Remember Love (12 page)

She wasn’t sure
which group she should join.

CHAPTER
ELEVEN

Clouds hung heavy
over the canopy of branches above Alec’s head. He pushed through the Spanish
Moss that draped from oaks lining the faint dirt path. Katrina trudged behind
him, fishing poles in hand. He held the cooler in front of himself, enjoying
the rich scent of the night. It’d been a long time since he’d traipsed through
the woods. He could remember when they’d been more home to him than the ramshackle
house he’d shared with his mom.

"We’re
almost there." Katrina laid a hand on his shoulder and pointed to his
left. "See that glimmer?"

He did. "I
didn’t know Mr. Daniels had a lake at the rear of his house."

Katrina chuckled
behind him, low and throaty. He remembered that too, the surprising loudness
from such a quiet woman.

"His
daughter came in Kat’s Korner one day a few years ago. We started talking about
fishing and she invited me over. Offered it as a place of refuge."

Alec reached the lake
and set the cooler down. The lake lapped timidly against the toes of his shoes.
She’d brought him to her special place. The gesture touched him, even if she’d
only done it out of guilt. 

He took the pole
she handed to him, hooked the bait and cast the line. Then he watched her do
the same, the fluid, expert motion of her hands mesmerizing him. They settled
into a comfortable silence. It brought a peace to his heart. An acceptance.

He’d cracked open
his Bible today. It had been a few weeks since he last read it, but he’d felt
an urging to after seeing Katrina at the baseball game. Rereading some favorite
passages calmed some of the last month’s turmoil. He hoped the peace would stay
after he brought up Joey. Something nagged him, and made Katrina’s betrayal so
much sharper.

He cleared his
throat. "You come here often?"

"Yeah."
Her silhouette stilled in the night.

Alec looked at
the water shimmering in front of him. "Any reason we didn’t go to the river?"

"Bass’ve
been biting here." She recast her line.

He tugged on his
pole. It was now or never. "I have to know why you kept him from me. I
never knew my dad. You know how that made me feel—" His voice cracked.
This one thing. She’d known and it hadn’t stopped her.

In the moonlight,
her fingers fumbled with the reel. "I’m so sorry. It was easier, I guess.
To think you didn’t care." Her voice, thick with emotion, softened him.

"I don’t
understand why you’d think that."

"The blocked
calls, your mom’s lies. And then, after a few years, life settled in. I justified
the act to myself and came up with convenient excuses."

Teeth grinding,
lungs tight, he said nothing.

"I almost
came once." Her voice lowered, drawn down with regret. "The winter of
Joey’s fourth birthday. Mom and Joey caught the flu and I canceled my tickets."

Six years ago. "I
was in Paris."

"I didn’t
know. I had planned to haunt the doors of your uncle’s company until someone
let me in and gave me a way to contact you."

"Security is
super tight." He studied her profile, noting the way her shoulders sagged
against the edge of the forest. He had his own regrets. "There’s something
I’ve been meaning to tell you." He plunged ahead, before his pride could
stop him. "I’m sorry for the way I treated you."

Her head cocked
as her eyes fastened on him. "When?"

Alec reeled in
his line, then recast it. "You ran from the altar, I ran out of your life.
I had no business doing that to you."

Emotion blinked
across her face. "I left you."

"For good
reasons."

"You mentioned
something the other day about my dreams and your unemployment," she said.
He thought he saw her bite her lip, but couldn’t be sure. "I hope that’s
not why you think I ran out of the wedding."

It was, actually.
He’d figured she feared poverty and being stuck in this small town forever.
Stuck with him. He shrugged. "Marriage is a big thing. We were young and
poor. It shocked me when your mom didn’t try to stop us."

There was a soft
snort from Katrina. "She didn’t care. Was probably glad to have me out of
her hair."

"Yeah, mine
was so drunk she almost didn’t make it to the church." He paused as a
thought struck him. "If money wasn’t the reason, then why did you run?"

