Recovery (3 page)

 “You’re so wet you soaked through your boxers.” He groaned. “I want to touch that pretty pink pussy of yours, Oceane.”

“W-we shouldn’t be doing this-”

“Shh, this is just for you love.  Let me do this, I need this and you do, too.”

“B-but noth—.”  Maxim’s hand slipped beneath the band of her boxers putting an end to all her protests.

“No, Panties? What a naughty little girl.” His finger stroked along her drenched slit, captured her cream and took it back to her engorged clit.

“Oooh, God,” she said.

 The circular movement on her bundle of nerves made her legs quiver as she rocked in time to his tempo.

“That’s right, baby, I want you to take my fingers inside that tight cunt and ride them.”

Two of his long digits plunged deep into her channel and stilled.

“MAX!” Her eyes popped open. The frustration she felt drained away when she glanced over her shoulder and saw the sparks in his eyes.  

“Ride me, O.” Like a snake under the influence of a charmer she was unable to do anything other than obey. She leaned forward for leverage and slammed down on his fingers, crying out in pleasure when his fingers delved deep. O bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. Pure ecstasy washed over her as the walls of her pussy clenched around his fingers. It had been so long and his fingers were so thick. The fluttering inside her increased as the pressure climbed higher and higher.

“Max, oh, God, Max.” His name was a chant stuck on repeat as her body began to twitch. The wave they’d built together crested as her channel flooded with liquid.

“That’s it, baby, come all over my fingers.”

Spent, she slumped against the door. Whimpers of objection left her throat as he removed his fingers. Strong hands wrapped around her waist and lifted her into his arms as he carried her towards the bedroom. Apprehension filled her stomach. Where did they go from here? She’d be a fool to let him back in the house now with nothing resolved. But every time he walked away she was worried it might be the last. Her head tilted back and brown eyes clashed with blue.

“Your eyes are filled with shadows again,” he said.  A sad smile flickered over his lips as he leaned down for a soft kiss. “I know we still have a long way to go, bebe, just let me lay beside you tonight.”

“I…I’m not ready to take this any further,” she said, her skin heated with embarrassment. Fuck, she must seem like such a tease.

“I know, I told you tonight was for you. I’ve done enough taking to last a lifetime. I wanted to give back for once.”

Burrowed into his chest she savored the moment. Tomorrow she’d wake up to find things between them were still fucked. For now she would cherish the peace they’d created in the eye of the storm. Maxim pulled back the covers, placed her on the bed, stripped down to his boxers and slid in beside her. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes as her lids grew heavy and he toyed with the ends of her hair.

“Don’t give up on me, Oceane,” he whispered in the moments just before sleep took her.

“I will never give up, Maxim. Have you given up on yourself?”

Unable to answer her question Maxim shook his head and let a comfortable hush fall over the room.  It wasn’t long until Oceane’s body went slack and her breaths evened. He, however, was unable to find the same rest. Her words haunted him. How had things gotten so twisted? The beauty of their relationship had always been their mutual understanding of the love they held for their crafts. So when did his career begin to come before her?

  One moment he’d been in control.  The next, the whole situation had been on a downward spiral he couldn’t put the brakes on. Maxim felt like a victim of a natural disaster except he had been blinded to the fact that devastation was coming and shell-shocked in the aftermath.  No, that wasn’t right. He had been the one to cause this. Cocaine had started off as an experiment. A drug he’d just do for fun with friends until he’d discovered it boosted his creativity. Then it became a priceless tool. He’d go months without using. Then they’d need new material and he’d binge. Weekends spent over at his bandmate Reed’s apartment kept his methods a secret until the demo deal was made with a record label.

 His usage increased drastically and things between him and Oceane began to deteriorate. The heavy consumption made him paranoid. For no reason at all he’d become convinced O was cheating or someone was after him. Some days he’d refused to leave their apartment at all. Those times had been some of the most sinister. The venomous words he’d spoken had reduced Oceane to tears.

