Red Lines (27 page)

What in the hell was she talking about? This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She wasn’t letting him use his speech. How could he smooth everything over if she was this angry?

“You know, Haven, you don’t really know what I think. You won’t let me talk.”

She folded her arms and landed on the cushions behind her. “Ok, then tell me you’re not here because you were jealous. Tell me you didn’t fly from L.A. because you thought there was some tiny ounce of truth in those photos. Tell me you had nothing to do with Jeff’s visit. Tell me I am completely wrong. Because right now, I don’t think there’s anything else you could say to turn this around.”

He swallowed hard. Could he use the speech now? He kneeled in front of her, noticing how she bristled when his palm grazed her thigh.

“There’s some truth in what you’re saying, but it’s not that bad. I never thought you cheated. I never said that. Those were not my words—not ever.”

She focused on a spot at the back of the room.

He continued. “Don’t you know I would have sat up all night with you until we fixed this? It killed me sleeping down the hall, knowing you were angry, knowing you were only feet away and you wouldn’t let me in.” He shifted to the couch; his knees couldn’t take the floor.

“I admit I overreacted. And I didn’t know Jeff was going to say any of those things to you. But that doesn’t matter, because he did. And he did it for me. He never should have thrown out those kind of accusations. I will have a talk with him. A serious talk.” He paused. “This is going to sound like an excuse, but I swear it’s not. When I saw the pictures, it was like Emmy all over again. But not the same way.”

He shook his head. “I’m not saying this right. Hold on. Let me start over.” He took a deep breath.

“I got in that Jeep and drove to Perry Island last summer because I was tired of seeing my love life on display. I was tired of not having a normal relationship. It hurt. I felt like a complete failure. There was proof all around me that I was a failure.

“And when the pictures showed up yesterday, it drudged all of that up again. Emmy found someone else because my heart wasn’t in it. I kept thinking, what if I’ve done that again? What if you think my heart isn’t in this? What if you were just being friendly, having coffee with a new friend, and eventually coffee turned to dinner, and dinner turned to a movie, and before you know it, you’ve got someone who is there for you? Someone who can do things I can’t. Someone who is with you when your family falls apart. Someone who comes home at night. What if I gave you someone else?”

Haven’s eyes shifted across the couch and landed on his. “That’s what you thought? That Drew was going to be my new someone?” The tenderness in her voice stirred his blood.

Evan nodded. “I’m embarrassed, and I’m an ass—a jealous ass. But, God, Haven, it was just a glimpse of what could happen even though I know, I believe that it was just coffee. I believe that, but my head fast-forwarded six months from now. And that six-months-from-now image is what got me on the plane.”

“And you know what I thought?” She uncrossed her arms, her voice growing softer.

“What’s that?”

“That you thought I was just like my father. That I was capable of lying and cheating and ruining everything we had together just because I was lonely or unhappy. You didn’t think I was strong enough to do this. Dammit, Evan. You don’t trust me.”

“No, no, I don’t think you’re anything like Denton. That wasn’t it at all. It was about me and how every relationship before this one has fallen apart in the press. I don’t ever want to go through that again. I don’t want to put you through it. We can’t let that happen to us.” His eyes blinked back tears. “I do trust you. I trust you completely.”

“Maybe I don’t belong in this world with you, Evan. All I do is screw it up.”

He saw the thick drops in the corners of her eyes. “Don’t say that. It’s still new. It’s only been a few months. It would freak anyone out.”

“But look what’s happened in the few months since we left the island. ‘Evmy’ was reborn. We’ve barely seen each other. You thought I was staking out a new boyfriend. How much do we need to see before we realize that maybe we don’t belong together? No matter how much I love you, how much I want to be with you, maybe we just don’t fit off the island.”

“Hold on.” He clasped her hands, pulling her closer to him. “It’s just a tabloid story that’s going to blow over. And ‘Evmy’ will be replaced by another couple. While we’re clearing the air here, there was nothing between Carly and me ever—always been friends. Only friends.” He tried to read her expression. “I only have two more months in L.A. Two months, baby. We can get through two months.”

“Two months? We barely made it through the first one.”

“It’s nothing compared to the big picture. We’ll figure it out.”

“And then what? You’re going to retire? I can never be seen with another guy? We hide out at the ranch for the rest of our lives and raise cows? I know you need more than cows and rides on a four-wheeler.”

He knew Carly would be back any second with coffee. Time was running out and instead of bringing Haven back to him, he had set her on a path that was cracking the glass in every direction.

“There has to be a way. We can’t let this go. I’m not letting this go. I know you don’t want that.”

A tear slipped off her lashes and rolled along her cheek. “Maybe it’s what we need to do.”

“Knock, knock.” Carly peeked her head through the door. “I brought coffee for everyone.”

Haven quickly wiped the tears from her face. “Great. Evan has to get back to the ranch and I’m ready for the chorus.”

She stood, and he knew his window to convince her had closed. He should have used the damn speech.

“Sure you don’t want to stick around? You can watch us work.” Carly smiled.

“Nah, that’s all right. You two have important things to do here.”

He cupped Haven’s jaw and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be at home.”

“But you have to fly back.”

He turned at the door. “I’ll be at home.”

