Redemption (20 page)

The irony hit her: For years she had searched out role models for her son, and now that the perfect one had arrived on the scene, she wished him a thousand miles away.

It was the effect he had on her, not her son, which set off alarms in her mind.

Just a word of praise from Matt meant more than any job promotion, a feeling she wasn’t at all sure she liked.

Or deserved, for that matter.

Chapter Thirteen

L
ATER
T
HAT
N
IGHT
, in his bed surrounded by notes, Matt tossed down the copy of the script he was trying to read. It was no use; there was no way he could concentrate on the action he was planning to film tomorrow.

Now that his anger with Claire had died down, he couldn’t get over the fact he was a father.

He leaned back against the pillow. His son was a nice-looking kid, too. The resemblance to himself at that age was unmistakable, though Tripper’s hair was a little darker, his features a little sharper. He also bore a striking resemblance to Ben, Mark’s son. Of course, they were cousins. In fact, Tripper had a total of seven first cousins he had never met, plus aunts, uncles—and grandparents.

He was certain of his parents’ reaction when they eventually found out. Harold and Joyce would welcome a new grandchild, no questions asked. As firmly grounded as the rugged mountains to the west, they had raised all four of their children with strict Lutheran values, and though his scrapes as a youngster had often tried their patience, their support had never wavered.

His fame had failed to impress any of them. When he screwed up, they were the first to tell him. They were immensely proud of him, but he often suspected they would have felt the same way if he had stayed in Montana and run his dad’s feed store.

Whenever the inflated egos and plastic values of Hollywood got to him, he escaped to Montana. The fact that he arrived in a private jet made no difference; once there, he was simply another rancher in a four-wheel drive.

He picked up the phone on his nightstand and punched the code for his brother in Great Falls.

His sister-in-law answered. Matt returned her greeting. “Hey, Mel. It’s me.”

“Matt! How are you? Stacy! Go get your dad out in the barn. Tell him Uncle Matt’s on the phone.” Matt could almost see Mel in her big kitchen, directing dinner cleanup with her usual efficiency. “How’s the movie going? Mark said you just about had the exterior shots wrapped up.”

“They’re all in the can now. From here on out, it’s indoor recess.”

“Well, that’s good, I guess. By the way, we were out at your place this past weekend. Randy’s going to have the new fences put in as soon as the weather breaks.”

“Maybe I’ll get out there by the time the snow melts. So far we’ve stuck to our shooting schedule. Unless post production holds us up,” he added, wondering if he could get Tripper out during spring break. But the thought of Claire’s reaction nearly killed the idea.

He heard Melinda’s voice, directed away from the phone. “Ben! Don’t let that dog in unless you give him a bath first!”

Matt was used to the constant activity at his brother’s house. His own home seemed lifeless compared to their Montana version of the Brady Bunch.

“Here’s Mark. I’ll talk to you later, Matt.”

Mark’s quiet voice came on the line. “What’s up?”

“Just need some advice, big brother. It was either you or my lawyer. I figured you had more experience when it came to fatherhood.”

There was silence on the other end. “Mark? You there?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m just recalling that talk I had with you out in the barn, right before you took Susie Campbell to the freshman dance.”

“I thought it was behind the feed store, before homecoming with Valerie Parker.”

“Must’ve had to do it more than once. You want me to run through it again, or have you got the particulars straight now?”

“They’re straight, all right. In fact, you had me too scared to touch a girl for about six months after one of those talks.”

“Glad to know it worked. I had one with Andy the other day. Hope he got the message as well as you did.”

“I don’t know if I’d say that.” Matt chuckled. “I had a little bit of a surprise the other day. Maybe I should say a big surprise—about the size of a nine-year-old boy, as a matter of fact.” He paused to let that sink in, picturing his brother’s face.

He heard a heavy sigh. “Maybe you should call your lawyer, after all. If you’re being sued, I can’t help you much.”

“I’m not being sued. In fact, she didn’t want me to know at all. I found out by accident.” He explained the whole story, only leaving out exactly who the mother was.

Mark’s reply was measured. “It sounds to me like you’re ready to take responsibility here, whether the mother wants you to or not.”

“This kid is my son. It may be a little late to start playing daddy, but he deserves at least to know who his father is.”

“Maybe so, but that’s a lot to spring on a kid. You might want to go slow with him. I know you, Matt. Yesterday is always too late for you. Give the boy some time. Give the mother some time. Sounds like she hardly knows you.”

“Yeah, well, other than in the biblical sense, I don’t really know her either. She’s changed a hell of a lot since I was involved with her.”

“Then you want my advice? Get to know her and your son. Leave the lawyers out of it. If this kid is really yours—”

“He’s really mine.” Matt couldn’t say why he was so sure, other than the family resemblance. It was a gut feeling, maybe, but one he’d stake his life on.

“Then,” Mark reassured him, “I expect things will work out.”

Matt hung up the phone, then noticed Sadie looking pleadingly up at him. As he walked downstairs to let her out, he realized he had the perfect excuse to see Tripper on a regular basis.

He just hoped Claire liked dogs.

Claire didn’t know which made Tripper more excited: the news that Matt was dropping by again this evening, or that he was offering Tripper a job dog sitting.

He had called her at work, and she had tentatively agreed to his plan. She wanted to discuss it with Tripper first, though, to make sure he was up to the responsibility.

Tripper had no qualms. “You did say we could maybe get a dog.”

“I said a ‘pet.’ A rambunctious golden retriever isn’t quite what I had in mind.” She set her briefcase on the desk in the kitchen. The reports she’d brought home to read could wait until after Tripper went to bed.

