Release Me (The Music Within Book 2) (21 page)

And
there they were… the words he’d never expected to hear. “I love you, too, Rock
Star.”

Cade
pulled off his neck and prompted, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.
I had plans to tell you next weekend.”

“Oh
really? Tell me about these plans,” Cade urged as he went back to sucking on
Mal’s skin. This time it was sensuous teasing.

“I
was gonna cook a fancy meal then I was gonna take you to the pond for dessert.”

“Fish
for dessert? That doesn’t sound very romantic,” Cade joked.

Mal
slapped Cade’s ass cheek. “No, smartass. I was plannin’ on chocolate covered
strawberries and champagne. I thought I’d feed you the berries first, then pour
the champagne on your body and lick it off. Drink it out of your belly button.
After that, I was goin’ to make love to you under the stars and confess my
feelin’s.”

Cade
licked his way down the scar, kissing and nipping at Mal’s hip bone. Cade stuck
his tongue in Mal’s belly button, swirling it a couple of times. When Cade
looked up, he said, “I really like the sound of that. I’m sorry I ruined your
plans, but I’m glad it’s out there. I’ve wanted to say it for a while now, but
I didn’t think you were ready to hear it. You’re it for me too, Mal. I want
you, the farm, all of it. I have an obligation to the band, but it’s not a
lifelong commitment. It’s one album and one tour. A year at the most, then I’m
going to see about another path.”

Mal
couldn’t believe Cade was going to give up his love. “What about music? It’s
your life.”

“It
was my life. You are my life now. Music got me through until I met you.”

Mal
was speechless. He couldn’t see Cade giving up his mansion in sunny California
for a dumpy farmhouse in Arlo.

“But…”

“No
buts, just some more ass,” Cade growled before he pushed Mal’s knees to his
chest and slid his cock home. Mal didn’t know when Cade slicked his erection,
but he was glad he did. Cade made love to him, and instead of the dirty words,
he replaced them with words of affection.

Mal
hated to leave Cade alone in bed, but he needed to go check on Tyler. Since he
hadn’t heard the alarm go off, he figured Tyler was still passed out on the
couch or waiting on someone to let him out of the house. When Mal got
downstairs, Andy was drinking coffee at the kitchen table alongside a very
hungover Tyler.

“Good
mornin’,” Mal drawled.

“Morning,”
Andy replied, but Tyler just grunted.

“What
are you drinkin’?” he asked his old friend when he eyed the dark green
concoction in a glass.

“Some
nasty shit your friend here thinks is the wonder cure for what ails me.”

Mal
grabbed a coffee cup out of the cabinet and told Tyler, “If Andy said it’ll
work, it’ll work.”

“Then
you drink it,” Tyler whined.

“How
does your wife put up with three kids?” Cade teased Tyler from the doorway. He
had pulled on his jeans, but hadn’t bothered with a shirt. While Mal loved
Cade’s body, he didn’t want the other men seeing it. Andy was studying Cade’s
tattoos, or maybe he was drooling at the barbells running through Cade’s nipples.
Mal shouldn’t blame the man for staring, but he was beginning to get pissed.

When
Andy caught Mal’s gaze, he ducked his head and mumbled, “Sorry, boss.”

“I
thought you’d be gone by now,” Mal hinted at Tyler.

“I
wanted to apologize to Cade, for, you know…” Tyler obviously remembered having
trouble with his zipper.

Mal
wasn’t sure whether or not Cade was going to accept his apology. His face was a
mixture of anger and amusement.

Andy,
clearly confused but interested, asked, “What happened?”

Cade
stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over
his chest. “Tyler had a little trouble with his zipper. And his dick. I can’t
remember getting so drunk I couldn’t put my own junk in my pants.”

“You
didn’t…” Andy’s eyebrows would have been hidden by his bangs, if he had any,
they were raised so high.

“He
did,” Mal huffed. Tyler’s face was redder than a homegrown tomato, and Andy
couldn’t stop laughing. Mal still didn’t see the humor in his man touching
another man’s dick, even if it was to help him out.

When
Andy composed himself, he asked, “Mal, since you have company, are you going to
cook some biscuits?” Mal’s breakfast was a hit with his workers, but they had
agreed to take turns cooking.

