Red: Through the Dark (7 page)

“What?” Paulson growls, and the sound reminds me of Nash when he gets upset.

“Yeah,” I shrug, trying to be casual, trying not to show how much it hurts or how upset I actually am. “I don’t know why someone would do that unless they were just trying to remind me that I don’t belong here.”

“I don’t think it’s just you,” Paulson comments. “Some weird things have been happening all over the pack.”

“What do you mean?”

“A bunch of meat went missing this week,” he comments. “And last week, several shifters reported missing tools and weapons.”

“What?” I ask. “Nash didn’t mention any of that to me.”

“He doesn’t want anyone to worry,” Paulson says.

“I’m supposed to be his mate, though.”

“You
are
his mate. Just because you haven’t had your ceremony yet doesn’t mean you aren’t recognized as his other half, honey.” Sally’s voice is gentle, but strained. I wonder if she’s worried about what these weird coincidences mean.

Is someone trying to sabotage the pack?

At first, I thought someone was only trying to sabotage
me
, but what do tools and food have to do with me? Is there a chance this could be something more, something different?

Something else entirely?

“Well, we should get going,” Sally says quietly, looking at Tam, who is starting to get fussy in Paulson’s arms.

“Thanks again, Red,” he says. Then they take their little boy and leave the childcare center. Slowly, I begin to clean up the room. I put all the extra diapers away, wash the sippy cups and bottles that were left behind, and tidy up the room. I sanitize everything, wash my hands, and close up the room for the night.

I only wish dealing with a torn-up wedding dress was the worst of my problems.

***

“Open up,” someone is banging on the door. Rolling over, I look at the clock on the nightstand. It’s not even 7:00 yet. Why is someone banging on the door? Grumpily, I get out of the empty bed. Nash is away hunting with the other wolves and I’m alone. I grip my robe tightly around my body and open the door.

“It’s the childcare center,” Ali looks frantic. “You need to come.” She doesn’t say anything else, but her appearance worries me. It’s not just her tone of voice, although that itself would be enough to freak me out. Ali looks completely disheveled. Her hair is sticking every which way and her clothes are covered in…something. I don’t know what.

A sense of dread overwhelms me, but I follow her anyway. I don’t bother to change out of my robe, so I shiver slightly as we enter the cold hallway. I don’t know what it is about wolves, but even in their human forms, they never seem to get cold. Seriously, is it winter down here? I look around, half-expecting Santa Clause to pop around the corner and offer me a Christmas gift.

We hurry to the childcare center, and I bite back a gasp when I peek inside.

It’s gone.

It’s destroyed.

“What happened?” I ask, walking into the room. I look around at the broken crib, the damaged toys, and the overturned tables. The molding clay is everywhere. I’m guessing that’s what’s on Ali’s clothes. There’s paint all over. Formula cans have been opened and dumped out. I cringe as I think about how much those cans cost the pack. “Who would do something like this?”

“I don’t know,” Ali whispers.

“Have you told Mrs. Beaver yet?” The older woman is the one who is in charge of the childcare center. I’m one of her main caregivers, but she’s the one who creates the schedule, who comes up with activities, and who keeps everything organized.

“I sent Mary Beth to go get her.”

“Good. She needs to see this. It’s going to break her heart, but she’ll know what to do.” All of our hard work is gone. As I glance around the room, I can’t help but think how much joy this childcare center has brought to the pack. It’s not fancy or big. It’s just a little room we fixed up, but it means a lot to the families of our pack. It means a lot to all of us.

The center has given me something to do, something to focus on when I was going crazy from stress.

“We can fix it,” I say to Ali. I don’t know if it’s actually true. Most of the furniture is destroyed. Everything has been dumped out and broken. With the other shenanigans that have been going on in the pack, I don’t know if we can actually afford to fix everything that’s been destroyed. Just a new crib alone is going to cost a lot, but everything else in the room? It’s amazing how quickly little things add up in cost. We can ask people to donate things, but I have a feeling it’s not going to be that simple.

Then I turn and I see the message scrawled on the wall in bright blue finger paint.

“I’m sorry, Red,” Ali murmurs.

Without another word, I just turn and leave.

Red

I lock the door to our suite and climb into the shower. Then I let the tears fall as I think about the words painted on the wall.

That’s what they think of me. That’s what my pack thinks of me.

I know, logically, that not everyone thinks this way, but right now it feels like the whole world – the whole pack – is against me.

So I cry. I let out everything I’m feeling, everything I’ve been feeling, everything I’ll ever feel about the pack and my life here. I thought I could handle it. I thought I could be brave and bold, but I can’t. I can’t do it anymore.

Nobody wants me here.

Nash says he does, but we barely see each other at all, and when we do, he’s so busy with the pack that we don’t really connect anymore. I cry as I weep for my wedding day that will never come. I cry for the children I’ll never have. I cry for the pain I’ve already gone through to connect with the pack.

I cry.

By the time I’m finished, I’ve made my decision. Nash deserves better than me. He needs to lead this pack with his whole heart and his full focus. I’m just keeping him from that. I knew from the start that our relationship had blossomed really quickly. Too quickly. He saved me. Maybe he feels bound to me because of that. I don’t know.

