sleep at all, did you?” he asked astounded, already knowing the answer.

I gave him a wavering smile.

Sighing, he approached me, kneeling so that he was at my eye level. “I’m going in quietly, surrounded by the best men I’ve ever had the fortune to work with. I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.”

I scoffed. “You know that’s not possible.”

“
No, it’s not,” he agreed softly. “You’ll know exactly when I leave and exactly when I return, won’t you?”

“
Down to the second.”

His lips lifted in his signature smirk then. “It’s actually somewhat nice to have such a devoted admirer.”

“
Admirer?” I gasped.

He chuckled, knowing his tease had gotten to me. “Wife…I meant devoted wife…”

“
That’s better.”

“
Good,” he said, heaving himself to standing position. “Now up. You’ll need breakfast if you’re going to have enough energy for your chores today.”

“
Chores?” I inquired, dropping my feet to the floor, the chill of it jolting me awake.

“
You’re going to manage the final phase of our defenses today,” Eran announced.

As it turned out, Eran did most of the finalizing, which was just fine with me. He knew where each weapon was best suited and how to position them so they worked most efficiently. By the end of the day, the fortress was firmly secure and Eran was ready for his night mission.

He and the group he’d selected, which was limited to just five Alterums, gathered in the courtyard at dusk. They had followed Eran’s advice and now appeared rested, wide-eyed and energetic. Eran blended in effortlessly with them, a part of their pack but with the authority and respect of a leader, something that always captivated me.

I had to forcibly stop myself from running to him and throwing my arms around his neck, begging him to stay. He wouldn’t and it would only put the others ill at ease. I wanted them, needed them just as they were…confidently equipped to handle whatever they might encounter.

Not wanting to distinguish this night from the others, he made no more acknowledgement towards me than he regularly did at the start of the night missions, other than a casual wink just before he sprang in to flight.

I quickly learned that while the night before had been the fastest of my existence, this night was the slowest, dragging on so much that seconds felt like hours.

Worse, that nagging feeling grew steadily worse with each tick of the clock.

I spent the entire night in the empty dining hall with Felix, Rufus, and Ezra, our voices echoing off the walls.

Their efforts to comfort me were welcomed but unsuccessful. Even when Felix set a tray of banana splits in front of us – without any mysterious, unknown, or unappetizing trimmings included – I still couldn’t bring myself to smile.

I wasn’t trying to be difficult. I wanted to settle back, kick up my feet, and feel as if this were just another ordinary evening back in New Orleans. But that nagging feeling just wouldn’t allow it.

Then the feeling ended. Just like that. As if someone had snapped their fingers. And for a brief moment I felt absolute calm, a brief reprieve before what came next.

Just as Felix finished his last spoonful of ice cream, theatrically smacking his lips in appreciation, I felt it.

The awareness of it caused a violent inhale.

And I knew, somehow, that at that very same moment, as I drew in that breath Eran was exhaling his last.

Then every muscle in my body froze.

And my eyes refused to move, to blink, to see what I was looking at.

My heart beat harder, faster until it pounded in my head.

Suddenly, my legs straightened and I was standing, the chair I had been sitting in tossed backwards with such force it rolled against the table behind me.

“
No,” I snapped at no one in particular. “NO!”

Only vaguely I registered that my housemates were watching me, mouths ajar, stunned and partially terrified.

I drew in another breath and this one released with such fury it made them stand too. “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

The next thing I knew, my knees hit the ground, a loud thump resounding through my body but void of any pain.

Then my head was bowed and I was sobbing.

“
Give her room,” Ezra warned, her voice a wallow in my ears.

“
Room?” Rufus roared. “She needs a shot.”

“
Quiet your voice,” she demanded, perturbed. “Felix, some water, please.”

A cup of water was forced in my hands but I felt it tilt, having no control over my limbs, and spill to the floor, my tears falling in, mixing with, the puddle it created.

Then I heard a growl of frustration. “Stand back,” came the demand just as I felt myself go airborne, lifted by powerful hands that I processed as Rufus’s.

The wind was then on my face, cold, bitter, unwelcoming, and Rufus’s voice was thundering in my ear.

“
Snap outta it!”

“
This ain’t helpin’!”

“
Eran’d be
sick
seein’ ya like this!”

