Authors: Sarah Thorn
I was interested in hearing what was going on, but a nagging feeling in the back of my head knew that Buck wouldn’t like knowing that he was
being spied on
. I shuffled nervously in my seat while the rest of Connor’s gang eyed me like a pack of ravenous wolves.
If anyone in Buck’s
gang
were to eye me like that, they’d be missing teeth and memories. Buck always made me feel safe, no matter where I was. Even now, I knew that nothing would happen. But, I didn’t want to wait too long.
The door swung wide, and Buck strode out, tucking his shirt into his pants.
“I think we figured it out,” he said.
“That’s good.”
“I’ll tell you all about it on the way back,” he added.
We plopped back into his seat, and after I
returned
to my usual place behind him, he took off down the road. I heard Connor shouting in the back, but paid it no mind.
Buck didn’t say anything for a while. He was a
stoic
man, rarely discussing matters with the gang; it was nothing new. I broke the silence after we hit the half-way point.
“Are you going to tell me what the plan is?” I asked.
He didn’t respond right
away,
it appeared he had not the words.
“Buck, if it’s bad news, you should tell me,” I said.
“Gracie wouldn’t let up,” he said, “so I told him I was
gettin’
hitched.”
I looked at him with a puzzled and confused look. I never imagined him getting married, and even so I didn’t even know he was dating someone.
“Who are you getting’ married to,” I asked.
“You.”
I started chuckling at his obvious joke, but my humor changed when I noticed he wasn’t joining in on the laugh.
“You’re kidding, right?” I said.
“Nope,” he replied.
I was trying to piece it together in my head, but it still wasn’t making sense. I began to feel faint.
“Buck, stop the bike,” I said.
“We’re almost back-”
“Stop the bike!” I said, interrupting him.
He slowed the cycle down and pulled off in a gravel embankment. As soon as we were slow enough I jumped off the bike, doubling over while trying to catch my breath.
“You told him that we were
gettin’
married,” I said calmly, trying to figure everything out.
“I told Gracie that she should stop pursuing
me
because I was marrying you. Connor seemed to buy it well enough. Besides, it’s not like we weren’t going to get hitched one way or another.”
I realized now that Buck thought we had the chance of not only getting back together, but he assumed we’d be married. It’s not that I wasn’t interested in him at all. I still missed all the days we spent together, and knowing the warmth of his big powerful arms. But, he hadn’t changed at all, and I didn’t want to marry him unless I was his one and only.
“Buck, I’m not marrying you,” I said.
He cocked his eye and gave me a confused look.
“You’re the one that told me to use my words to solve this
problem;
now you won’t go through with what I decided?”
He crossed his arms and puffed out his chest. He didn’t look like he was in the mood to argue.
“Why didn’t you just apologize, or marry Gracie instead? I’m sure if you were with Gracie then you’d make an alliance with the clubs. If you want to get married so bad, why didn’t you say that?”
He laughed.
“You think I’d marry that little brat? I don’t want some alliance with his motorcycle club. There’s only one person on god’s green earth I’d
marry,
and you’re it. We just have to get married, Tara.”
I had a feeling that he was about as interested in getting married as I was.
“If
I’m hearing
you right, it sounds like you just need to be married so Connor won’t be breathing down your back, right? So we don’t have to stay together or sleep together,
nothin’
like that?”
He nodded.
I bit my lip thinking about the options. Buck wouldn’t be the worst person to
be married to
. It only seemed fitting to be married to the man that took over my dad’s motorcycle club. And, it
seems
that I don’t have to stick around, either if I don’t want.
“So, if we get hitched, then we just have to keep up appearances? Then we can go our separate ways when things cool off?”
“Yep,” he replied.
I let out a drawn out sigh. He had me cornered, and I
really
didn’t mind.
“Okay, fine. Let’s get married,” I said.
He could tell I was
reluctant,
but I doubt he
really
cared. He embraced me in his arms, and some of my worries disappeared.
“Once this thing is all over, I’m gone,” I said while climbing back on the bike.
“Fine by me,” he said, “one less person I have to take care of.”
4.
“How long have you been engaged for,” momma asked me.
“Today makes it a week,” I replied.
“It’s nice to see you two finally getting’ together. You two were always just right,” she said.
I tried my best to hide my disdain.
“Momma, you know we’re just doing it to keep the heat
off
the club. Once it blows
over,
I’ll be taking off. Besides, we’ve both decided it would be best to keep it impersonal.”
She raised her eyebrow and shot me a look of disbelief.
“I know you two, hell he’s
practically
been my son since your father died. I know he’d be the perfect man to take care of you. Why don’t you just get married for real?”
I didn’t
really
know what to tell her. I wanted to
tell
her about all the women that Buck slept with while we were dating, or about all the times he had to beat someone up to prove himself the leader of the club. I’m sure she knew how brutal politics could be in a motorcycle gang.
