Remember Love (9 page)

"Not when it
comes to my friends."

"Maybe you
should let Katrina and I work things out on our own." Alec focused on
Katrina through the tiny nursery window. She held a little boy in her lap,
rocking him, touching his hair. Her expression was soft, more peaceful than
he’d seen it yet.

Thoughtful, he
stroked his chin. Had she looked like this with Joey? Mothering, sweet,
unselfish love. Nothing like her own mother, he bet.

Or his.

Rachel shifted
beside him as parents came to the nursery door.

"There
shouldn’t be anything to work out," she said quietly.

He didn’t look
away from Kitty, the timid sway of her dress as she stood from the rocking
chair an unexpected entrancement. Fingers tightening into fists, he swallowed
and forced his gaze to Rachel’s face.

"Did you
realize I never knew I had a son?"

The spatter of
freckles across Rachel’s cheeks darkened as the blood drained from her face. "Shhhhh."
Her gaze traveled past him.

"Another
secret?" he bit out.

"Alec
Munroe." A gnarled voice interrupted them.

Alec dragged his
sight from Rachel and let it rest on the Widow Carmichael. His jaw tightened. "Widow."

"I heard you
were in town. Exorcising your demons, I hope."

So close to the
truth, but not the truth she’d guess. "How is your family?"

"Still
mourning the loss of my son." The cane beneath her palm trembled and on
instinct he moved forward. She jerked back. "You should leave. We don’t
want you."

Her lips, already
thin, flattened into a line on her craggy face. She’d aged, not gracefully like
Ms. Lincoln, but as though she’d been dragged through an unkind time, the
contents of her soul imprinted in each ravaged line of her face.

Alec frowned down
at her. "What happened wasn’t my fault."

"The Lord
sees. He knows." At that cryptic remark, she shuffled down the emptying
hall. People made a wide berth for her hunched form.

Alec thumbed the
pockets of his jeans and frowned.

"Ignore 
her." Rachel scowled. "I don’t like you but what happened to Mr.
Carmichael wasn’t your fault. He had it coming, one way or the other."

True, but it
didn’t make Alec happy about the incident. He looked through the nursery window
again, watched as Katrina cleaned up toys, wiped down chairs. Her hair hung
loose in gentle waves, framing a face that hadn’t gone unscathed by time
either.

Moving towards
the nursery entrance, he saw Rachel leave the church from the corner of his
eye. Good. He waited by the door. Hallway lights were turned off. The doors to
the sanctuary closed and people sent him funny looks as they left.

He waited until
there was complete silence. One light left on, near the exit.

He peeked around
the corner of the doorframe but saw only darkness in the nursery. Had Katrina
left? How could he have missed her? He ploughed through the doors but stopped
when he rounded the corner of the nursery wall. There, shadowed in a rocking
chair near a crib, she sat.

Didn’t even look
up.

"I’ll lock
up, Joe. I just need a minute." Her voice fell flat in the room, a hollow
echo of the Kitty he once knew.

"It’s Alec,"
he said, limbs frozen by the dead stillness of her posture.

A small sigh, the
slightest droop to her shoulders, then she rose as though an old woman,
arthritis-crippled. She shuffled past him and some deep part of him, a sliver
of feeling for the girl he’d once loved, compelled him to reach out and touch
her shoulder.

Just the
slightest brush of his fingers against cotton.

Her gaze crept to
his. Dry-eyed.

Any anger he’d
nursed towards her dissipated beneath the stark desert of her features. Digging
in his pocket, he pulled out a slip of paper and held it out to her.

"This is
Sharon’s new cell number. Call her as much as you want."

Katrina’s eyes
flickered, then she reached out and took the paper. "Thank you." With
hardly a change in her expression, she left him alone in the darkened room.

CHAPTER
NINE

"She’s all
settled?" Katrina’s hands clasped tight as she studied Alec hunched over
her desk. Last night’s exchange replayed in her mind. Alec had taken Sharon and
her family to New York and he must’ve returned yesterday, though why he’d shown
up at the church when they’d planned to work on books Thursday was beyond her.
He could’ve given her Sharon’s number today.

