Redemption (9 page)

She had earphones on and hummed softly to herself, though I was sure the other passengers couldn’t hear her. Her feet, in high-top shoes, were propped up on the side of the seat in front of her. Thick gray and black striped socks covered her legs up past her knees and where they ended, a brown leather notebook covered her bare legs. She chewed on the end of her pen. A glance around at the other passengers on the train told me there was no one else quite like her. For some reason, this pleased me.

She got off at Peel, a station only a few blocks from my home, and I followed her to an old high school made of stone. I paused at the iron-worked gates and watched her walk up the steps to the front door. She stopped to talk to a boy, and I wondered if there was a story there.

After she entered the building, I turned around to go back home and decide on my next course of action. Trailing her wasn’t providing any answers, and all talking to her had established was that she didn’t appear to know anymore than I did. But still I wasn’t wrong about her, there was a certain way she kept her essence shielded that wasn’t entirely normal.

There was more to learn about her.

13

Aude

On my lunch break, I use my cell phone to quiz the people from the drumming workshop about where I could get my hands on a water drum. It’s crazy, but it’s the only clue I have to go on. Anyways, it’s useful for Lucid Pill—maybe I’ll become a sort of Van Gogh of the music world.

A cheerful woman informs me that though they lend drums for the workshop, they always bring a bunch of them to sell, along with some other merchandise. She describes the workshop for me and it doesn’t take much to convince me to register for it. Talk about good salesmanship, I’m not even the drummer. The combination of drum and workshop will cost me about two weeks of my crappy salary, and I wonder if I made a mistake. But I need answers and I have no other clue to go by. I also have to admit it’s been a while since I diversified musically and I’m looking forward to it.

Pleased with myself, I turn up the music on my iPod, and return to the cafeteria. I try to get a head start on my homework, but I’m distracted. Pictures of Guillaume’s guarded smile intrude into my thoughts and make me smile despite myself. I reach for my phone again. I want to ask Lucy for her opinion, but I let the phone drop back on my lap. I don’t know how to even broach the subject with her. There’s no precedent. Anyways, she’ll read more into it than there is.

At this moment, I feel the distance between Lucy and me acutely. It’s like I don’t know how to talk to her anymore. I have all these things to say and no way to say them. I wonder if she feels the same way. Probably not, she has Trick.

I cross my legs and pick up my notebook to write:

That’s when he smiled at me,
And it became hard to see,
Why I should never ever let myself feel.
And with his eyes on me,
I wished I could be free,
And for once really let myself fall.

I chew on the end of my pen while I look at the words that form bubbly, happy strokes on the paper. It’s like I can’t write anything but bad poetry when I’m upset. None of it feels right. Not the words, not my writing, and certainly not the sentiment conveyed. I let myself feel; I feel all sorts of things. I’ve just never found a reason to feel strongly about a guy.

I’m not interested though. Both of the brothers are hot, but that in itself is not enough. They have an intensity I’ve never seen before. Like they are hungry for life. And Guillaume has a mysterious aloofness that is sort of difficult to ignore. But I can’t start thinking of him this way. It’s too much of a distraction.

Lucid Pill is the only thing that is important.

14

Guillaume

She sprang down the steps, called out something behind her, and adjusted her backpack. I remained out of view and followed her. The only way my plan would work was if I could make her believe she ran into me—and not the other way around. From what I had learned of her, she seemed to be the suspicious type. This investigation wasn’t going as planned, but I hadn’t yet given up hope. I was sure her role in our awakening was pivotal.

I liked the way she walked. It was quick, and her stride had a purpose to it. She didn’t simply meander like many of her generation did. She had a destination in mind, and the way she set about to reach it, wherever it was, had made it intriguing.

She ducked into what appeared to be a random door. On both sides of the door were storefronts, but this entry led to a step of stairs to reach the spaces above the stores. A music-lesson studio. Yet, Aude wasn’t carrying any instruments. A notice caught my attention: “Help Wanted: Music Teachers. Apply Within.”

I wondered if I should risk it. Though she was aware I played the piano, the timing of us both being there to apply at the same time was too convenient. I would apply later, and if she was not also hired, I would quit the job.

I waited out of sight for several minutes, becoming fidgety in my ever-recurring role of watcher. The moment she came out, her phone rang and she glanced at the display and picked it up.

“Hi Lucy,” she said.

“Sure, I’ll come to your work.”

“See you soon.”

It seemed I needed to get to Café Bohémien before she did. I would come back to apply for the music teacher job later.

15

Aude

“Has he been there for a long time?” I ask Lucy, referring to Guillaume who I’ve spotted sipping on a frothy coffee in the far corner.

“No, he got here just a few minutes ago.”

I’m sure he is here hoping to see me; it would be too much of a coincidence otherwise. I take a deep breath and go to confront him.

“Are you following me?”

“No, I was here first, didn’t you notice?” His mouth sports a slight smirk.

“Yes, but you obviously knew I’d be here.”

“No, I didn’t know, but I had hoped you would be here.”

His smile is warm and charming. He seems harmless, and I’m usually a good judge in character.

“Would you sit with me?”

“I’m here to see Lucy,” I explain.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” she shouts to me from her spot behind the pastry display.

I look at Lucy then turn back to Guillaume. I sit in front of him and lean forward to whisper, “She’s curious about you, you know? I think she’s wondering what your intentions are.”