It was like someone else was in control of his body.  There was a portion of the maniac behavior he couldn’t even remember. Still, the music that came into existence was sensational. It had earned M.A.D. their first record deal. Maxim couldn’t stop now. If M.A.D created subpar material on the cusp of stardom they’d be finished before they started. It was a letdown he refused to be responsible for. Just a couple more tracks and he could put the coke away. The weight of his sadness crushed him as the memories began to overwhelm.

* * * *

6 months earlier

“Where are you going?” he asked, as he took in O’s outfit. The shimmery metallic tank top paired with black skinny jeans and three inch heels was not her normal style.

“Out for drinks with Henri and Aurelie,” she said was she grabbed her oversized black purse off the counter of the breakfast nook.

“I thought you were staying in tonight with me.”   He set his guitar down to give her his undivided attention. Maxim played the role of dutiful fiancé well, but what he really wanted to do was assure himself she’d be gone long enough for him to call Tony and get his fix. All the music he’d worked on had fallen flat. He needed the boost that only coke could provide.  

“I was, but then Aur called me to tell me about their plans and I figured why not. You’re planning on working on your music so I didn’t see the harm.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her head back to smile up at him.

“That sounds fun, babe, but I thought you were going to do some work on your poetry book, it’s almost done.”  

“Everyone needs a break sometime, Maxi, you should remember that.” She pulled away from him to issue a playful tap to his nose before she headed towards the door.

“You’re right, have a good time, baby, I’ll miss you.”

His heart pounded in his ears as she left the house and he forced himself to count to one hundred. He had to be sure she wouldn’t return and catch him in mid-conversation. She knew exactly who Tony was and didn’t hesitate to tell either of them what she thought about their dealings. Tony thought it was funny that a little slip of nothing like her was so fearless. Tony was never known for his benevolence and one day Oceane’s luck would run out, so he did his best to keep them far away from each other. Fifteen minutes later he decided that coast was clear and made the call.

“Max, where’ve you been, man?”

“I’ve been around, doing gigs and planning the wedding.”

“Oh, yeah, the little spitfire been keeping you on lock down?”“No, you know I only use when I’m working on new material.”

“Right…so what can I do for you?”

“I need an eight ball, as fast as you can get it here.”

“For you I’ll make it twenty minutes.”

“Thanks, man.”

Maxim disconnected and rushed out of the apartment to the ATM located at the corner store.

* * * *

3 hours later

Maxim was surrounded by papers lined with lyrics and notes. The block that had plagued him for a month had been removed.  His hand cramped as he paused from jotting down a new song and glanced at the clock.  He needed to get rid of the last of the blow before O got home.  If he remained engrossed in his work when she came home she’d assume it was inspiration that drove him. Maxim shook the cramp from his hand and went to the bathroom to set up the last lines on the counter. He picked up the rolled dollar he’d used earlier, placed one finger on his left nostril and inhaled with his right.

He wiped the traces of white away from his nose, cleaned the mirror, unrolled his dollar and returned it to his wallet. Perfect, all the evidence had been disposed of. Pleased, he moved to leave the bathroom when the tremors shook his body. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and blackness took over.

He came to with a gasp.  O’s worried face inches from his own.

“W-what happened?”

“You overdosed, man.”

The sound of Tony’s voice made has disorientation even worse. What would Tony be doing here with Oceane?

“When I came home and found you on the floor I panicked. There was blood oozing from your nose and froth on your lips. I panicked and called Tony. He came over and administered an adrenaline shot.”

“You should be as good as new in a few days, Max; I’ll leave you and your old lady alone now.”

He nodded, not moving his gaze from Oceane’s face as Tony’s footsteps faded into the background. The sound of a door closing echoed in the quiet space.

“I refuse to turn a blind eye to this any longer, Max. You have a problem and until you can admit that and get help, the wedding is off and you can’t stay here. I can’t come home to this again.”