"Oh."
Her pole jerked and with a gush, the surface of the moon-pale water broke. The
bass flopped as she reeled it in. "Grab the camera, Alec." Her voice
rose as the bass neared the edge of the lake. "This is a big one."

He sprinted to
the edge of the forest where he’d left the camera with the cooler. He’d get an
answer on why she left him soon enough. Because, and his heart sank, if she
hadn’t run for money reasons, there was only one other thing he could think of.
He snatched the camera from off the cooler and then ran back to her.

Her breathing was
uneven and her eyes shone when he snapped the picture. "I guess it’s a
good thing we came out after all."

"Now it’s my
turn." Alec reached for his pole, palms clammy. He didn’t want the answer to
why she’d left the altar right now, not if it had to do with Rachel’s sister, Maggie.
"I talked to Grant today. He said they can’t find Steve."

"Really?"
Katrina swiveled to face him.

"Aggravated
assault with a deadly weapon is a felony. They’re looking all over for him." 
Alec cast his line, the fishing string whistling through the air before it landed
in the water with a gentle plop.

"Wow. I
don’t know whether to be relieved or worried." She moved closer to the
lake, her feet squishing in the mud.

"Don’t
worry. The police will take care of it." Alec figured Steve had slunk out
of town after harassing them. Maybe he’d heard about the charges too. It
wouldn’t have taken long, not in Manatee Bay. People here talked. Alec grimaced
at the thought and jerked on his line.

Kitty was too
quiet. He wished he hadn’t brought up the subject of Steve. But it had popped
out, and seemed to get her mind off their wedding day.

Because if she
knew about Maggie, he could kiss his awakening hopes good-bye.

*****

Katrina had just
closed the store and gone to get her purse when Alec barged into her office. His
brisk movements shouted determination.

"I want you
to come to New York with me," he said.

Her jaw dropped.
Was he crazy? "New York? Why? I can’t."

"Why not?"
Alec closed the door behind him. He’d worn a suit today, sleek and expensive.
It reminded her of their differences. "You could see Sharon, take a break
for once. The store can be closed for a few days until we decide what to do
with it. I’ve an extra ticket thanks to my SkyMiles and you’ve got nothing to
do."

Because she had
no one. He didn’t say it, probably didn’t think it, but the accusation trembled
inside her anyway. She had no more responsibilities, no one to take care of. It
was what she’d longed for ten years ago. Freedom. Now he offered her a small
piece of an old dream. She could go to Broadway, visit the museums, drink in
the diverse cultures. See Sharon and the kids.

Her arms slid
around her waist. For so long she’d felt abandoned by God, but with Alec’s
apology last night, she’d realized the abandonment issue extended to him.
Subconsciously, had she been punishing him by keeping Joey a secret?

The thought
soured her stomach. Her arms tightened against her ribcage. "I don’t think
going to New York is a good idea."

"Kat’s
Korner will still be here when we get back," he said quietly.

Of course it
would. "That’s not the issue."

"Then what
is?"

Heat spiraled
through her, shortened her breath as she fought the frustration of trying to
figure him out. "Why don’t you hate me?"

"Sometimes I
think I do."

"You should
despise me."

"To hate is
the same as murder."

"That
doesn’t change how you might feel."

His head tilted
but his mouth looked tight. "It changes how I think."

The ache in her
chest expanded. "What do you want with me?" The strained, desperate
sound of her voice unnerved her and she clutched her purse closer.

"I want you
to go to New York with me." Alec watched her carefully and a quick glance
at his whitened knuckles told her that asking her had cost him more than he’d
care to show. The offer was easier to accept, knowing he might really care.

She breathed a
long exhale. "I could probably leave in a few days."

"Why not
tomorrow?"

"I have a
few visits I need to make." Then she could close Kat’s Korner for a day or
two. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. This could be fun. Like last
night had been.

"What kind
of visits?"

She pushed past
him and opened the door. "You’ve always been nosy. If you must know, this
saint has some good works to indulge in."

She was sure he
couldn’t see her smirk as she walked out.

