Reluctant Demon (4 page)

The pillars of the courtroom trembled at His words, and smoke rose above as the atmosphere became unstable.

No one dared stand.

"What did God say?" The muttering swept through the kneeling angels.

"Evil? In Lucifer?" The accusation telegraphed through the whispers of the gathered host.

"Wait a minute," I interrupted. "What does God mean by
evil}
We don't know anything about
evil"

For a moment the telegraphing stopped as the others realized what I said was true. Although it was clear from God's words that something was definitely wrong, no one in heaven could possibly have understood something that until now had not existed. Before Lucifer's rebellion, there was no concept of evil, so how could we possibly be sure what it was?

"It has to be about Lucifer's intent to rule," one of the others said.

I hunkered down a little more and tried to imagine what I would do right that minute had I been in Lucifer's place. I would be apologizing, groveling on the floor, and working on a plea. To this day I don't know why Lucifer risked it. He must have known he had picked a fight he could not possibly win. He should have backed down.

That's what I would have done. The accusations against Lucifer began among the still kneeling, anxious angels.

"Why did we let him get this far?"

"Why wasn't his position enough?"

"Lucifer was cherished and denied nothing. Now look at what he's done?"

"He shouldn't have involved us. We haven't done anything."

"We're guilty by association; that's all. We don't deserve any punishment."

The angel next to me tugged on my wing and asked,

"What did God think was going to happen? Is He going to take some responsibility for this?"

"What are you saying?"

"He spoiled him, overindulged his every whim. This really is partly God's fault, you know."

"God's fault?" I was unnerved at the utterance, though I had privately thought the same thing.

"Didn't God know that if He gave us the ability to defy Him, it would only be a matter of time until one of us thought to try it?" By now others were finding their tongues.

"He must have known it would happen in the right circumstances. Maybe Lucifer was tricked. It could have been one of us," came a voice from behind.

I said nothing more but began to think about Lucifer's defense. It was a bad idea on God's part to put both power and free will into the same being. If there were a better control system of checks and balances, none of this would be happening.

Not that it matters now, but I believe that in the beginning Lucifer truly loved God, but somewhere along the way, his love turned inward and decayed into a yearning for a power that was denied him. It happened after Earth was hung in space. Lucifer rebelled against the boundaries he had been given concerning Earth, whatever those boundaries might have been.

That's the thing you need to know about God. He sets boundaries. But here is where it gets fuzzy. If we wanted to do so, we could cross the line we were not supposed to go beyond. How's that for mixed signals? W h y would God make us able to do something we were not allowed to do? I've never understood that about God.

It was obvious to me that Lucifer was in trouble because he had crossed some kind of boundary concerning Earth, though no one knew what it was. God, who created and loved him, must now do one of three things: move the boundary, indulge him, or destroy him. I could see that nobody was going to win this one.

All of heaven could feel the heaviness in God's voice when He confronted Lucifer. When the rest of us realized God's favorite was not getting a pass, we got really quiet and waited to see how he would respond. Lucifer was outraged.

"Objection! Out of order! There is no legal precedent for this. How can this be?" he demanded of God, the court, and anyone else who might be listening. His voice trailed off as he began muttering gibberish as if Yahweh would know what he was talking about. None of us did.

Lucifer shamelessly began to accuse God right there in front of us.

I shuddered at how far he went as he ranted against the goodness of God.

"You are an imposter, God. It is Your power and not Your love that brings about Your will." Lucifer bellowed to the heavenly host that Yahweh was not a God of love at all.

Then he turned toward us. "He is a God of manipulation who creates free will and then denies it." Lucifer tore his hair and stomped his feet. He contorted with rage. His eyes were filled with fire and hatred. Like one gone mad, he spun to confront the other archangels who stood at their posts.

"Listen to me," Lucifer sputtered, "or you're next. Can't you see what is happening? This jealous God cannot be trusted."

