Redemption (Night Marchers #2) Written by: Rebecca Gober and Courtney Nuckels (4 page)

"Tristan," I say softly. I’m in complete awe
of his story. Not so much the story itself, but the way he put his
heart on his sleeve. I want to comfort him but I have no idea how.
After all I’m in the same exact position as him. Both of us need to
save someone, a Night Marcher. Tristan obviously isn't aware though
how unnervingly similar our stories are to each other.

He sits back down in front of me. His
aquamarine eyes look as if they are trying to stare into my soul.
"Emma, you are what matters to me. Out there...tonight, I couldn't
imagine what I would have done..." His voice breaks and the look on
his face has me on the verge of tears.

"Tristan..." I barely choke out as well.

"No, let me finish. I don't know if you got
my letter, I don't know much of anything. I haven't pressured you
to tell me anything that happened while you were missing. But, I've
felt disconcerted since you've been back. I don't know if you know
how I truly feel. Then, tonight when those
things
were
coming...and you were stuck. I just couldn't bare to know that
anything could happen to you or to me without you knowing..."
Tristan puts his finger under my chin pulling my gaze back up to
his. "Emma, I
love
you." He stares into my eyes as if he
could imprint those words on my heart with a single look. Before I
can respond or look away his lips come crashing down on mine with a
fierceness that I have never felt from Tristan before. His hand is
perched behind my head as if he wants to make sure that I don't
pull away. With my heart beating fast and a million butterflies
doing the waltz in my stomach, I'm swept up in the moment. Closing
my eyes, I let go of all of the anxieties that rest on my shoulder
and allow myself to do what I know I will regret later. As if
sensing my submission, his hand relaxes moving down to my back and
our kiss becomes increasingly gentler as we melt into each
other.

Tristan is the first to pull away, both of us
a little breathless. He rests his forehead on mine and we both take
a moment to allow the dizziness and frantic heartbeats to settle.
This is when it really hits me. I'm kissing Tristan, who just
confessed his love to me but what about Kai? I haven't even told
Tristan about him. I'm so confused and I have no idea what my
feelings mean. When I'm with Tristan I feel amazing and safe. When
I'm with Kai, I feel that intense electricity and I know deep down
that Kai would do anything for me.
He already has.
They both
love me. How? Why? I'm not even sure if I love either of them. I’m
not sure if I have ever been in love before, so how could I know
what it feels like? All I know is that I feel so good with both of
them. That can't be right! I do know one thing right now; I am a
horrible person! How can I do this to two men that I care for
deeply? I don’t deserve either of them at all! I pull away from
Tristan putting a little bit of distance between us.

Tristan cuts me off from my self-bashing,
"Emma, did I upset you? What's wrong?" He must have taken my
distancing myself for being something he did, which makes me feel
even more horrid.

Looking into his amazingly beautiful blue
eyes, I’m filled with sincerity. Thinking about how wretched I am
leaves me speechless. Gazing down, the waterworks begin and I can't
hold back my tears anymore.

"Emma, it's okay..." I look up and it's as if
tonight's events spring to his mind alerting him of an unanswered
question. His body goes rigid, "Emma...
Why
did you fight
against me when I was trying to save you from the Night
Marchers?"

I look up at him and I can't help myself, my
sobbing just increases. I know I look like a blubbering fool but I
don't know what to say or where to start. I still haven't spoken to
anyone about what happened when I was gone and I’m still harboring
a massive amount of guilt. I just don't know if I'm ready to lay
everything on the table yet.

Tristan braces both of his arms on my
shoulders and I begin to wonder if he's going to shake me. He
doesn't though, he just says seriously: "It's okay Emma, you can
tell me..." He exhales a shaky breath, as I'm sure the thought
popping into his head is an unpleasant one. "Tonight is not the
first night you have seen the Night Marchers...Am I right?" Tristan
reaches his hand up towards my hair and lifts it out of my eyes in
a tender gesture.

