Red: Through the Dark (4 page)

Red

“Too tight, honey. It’s just too tight.” Aunt Germaine glares at me as she tugs on the brightly colored dress once more, as if this is all my fault. As if I’m the one to blame that this stupid dress is too tiny. With a growl of frustration, I step out of the gown and turn around to look at Nash’s aunt.

Her grey eyebrows rise in surprise and confusion.

“Then I need a different dress,” I say. “The diet isn’t working. I’ve been starving myself for a week now and I haven’t lost any weight.”

It’s true. I haven’t cheated on the diet at all. I haven’t sneaked cookies or soda or extra servings of food. Still, the mush diet hasn’t delivered what it promised: a thin body.

Motioning to the dress Aunt Germaine is still holding, I continue. “I know it’s tradition for the Alpha’s mate to wear this particular one, but the Alpha’s mate has, historically speaking, always been a wolf. I’m not, Auntie. I’m not and that’s okay.”

“But the dress-”

“Can be put back in storage for the next bride. Let’s stop pretending I’m somehow going to lose 20 pounds and grow six inches before the wedding.” I pat Aunt Germaine’s hand in a gentle gesture and she looks surprised, but she sighs and sets the beautiful red dress down.

“I suppose you’re right, dear,” she murmurs. “This isn’t the way we do things, but I suppose change is inevitable sometimes.”

Her words catch me off guard and I nod slowly, wondering what she’s going to say next. The truth is that this can’t have been easy on her. She’s Nash’s aunt, after all, but she expected a lot from him. She might have hoped he would save the pack, but did she know he would be the one to kill Jeffrey? Did she know he’d be dragging a scraggly-looking human back with him? Did she know he’d be mating Jeffrey’s half-sister?

Jeffrey and I might only be half-siblings, but many of the wolves who didn’t like him don’t seem to care about that. My mother never really told us what happened to Jeffrey’s dad. I don’t know if he was a one-night stand gone wrong or if they dated for awhile, but my own father raised Jeffrey as his own and I always considered him my brother.

Until we were teenagers, our lives were fine, normal. Then one day, everything changed. One day,
he
changed.

Into a monster.

“Are you all right, honey?” Germaine’s hand on my arm brings me back to reality.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I was just,” I sigh, running my hand through my dark hair. “I was thinking about my brother.”

“Oh, is that so, darling? Can I ask why you were thinking about him? I don’t mean to pry, but…”

“But he was a huge asshole who killed Elise?”

“Basically.” Her big brown eyes look sad, and I hate the fact that my brother stole away her family. I hate the time she and Nash lost with each other because he was hiding from Jeffrey. I hate the pain they’ve had to endure.

I slump into a nearby chair and look around the room filled with gorgeous flowing dresses and fabrics. This is my life now. I’m going to be Nash’s wife and I’m going to have my clothes made because nothing the wolves wear will ever fit me and besides, the closest town is too damn far to visit but maybe once a month.

I’m going to live in a cave and do wolfy things even though I’m not a wolf.

I’m going to live in the shadow of my brother because he almost destroyed this pack and now, anytime people look at me, they’re reminded of him.

They’re reminded of what he stood for.

They’re reminded of who he was and how he tore them apart.

“I was thinking that I don’t know if the pack will ever accept me,” I tell Germaine.

“Oh, sweetie.” She pats me on the leg, and it’s all I can do to keep from crying. “Everyone just needs a little time to adjust. There have been a lot of big changes around here lately.”

“I know. Nash is a great leader. He’ll get everyone in line. I know it. It’s just that…”

“Go on, you can tell me.”

“It’s just that I don’t know if I really fit in here.”

“And what makes you think that?”

“I’m fat,” I blurt out. “And I’m human. And I can’t shift. And I don’t know about the customs and traditions of the pack. How am I supposed to be a good mate to Nash if I don’t even understand the importance of running as a pack?” Ryder seems to think it will help everyone become more unified, but what about me? How am I supposed to find my place if I can’t shift and run with them?

“You’re human,” Germaine agrees with a soft sigh. She stands up and motions for me to hand her the red gown. I place it in her hands and she begins to fold it up and place it in a dress box. “No one cares if you’re fat. I just wanted you to fit in the dress. That was a silly dream of mine, and I’m sorry if I was cruel to you about your weight.”

“Um, what?” Is she actually apologizing? I’m not sure what to do. I certainly wasn’t
fishing
for an apology from Aunt Germaine, although I’m not going to complain that she gave me one.

“Sweetie, you’re exactly what this pack needs. You’re what Nash needs. You might not feel like you fit in, but we don’t need more people who fit in. We need people who stand out, who aren’t afraid to do what’s right. When Nash challenged Jeffrey for the pack, he did what was right. You both did. You stood by his side, honey. I saw you. You were with him all the way, no matter what it cost you.”

Aunt Germaine wraps me up in a warm hug and for a moment, all my thoughts and worries are completely forgotten. Then I remember I’m standing in front of Nash’s aunt and I’m in my underwear.

“Um, Aunt Germaine?” I ask, carefully pulling myself from her arms. “I need my clothes.”

“Nonsense,” she smiles. “What do you say we find you something nice for the wedding?” She asks kindly. “Something that
fits
you, hmm?”

I nod. “That sounds great.”

It sounds perfect.

***

A knock sounds at the door and Aunt Germaine stands up from where she was kneeling, placing pins in the new dress she found for me. It’s light blue and strapless. The gown falls just past my knees and reminds me of a cocktail dress, but fancier. The lace overlay makes me feel like a princess.

“Come in,” Aunt Germaine calls out, but she’s only looking at me.