I heard him but I didn’t understand him. Nothing registered with me. I was in a hollow, impenetrable shell.

Then he was spinning and my limbs flapped like straw in the wind.

He ducked downward and soon something was splashing against my face, cutting through the wind like tacks against my skin. Below us in the darkness, something crashed and writhed and my eyes, in their hazy state, found we had made it to the shore and that it was ocean spray catching on my skin.

Still, it didn’t help. Nothing did.

Sometime later, it ended and I was laid gently against a mattress as a cover was pulled over me.

There were whispers and footsteps and then silence. A period of time later, I couldn’t be certain how long, snoring began from the vicinity of the chair by the window.

I lay there neither awake nor asleep as time passed until warmth began to spread across my face. I realized, ironically, that on any other day, in another lifetime, it would have been comforting. For me, it was just a sensation.

Not long after, whisperings began again, though this time I heard and understood them.

“
She’ll want to hear this…” Felix said.

“
I’m not sure she’s ready,” replied Ezra.

“
Then you kin deal with ‘er wrath when she finds out the only survivor wanted to speak to ‘er n’ we didn’t get ‘er up.”

As they bickered about whether to interrupt me, I sat up and put my feet on the floor. Then I was standing and heading for the door.

They had grown quiet when they noticed and now only their footsteps behind me told me they were following.

In the courtyard, two men were crouched, one lying against the other’s arms, being held up because he didn’t have the strength himself.

It was Christianson and he looked like I felt…Dead.

I knelt beside him, taking the edge of my shirt sleeve and wiping the caked blood from his eyes. He blinked then and I pulled away, noticing the bite marks across his body.

“
Tomorrow…” his voice gurgled. “They’re…coming.”

“
Of course they are,” I whispered void of emotion. I sensed no fear, no rage, nothing at all.

For once, the Fallen Ones had no leverage over me.

As Christianson’s last words faded away so did his life. He was already leaving his body when I took the dagger of the man holding him and shoved it through Christianson’s heart.

There were no gasps of surprise, no words of explanation. They weren’t needed. The bite marks told Christianson’s story. An Elsic had been unleashed on him for one simple reason: It was the only way to ensure eternal death.

I had stopped Christianson but I couldn’t stop Eran. The injustice sickened me.

It was how the rest had been killed, Eran included. I knew this with unquestionable certainty.

“
Alert the others,” I said barely above a murmur, sensing that these were Eran’s words. He should be the one here speaking them, not me.

Despite who said them, the scuffing of feet told me that the message was being spread, announcing to the Alterums that their most dire threat was heading their way.

While fear, uncertainty clamored through the stronghold, I found my way back to my bedroom, my housemates again following quietly behind.

No sooner had I laid down when Ms. Barrett burst through the door.

“
What are you doing?” she demanded and even with my eyes closing I knew the question was directed at me. “They. Are. Coming! Up! Get up!”

Maybe it was her choice of words or the ornery tone in her voice but a small battle began at the entrance before I sat up again.

“
Let her in,” I said and my housemates reluctantly stepped aside.

Ms. Barrett straightened the vest she wore and marched up to me. But only then did she actually see me.

I didn’t think it was possible but some of that intense devotion she held for the Alterums was momentarily passed to me. Her eyes softened and her frown disappeared.

“
What-What happened to you?”

“
She lost the only man she ever loved,” barked Felix, seething, ready to lunge at Ms. Barrett until Ezra and Rufus held him back.

I held up a limp hand, having no motivation to do more.

“
They’re in your hands now,” I said to Ms. Barrett. “The Alterums are in your care.”

Her jaw dropped in opposition. “But…But I can’t. What…if I fail them?”

“
You haven’t yet.”

“
But we need you,” she exhaled, lost.

“
I’ll be there,” I said. “But you can’t count on me. My focus won’t be on coordinating the defense.”

Her face twitched in confusion. “What
will
be your focus?”

As I lay back against the pillow, allowing my body to succumb to exhaustion, I released the one word raging through my mind with a tapering whisper…

“
Revenge.”

CHAPTER TWENTY: ERAN

I awoke in the Hall of Records with slightly more energy, but only because I anticipated what I was about to do.

Wasting no time, my wings sprouted and I lifted myself up through the warm breeze, heading for the P’s.