“It’s
Bryan’s day to cook,” he reminded the big Marine. Andy was as broad as he was
tall, which was saying something. At 6’2, he wasn’t taller than Mal, but he had
about fifty pounds of solid muscle on him. He was handsome, in a brutish way,
with the standard military haircut. Bryan was not as tall as Andy, and Mal had
no idea to his ethnicity. He could have been mixed with African American,
Latino, Spanish, or any number of darker skins. He, too, had cropped hair, but
his eyes were aquamarine. They were so clear they almost glowed in the dark.

“Ah,
man. You know he can burn water. Why you wanna do us that way?” Andy grumbled.

“I
heard that, asswipe. Next time, you can burn your own damn water,” Bryan
announced as he entered the kitchen. The air was filled with a whole lot of
testosterone, and Mal was still getting used to being around the men after it
had been him and his momma for so long. Bryan glanced at Cade, tipped his chin
in an unspoken
hello
, and turned his attention to Tyler.

Tyler
gulped the green gook and let out a belch. “Damn, that shit’s nasty. And you
complain about someone else’s cooking?” he asked Andy.

“That’s
okay, limp dick. Call me and apologize when you feel better,” Andy snorted at
Tyler. Bryan was now the one left out of the loop, but Mal didn’t want to think
about what happened again.

Tyler
pushed back from the table. “On that note, I’m going home. Mal, I’ll call you
if I hear anything else.” He didn’t look at the others, just headed toward the
back door. Cade beat him to it and turned off the alarm.

When
he was back in the kitchen, Cade sidled up to Mal and whispered, “I really
don’t want burnt water. Will you please make biscuits? I’ll repay you later.”
Cade turned to Bryan, “No offense.”

“None
taken. I’m Bryan by the way.” He stuck his big hand out for Cade and they shook.
Cade reached across the table, and he and Andy introduced themselves. Mal was
glad to see Cade so comfortable around the men, but he kept an eye on Andy to
make sure he wasn’t getting too comfortable. Cade excused himself and returned
from upstairs with a Motley Crue t-shirt on. As much as Mal loved all Cade’s
inked skin, he was relieved Andy couldn’t enjoy it now.

During
breakfast, Mal explained to Andy and Bryan who Tyler was and why he had come to
visit. Cade stressed the fact they needed to remain armed at all times. After
breakfast, Mal took Cade around to see the new calves. Cade flat out refused to
get on one of the horses, so Mal saddled up Cochise, his Paint, while Cade
straddled his four wheeler. Both Cochise and Calculus, his Quarter horse, had
been around a farm and cattle. He thought Calculus was a strange name, but the
horse was smart and calculating. She could round up a herd with no instructions
other than “let’s get them in”.

Cade
wanted to stop every time they saw a calf. He confessed he’d never been around
small animals, not even at a petting zoo. He laughed when they jumped and ran.
“I can’t believe how well they’re getting around. They aren’t that old.”

Mal
explained how the babies were up and about just hours after birth.

“I
never thought of cows this way. Amazing.”

Mal
enjoyed showing Cade the babies, as well as explaining in more detail the day
to day workings of the farm. His family had been dairy farmers in the early
days, but the upkeep on the equipment proved to be too much financially, so
they turned to beef cattle. It was at that point in the conversation Cade
declared he was becoming a vegetarian. “How can you look at those sweet little
eyes and think, ‘Beef, it’s what’s for dinner’?”

Mal
laughed at his lover and shook his head. It was best not to get attached to the
little buggers, that was for sure. When Mal finally convinced Cade to return to
the house, Cade said, “I’m going to take a shower. You wanna join me?”

Mal
liked that idea. He liked any idea where getting skin to skin with Cade was
involved.

“Yes,
sir. You go ahead and get the water goin’. I’m gonna drop a roast in the Crock
Pot.”

Cade
leaned in and kissed Mal before jogging up the steps.

Andy
and Bryan were sitting together on the sofa in the living room watching a
baseball game. Even though they were free on the weekends, they rarely went
anywhere other than the bar on Friday nights. Mal finished up in the kitchen
and headed upstairs to join his lover. He was removing his clothes when Cade’s
cell phone rang. Mal wouldn’t dare answer it, but he did glance at the caller
ID.
Gerry
. He didn’t recognize the name, but the number looked familiar.
He let it go to voicemail and finished stripping.