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know the pack has returned from the hunt and-oh!” The voice cuts off abruptly as the woman from the meeting last week comes into view. “It’s you,” she says with a smile.

“And it’s you,” I say coolly. She wasn’t mean to me, but she was the one who warned me that Tessa has been in the pack longer than me.

“You must think I was a real bitch that morning,” she says with a grin. “I can smell your anger.”

“You can?” I ask. I’ll never get used to that. While I’m sort of getting used to the fact that Nash can smell me, it’s different when other wolves scent me. It’s so personal. I sometimes feel like I’m walking around with a giant neon sign on my forehead that’s advertising my emotions to the world around me.

Anger
it says.
Sadness
. Sometimes it flashes
Happiness.

But mostly, I think these days I’m just
Confused
.

“Yeah,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. She might not realize it, but this just makes her boobs look bigger because she’s essentially pushing them right up. An image of her offering them to me flashes through my mind, but I push it away.

The wolves are very sexually open, but I’m still human. Even if Nash was okay with me being with another girl, I doubt any of the women here would want to be with a human. It’s not really their way. It’s sort of forbidden, looked down upon.

Besides, I’m not sure if I’m comfortable enough with my own sexuality to want to experiment with a girl. Still, if I
did
want to try anything, I think I’d want it to be with someone like this woman. She’s beautiful, but she also has a bubbly personality. She seems friendly enough and she’s not scared of anything.

“I don’t think you’re a bitch,” I say, licking my lips, hoping she can’t smell my very new emotion:
Lust
. “I’m just a little bit sensitive. Tessa and I don’t really see eye-to-eye.”

“No shit,” the girl leans against the doorway. “Nobody sees eye-to-eye with Tessa.”

“Language,” Aunt Germaine scolds, and the girl stands up straight and apologizes.

“I’m Karen,” she tells me.

“Scarlett,” I say. “But most everyone calls me Red.”

“Why?”

“It just seemed like a fitting nickname because of my red cloak. I wear it all the time.” I don’t tell her my grandmother gave it to me or that it makes me feel close to her.

“Oh yeah, I noticed that. Weird, you know.”

“What’s weird?”

“Your little cape.”

“Well, maybe it makes me feel like a superhero.”

“In that case,” she turns to Aunt Germaine. “I want one, too. Can you make me one?”

“No,” Aunt Germaine says.

“Hey!” Karen protests. “Why not?”

“Do you need something or not? Because if you don’t, skidaddle.” Aunt Germaine makes a shooing motion toward the door, but Karen is unfazed and I have the distinct impression this isn’t their first dance together. Karen just smiles and turns back to me.

“Like I was saying, they’re back from the hunt.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. “If you and your man Nash need some, um,” she glances at Aunt Germaine. “Down time, or whatever, I can, um, distract Tessa for awhile.”

“You’d do that for me?” I ask, touched that this stranger would be willing to help me out. Nash and I have been experiencing a lot of interruptions lately, but they’ve always been so reasonable that I didn’t want to jump to the conclusion that Tessa was purposely sabotaging us.

That didn’t seem fair.

“Yeah, sure,” Karen waves her hand. “You seem tense. You could probably use some, um, adult time, you know.”

“I’m old, not deaf,” Aunt Germaine frowns, putting her hands on her hips. “Besides, I’m not
that
old.”

“What are you saying?” Karen grins.

“I’m saying that handsome wolf Thomas was in here just a few days ago and he-”

“Ew!” Karen screeches, plugging her ears with her fingers. “Enough, enough! I get the picture!”

Aunt Germaine just chuckles.

“Go on then,” she tells me. “Come back in a couple of days and we’ll finish the pinning.”

Giggling like a couple of schoolgirls, I allow Karen to take my hand and pull me from the room and into the hall.

It’s time to go find my man.

***

Karen comes with me to our suite, but Nash isn’t back yet.

“I’m guessing the run they’re on lasted longer than I thought it would.”

“Sometimes they do,” Karen shrugs. “Plus, we haven’t been running as a group very long. Sometimes it takes awhile to get into the swing of things.”

“Wait, why didn’t you go?” I ask. “You don’t have kids, right?”

“Nope. I’ve got something better,” she motions toward her ankle, but I don’t know what she’s trying to say until she explains. “I twisted it on the last run, so I’m out of commission. I can still walk in human form, but as soon as I shift, it’s pain city.”

“That sucks,” I murmur. “Do you want to come sit down?”

“No, I’m fine,” Karen answers, but she smiles at me, like she knows a secret. Then I remember the crazy lust signals I was sending off at Aunt Germaine’s. Damn. So much for secrets. There really aren’t any in a wolf pack, are there?

“Lounge,” Karen says, taking my hand once more. For someone who is injured, she sure has a strong grip. I manage to close the door to our suite on the way out, but then we’re off. She guides me through the hallways quite quickly, twisting and turning through different areas.

“How long have you lived here? I’d get lost if I tried to move as quickly as you. I’m always stopping to figure out which way I need to go.”

“I grew up here. Trust me: you’ll get it with time. We’ve had plenty of new members join over the years and the first month is always the hardest.”

“Do you live with your parents?”

“Dragons, no!” She says, almost shocked at the idea. “I’m an unmated female. I have my own suite.”

“I wasn’t sure how difficult it was to get your own suite,” I admit. “The caves are great, and they’re big, but is space a concern?”

“Not at all. When someone takes a mate, they move into the same suite and the empty one is used for other things. Usually another wolf who has come of age will get it. They’ll leave their parents’ suite and get a small room for themselves. Similarly, when someone starts to have kids, they’ll get a bigger suite.”

“And where do all those rooms come from?”

“When a kid moves out, the parents usually downgrade to a smaller room.”