My crying becomes more frantic as I think of
what transpired and how I could word everything that has happened
to me. I pull away and stand up turning away from Tristan trying to
privately compose myself. If I were not so emotionally exhausted I
would be worried about how bad my eyes look right now or if my
mascara is running everywhere. I have no energy to worry though. I
wipe my eyes and take a few shaky breaths. Finding it easier if I
don't look at Tristan when I confess. I answer him in a simple,
"No." I don't turn around when I hear Tristan take a deep breath.
It's now or never so I continue. "When you left town I went to the
waterfall that you took me too. I was just going to hang out a
while and enjoy the scenery but I ended up falling asleep, thinking
that a quick nap wouldn't hurt anything. The sound of the falls was
peaceful and easily lulled me to sleep..." Tristan put his hand on
my back, but I just take a step forward letting his hand fall away.
I can't bare his comfort right now; I won't be able to finish this.
"When I woke up, it was dark. I tried to find my way out but I
wasn't prepared. I had no light and I still was rusty on how to get
back to my car. Using my cell phone light I tried to find the path
I took to get there. I ran into someone in the woods that night, a
man. Kai..." I whisper his name. To hear it spoken out loud is
nearly unendurable and to discuss Kai with Tristan makes it all the
worse. Guilt pulses through me as I hunt deep down for the courage
I’ll need to finish this conversation. I knew it had to happen
sometime; I also knew I would never be fully prepared to handle it.
I’m still not, but I continue anyway. "He was going to help me,
find my way to my car but that's when we heard it...the drums. He
knew what they meant. He grabbed my hand and hurried me away from
them. We ran out into a clearing and hid behind a boulder. I saw
them, the Night Marchers. It was just like you described, stomach
churning. Kai..." I take a deep breath. "He tried to shield me from
them, but I didn't know not to..." I turn around and look at
Tristan now. He's stunned and the look on his face is filled with
worry and perhaps a tinge of defeat. Like he failed me somehow by
not being there for me. Which makes me feel even worse. I keep
going though. "I looked one of them in the eyes. I couldn't avert
my gaze. It was as if I was caught in the Night Marcher's web. It
all happened so fast after that. Kai was running with me and the
Night Marcher was chasing me trying to kill me. I didn't know why.
We barely escaped it by tumbling down a steep hill. I hurt my leg
severely and ended up passing out from the pain." Tristan's face
flinches when I mention the last part.

"When I woke up I was with Kai and he told me
about the curse and how the Night Marcher would not stop hunting me
until I was either dead or one of them. It wasn't safe for me to go
home. We went on the run trying to find a way to break the curse.
A...um...group, of Kai's friends took us in." I can't think of how
to describe the Menehune's right now, nor do I know if talking
about them would be like sharing a sacred secret. "One of them in
particular helped us a lot, Adam, he is the one I was going after
tonight. He is in danger and I need to help find him." I feel
horrible that only now, am I remembering the mission I was
originally on tonight. Seeing the Night Marchers and knowing that
Kai was near was all it took for me to completely switch gears to
wanting to save Kai. But, I know that in order to save Kai, I will
need the Menehune's help...Adam's help. Tears start coming to my
eyes when I think of how Paul looked when he came to me: beaten,
bruised and terrified. My stomach rolls with dread at the thought
of what condition Adam is in right now.

I blink away my tears and look at Tristan who
is waiting patiently but I can tell he's struggling with wanting to
comfort me. I appreciate that he knows I need to keep going and
that I don't need to be coddled at this moment. I continue.
"Anyhow, Adam and his friends did some research and thought they
found a way. If I could kill the Night Marcher myself, I could
break the curse. I tried, but it didn't work."

Tristan's face is outraged. "What? You went
after a Night Marcher by yourself? How could that man, Kai you say,
let you do something like that? Or this Adam for that matter! What
Idiots! When I get my hands on them Emma!"