He closed it behind him and walked down the hall. He didn’t know how long he’d have to stay in Texas, but there was no way he was leaving. His entire world was about to fall apart.

T
HERE MIGHT
be a new chorus in the song, but Haven knew it felt just as flat as the last one. She told Carly she’d work on it tonight. Driving out of the city, she didn’t know if she had it in her. It was a love song. Who was she to write about love?

It was dark when the guard waved her through the ranch gate. Evan said he’d be home, but she didn’t expect to see him. He had an early morning shoot. There was no way he’d miss that. He’d probably try to call or FaceTime later. All she wanted was a glass of wine and have Lenny fix some of his homemade mac and cheese.

She slowed the car along the curves in the road. On the way to work this morning, she noticed some of the cattle drivers had moved part of the herd closer to the dirt road. They looked like statues as she passed them. She heard Lenny mention the big auction they had in the spring at the ranch as a fundraiser. Some of the steers went for thousands of dollars. It was an annual event for the workers.

There was so much about the ranch she still needed to learn. She hadn’t even been on a horseback ride yet. Evan kept promising to take her when the movie wrapped. There was an entire stable of horses on the ranch she hadn’t met.

After today, none of that was going to happen. How could it? None of this was real. It wasn’t her home. This wasn’t her car. Everything belonged to Evan, and she had accepted it as if fairytale endings were a normal part of life. Her castle was a ranch, and her prince was a cowboy movie star who was never home. That part of the ending was never in the movies.

She pulled into the garage. On her way into the kitchen, she noticed Evan’s four-wheeler was missing.

She saw a note on the counter and picked it up:

Bud’s waiting for you to take you out. See you in ten minutes.

—E.

She turned toward the door just in time to see Bud stroll through the hallway. “You ready?” He tipped his hat.

She held the note out, hoping he could explain everything about the cryptic message.

“Where are we going? Can I change?”

He cleared his throat. “I was told to take you straight to the meeting location.”

“But I—” She saw the look in Bud’s eye and knew better than to challenge him on the spot. “Ok, fine. I’ll go.”

He led her through the garage. She expected to climb in the back of one of the black cars, but he jumped on a golf cart parked behind her car. “Hop on.” He patted the seat next to him.

It was dark, but after a few seconds, she recognized the part of the ranch that led to Evan’s favorite spot. She could never find it on her own, even though she had tried.

Bud took them through the last tunnel of trees, and they emerged in the clearing. The Silver Belle replica was lit up, and Evan was standing next to a campfire. Bud stepped on the brake. “This is your stop.” He nodded at her.

Reluctantly, she climbed out of the cart. “Thanks, Bud.”

“Sure thing.” He tipped his hat, threw the cart in reverse, and headed back through the thicket.

“What’s this all about?” She anchored her hands to her hips. She noticed the chairs were by the camper, and Evan had placed plaid blankets and pillows around the fire.

“You said something today.” Evan walked forward.

“Which thing? We both said a lot.”

“The thing about how everything changed after we left the island.”

“Oh, right. That thing.”

He tugged on her hand and pulled her to him. She tried to resist the way it felt when his skin hit hers, but the burn was unmistakable.

“Evan, don’t.” She pressed her palms into his chest.

“Don’t what? Hold you and tell you I love you?” He wrapped a strong arm around her waist, making it impossible to move anywhere but closer to him.

She looked into his eyes, darkened by the night. “This doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t undo what I said.”

“Why can’t it? This is real. This is as real as it gets. I know that. You know that.” He moved his hands to her face. They still felt warm from the fire. “If we have to stay on the island, or here on our pretend version of the island, that’s what we’re going to do. Because I am not giving up, or letting go, or starting over with anyone else. Do you hear me?”

“But, this doesn’t fix anything.”

“Shh.” He smiled. “It does. It fixes everything.” He tipped her head back before his lips came crashing down on hers.

At first, she closed her eyes, willing her body not to react to the way his lips moved against hers. But his tongue dipped in her mouth and his hands tangled in her hair, breaking down any resistance she had cemented.

“Evan, it’s not that simple,” she whispered between kisses.

“It is exactly this simple.” He grinned. “Don’t think. Just feel.” He kissed her throat, his hands trailing down her back.

“I can’t pretend none of this happened.” She groaned. God, she wanted to forget everything except the way he felt, but nothing was resolved. Seduction did nothing to solve their problems. Part of him thought she was capable of cheating.

Evan took her by the hand, leading her to the campfire. “Look at me.”

She watched the flames dance in his eyes.

“Do you love me?”

“You know I do.” She whispered the words over the crackling pops of the fire.

“Then kiss me like this is the beginning and not the end.” He traced the side of her cheek. “Love me like we belong together.”

The words settled on her, filling her, clawing their way into her soul. She didn’t belong to anyone else. Only him. It was crazy to think she could walk away from him without it shredding her heart. But what if she was right? What if they didn’t work off the island?

Her hand encircled his neck, and she reached on her tiptoes, drawing him to her mouth. She kissed him like he was one of the songs she was writing, slow and deliberate, taking her time to make sure every touch was perfectly placed.

His tongue lashed against hers, matching the rhythm she set. She felt the deep need she had for him surfacing, taking over her thoughts, invading her blood, firing desire in her core.