But I do know that he’s better off without me.

He deserves a shifter.

I don’t bother packing a bag. Everything I own was given to me by the pack, anyway. The only thing I need is the key to my grandmother’s safety deposit box and my debit card, which is in my nightstand. After her death, Jeffrey sold off all of her stuff, so I don’t even have mementos. There’s just the damn deposit box. Maybe there will be cash in there. I don’t know. Maybe there will be something.

I know Jeffrey had planned to go extract it and drain her bank accounts, but he hadn’t yet, for some reason. Maybe he was too busy trying to take over the Nightfall Pack.

I’m not sure.

Dressing quickly, I shove the key and my card in my pocket. I write a short note to Nash, knowing he’ll be pissed, knowing it’s not good enough, but that it will have to do.

Then I walk out of the suite and out of the cave, and I go back into the woods.

***

I regret my choice as soon as I’m back in the forest. I haven’t made it more than half an hour away when I can sense there’s trouble. Isn’t there always?

Despite the fact that I’m not a wolf, I can sense danger, at least a little bit. I can tell there’s something wrong, but I paste a brave face on and keep walking.

Instead of worrying that someone might be watching me or following me, I think about Nash. I think about what he’ll do without me. Will he get together with Tessa? Do I have any right to be mad if he does?

I’m so stupid. I really had this fantasy that the pack would make me their sort of Alpha queen, but that’s not the way things worked out.

That’s not how things ended up going.

But was I too quick to give up on Nash? I don’t want to. I don’t
want
to leave him. I shouldn’t have. If things went my way, I’d stay and love him forever. Hell, I’m going to love him forever anyway. I’m just no good for him. I’m not what he needs right now.

He deserves better than me.

He deserves a wolf.

I wrap my red cloak around myself, shivering despite the warmth of the day. I need to keep moving. I need to go. I can hitch a ride to town and get money from the bank, then I can go create a life somewhere. Anywhere.

I know if I went back to my old legal firm, they’d offer me my job back. I wasn’t the world’s best paralegal, but I was pretty good at what I did. I was thorough. Maybe I can go back to my old town and try to make a life for myself.

Only I know even as the thought passes through my mind that it’s useless.

Nash was the only thing I ever wanted and I’m just no damn good for him.

I pull my cloak tighter around myself and keep moving. The woods still aren’t familiar to me. Part of that’s because I’m not a wolf, but part of it’s because I’ve spent too much time inside. Instead of worrying about our mating ceremony and whether or not my dress will fit, I should have been running wild outdoors, spending time chasing squirrels or looking for cool rocks or something.

Anything.

I walk carefully, but quickly, keeping up a steady pace. Soon it starts to rain. The clouds drizzle at first, but soon the sky opens up and the rain begins to pour. Even the thick branches covered in leaves that fill the forest can’t protect me and I start to run, looking for a place to seek shelter.

I’m going in the opposite direction of the cabin I once hid inside. It’s a pity because the cabin would be perfect for a storm like this. The wood exterior is strong and durable and I know for a fact the roof doesn’t leak. It’s only a matter of minutes before I’m soaked in spite of my cloak. As it turns out, my red cloak is good for keeping out the cold: not the rain.

I move faster.

Soon I spot what looks like a tiny opening between two large boulders. I don’t know if it’s a cave or just a small space, but I’ll take it. Anything is better than staying out in the rain. Moving quickly, I hike my cloak up so the edges don’t catch on the rocks and I slip into the little opening. To my surprise, it
does
open into a tiny cave, though I doubt anything has ever lived there. The cave is only about three feet by three feet. It’s not even enough room for me to lie down in.

Instead, I sit down with my back against the back of the cave and my feet pointed toward the entrance. I don’t have so much as a knife to protect myself. I was in such a hurry to run away from my life I didn’t even think to bring a weapon.

Just another way the forest life isn’t for me.

I feel like I used to be stronger than this. I used to not let things bother me. I used to be better, more durable. Now I’m weak. Now I let a group of people who hate me tear me away from the one person who loved me more than anything else.

And even though I know Nash is better off without me, I let myself cry in the cave. The sounds of my sobs are drowned out by the rain, and I close my eyes.

Nash

The rain cuts our adventure short. When it begins to pour, all the wolves head back to the caves. We all shake just inside the entrance. Once we’ve gotten as much water as possible off of ourselves, we shift back, then head further in.

“Quite a storm,” Ryder comments. I know this is his way of respectfully asking why I didn’t cancel the run when I smelled the storm in the air.

“Thought we’d be back in time,” I mutter. The pack is already dispersing and I turn to head toward my sweet, but Allison Martin appears in front of me and looks terrified. Ryder smirks at me and I know exactly what he’s thinking: if Ali wanted to marry me all those years ago, who’s to say she doesn’t want to now?