Driving home,
Katrina thought about that smirk. It had been so long since she’d felt like
teasing. Sure, Rachel brought out laughs and Sharon could coax a smile, but a
smirk? Katrina shook her head as she hung a left onto her road.

Her thoughts
turned to last night. Fishing with Alec hadn’t been as painful as she’d
expected. She’d never gotten around to telling him why she left him at the
altar, and he didn’t ask again. Instead, they kept reeling in the bass, now nestled
in her freezer. She’d found herself relaxing and remembering the past. Back when
fishing allowed an escape from her mother’s dominant restrictions and cold
glances. When time slid away with a young man she found impossible to resist. 

Her fingers
drummed on the steering wheel. With Alec, the past hovered over her and chained
her heart to its memories. Loving him wouldn’t be difficult at all. In fact,
she wasn’t sure she’d ever stopped. Even knowing that now, ten years later,
they were indeed different people with too much baggage for reconcilement.

She drove into
the garage and for a moment sat to absorb the shock of new knowledge.
She
loved him
. And she didn’t want to. Not when it meant running the risk of
losing him again.

Groaning, Katrina
got out of the car and then stomped into the house. She couldn’t make up her
mind what to do about her emotions and the last thing she wanted was for Alec
to take charge.

She threw her
keys on the counter and banged open the cupboard. Teabags waited in a glass
jar. She grabbed one and dropped it on the counter top.

Then she filled a
coffee cup with water. While it heated in the microwave, she changed into
sweats and a t-shirt. Tomorrow she would go see Anthony and afterwards she
would deal with whether or not she should sell Kat’s Korner. Despite the sorry
financial state it was in, she couldn’t quite let go of it.

 Tonight was
relaxation time. She’d have some tea and then putter around in her garden until
dark. Later she’d take a lavender bubble bath. 

Thank goodness
Alec had some sort of phone conference tonight. She needed to think about her
future, what it involved, and if Alec sensed her weakness for him, he would
pounce. It was what made him successful. He had the uncanny ability to sense an
opponent’s fragility and strike at the right time. Her nose wrinkled. Not that
she was an opponent.

The microwave
beeped just as she entered the kitchen. She pulled her gardening gloves from a
drawer, slapped them on the table, then crossed the kitchen and took the cup
from the microwave.  The teabag slipped from her fingers into the cup and she
inhaled its sweet aroma while it steeped.

 There was no use
trying to deny her feelings. She loved Alec and curiosity urged her to see
where their budding relationship might lead.

If Joey were
alive … Her fingers pressed against her temple. He wasn’t. Whatever she did
would affect no one but herself.

*****

Katrina resisted
the urge to check the mirror one more time. Deep breath. Exhale. Only an hour
more to the flight and then they’d land. So far, Alec had said little to her.
Instead, he’d immersed himself in his laptop, answering e-mails and writing
memos.

Smoothing her
knee-length black skirt one more time, she opened the lavatory door and
maneuvered down the narrow aisle to her seat. None of the passengers paid her
any attention and she was glad for it.

She slid into the
aisle seat and risked a peek at his profile. Work still commanded his
attention. The set of his jaw made her think he might be upset.

Oh, well. He’d
invited her. If he was having second thoughts, that was his problem. Now that
she was on her way, thrills raced through her.

New York City. An
international landmark. Universal symbol of freedom and diversity. Prickles
popped up on the back of her hands as her heartbeat increased. The hustle and
bustle of a new place would be just what she needed to relax. Sharon had
already made plans to take the children to Times Square and Katrina couldn’t
wait to go with them.

When the pilot
instructed the passengers to buckle up, turn off electronic devices and prepare
for landing, she grinned. Why hadn’t she done this before? Flown somewhere.

Anywhere.

It was more
exciting than she could have imagined. On the flight home she would sit by the
window and watch the clouds swim past.

But right now she
didn't want to think about going back. This moment, these few days, were all
she would think of.

A click to her
right told her Alec had closed his laptop.

"Finished?"

"No."

She shifted in
her seat to look at him. "Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Can I do
anything?"

"I said no."
This time he met her gaze and what looked like pain flickered in the golden
depths of his eyes.