“Please, Mom. I’ll take good care of her. You’ll never even know she’s in the house, I promise.” His hopeful expression would have moved Scrooge, and the idea of having another female companion around, even one of another species, was oddly appealing.

When Matt appeared at the door twenty minutes later, a sack of dog food in one hand and a leash in the other, Claire could see the matter was settled.

“Come on in,” she told him, opening the door wide to accommodate them. At the sight of the dog, Claire could feel her heart melting. With a coat the color of cookie dough and chocolate puddles for eyes, Sadie was comfort food on four legs.

Tripper immediately dropped to a worshipful pose in front of her, and Claire was left to deal with Matt, who stood grinning down at her.

“Okay. What’s the verdict?” he asked, and Claire was sure he knew full well he had won another round in the battle they seemed to be continually waging. But this time the spoils might just go to her.

She nodded toward the floor, where her son was on the receiving end of the ancient canine friendship ritual. She hoped it was true that dog saliva was harmless. “She can stay. I can’t say no to true love, can I?”

He smiled approvingly. “You’re learning.”

Matt went back to his car, a four-wheel drive he’d rented, to get the water bowl and food dish. When he came back in, she was on the floor, stroking Sadie’s head. “She’s really beautiful, Matt,” she said, glancing up at him. “I’m sure Tripper will take good care of her. He’s been wanting a dog for some time. I told him we’d think about getting a pet this summer.”

Tripper scrambled to his feet and took the food from him. “My friend David has a dog, so I know a lot about taking care of them already. How often do you think she’ll need to go out?”

As Matt and Tripper discussed the specifics of dog care, Claire filled the water dish in the kitchen. She found a convenient spot for it next to the refrigerator.

When she stood up, Matt was in the doorway, watching her with a satisfied look on his face. “This will be a perfect excuse to come out here occasionally to see him, but personally I liked my first idea better.”

It took her a moment to figure out he was referring to his plan to “date” her. She frowned. “I don’t think you’d find me very good at playing that particular role anymore.” Then she glanced past him toward the living room. “Where’s Tripper?” she asked, fearing he would overhear their conversation.

“I sent him out on a walk. I wanted to talk to you, make sure this is really all right.”

“Of course it is. I would tell you if I had any objections.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Having had my ass blistered with your objections before, I have no doubt of that.”

Claire resisted the urge to tell him perhaps she should have objected a little more frequently in her past dealings with him. Instead she smiled and said, “Actually, I like the idea of having a dog around. We had a cat in San Francisco, but she died shortly before we left.”

He leaned against the counter. “A kid needs a pet or two hanging around. One day I’d like to get him his own horse. My niece Jenny keeps one out at my place, rides it when they come out. There’s plenty of room to keep a couple more. Maybe when you all come out for a visit this summer—”

“Hold it.” She held up her hand. “Aren’t you getting the cart a little ahead of the horse, so to speak? I haven’t said we were going anywhere this summer, and he’s only nine years old. Much too young to have his own horse, no matter who his father is or how big your barn is.” Her voice rose as her heart tripped on the idea of her son spending more time with Matt.

“Calm down,” Matt said, putting a placating hand on her shoulder. “I’m not about to spoil him rotten just to make up for the years I’ve lost. That’s what you’re afraid of, isn’t it? That I can offer him more than you can, and he might come to prefer his long-lost dad?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” She glared at him, not willing to admit there might be a grain of truth in what he was saying.

He looked away, dragging his hand through his hair and standing the short strands on end. Just like Tripper’s, Claire realized, right after he got out of the shower.

“Claire, I’m trying to reassure you, not piss you off. There’s not a chance in the world he’s going to see me as anything but an absentee father, regardless of how many basketball games I take him to or how many pets I give him. You’re his mother, and you’ve been there for him from the beginning. That won’t change when he finds out I’m his dad.”

Claire gathered her arms around her chest, protecting herself from his words, from her fears…

He reached toward her, but she turned away. She didn’t want him reading her, didn’t want his sharp director’s vision seeing the fear she couldn’t tamp down.

“You promised Tripper wouldn’t find out anything right away,” she said to the refrigerator in the corner. “You can see him whenever you want, just don’t let him suspect. Please.”

“It’s hardly likely he’ll suspect anything. He thinks you and I just met.”

“Then you’ll have to be careful not to let on you knew me before.”

“That shouldn’t be hard to do. You hardly seem like the same person.”

She glanced back at him and saw his gaze rake over her.

“I still can’t get over how much you’ve changed,” he said. “It’s as if you went and got a whole new identity from the witness protection program.”

Her face hardened. “You’ve changed a lot yourself. The difference is, you’ve had yours documented in the media. I’ve managed to avoid that, but when they discover who I am, my life will be a living hell. You’ve got to give me time to figure out a way to deal with that.” She swallowed, close to panic.

Matt sighed patiently. “I’ve got a publicist who gets paid to generate publicity about me and likewise keep my name out of as many tabloids as she can. That will include you and Tripper, when the time comes. I intend to make this as painless as possible, for all of us.”

She gave him a bitter smile. “The truth is bad enough, Matt. There’s not a lot anyone can do to cover the fact that I kept your child from you for ten years.”

His mouth twisted in a grimace of regret. “No, and there’s not a lot anyone can do to hide the fact that I wasn’t a very responsible human being back in those days. I got you pregnant while I was practically engaged to someone else, then let you dangle in the ill wind while I holed up in Montana. I think we’ll come out about even in the court of public opinion, don’t you think?”

She gaped at him. “So you think we can just forgive and forget? Just like that?”

“I’m not holding a grudge. I thought I made that clear.” He met her gaze squarely, and in his green eyes she noticed something she would almost label tenderness.