“And you?”

“Me what?”

“Are you curious about me?”

I don’t know how to answer that. Of course I’m curious. I know why I’m still here. Like the drums, he is a clue, but I can’t very well say that. So I say the obvious, “Of course I wonder what your intentions are. Why are you even here?”

When I lean back to take a more relaxed air, I knock my backpack off the chair’s arm and it falls to the ground emptying half its contents. Smooth move. I’m not normally the awkward type.

He kneels to help me pick everything up and pauses as he hands me my notebook.

“You did this?” he asks pointing to the design of hearts, thorns, flowers, and scribbles in blue, black, and red ink.

“I like to doodle,” I say.

“This is nicer than just doodling,” he says. “I really like it.”

“Thanks. It’s the logo I drew for Lucid Pill. I hope to get it put on some T-shirts one day.”

Our fingers touch as I take the book from his hand. I don’t know why it matters, but it does.

“So a musician and an artist, any other hidden talent? Maybe witchcraft?” His tone and lips indicate he is teasing, but his eyes appraise me with a freaky intensity.

“I’m afraid I’m a little rusty with the magic stuff,” I joke in response.

I notice the pamphlet for the water drum workshop lies on the floor and bend forward to pick it up. He gets it first.

He studies it.

“Native drumming workshop?”

“Do you always go through people’s private things?”

“Only when they are as mysterious as you are, Aude Vanier.”

I don’t remember telling him my last name, and then realize it was right there on my notebook for him to see. I’m not that mysterious after all.

“A shaman will lead participants through a history of the water drum using traditional storytelling,” he reads from the pamphlet before handing it to me.

I can’t hide my enthusiasm. “It sounds cool, doesn’t it?”

“Actually, yes, it sounds very interesting.”

Lucy places a chai latte in front of me. “Almost done, sorry it’s taking so long. Have this while you wait.”

I look at her suspiciously and she returns to her place behind the counter. She seems very idle and I’m sure she’s just pretending to be working overtime while she buys me time with Guillaume.

I look at him, and wonder if I should be mad at her or grateful.

“I was wondering if you would find it strange … I mean, would you mind if I came along?” he asked.

“Along? Along where?”

“The drumming workshop.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it really does sound interesting.”

“It’s kind of expensive,” I say. Then realize how stupid that must sound to someone like him.

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

I study him for a while, wondering what his motives were. Does he like me? Like a crush? Or is he really just lonely and in need of a friend? He does seem to be the intellectual type and maybe he’s just interested in the educational aspect of the workshop. No, there’s more than that.

“Umm sure … as long as you understand this isn’t … you know … a date or anything, okay?”

He laughs. “All right.”

Although a date is the last thing I want, I’m surprised that I almost feel disappointed at how easily he accepted that this wasn’t a date. Maybe he doesn’t like me after all.

16

Guillaume

I checked the clock for the twelfth time. I looked forward to meeting Aude for the drumming workshop since it had the potential to bring me so much closer to the answers I wanted. She was the key to finding out how to replenish our essence.

I stood in front of my floor-length mirror buttoning the cuffs of my sleeves when Garnier entered my room. In the reflection, I saw him raise an eyebrow at me.

“You’re looking very dashing, brother. What’s the big event?” he asked.

“The big event? I’m going to that drum workshop.”

Garnier’s smirk grew into a teasing grin. “Ah ha, you have a rendezvous with Aude.”

“She made it quite clear it was nothing of the sort,” I said.

He should have been well aware that I wasn’t interested in any sort of romance. Romance required feelings I wasn’t capable of.

“Loosen up, Guil. You need to stop taking everything so seriously.”

I glowered at him and stepped out of my room, after taking a last glance at my reflection. I wanted to make sure I was dressed appropriately for this event.

On the train, I fidgeted with the flier Aude had given me, the one for the workshop. I rolled it up and folded it in different shapes, then put it away. Instead, I tapped my fingers, first against the sides of my seat, and then on the thick plastic windows that someone had engraved with the name
Claudia
. I wondered if she was the one who put her name there or if someone felt the need to engrave this girl’s name to immortalize her, or his feelings for her. I traced the name with my finger. This was nothing but a name on a structure that would not last forever. I withdrew my hand. The graffiti was pointless.

I arrived early at the subway station where we planned to meet, but she was already there.

“Hi.” She played with a strand of her hair. It was pulled back in a messy ponytail, and she was wearing less make-up than usual. She was dressed casually and I found myself appreciating the look, noticing how the thick knit sweater hugged her body. A smile sneaked its way to my mouth.

“Hi.”

She looked at me, waiting for me to say something else, but I said nothing. I wasn’t sure why I was even here. I could have trailed her to get the answers I wanted. Surely that would have been easier than this interaction.

“Shall we go?” she asked.

“Lead the way,” I said to her finally.

The room used for the event was vast and empty. Normally used for athletic events, it had lines drawn on the floor. A man motioned for us to sit down inside of a green circle in the center of the room. He didn’t look straight at me, his attention on Aude, instead. This was a good thing. I could sense power in him, and most shamans should be able to identify the essence within me. Many would even know me for what I am, a gargoyle. I wouldn’t have come here if I had realized how close it would bring me to an actual medicine man.

We were late. A group of about twenty people already sat in a semicircle on the floor and once we joined them, the man began his narrative.