“Ma, I know I still have feelings for the guy, but it just isn’t right. I’ve changed over the past few years, and so has he. We’re just not meant to be.”
She laughed, I didn’t.
“People always change; whether they’re in a relationship or not. Your father used to take me out for rides before he started the club. But, after we had you and settled down, he opened that bar. Then he stopped taking me out on rides. He was a different man, much more responsible in his later years.”
My mother didn’t talk about my father like that very often. It was a treat to hear her talk
of
the old days.
“Well, Buck and I aren’t like you and Dad-”
“Oh posh,” she interrupted, “love is something that grips your heart and doesn’t let go. You’ve loved Buck since the first time you met. And, he loved you right back just the same.”
My thoughts started to wander as we talked. I knew that deep down I wouldn’t ever stop loving the guy. He was always there for me and knew just what I needed. My heart ached
to actually feel
as I did when we first met; those days when we’d just ride and sleep together, and beat up anyone that got in our way.
I wanted to think that it was possible to fall out of love, but life was proving that impossible. I wondered if that was what Buck thought.
I snapped out of my daze when I heard a knock at the front door.
“Are you expecting anyone, ma?” I asked.
“I haven’t been out of bed
in
more than a week, how could I invite anyone over.”
I peeked out the window and saw a
couple of
motorcycles parked
in
the front lawn, ones that I didn’t recognize.
“I’ll be back in a second,
Ma
,” I said.
I crept up
on
the front door, trying to see if I heard any weapons being loaded or waiting. I’ve
been shot
at a
couple of
times,
and the last place I wanted that to happen was my momma’s house.
I opened the door just a crack till I could see who was there. I didn’t recognize them in the slightest. I rested my hand on the shotgun that I always had stashed just inside the entryway.
“Who the hell are you,” I said.
He was a biker; tall and broad shouldered with a bald head and a patchy beard.
“You Tara?” he asked gruffly.
I contemplated telling him no. But, didn’t think that would
really
help right now.
“Yeah,” I said while gripping the shotgun tighter.
“I got a message for you.”
He held out a crumpled piece of paper and dropped it
in
my outstretched hand. I unfurled it as best I could so I could make out the writing.
“Tara, I don’t buy the engagement. You have one day to make
good
on your
marriage,
or I’m coming
after
the gang. –Connor,” read the note.
My hand shook as I finished reading the note. I wanted to
respond,
but the biker that dropped off the
note
was already riding off down the road along with a couple of his friends.
There was only one thing I could do at this point. I had to tell Buck what I just heard. He would know what to do; he always knows what to do.
5.
I arrived at the tavern, shortly after, in a panic. When I stumbled my way in I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I sought out Buck
immediately
and hurried to meet him.
“Buck, I got
news,
and it isn’t good,” I said as I handed him the note.
He took it and read, then turned it over looking for more writing.
“This it?” he said.
I was surprised by his
careless
demeanor. He barely batted an eye after he finished reading.
“Yeah, Buck. You know what this means, don’t you?” I asked.
“I do. It means that we have to make the marriage a real thing,” he replied coldly.
I sat on the stool and rested my head in my hands.
“I don’t think that will
work,
this time,
Buck,
” I said.
He snapped open a beer and set it down in front of me.
“I don’t take threats lying down. He’s calling our bluff, simple as that.
I’m thinking
I should
go give
him an invite to the wedding, personally.”
Buck pulled his shotgun from behind the bar. I knew what his invites were like, and they usually came
at
you fast.
“Buck, don’t do this,” I said putting a hand on his arm.
“I know what the note means, Tara. Whether we get married or not, he
don’t
care. He’s itching for a fight, just like me. I’m going to make sure that he doesn’t get the first punch,” he said.
The door flung open again, and in walked a bloody mess of a man. I ran over to him to hold him
up;
a
couple
other guys followed along.
“What happened,” I asked, “it looks like you rolled your cycle?”
The biker did his best to smile. I laid him out on a nearby table and
was quickly surrounded
by the rest of the gang that was there. Buck stomped over and looked the man up and down for a second.
“Two of them…” started the injured biker, “… they ran me off the road, into a ditch
…
then they bolted
…
Connor’s boys.”
“This is becoming too much of a habit,” Buck
said angrily
, “those bastards are going to get what’s coming to them.”
The rest of the motorcycle club cheered.
This was
the start of something which I didn’t want to get
involved in
. I shouldn’t have come back.
“Buck, I can’t do this anymore,” I said, “I’m going home.”
Buck grabbed my shoulder with his massive hand.
“Tara, I didn’t want you
goin’
anyway
.
Take
care of your momma.”
It was the last thing I thought he’d say. When we were
younger,
he wouldn’t have ridden off unless I was right behind him. But, now he didn’t want me. I was hoping he would have grabbed me and forced me to come along, just like the old days. He could
have,
and I would have followed along with a smile.