Red Hot Touch (16 page)

TRICKS THAT’LL TICKLE THAT TUSH

The following techniques fall into two camps. The first group of maneuvers loiters
around
the back door but doesn’t enter. This can be a pleasurable sensation in its own right, and a great way to test the waters and warm up for more in-depth work. After that, we’ve included some techniques that take you a little deeper. All techniques are fine to try on both men and women except where indicated otherwise. Just remember, as Margaret Cho once said, “Everyone’s anus is a little bit different. They’re like snowflakes.” So check in with your partner frequently to make sure you’re rubbing that rear the right way.

Non-penetrative Techniques

ANAL YOGA

Fine with or without lubrication

Slowly spread the butt cheeks with both hands and place your thumbs on each side of the anus. Pressing down gently, pull your thumbs gradually apart. Ask your partner to inhale deeply, then exhale, at which point your thumbs should return back to their starting position. Then do the exact same thing again—the breathing, the stretching—but inch your thumbs to more of a diagonal position around the anus and pull diagonally, then inch your thumbs right above and below the anus and pull up and down. Remember, your
partner’s breathing is key; without it his or her anus might not relax at all. Take your time and this technique will stretch and stimulate the area, which can serve as the perfect opening act, so to speak.

ANAL YOGA

BACK DOOR FOR BEGINNERS

Fine with or without lubrication

For people who aren’t used to anyone
touching
their anus, much less entering it, it’s crucial you get them accustomed to the sensation before diving in. Here’s how: Merely rest your hand between the butt cheeks so the tip of your middle finger is touching the anus. Rest your other hand on the sacrum—the bone just above the butt crack that, when touched, can get energy flowing throughout the pelvic region, which is bound to work in your favor. Keeping both
hands still, ask your partner to breathe deep and imagine he or she is inhaling and exhaling through the anus. Sure it sounds weird, but it can help release tons of tension that is often stored here and can help open all kinds of doors. This technique is also a great way to end a session of anal penetration, since rather than brusquely beating a fast retreat, you can stay connected and ease out of this intimate encounter.

POSTERIOR IN PRAYER

Lots of lubrication a must

Put your hands together as if you were praying and place them in the crack between your partner’s butt cheeks. Then move them back and forth along this crease in a slow sawing motion (if you’re doing this on a woman, saw only in an upward motion to avoid getting lubrication from the anus into the vagina). Since you’re rubbing the entryway but not intruding, this technique is also a pleasurable preliminary move.

SWIMMING UPSTREAM

Lots of lubrication a must

This technique is similar to Posterior in Prayer, only you undulate your hands as if they were a salmon wiggling its way up a river. This will set off a cascade of nerve endings along the butt’s banks.

TWIDDLING YOUR THUMBS

Best with lubrication

Try twiddling your thumbs on the anus one right after the other. Start slow—say, each thumb pad contacting the anus once per second—and
if your partner’s enjoying it, slowly build up speed (thumb-twiddling masters might be able to get their thumb pads on the anus up to three times per second). Consider it the equivalent of knocking: It may earn you an invitation on in.

Penetrative Techniques

ACCESS GRANTED

Lots of lubrication a must

Once you’ve tried the non-penetrative anal techniques and your partner has signaled in so many words, signs, or moans that he or she is ready for more, it may be time to head in. Here’s how: Rest one finger on the anus and very gently apply pressure, allowing your partner to draw you in.
Do not push in
—allow the anus to
let
you in. Once the tip of your finger has made it past the external anal sphincter, hold still for at least thirty seconds so your partner can get used to the sensation. Even without movement, penetration alone will feel pleasurable, and you don’t want to rush the process. The slower your pace, the more you can both relish the experience.

ROUND TWO

Lots of lubrication a must

Once you’re past the first sphincter, it’s time to contend with sphincter 2, which should lie one to two centimeters farther inside on most people. As with the first sphincter, never force entry. Just hang out there, with your finger lightly pressing against the opening. Even this simple holding pattern will feel phenomenal. After a while, sphincter 2 may mellow and allow you a little deeper.