"What does he mean, we could be next?" someone whispered from the ranks. The angels looked at each other as if the thought of such a thing had never been in anyone's imagination. Lucifer did not miss the uneasy glances exchanged between them. He pressed in harder.

"None of you are safe. See how He will destroy anyone who does not obey His every whim. Why do you think He has turned against me? He is jealous of His own creation."

I raised my eyes carefully to look at Michael's face.

How long would this tirade against the Most High God be allowed to continue? I didn't know what would happen next or which way I would run when it did.

Nobody tried to stop him, so Lucifer continued to make it worse. "Only I of all the heavenly host dare to speak the truth. The rest of you are cowards."

Lucifer drew his sword from his belt and brandished it about so furiously, some stepped back from him in fear of losing a wing. I found myself cringing at every swipe and secretly wondered why someone hadn't taken that thing away from him as a precaution. Weapons are a bad idea in a courtroom. I wondered whether the consequences of Lucifer's fit might fall on the rest of us.

I really blame God for not putting an end to the foolishness right there. If only He had, the whole thing would have been over before the court of angels began to divide. "Surely they aren't choosing sides?" I thought.

"Who would choose to side with a deranged archangel and against the Most High God?"

If there was going to be a fight, I wanted to get away before it started. I began thinking about the consequences if I stood in the wrong place. Some of the host moved close behind Lucifer as he condemned the cherubim, God's holiest angels, for their obedience to God.

He accused them of pretending that their allegiance to the Ancient of Days was based upon love when in truth they were terrified of His absolute power and demands for unquestioned loyalty.

Lucifer jeered at them. "This God you bow down to would rather destroy my beauty and cast me down than admit that the creation has become more desirable than the Creator." Lucifer blistered the air as he whirled about with the flaming sword, ranting like one gone completely mad. "I will raise my throne above the throne of this misguided God. Choose whom you will follow, or die."

My eyes were twitching in terror, but God did not blink. It seemed for a moment like He might not do anything. Confusion grew as the angels asked, "What if it's true?"

Some of the neutral angels listened and believed Lucifer's claims and moved toward his side. Now, here's something you need to know about him. He is the prince of lies, but he doesn't lie all the time. He has no qualms about taking something that
might
be true and concocting a believable and persuasive fabrication that is completely wrong.

Once you hear one of his exquisitely constructed part-truth lies, you will find yourself thinking about it. Pretty soon, you will be wondering how it
could
be true. That's what happened to me.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I found myself seeing things from Lucifer's point of view. He brought up an extraordinarily important question with repercussions for everyone. If God were willing to expel the prince of the archangels, His favorite, what might He do to any of the rest of us if we displeased Him?

"Ridiculous," I said to myself. "It would not happen. It could not happen. The whole idea was preposterous."

My last nerve was about to unravel when I realized that sides were being chosen for a fight, and no one would be allowed to sit it out. I zigzagged back and forth across the room, fretting about where to stand. If I stood with Michael's warriors and they lost, Lucifer would destroy me for disloyalty. I had that clearly figured out. If I stood with Lucifer's side—way in the back, of course—and they lost, Michael might simply overlook me since he never seemed to notice me before anyway. It was possible. It was at least worth a try Then Adonai stood up—a bad sign for us all. Standing meant judgment was about to be unleashed. The Son of God pronounced the sentence on Lucifer. "You corrupted your splendor by your sin. You corrupted My Father's glory by your ambition. Depart, and be cast down to Earth," His voice thundered.

I could barely take in what I was hearing. Lucifer cast out? Cast out to where? To what place is an archangel exiled?

"God can't really banish an archangel, can He?" whispered someone whom I could not identify.

"Of course not," I muttered to myself, but I did not convince myself in the least.

Lucifer so miscalculated the nature of God; he truly believed God would not—could not—destroy what He loved. I can look back and see why this strategy never had any possibility of working. Lucifer failed to take into account that the
holiness
of God was as great as His
love.

God would not allow His holiness to be profaned among His creation, even for the sake of His love.