"They’re
fine. It’s a good neighborhood." He pored over the scribbled ledgers,
voice distracted. "I bought the condo for an investment and it’s just
sitting there. She’ll take care of it for me and in return she’s got a cheap
place to live."

"Sharon told
me you’re not charging her rent."

Alec shrugged and
didn’t look at her. Sucking in a groan, Katrina stood up. She didn’t know what
to think of him anymore. As a young man he’d been ruthless, self-absorbed.
Charming, but still completely selfish.

Like she’d been.

This act of
kindness unbalanced her. She paced the small office, hands shoved into the
pockets of her faded jeans. What should she think of him now? Jilted bridegroom
with motive for revenge or a man returning for . . .what? Love? Impossible. Her
forehead wrinkled.  

It didn’t make
sense he’d come home for a reunion with people who’d called him a liar and
blamed him for what happened to Mr. Carmichael. He’d mentioned business that
first day in the store.

What business?
She could ask, but it felt like prying. Chewing her inner cheek, she paused in
her pacing to glance at his dark head bent over her desk. They’d been in the
office now for two hours, ever since the store closed. She pressed her fingers
to her eyes. Her emotions teetered between trust and suspicion. Torn. She hated
that feeling.

Finally, Alec
swiveled in the chair and faced her, mouth grim.

"You need an
accountant."

"I can’t
afford one."

"Your math
skills stink. Also, pay attention to prices. You’re being overcharged for office
items you can buy cheaper in bulk."

"I do my
best," Katrina answered defensively. Her glasses began to slip down her
nose and she pushed them up quickly. She hadn’t asked for a lecture on her
mathematical abilities or lack of business sense.

"Why did you
decide to let me partner in?" Alec studied her carefully, his neatly
combed hair contrasting with the shadow darkening his cheeks and jaw.

The question
caught Katrina off-guard. "I knew I needed help."

"Then let me
help."

A hard gulp. "You’re
right. You have experience and your offer seemed like an answer to prayer."

"Did Joey learn
about God too?"

His abrupt change
of subject halted her stiff pacing. "I became a Christian shortly after he
was born. Yes, he knew Jesus and loved Him."

Alec’s eyes
darkened and for a second Katrina thought she saw pain before it was quickly
masked.

"I went to
church too," he said after a moment. "Became a Christian, tried to
live right."

"Wow."
Katrina didn’t bother to hide her surprise and gaped at him. "When was
this?"

"A few
months ago. It was a good church, I just move around too much and staying
involved became challenging, so I stopped going." His fingers drummed the
edge of her desk before he abruptly stood. "Let’s get some dinner."

"Out, like a
restaurant?"

"You need to
eat."

The lights
flickered and then came back on just in time for her to see his frown. "Did
you pay your electric bill?"

"No, I
bought new computers instead." Did he really believe she was that much of
a ditz? Or just irresponsible? "Of course, I paid it. Sometimes the wires
short." She pointed to the metal box peeking out from behind the door. "If
it ever happens, there’s the breakers. Just flip them and the lights will be
fine."

"Does Lynn
have trouble with the Pizza Place’s breakers shorting?"

"I really
don’t know." Her stomach growled. Maybe she could handle a meal with him after
all. "C’mon. I’m hungrier than I thought."

And so, ten
minutes later, Katrina found herself sitting across from him next door. He’d
been right, she was starving and after two slices of gooey pepperoni pizza she
finally felt full.

Alec paid and she
let him. Something shifted inside when she’d found out he was a Christian. His
confession explained the used Bible he’d brought to church. During the meal
they talked. She was curious as to whether he’d converted or simply went to
church. From what he said, it sounded as if being a Christian was as real to
him as it had once been to her, and that made her want to trust him.

"What did
you think of the home movies?" she asked on the short walk through the
parking lot. The sky had darkened to an inky black and a warm wind feathered
through her hair. It was comfortable, the thick perfume of imminent rain
relaxing her, and she suddenly wanted to hear what he thought of their son.