Mal
stepped into the shower, and Cade began running soapy hands all over his body.
“You had a phone call,” he told his drummer.

“Did
you answer it?” Cade stopped his hands on Mal’s arms, waiting for his answer.

“Of
course not.” Mal didn’t admit to looking to see who it was, though. Cade was in
the music business, so it could have been anyone. It wasn’t anyone from the
band, because Mal knew all their names. He shook off the jealousy because Cade
was with him. Loved him.

“I’ll
check it later. Right now, I have important business to tend to.” Cade
thoroughly washed Mal before getting him dirty again, but Mal couldn’t shake
the feeling he knew the caller from somewhere. After both men were sated as
well as clean, they dried off and returned to Mal’s bedroom to dress. Cade
picked up his phone and frowned. He pulled his shirt over his head and put the
phone to his ear. Whatever the message was, it wasn’t good.

“Fuck.
FUCK!” Cade threw his phone on the bed and hustled around the room. “It’s my
mom. She’s had a heart attack. I have to go.”

Mal
was too shocked to say anything, but when he recovered, he said, “I’ll go with
you.”

“No,
babe. It’s okay. I want you to stay here and watch after Suzette, please? I’ll
call you as soon as I know something.” Cade shoved everything in his bag and
took off out the door. Mal felt like he’d been completely dismissed until Cade
ran back in. “I’m sorry. I love you. Don’t ever forget that.” Cade dropped his
bag and pulled Mal in close, kissing him softly but thoroughly. “I love you,
Mal.”

“I
love you, too, Cade.”

Mal
dressed and headed downstairs, the nagging feeling getting stronger. The number
was too familiar, so he flipped through his own phone until he got to what he
was looking for – G.B. Matheson, the CFO for the company who owned the farm.
What had been the name on Cade’s phone? Gerry? Was he Gerry Matheson? If so,
why would the CFO be calling Cade’s phone about his mother?

When
the realization of what it all could possibly mean settled in, Mal wanted to
throw up.

Cade

Cade
was torn. He loved his mother, and knew it was his duty as her son to go check
on her, but he hated leaving Mal, especially when they had crossed such a
monumental line in their relationship. Thinking back to the times he had told
Tag he loved him, he hadn’t been lying, but understanding his feelings for Mal
were true love, he realized what he felt for Tag was what friends feel.
Platonic love with sex thrown in. He hadn’t planned on blurting out his
feelings during sex, but the emotions had been too strong to hold back. He had
no doubt Mal was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Cade
knew this because he wanted to protect Mal. Wanted to give him the sun and
stars. Wanted to see his face on the pillow next to him every single morning. When
Cade realized he would give up music to be with Mal, that was the moment he
knew it was the real deal. Music had been Cade’s life, but now, Mal was what
kept Cade going every day. Made him want to be a better person. Made him want
to go to the prison and kick Dwight Wilson’s fucking ass for hurting Mal. Even
though they briefly discussed Dwight at breakfast, Cade wanted Andy and Bryan
fully brought up to speed on the situation regarding Mal’s father. They were
both military trained, and they would be able to help keep Mal and Suzette
safe. Cade didn’t bother calling Gerard. He would see him at the hospital.

When
the jet landed, Carl was waiting on Cade at passenger pick-up. Carl was
familiar with the area, so it didn’t take too long to get to the hospital.
“Thanks for coming, Carl.”

“Nowhere
else I’d be, man. You know that. Any word on Audrey’s condition?” Carl had met
Cade’s parents on several occasions, as had all the band and bodyguards. When
they were on hiatus, the band spread out for the most part. But every summer,
Audrey put on a Fourth of July gathering, and all the men were invited. That
seemed like a lifetime ago.

“No.
When we took off, she was in surgery. I tried my dad’s phone, but it went to
voicemail.”

“I’m
sure she’ll be just fine. She’s a tough old broad.”

Cade
laughed at his friend’s assessment of his mother. “That she is. I’m more
worried about Dad. Since the whole Esme deal, things have been strained for
both of them. I guess the stress finally got to one of them.” Cade looked out
the side window. The tall buildings of downtown passed by in a blur as they
neared the hospital. Instead of parking, Carl dropped Cade off at the door.
“I’ll see you inside,” he said, thumping the top of the car.