ROCK AROUND THE ANUS

Lots of lubrication a must

Once you’ve made it past both sphincters, you may notice that things open up a little—and it’s time to start exploring. Envisioning a clock face along the rectum’s outer edges, press along each hour. Try massaging small circles at each stop, closely gauging your partner’s reaction. If you two are up for talking, even better. Describe what you’re doing (“I’m pressing/rubbing at eight o’clock”) and ask how it feels. This will help you pinpoint exactly which spots carry the highest sexual charge.

THE PROSTATE TICKLER (FOR MEN ONLY)

Lots of lubrication a must

On men, one special area of interest in the anus is the prostate—a highly sensitive gland located along the front wall around three inches in. If your partner is lying facedown, you can find the prostate by pressing down toward the floor; it should feel like a walnut-sized bump (keep in mind that the prostate can swell and become easier to locate once a guy is already aroused, so if you’re having trouble finding it, consider working on other areas of his anatomy then checking back later). Once you’ve located the prostate, you can stimulate it by crooking your finger in a come-hither motion. Prepare to make him googly-eyed with pleasure; some men can reach orgasm through stimulation of the prostate alone.

HUGGING THE PROSTATE (FOR MEN ONLY)

Lots of lubrication a must

While massaging the prostate gland through the anus feels amazing, there’s a way to double his pleasure, and here’s the secret. Remember how the prostate can also be stimulated by pressing up on the perineum, the patch of flesh between his testicles and anus? Do that
while
penetrating him anally, and you can stimulate this extra-sensitive gland from
both
sides. To do it, create a C with your thumb and middle finger. Insert your middle finger into the anus and press down on the prostate while pressing up on the perineum with your thumb. Move your whole hand in small circles, and you’ll have one puddle of satisfied man on your hands in no time.

HUGGING THE PROSTATE

JAZZING THE G-SPOT (FOR WOMEN ONLY)

Lots of lubrication a must

While women will find anal penetration pleasurable purely because the opening is loaded with nerve endings, there’s another secret trigger point buried deeper within: the G-spot.

QUADRUPLE DELIGHT

That’s right, this well-known erogenous zone is accessible through the rectum as well as the vagina. To reach it, have her lie on her stomach while you insert a finger into the anus palm down. Once you’re around three inches in, press down toward the floor and crook your finger in a come-hither motion. In our classes we’ve seen women achieve orgasm this way, so consider making a special trip to check it out.

THE QUADRUPLE DELIGHT (FOR WOMEN ONLY)

Lots of lubrication a must

To start, make sure she’s lying faceup, ideally with her legs raised so the backs of her knees or her feet are resting on your chest or shoulders.
Insert a well-lubed finger into her anus, making sure she’s warmed up before you delve deep. Then with your other hand insert your middle and index fingers in her vagina so they’re touching the G-spot and A-spot. Finally, place the thumb of that same hand on the clitoris. Then start moving all fingers involved in small circles or however she likes it best. In effect, you’re hitting
four
erogenous zones at once. And that’s bound to be a grand slam arousal-wise.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
HOW YOUR HANDS CAN MAKE INTERCOURSE, ORAL SEX, AND EVERY IN-BED ACTIVITY HOTTER THAN EVER

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
—WOODY ALLEN

C
ongratulations—if you’ve been reading up until this point, you now know more than a
hundred ways
to handle every hot spot on the body with mind-blowing results. But let’s not stop there. One of the best things about your hands is that they play well with others and can be easily incorporated into all areas of your sex life, from intercourse to oral sex and beyond. In fact, pretty much
anything
you could imagine doing in bed can be made much hotter if your mitts are in the picture. So it’s time to start getting fancy.

As you read on, you’ll quickly notice that these all-in-one extravaganzas are built on the manual moves you learned in
chapters 4
,
6
,
8
, and
9
(so if you find yourself needing more guidance on how to do these techniques, feel free to flip back to those chapters for a refresher).
At first, the coordination involved in some of these combinations may be a bit challenging, kind of like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. But after a few tries you should be able to get the hang of it. Keep in mind, this list is by no means a
complete
inventory of all the amazing things your hands can do during a close encounter, and that good communication and connection matter way more than any trick you might have up your sleeve. So consider these ideas a launching pad for your new, improved sex life from which you can explore and experiment further—you’ll find your hands will become virtuosos at improvising from here on out. So if you and your partner feel ready to embark on some of the wildest rides of your life, read on, fasten your seatbelts, and have fun.