"Joey was
beautiful." Alec walked beside her with his head down. "Funny and
smart."

"Yes, he
was." She gripped her purse. "Please forgive me, Alec."

"I made
myself difficult to find. And with mom sending back your letters . . ."
His voice tightened. "It’s hard to believe I never suspected I had a son.
He was precious, Katrina. A gift I missed out on."

Katrina stopped
at her car, her breath shallow. She wanted to apologize again. Forever, because
she could never take back her mistakes. Regardless of his mom’s deception, she
could have done so much more. Looked him up on any social media site. Googled
his name until she found a number or an address. Shoulders heavy, she fumbled
to get the car keys from her purse.

"We can go
to his grave later, if you’d like," she said. The situation with Sharon
had derailed their plans.

"I went by
myself."

"Oh."
Katrina hid her dismay by digging harder through her purse, head bent. Even
though she hadn’t wanted to share that special place initially, the idea had
grown on her. The hard coldness of the keys connected with her fingers. She
clasped them and looked up.

Alec rubbed the
back of his neck. "I don’t want to blame you, Katrina." His hands
slid down her arms, a warm friction of skin against skin, and then fell to rest
on her wrists. "Thank you for telling him about me. He said hi on his
sixth birthday. Do you remember that movie?"

She nodded, vision
blurring. The contents of every single video were forever etched onto her soul.

"I wish I
could’ve known him." Alec’s hands fell away, leaving her cold. His tone
became brisk. "I’ll be back in the store tomorrow to organize your books
and move those couches out."

"Okay,"
Katrina said without thinking, then paused. "What’s happening with the
couches?"

"They’re
going. No one sits in them and drinks your coffee. The café aspect of Kat’s Korner
doesn’t work."

A memory flashed
through her, Joey asleep on a couch, his chubby cheeks curved in childlike
bliss. She clamped her teeth together. "The couches are staying. So is the
coffee."

"Katrina,
you don’t even drink coffee, let alone know how to make it."

"I have an
espresso machine." Her chin jutted out.

"Which no
one knows how to use." He must have seen her surprise because he smirked. "Sharon
told me how the store is run and some ideas she had for improvement."

"Why didn’t
she tell me?"

"You’ve had
a hard time. She knew how important constancy was to you. She said she
mentioned a few things but you promptly forgot about them."

"Oh."
What more was there to say? Joey was gone. Things had to change. Besides, Alec
was right. Her relaxed way of running things didn’t work and it was time
someone called her on it. She just wished the one pointing out her lack of
business skills didn’t have to be Alec. He had the Hawk gleam in his eye again,
making plans no doubt for the revision of her life. She peered up at him from
behind her glasses and hoped she didn’t look as owlish as she suddenly felt.

His cheeks moved
when he smiled, and little crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes,
crinkles he hadn’t had at eighteen. Katrina sighed. So much time passed, so
much lost. All her fault.

"I’ll see
you tomorrow, then?" she asked.

"Bright and
early."

"Do you
think Sharon will be all right?" Katrina opened her car door and slid in.

"She’s fine.
Custody is already being filed."

"She won’t
be in trouble for leaving the state with the kids, will she?"

"We handled
it. Go home and get some sleep, little owl."

She scowled up at
him. "That’s worse than Kitty."

"If you
didn’t insist on wearing those glasses, I wouldn’t be tempted to use your old
nickname." He leaned closer to look at her beneath the moonlight and his
eyes gleamed. "Those aren’t the same ones from high school, are they?"

"No,"
she snapped, and pulled her door closed.

At home, Katrina
opened her Bible and tried to study the second lesson in the little devotional
she’d bought last Christmas but had used only once. Concentration eluded her.
Finally she closed the devotional and the Bible with a thud. Would Alec forgive
her? She couldn’t forgive herself. Now here he was, the man she used to love,
the father of her only child, back in town and doing his best to disrupt her
life. 