“O, this was a flu—”

“I said I don’t want to hear it anymore!” Her composure broke as she spoke to him in a steady stream of French that made his heart drop. This was not something he could charm his way out of. She was serious.

“You have the weekend to get yourself together and then I want you out or enrolled in a twelve step program!”

Chapter Two

Present

The thought of what he’d done under the influence still chilled him. He needed to complete these last songs so he could kick his habit. Determined to finish the album, he held onto the hope for the future he’d glimpsed tonight.

“Soon we’ll be together, love.” he said bending to kiss Oceane’s cheek.

Reluctantly he left the bed, dressing and hurrying out the door while he still had the ability to leave.

* * * *

Right on time,
he thought as he entered his apartment, making a bee line for his room. He grabbed his black and white Fender Strat, and headed out to the living room with a notebook, and a vial.

“Max, what are you doing?” Reed asked as he looked up from the three lines he’d laid out on the table in front of him. He’d been so involved in his task he hadn’t even heard the door open.

  “I’m self-medicating before I work on the last songs for our album,” he said with a wry smile.

Reed released a deep sigh as he sank into the seat opposite him. “What happened, Max?”

“Oceane.”

“You saw her today?” Reed asked as he leaned forward. “Where?”

“At the old apartment, she read a poem at open- mic night and I couldn’t resist.” A small smile curved his lips as he recalled her words.

Down a dark tunnel he travels in search of a sliver of light

I keep a candle light to call him home in the night

The demons that he battles drag him down with their lies

“So what went wrong?” Reed asked.

“Nothing. That’s the problem. One minute it was like I had her again and then reality set in and it was time to go.”  

Maxim ignored the fact that his sniff of indignation sounded more like a sob and turned his eyes back to the horizontal rows that would make him forget the ache in his heart.

“All she asks is you stop this shit and you can go home. You talk a good game about how much you love her, but the only one that keeps the two of you apart is you.”

“Don’t you think I want to stop?”

“Doesn’t look like it from where I stand.”

The sight of his best friend’s face twisted into a sneer was too much to handle on top of Oceane’s rejection. So he turned back to the table. With a finger placed on the side of his nose he inhaled the white power that controlled his life, willing the high to hit.

“You need to stop this shit before you lose everything! We got signed to do a record and now it’s like I barely know you,” Reed said as he stood. “I’m worried about you, Max; you need to get a handle on this.” His voice was full of uncertainty and guilt. Almost as if he was an accessory to a crime he didn’t want to commit. It’d be funny if it wasn’t such a sad situation .

Max ran a shaky hand through his tousled hair as he swiped at his nose. Calmness he hadn’t felt ten minutes earlier was taking hold. “I’m fine, we only have two more songs left to finish and then I’ll stop.”

“I wonder what those songs will cost you Max,” Reed whispered. He turned to leave the living room with a sad shake of his head.

“Reed always worries too much,” Max mumbled to himself.

His mind raced a million miles a minute as his heart accelerated and he picked up the guitar. Skilled fingers flew over the strings as he was taken to a place that seemed separate from reality. The notes arranged themselves into complex riffs and harmonies he knew would blow his bandmates’ minds.

****

When she woke to find the side of the bed beside her cool, the pain rushing in cut deeper than she’d anticipated.  Sobs shook her frame as she pulled her knees up to her chest, mourning the loss of a potential new beginning. In search of reassurance she grabbed the cell phone that rested on her nightstand to call her sister.

“Hello,” the sleep worn voice said as O calmed herself enough to form words.

“Aurelie.”

“Oceane, what’s wrong?” Aurelie asked, her voice more alert.

“I saw Max last night.”

“Did he do something crazy? Was he high out of his mind? I told you, he’s not the same boy we once knew, you have to be more careful—”

“No, he didn’t do anything that’s the problem!”