“Then, that’s all that matters. Everything else will fall into place. I see how good you and Chelsie are together. We all see how great you are with our kids. You will make an amazing father. Of that, I have no doubt,” Kyle says. Paul and Marcus chime in their agreement and their encouragement helps me feel a little more at ease. At least, for now. I need to concentrate on Chelsie and making sure she knows how much I love her and that I’ll be with her every step of the way, even if she doesn’t want to be with me.
“The doctor said a nurse will come get you when you’re able to see Chelsie. They’re getting her settled into her room now,” Amber explains.
Great. More waiting.
My head is racing with all the questions and worries swirling around inside it. I just need Chelsie to wake up so I can hear her tell me she loves me and it’ll all be okay.
“Mr. Walker, if you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to Ms. Amell,” a nurse says. Excitement bubbles inside me knowing I’m finally going to see my girl. I follow the nurse down a long, sterile, white hallway until we reach a beige door. She stops and motions for me to enter. I take a deep breath and slowly walk through.
My heart drops when I see her lying motionless in the bed, wires and tubes connected to her everywhere, the beeping of the machines deafening. Her face is swollen and covered in bruises. The sight causes my heart to ache. This is all my fault. I make my way to the side of the bed, my hand hovering over her cheek. She looks so broken, I’m afraid to touch her. All the emotions I’ve been battling come flooding to the surface and there’s nothing I can do to keep them at bay. I fall to my knees, ignoring the sharp pain the hard floor causes. Allowing my head to fall into my hands, I let it all go. Loud sobs shake my body and I can’t stop them.
“I’m so sorry, sweet pea. What did I do to you? This is all my fault. I need you to come back to me. I love you,” I cry, praying she can hear me, hoping she’ll forgive me. I can’t bare seeing her like this. It completely breaks me.
A hand rests on my shoulder, startling me. I have no idea how long I’ve been kneeling here, crying like a baby. I slowly turn and see the nurse behind me with a chair. She smiles down at me kindly as she helps me off the floor and into the chair. When she moves to the other side of Chelsie’s bed, I slide the chair closer. I need to touch her, feel her skin on mine. Her hand is not swollen and bruised, so I take it in mine and gently run my fingers along hers.
I watch the nurse as she pulls Chelsie’s gown out from under the sheet, exposing her flat belly. Bile rises in my throat and I cringe at the sight of the bandage covering the incision just below her left rib cage. Her belly is covered in scrapes, scratches, and bruises. I’m amazed our baby could survive all that trauma. He must be a fighter, just like his mamma. An image of Chelsie with a swollen pregnant belly flashes through my mind, causing me to smile. I remember how Paul, Kyle, and Marcus always said how beautiful they thought their women were pregnant, and now I know what they meant.
The nurse walks over to a cabinet on the other side of the room and comes back with a small contraption in her hand. It looks like a speaker with some sort of wand corded to it. She must notice the questioning expression on my face.
“This is a Doppler. It’ll allow us to hear the baby’s heartbeat,” she explains, smiling at me again. “I thought maybe you could use a little cheering up.” She’s right. I need something to give me the strength to help Chelsie get through this. I have to man up and be strong for my girl and our baby. I shake my head. Wow.
Our baby
. It sounds so right.
She turns on the machine and gently glides the wand along Chelsie’s belly where I assume the baby is. Within seconds, I hear a fast-paced
whooshing
sound and instantly know what it is. My world seems to come to a complete stop. Tears fill my eyes as love and pride consume my heart. It’s the most amazing sound I’ve ever heard. The noise stops and I look up at the nurse, who’s no longer wearing a smile.
“I’ll be right back,” she says and scurries out of the room. The panic I’ve felt so much today is back in full force. Is there something wrong with our baby? My mind wanders to every bad scenario I can think of as I wait for someone to come back in here.
A doctor finally comes in along with two nurses, one pushing a large machine with a television screen. I search their faces, trying to find a clue as to what’s going on, but none of them give anything away. They say nothing as they plug in and set up the machine. One of the nurses spreads some clear gel all over Chelsie’s belly.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, finally finding the nerve. They need to tell me what’s going on.
The doctor looks at me with a slight grin. “I just want to check on something,” he says, then begins to move the wand along Chelsie’s gelled up belly. “There. Just like we thought. Take a look,” he says as he points to the screen. I’m not sure exactly what I’m seeing. The image is black and white. “See this little fuzzy spot here?” the doctor asks, pointing to a bean-shaped spot on the screen. “That is one of your babies. And this right here, is the other.” He points to another bean-shaped spot. I look from the screen to him, my jaw dragging the floor. Is he saying what I think he’s saying? “Congratulations, Mr. Walker. You’re having twins.”
Holly
I
watch Angel sitting by Chelsie’s side, just as I have every day for the last two weeks. The poor guy is going through pure hell. We can’t get him to leave for any reason. It reminds me of when I was taken from the hospital after giving birth to Hope. Angel stayed by her side and never left until Paul brought me home safely.
