Redeem Me: Oakville Series:Book Four (24 page)

As we pull into the parking lot and the bus comes into view, Chelsie reaches for my hand and squeezes, holding on for dear life. I don’t blame her, I feel like doing the same thing. I’m starting to think agreeing to do this tour right now was a bad idea. I don’t think I can leave her.

“Just say you need me here and I’ll stay,” I tell her. And I will. She only needs to say the words and I’ll find someone to fill in. She smiles and quickly wipes away a falling tear.

“You have to go. We’ll be fine. We’ll miss you like crazy, but we’ll be fine. I prom—” She abruptly stops and grabs her stomach. A chill runs down my spine and fear grips my heart.

“What’s wrong, sweet pea? Are you okay?” I question, panicked. She takes my hand and places it on her belly. At that very second, my whole life changes. Against my palm is the slightest thump—a kick from one of our babies. Tears burn the back of my eyes, starting to blur my vision. When I look at Chelsie, I see her tear filled eyes and smile wide at her.

“Oh my God, that’s amazing,” I whisper, feeling them kick again. It’s my first small glimpse of what it feels like for her. Hearing the heartbeats for the first time made it all real to me, but this...this is amazing. To actually feel them, knowing it’s their little foot kicking or hand punching under my hand, is…it’s
wow
. I’m going to be a dad. But how the hell am I supposed to be a good dad when I have no fucking clue what a good dad does? I shake the negative thoughts from my head, not wanting to ruin this moment with my bullshit daddy issues.

“I’m so glad you got the chance to feel that. Now, you go on your tour and have a good time. We will be here waiting for you,” Chelsie orders. How did I get so damn lucky to end up with such an amazing woman?

“I love you, sweet pea, more than you could ever know.” Grabbing her face gently in my hands, I lean in slowly and kiss her. As our tongues begin to dance together, she lets out a soft, sexy moan. A knock on my window keeps me from getting too caught up, which is probably a good thing. A little longer, and I’m not sure I could stop myself from taking her right here in the car.

When she allows me to break apart from her, I look over and see Kyle and Paul standing at my door, shaking their heads and laughing. Amber and Holly are already pulling Chelsie out her door. When the loud girly screaming starts, I know she told them about feeling the babies kicking.

“We know leaving is hard, especially right now. We’ve both been there. You’ll be back home before you know it,” Kyle assures. I know he’s right, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. I feel like a piece of shit leaving her while she’s pregnant.

We all stand by the bus and say goodbye to our girls. It seems like this is a lot easier for the guys than it feels for me. I’m sure it isn’t, but they’ve all been through this before. I haven’t, and I’m not sure how to handle it. Chelsie leans in close, gently kisses my lips, then rests her face in my neck, her warm breath fanning over my skin.

“We’re going to miss you, Daddy,” she whispers against my ear, sending chills up my spine. This woman can turn me on without even trying. I wonder if I can convince the guys to wait maybe five or ten more minutes while I take her on a tour of the bus... “I know what you’re thinking. I can feel it against my hip.” She laughs. “You better get on that bus now before I can’t let you go. I love you.”

“I love you, too, sweet pea. I’m going to miss you like crazy,” I tell her, and reluctantly follow the others onto the bus. When we’re settled, I look out the window and see the girls huddled together. A pain shoots through my chest knowing I won’t see her again for a month. God, I hope I can hold out that long.

Chelsie

T
he last two weeks have been tough. I’ve barely spoken to Angel for more than five minutes at a time. When I do get to speak with him, he seems distracted. The most contact I’ve had with him is the videos of each show they post on their website. I’ve spoken to Amber and Holly about it and they say it’s par for the course, that their guys are normally quiet and distracted while out on the road, too. But I can’t help the disturbing thoughts that keep creeping up in the back of my mind.

I don’t know if it’s the hormones making me so insecure, the fact that I’ve gained ten pounds, or maybe it’s the way Angel was before we got together. Can a man who had no desire for a relationship, just a revolving door of fuck buddies, be faithful? He hasn’t given me any reason to think he wouldn’t be, I just can’t shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach.

And I didn’t have the feeling until I overheard Riley and her twat-faced sidekick, Jamie, talking about going to the show the guys are doing in The Keys this week. If I weren’t pregnant, I may have punched them both in their snotty little faces. I’ll have to make sure I have Holly with me next time I run into them.

Enough bad thoughts for now. There are too many things to be happy about. I’m having an ultrasound today and get to see the twins. Amber is meeting here at the doctor’s office. The girls have been great since the guys have been gone. Both of them check on me daily and make sure one, if not both, accompany me to my doctor appointments. I pull up in the parking lot, and true to form, Amber is already waiting for me.

“Hey, pregs!” Amber shouts as I get out of my car. She can always make me smile.

“Hi, Amber. Thanks for coming with me. I’m so excited to get another look at the babies.”