I have never seen Tristan this worked up
before. In this instance it makes me rather pissed off! He doesn't
know Kai or Adam...he doesn't know what happened. I calm down when
I think of that fact. He doesn't know so it's understandable that
he’s upset. I still try to make him understand though that it's not
their fault. "
First
of all, they are not idiots! Adam only
relayed to me the research he found and Kai,
he
didn't want
me to go after them Tristan. In fact I had to sneak away from him
to go after the Night Marcher on my own. And in the end Kai saved
my life.
He took my place
!" I yell the last part out so
loudly it bounces off the cave walls repeating itself several times
in a muzzled expression. I look away now, tears flowing again. I
can't bare it, thinking about how Kai sacrificed himself for me. I
relive it in my mind over and over, and each time hurts as much as
the last, if not more.

Turning to look at Tristan I see that he is
speechless and a little confused. I can't take it. I can't take
being here right now. I can't take looking at Tristan and seeing
the questions in his eyes. I can't deal with this. Before I break
down entirely I turn on my heal and run with all of my might away
from the cave and away from Tristan who calls after me. Away from
my thoughts and the pain that I feel when I think about Kai. The
rain hasn't let up any but I don't care. I run through mud and
water puddles, splashing my shoes and pants with muck. The rain
soaks my drying hair again and sends water droplets streaming down
my face and into my eyes. It doesn’t matter though, because running
feels good; it’s the one thing in my life right now that I can
control. Even though every breath sends needles of shock through my
chest it feels amazing. Like if I can just keep running, I will
eventually run off all of my worries and anxieties.

"Emma! Emma, please!" I can hear Tristan
pleading to me from a few yards back. Guilt finally catches up with
me as I think about how I'm making him chase after me in the rain.
We had finally started to dry up by the fire and now the two of us
are soaked to the bone once again. As if I don't have enough guilt
weighing on me, now I could cause one of us to get sick from being
out in this weather.

I stop running abruptly. My breathing is
labored as I try to calm my heartbeat down. The air has turned cold
and my breath sends smoke signals drifting into the night sky.
Standing still sends my body into shivers, but I don’t seem to
notice. I just stand there numb, emotionally and physically.

I slowly turn towards Tristan who is still
calling my name. Instead of waiting for him to catch up to me, I
meet him half way. In an accepting silence, Tristan puts his arm
around my shoulder and leads me back through the woods to the cave.
The rain pelts us so hard on the trip back that I walk most of the
way with my head down and my eyes closed. Feeling depleted, I just
allow Tristan to lead me, trusting that he will get me to where I
need to go.

Back in the cave we wring out our clothes the
best we can, then sit next to each other in front of the fire. Both
of us lean our backs against the wall and stare silently at the
flames. Personally, I've seen enough flames to last me a lifetime,
but there isn't much else to stare at since Tristan and I are
avoiding looking at one another.

An hour passes, all the while, the silence
continues. The pounding rain and the crackling fire that Tristan
has kept going, by periodically adding wood, is beginning to lull
me to sleep. Just as I close my eyes and nearly submit to sleep, I
hear Tristan break the silence. "Emma?" He whispers.

"Yes?" I say groggily. We both continue to
avoid eye contact. Subconsciously, I'm sure we both are aware of
the conversation that we would eventually need to have.

"Kai...Is he," I can tell Tristan is
considering how to word his question and is trying to tread
carefully. "What is he to you?"

"What is he to me?" I ask back, pretending
like I didn't really understand where he was going with his query.
All the while feeling the guilt building inside of me.

Tristan doesn't buy my aloofness. He turns
towards me, which forces me to make eye contact with him. The look
on his face is that of frustration and underlying hurt. "You
know
what I mean Emma." He says it forcefully but not in a
rude manner.

"Kai..." It hurts to say his name. Not only
because he's not here, but it hurts to say it to Tristan. I care
for Tristan. How can I possibly explain to him that I also care for
Kai? Breathing in deeply, I close my eyes and try. "He saved my
life, more than once. He took my place. I need to help him. I owe
him." I open my eyes and try to blink away tears that are blurring
my vision.

We both turn towards the fire. It's as if a
giant gap has formed between us. A few minutes pass and I hope that
he has decided to let it drop for now. He doesn't. Instead he asks
me a question I do not want to answer right now. "Do you love him?"
I can hear the hurt and anguish he is emitting in his words and I
cringe as I wonder how on earth I could possibly answer this
question.