Gerard
met Cade just inside the door, and they hugged briefly before heading upstairs
to the waiting room. “You’re different,” Gerry announced.

“I
know, and it’s the best feeling in the world.” Cade felt as if the universe had
opened up and showed him his purpose in twinkling stars. Music was important; he
knew this. But loving someone with your whole being was what everyone searched
for their whole lives, wasn’t it? He now understood why Tag would give up the
band for a man and a baby. They were his purpose, and he theirs. “But there are
some things we need to discuss. Once we see how mom is doing, I want to talk
about security.”

“Has
something happened?” Gerard asked as they stepped off the elevator.

“Yes,
but we’ll discuss it in private.”

Cade
and his uncle met August in the waiting room. His dad looked like shit. His
shirt was half untucked, and his hair was standing on end. “Dad,” Cade
whispered as he got close.

“Oh,
there you are. I’m sorry to pull you away from whatever you were doing.”

“What?
Dad, you didn’t pull me away from anything. Mom needs us. Both of us. Has the
doctor been out?”

August
shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “No, and that’s not good. If
it was mild, they’d just put a stent in and be done with it. This is taking too
long, Cade. This is all my fault.”

Gerard
stepped up to his brother-in-law and grabbed his biceps. “Listen to me, August.
This is
not
your fault. No matter what has been going on with you and my
sister, you are not to blame. We have a history of heart problems on our side
of the family. You know this. So stop with the self-recrimination.”

Cade
was glad Gerard was there. Even though it was his sister in the operating room,
he was the strong one in the family. He kept a level head in any situation. It
was one reason he was so good at his job. Cade had never once seen his uncle
lose his cool. His father was about to fall apart, and Gerard would keep him
together. The door opened and a doctor walked in. “Mr. Anderson?”

“Yes,
here.” August grabbed onto Cade’s arm.

“Your
wife is in recovery. She had a couple of small blockages, and we were able to
stent them with no trouble. She’ll be kept overnight for observation, but
there’s no reason she won’t be able to go home in the morning.”

“What
caused this?”

“Her
family has a history of heart disease, Mr. Anderson. With proper diet and
exercise, she’ll be able to continue living a full life. I’m not going to
promise this won’t happen again, because genetics play a huge roll in what
happens inside our bodies. Are you her son?” the doctor asked Cade.

“Yes,
sir.”

“You
should have regularly scheduled physicals, just in case.”

Cade
replied, “Yeah, I’ll do that.” While he took great pains with his outer
appearance, he had never worried about the inside of his body. Didn’t think he
had a reason to. Up until that point, his parents had been the perfect picture
of health. He had drunk quite a bit over the years, but now that he was with
Mal, the urge to get wasted every night was gone. He wanted to be sober to
remember every single minute with his man.

The
doctor informed them a nurse would return when they could go see his mom. “See,
Dad, not your fault at all.”

His
father’s face still held a hint of sadness. “If I’d just…”

“August,
stop it. We all make mistakes. My sister will come around, and if she doesn’t?
Well, that’s her problem, not yours.”

“But
she’s my love, Gerry. I know we married young and weren’t in love back then,
but now? She’s all I have.”

“Love
should be unconditional. It should be strong enough to overcome whatever life
throws at you. Mistakes and all. If she loves you like she should, she will
forgive you anything, especially something that happened so long ago. We all
screw up.” Gerard’s voice was strong, but there was also a hint of sadness
behind it.

Cade
wasn’t surprised Gerard was speaking truthfully, even if they were discussing
his own sister. He was a no nonsense kind of man. Cade often wondered why his
uncle was still single after all these years. Hell, he may have a woman in
every city for all Cade knew. He loved his uncle but never called just to talk
to him. He always wanted something from him. He needed to change that.

Less
than an hour later, a nurse came in and said, “Mr. Anderson?”

August
stood and replied, “Yes, I’m Audrey’s husband.”

The
nurse shook her head and corrected, “I’m looking for Kincade Anderson, her
son.”

Cade
stepped forward. “That’s me.”

“Your
mother would like to see you.”

August
frowned. “But I’m her husband.”

The
nurse was apologetic. “I’m sorry, Mr. Anderson, but your wife specifically
asked for Kincade.”