At Adonai's command, Michael unleashed his powerful army as war broke out in heaven. Lucifer fought back with all of his power, and one-third of the heavenly host fought with him.

The offense within Lucifer blazed and consumed his heavenly nature. "Thrown out? Expelled from heaven?

Cast from the presence of the One who created me? No!"

he raged. "You will never do it."

But God most certainly did. The war in heaven was on.

Lucifer raged against the judgment of the Most High God and lost not only his place in heaven but also his name. He would no longer be called "Lucifer the light bearer." He would be called "Satan the accuser," because he accused God and the other angels who remained faithful to Him.

Following Michael's orders, Rafael, Ariel, Gabriel, and the other archangels brandished their flaming swords with great skill and precision. They seemed to grow taller, enormous even, right before our eyes as we actually diminished before them. I could feel myself shrinking and my wings wilting before their wrath. That's when I realized I had been standing in the wrong place.

"Oh, no." I protested, scurrying toward the other camp. "I didn't choose sides yet. I was thinking it over."

But it was too late.

One of the rebellious angels forced a sword into my hands, and I swung the best I could but hit nothing. I knew I looked foolish. Suddenly the atmosphere became suffocating and heavy. It was as if someone had removed the pillars that held heaven in place and unleashed an invisible force upon us. We staggered under the weight of what we could not see. Pressed down, barely able to stand, we felt a strong wind that came from nowhere and from everywhere at once. We rolled back and forth as we lost our footing. I felt dizzy beyond description.

"Oh, no," I thought as I tried to find somewhere to sit and hold my head steady until it stopped spinning

"Ruah Ha Kadosh has entered the fight."

Trying hard to stay out of the path of the clashing swords, I stood up as best I could and looked around for Michael or Gabriel or anyone who might be in charge and who would help me. I planned to grovel and beg for mercy for a chance to correct my incredible lapse in judgment. I threw the sword down and stumbled all over myself, getting to the rock where I hid until Michael came and cut off Damon's head. As Michael turned away, I shook my feathers out, rolled the dead demon's head off my foot, and practiced saying the words I would use to explain what happened. I would say how I had been standing in the wrong place and inadvertently appeared to be following Lucifer. I would crawl on my knees to Michael. I would explain how I'd been confused lately and frequently had trouble making important decisions.

Now, praise God, my mind had returned to me, but while it was gone, it appeared I had joined the wrong side of the war, which I never intended to do. When I realized my mistake, I fully repented and came over to the righteous side where I'd always intended to be before my mind left.

I could almost touch the hem of His garment. But I was not fast enough or close enough. Before I could offer a single word of repentance, with a mighty gush of breath, Ruah Ha Kadosh executed the word of God.

Satan and one-third of the heavenly host were cast out of heaven and thrown to Earth.

Sadly, I fell with them.

CHAPTER 5

THE SENSATION OF
falling was terrifying. We flailed about like unstrung puppets caught in a hurricane. We had no control over our movement and no frame of reference for what was happening.

We tumbled out of the realm of the heavenly light into perpetual darkness unlike anything we had seen before—

not like this anyway. We had known the absence of light, but we did not know that there could be such a pulsating void of suffocating nothingness. We were falling through a realm where the gloom was so thick that it could be felt. It was a terrifying and strange place, and yet there was something eerily familiar about it.

It was like an odor one has smelled before but now cannot quite remember where or when. We had not realized that we were careening through second heaven, which existed far below third heaven, where we had lived with God. We didn't have long to ponder what this dominion might be like, because we continued to fall until we crashed through another border and reached another realm. When we regained our equilibrium, we knew that we had arrived on Earth.

Perhaps you wonder, "Why Earth?" Surely there were other planets more suitable as a penal colony for our rebellion. Planets where there was no life—desolate, barren, frozen, or parched. Surely Earth had not been created for us. Satan certainly knew about Earth. After all, he had longed to be given special charge over its affairs, but now, it was his prison.