Maybe she’s the one behind all the trouble we’ve been having. Maybe she resents Red and the relationship I have with her. Something tells me this isn’t Allison’s doing, though. She may have had a crush on me, but she was never vicious. If anything, Allison was always
too
nice. That’s one of the reasons I suspect she’s still single: she’s not tough enough to handle a relationship with a wolf. She might be one herself, but being a wolf and handling another are two entirely different things.

“Ali,” I say carefully. “What can I do for you?”

“It’s the childcare center,” she says. “Someone destroyed it.”

“What?” I cry out, and several wolves turn to look at me. “Show me.”

Quickly, Ali and I dart out of the main gathering space and head down one of the side halls. At some point, Thorn throws me a t-shirt and shorts, which I manage to pull on as Ali and I make our way down the narrow hallways and around several sharp corners.

We arrive at the childcare room and I’m overwhelmed by the emotions in the room. The scents mingle as I enter and I smell fear, sadness, and frustration. Anger wafts through the room when Ryder enters. He’s almost as mad as I am.

“Who did this?” I growl, taking in the broken toys and damaged furniture. Mrs. Beaver is in the center of the room with tears rolling down her face. She’s surveying the damage and shaking her head.

I’m overwhelmed by the damage to the equipment, but that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is the message sprawled across the wall. It’s a message that is obviously meant for my mate. It’s obviously meant for Red.

“Who the fuck did this?”

“We don’t know,” Mrs. Beaver says quietly.

“Does Red know?” I ask. My mate is going to need me. If she hasn’t seen the message, I wonder if it would be better for her not to know. She doesn’t have to ever find out. I don’t like the idea of lying to her, but these words are harsh, and my little darling is already struggling enough without throwing this onto her pile of worries.

“No,” Mrs. Beaver says. “It’s just me and Ali this morning.”

“Actually,” Ali cringes. “I showed her.”

“What? When? Where is she now?”

“I don’t know,” Ali answers, and I can tell she’s telling the truth. “She went back to the suite.”

“I don’t understand how this could have happened,” I say. Ryder is walking around, picking up equipment and broken pieces of wood. He’s obviously trying to figure out if any of this is salvageable.

“When I came in to open this morning, it was like this.” Ali sounds distraught. “We’ve been having so many problems lately, but I didn’t think this would happen. I didn’t think she’d…I mean they, would come after the kids.”

“She?” I demand, not missing Ali’s slip. “Allison Martin, who did this?”

Her eyes are big and she looks from Mrs. Beaver to Ryder to me. No one is cutting her any slack, though. Those big eyes won’t do her any good this time around.

“I just…I didn’t know she’d take it this far,” Ali bursts into tears, but I don’t give a shit. I just want answers. I want to know who would have torn apart what this pack has worked so hard to accomplish.

“Tell me now, Allison, or dragons help me, you’ll be out in the woods on your own.”

“Dead,” Ryder adds, though I wasn’t going to be quite that extreme. Excommunicating a wolf? I’m fine with that. Killing one? Not so much. Not unless the behavior was much worse. Not unless my spouse was threatened.

“It’s Tessa,” she says finally.

“I knew it!” Ryder blurts out before I glare at him.

“What about Tessa? Surely she hasn’t been doing all of this on her own.”

“No,” Allison says. “It’s why I volunteered to work in the children’s center, though. She, um, wanted me to get close to Red and tell her stuff. I didn’t though! I couldn’t. Once I got to know Red she was really nice. I didn’t want to betray her like that.”

“You did betray her, Allison. You betrayed all of us by not turning Tessa in the second you found out what she was doing.”

“I’m sorry,” Allison bursts into tears. “It’s just…I didn’t know it was going to go this far. I thought it was just some pranks. Then she started taking money and other things, though.”

“Why?” I ask.

“She wanted to cause chaos in the pack. She wanted everyone to doubt your abilities as pack leader.”

“Why? There has to be more you aren’t telling me, Allison. What else?”

“She…um…I don’t know! Okay? She didn’t tell me that.”

I’m about to growl in frustration when I take a deep breath instead. This is about the future of my pack. This is about what is going to happen to my wolves. If Tessa has some sort of cruel intentions, I need to know what they are so I can be one step ahead of her.

“Allison,” I take a deep breath. “Listen to me, okay? I know this isn’t your fault. None of it is. You can’t control what others do and I don’t hold you responsible for any of this, but I need to know where Tessa is now and what she’s planning to do next.”

“She wasn’t on the run this morning?” Allison looks surprised.

“No. Said she was sick,” Ryder pipes in.

“She wants to be the pack leader’s wife,” Allison says. Then she looks at me. “Even if that pack leader isn’t you, Alpha.”

“Tell me what that means.”

“I overheard her talking in the woods the other day. She didn’t know I followed her, but I thought something was wrong, so I did. She was meeting with Lex.”

“Lex? Why? She hates him.”

“No. She doesn’t hate him,” Allison shakes her head. “She wants him to be Alpha. Tessa was telling him he’s strong enough to challenge you, but she needed to weaken you a little bit first. You know, to make things more even so Lex would have a chance.”

“What do you mean? How did she plan to weaken me?”

“She wanted to get rid of Red so you wouldn’t have her to count on. She wanted to get rid of your mate.”