The last time I brought Hope by to see Chelsie, she cried and wouldn’t go anywhere near the scary looking Angel. Normally, she’d be glued to him and cry when I took her away. If I’m being honest, he looks like shit. He hasn’t shaved in two weeks and looks like a mountain man or one of the guys from that Duck Dynasty show. His hair is starting to grow out, which is odd to see—Angel is anal when it comes to his bi-weekly haircuts.
He looks up and his face is so pale and thin. He seems so broken. The only thing that brings a smile to his face these days is when the doctor does an ultrasound to check on the twins. Angel is the last person any of us expected to have a long-term relationship, let alone be a father. Not that we don’t think he’ll make a good dad, because he will, it just isn’t what any of us expected. He was so closed off before he met Chelsie. We are all holding our breath, hoping she’ll be okay. Not only because we love Chelsie, but we are all petrified of what will become of Angel if anything happens to her or the babies.
“You need to at least eat something, Angel,” I scold. He just shakes his head without taking his eyes off Chelsie. Reaching into my purse, I pull out one of the granola bars I stuffed in there earlier. He’s either gonna eat this on his own or I’m going to shove it down his throat. I pass it over to him while giving him an
I’m not playing
look.
“I’m only eating this so you get off my ass,” he snaps. I don’t care why he’s eating it, just that he is. He’s been grumpy and snappy with all of us lately. I can’t say I blame him. I understand he’s hurting and scared for Chelsie, but a bear is nicer than Angel has been lately.
“Paul is bringing you some clothes and you will take a shower and change. You’re a little ripe,” I tell him. He flips me off, causing me to laugh. At least some of his sense of humor is still intact.
Angel
I’
m relieved when Holly finally leaves. I know she and the rest of our friends mean well, but I’m tired of hearing them tell me everything will be okay. Day after day, I sit here, praying Chelsie will open her beautiful eyes, and day after day, I’m disappointed. The doctors say she’ll be fine. That she’ll wake up when she’s ready, but they can’t seem to know when that will be. I just don’t understand why she’s still unconscious.
There’s so much I need to say to her. She needs to know we’re gonna have a family and that I couldn’t be happier about it. Most importantly, she needs to know I love her and I’m sorry for being such a dick. Seeing her laying lifeless in this bed is tearing me apart. It took so much for me to open my heart to let her in. If I lost her now, I know my heart would be closed forever.
The only joy I get now is the sound of the twins’ heartbeats. Every time I hear them feels like the first time. I’ve been able to see them change and grow little by little over the last two weeks. For those brief moments, I’m able to forget about the pain. But then I remember Chelsie isn’t experiencing this with and the pain quickly returns.
When Paul comes by, I make him sit and watch over Chelsie while I reluctantly take a shower and change my clothes. The entire fifteen minutes I’m away from her, I’m a nervous wreck—terrified she’ll wake up and I’m not there by her side. But I have to admit, it makes me feel better, or, at the very least, human again.
I resume my seat by Chelsie’s side and take her hand in mine. “Sweet pea, I need you to wake up. Our babies need you to wake up. Please, baby,” I whisper, laying my head on top of our joined hands. Ever so gently, her fingers brush my cheek. I lift my head, startled by her movement, and hold my breath, waiting to see if it was just a fluke or she’s actually starting to wake up. Her eyes begin to flutter and my heart stops, excitement building in my gut. They open completely and she looks all over the room, her eyes wide eyes. After a few seconds, she focuses on me.
“Sweet pea? Can you hear me?” I ask, not recognizing the squeaky voice that comes out. Her lip trembles and tears begin to stream down her cheeks—I panic. “Are you okay? Are you in pain? Should I get the doctor?” I question frantically. She squeezes my hand, smiles, and slowly shakes her head.
“What happened? How long have I been here?” she questions. I calmly explain the accident and how I found her. I tell her she’s been here for two weeks and they had to remove her spleen. For a moment, I think back to Amber’s accident and her memory loss. Kyle and Amber went through hell until she got her memories back. I don’t think I could be as strong as they were.
“Do you remember anything, baby?” I ask. She closes her eyes, as if in pain.
“I was coming to meet you. When I tried to slow down before that big curve in the road, I couldn’t. The brakes weren’t working,” she explains, her body shaking. “I’m happy you’re here. I thought I’d lost you forever. Angel, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, you need to believe that. I love you,” she sobs. I hover over her, taking her face in my hands.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I do. You’ll never lose me, and I love you, too,” I assure her. “I know we have a lot to discuss, but it can wait until you’re out of here.” She smiles and I gently kiss her perfect lips. It feels so good to have them kissing me back. I’ve missed that. I’ve missed her—her smell, her voice, her touch. “I’ve missed you so much, sweet pea. There’s so much I need to tell you.” I sit back in my chair and scoot it as close to the bed as possible, but it still doesn’t seem to be close enough. Taking in a calming breath, I grip her hands in my own.