“Dad,
let me go talk to her and see what’s going on. I’ll be right back.” Cade
couldn’t imagine why his mother would refuse to see his dad. Sure they had been
through a rough patch, but she’s the one who wanted her husband back home. If
she was still so angry with him, she would have left him at Cade’s house. Cade
followed the nurse to his mom’s room and followed her inside. The nurse checked
on Audrey before leaving them alone.

“Cade…”

“I’m
here, Mom.” Cade pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down, taking his
mom’s hand in his. “You scared us.”

“I’m
sorry. You can thank your grandfather for this, though. I don’t think there’s
anyone on his side of the family who hasn’t had heart trouble.”

“So
why did you want to see me and not Dad? He is worried sick about you, and if
you make him wait too much longer, he’s not going to have any hair left.”

Audrey’s
eyes welled up with tears, and they escaped down her face. Cade grabbed a
tissue off the rolling table and dabbed her face gently. “Oh, Mom.”

“I
can’t forgive him, Cade. I know what he did happened a long time ago, but
knowing he has a child out there that isn’t mine, I just can’t get over that.”

“Let
me ask you something. Have you ever lied to Dad? Ever gone behind his back and
done something without telling him? Ever wished you were with someone other
than him?”

“This
isn’t about me, it’s about…”

“No,
Mom. This
is
about you. All about you. Now answer the question.” He
probably shouldn’t be badgering her so soon after surgery, but this shit was
serious.

“Nothing
like what he did to me.”

“So
you admit you’ve lied to him?”

“That’s
not what I’m saying.”

“What
are
you saying? Here’s the way I see things. Dad was young and screwed
around one time. Was it wrong? Of course it was, but you know as well as I do
the two of you were thrown together by your parents. You weren’t in love back
then, and Dad wasn’t ready to get married. He did it out of obligation to you
and your families. That doesn’t make sleeping with Emma right. But he didn’t
know about Esme. She wasn’t something he kept from you all these years, because
he didn’t know she even existed. Are you going to throw away a lifetime of love
over one mistake? He loves you. He just admitted to me and Gerry that you are
his one true love. He’s scared. Scared of losing you, and not to heart
disease.”

“How
do I forgive him, Cade? How do I go about my business knowing these people have
lied to me for over thirty years?”

“Have
you ever stopped to think how
they
might feel? Emma had a child out of
wedlock over thirty years ago. It wasn’t as common back then for a single woman
to raise a child. But she did it, until she met a man who loved her enough to
take a child who wasn’t his and adopt her. Maybe they didn’t tell you so you
wouldn’t be hurt. So you wouldn’t feel the pain and humiliation you’re feeling
now. Maybe Emma is a good person who has your best interest at heart and isn’t
laughing behind your back at all.”

“I
know I’m being selfish. It just hurts.”

“I’m
sure it does. Life hurts. Believe me, I know. But then something good comes
along to replace the hurt, and it doesn’t seem so bad.”

“You’re
talking about yourself now, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.
When the band broke up, I didn’t know how I was going to go on without Tag. He
had been my life for over fifteen years. I loved him. Then I met someone and
really fell in love. He made me see that what I felt for Tag was a young man’s
love for his best friend. Tag didn’t love me. He told me over and over that
what we had was just friendship, but I didn’t want to believe him. It was easy.
That should have been my first clue it wasn’t the everlasting kind of love you
and Dad have. I didn’t have to work for it. I think if you have the kind of
love that few people ever find, the kind where you’d give up everything you
have, everything you are for that other person, it’s not easy. But you fight
for it. Fight for them.”

“How’d
you get so smart?”

“You’re
my mother, but don’t tell Dad I said that. I may look like him, but I like to
think I get my brains from you,” Cade confided and winked.

Audrey
smiled and started crying again. “I love you, Kincade. I know I didn’t always
show you, but I do love you with all my heart. Stents and all.”

“I
love you, too. Now, there’s a man out in the waiting room that’s ready to tear
this place apart to get back to the love of his life. Can I let him in here
now?”

“Yes,”
she whispered. “Wait, I need a comb.”

Cade
laughed. “Mom, he’s seen you at your worst and still thinks you’re the most
beautiful woman in the world.” Cade walked to the door and turned back, “I love
you.”