“Me, too. After Cody, I didn’t think I’d be able to experience any of this stuff again. Luckily, I had Holly, and now you, to live vicariously through,” Amber says, a hint of sadness in her voice. I hope none of this bothers her more than she lets on. Before she had Cody, she lost her triplets. The doctors told her Cody was a miracle and didn’t recommend her getting pregnant again. They didn’t feel it would end well for her or the baby. I can’t fathom how hard it was for her with all the difficulties they’ve had in order to have their family. Sometimes I feel guilty my pregnancy has been easy so far.

“If any of this is too much for you, I’ll understand,” I tell her. I’m so grateful for all she does for me, but I don’t want it causing her any pain. She stops before opening the door and turns to me. Smiling, she places a hand on my belly.

“I’m loving every minute of this. I’ll never be over our loss, but I’ve dealt with it. I thank God every day for giving us our little boy. Now, it’s your turn, and I’m so glad you are allowing me to be a part of it with you.” I can still see sadness in her eyes. Not from being here with me, but from the terrible loss she’s suffered. I get what she’s saying. I can’t imagine it’s something anyone could ever fully get over. One day, you just wake up and decide to move on and live your life. She’s so incredibly strong.

The doctor’s visit goes smoothly. Everything is right on schedule. The babies are doing fine. I had planned on waiting to find out the sex of the babies until Angel came home, but being the awesome boyfriend he is, he said to go ahead. I can’t wait to call and tell him what we saw. It’s exactly as I’d hoped, and I think he’ll be excited, too. After saying goodbye to Amber, I rush to my car so I can call Angel.

My hands are shaking with excitement as I dial his number. My heart drops when it goes straight to voicemail. I leave a quick message telling him all went well at the doctor and to call me when he can.

It’s the middle of the afternoon, so I know he’s not doing a show. Plus, he knew about this appointment and said he couldn’t wait to hear how it went. This is just another thing that has my mind wandering to a bad place. I keep telling myself there’s only two more weeks to go. I can handle two more measly weeks. Right? I’m not so sure I can. The thought of all those women throwing themselves at him makes me want to hurl. What guy would be able to turn that down?

I start my car and head for home. I wish I didn’t feel this way. I want to believe Angel wouldn’t cheat on me, and for the most part, I do. Then his not-so-distant past pops into my mind and I’m reminded of why I thought getting involved with him was a bad idea in the first place.

When I get home, I change into my comfy yoga pants and favorite t-shirt. Amber gave it to me. It has one of those “baby on board” signs pictured on it, only this one says “babies on board”. Angel always makes fun of me, saying it’s corny, but I don’t care, I love it. And just like that, my thoughts are back on Angel, who still hasn’t bothered to call me back.

Angel

I
feel my phone vibrate and roll over in my bunk. When I see it’s Chelsie, I send it straight to voicemail. I’m not in the right headspace to talk. Since we didn’t have a show last night, I decided to confront my father. Kayleigh reluctantly gave me his address before I left on tour and we just happened to be driving through Tampa where he lives, so I figured it would be a good time to get the answers I’ve needed. Now, I wish someone would have stopped me.

We park the bus in a Wal-Mart parking lot across from a rental car place. I don’t want to roll into some neighborhood with a huge ass tour bus, so I figure renting a car is the best way to go. I’m a little nauseous knowing I’ll soon be face to face with the man who left us all without a second thought. Becoming a dad myself, I just can’t imagine walking out on Chelsie and the babies. How could he do it?

I punch the address into the GPS and I’m on my way. The closer I get, the more nervous I am. I wonder if he’ll know who I am. Will he be happy to see me? Will I even get the answers I need so badly? Maybe I should have taken Kyle and Paul up on their offer to come with me. I didn’t because if things go badly, I don’t want them seeing it—hell, I don’t want to see it. I’m just not good at being vulnerable. I already feel like a little kid and I haven’t even seen the asshole yet.

When I pull into the stone driveway, I’m a little floored. It’s huge, and not what I expected. Knowing Kayleigh, I assumed it would be nice, but I pictured a more modest home. This place is a mini mansion. The lawn is perfectly green and landscaped. The house looks to be a U shape with double garages on each end. The entryway in the center is majestic with its etched glass doors and carved columns.

A twinge of anger, and maybe a little jealousy, hits me. It’s not like I grew up in a dump, but I always pictured him in one. I thought maybe he didn’t come back for us because he couldn’t afford to. Seeing this house crushes that theory. I take a deep breath before stepping out of the car. No matter what happens today, I need to keep my cool. I have to remember he’s the perfect father to Kayleigh. I don’t want to do something to hurt her, even if that means holding my tongue.

Slowly, I walk to the door and ring the bell. Beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead, and they are not from the Florida heat. The door opens, revealing an older woman dressed in a maid’s uniform. Bile creeps up my throat and the anger flares.