She threw on cotton
pajamas and walked slowly to Joey’s room. At one point she’d considered selling
Kat’s Korner and running from the town that knew her every sorrow. Escape had
seemed like such a good idea but now she knew how foolish it was to think she
could ever leave the pain behind. Fourteen hours of labor, fifty-five minutes
of pushing, and then the most amazing gift in her arms, forever altering her
life. Something like that couldn’t be forgotten merely by a switch of physical
location. Perhaps God, in his wisdom, had sent Alec home for a reason.

But what, Lord
?
Not expecting an answer, not waiting for one, she stepped into the room and sat
on Joey’s old twin bed. Three years had turned the space into a small guest
room. His toys no longer littered the carpet. Airplanes, Legos, and balls had
been given away. Her hand smoothed the floral comforter. Sheets had been
changed to a neutral beige. And yet, sometimes she thought she could smell him.
Sometimes she thought she could feel his small hand in hers, hear him asking
for one more song before bed.

When the familiar
sorrow came, she didn’t fight it. God had seen fit to give her Joey, and he’d
seen fit to let Joey be taken away.

Blessed be the
name of the Lord, she thought. And didn’t try to stop her tears.

*****

"He’s doing
what?"

"I told you,"
Katrina swallowed the rest of her breadstick before finishing the sentence. "He’s
changing everything. There’s no more couches. I don’t recognize my accounts. He
actually put all of the book-keeping on the computer and tried to explain it to
me. I was completely lost."

The aroma of
baking bread swirled around Katrina. She sniffed appreciatively. Even though
she’d had pizza with Alec last night, she didn’t mind a quick lunch with Rachel
today. Fridays were slow anyhow, giving her and Alec more free time to make
changes in the store.

"You did all
this in one day?"

"Well, not
all of it, but he’s just as hard a worker as he was in high school."

"He had that
summer job, right? Working at that orange grove?"

"Widow Carmichael’s
daughter and her husband owned it." Remembrance rushed through Katrina,
the scent of Alec’s hard work, a mingling of earth and sweat and citrus tang.
The gleam of tanned skin as his body hardened beneath the strain of labor.

"Kat’s
Korner must look pretty nice." Rachel swigged some of her Coca-Cola.

Katrina banished
the memory. "My walls are white now."

"He moved
the shelving to paint your walls?"

"This
morning, yeah."

"So tell him
to stop."

"I don’t
want to." At Rachel’s lifted eyebrow, Katrina shrugged. "I kind of
like the changes."

"Don’t let
him run all over you."

"Please, I’m
not an infatuated seventeen year-old anymore. Everything he’s done has changed
the shop for the better." A waiter appeared and refilled her water. "Did
you find any more information on him?"

"Nope."
Rachel dipped her slice of pizza into a bowl of spicy sauce. "I still
don’t know why he’s back with this sudden interest in you. If I wasn’t working
another case right now, I’d head up to his office in New York and poke around."

The idea didn’t
seem so smart now. Or necessary. She shifted in her seat. "I think he’s
fine. He’s a Christian, you know."

"Doesn’t
make him perfect."

She smiled at
Rachel’s surly tone. Rachel would find fault in every man until she chose to
forgive. Sometimes Katrina wanted to warn her friend about that attitude, but too
often she agreed with Rachel’s cynical observations.  

Katrina finished
her pizza and leaned back with a contented sigh. Now that Joey and her mother’s
anniversary had passed, she was ready to look forward to the future. Alec was
at the office, punching in numbers and doing inventory. Maybe she should bring
him some pizza. He’d looked so cute this morning, dressed in baggy jeans and armed
with determination.

Rachel’s lips
puckered.  "You’ve gotta stop doing that." She dropped some cash on
the bill tray.

"Am I
sucking my cheeks in again?" Katrina touched her face.

"No, you’re
smiling like a love-blinded teenager. It’s disgusting."

"I’m just
excited to have professional help with the bookstore."

"Right."

"Okay."
She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "I guess I still have
soft feelings for him. Not love. Just feelings. Don‘t you think God may have
brought him here for a reason?" Proof God hadn’t abandoned her after all,
that maybe he cared at least a little.