Remember Love (4 page)

I roll over, searching blindly for my phone to turn off my alarm. I set it last night before I went to bed. I wanted to get up in time to eat breakfast with my mom before heading back to Louisville. Somehow, overnight, it became
Louisville
and not home. What a difference a night can make.

I take
some clothes from my suitcase and head downstairs to shower. After stripping off my shorts and tank I look at myself in the full-length mirror on the back of the door. I pull my ponytail holder off letting my brown hair fall around my shoulders. I step closer and stare at my reflection. My full lips are my favorite feature followed by dark blue eyes, long eyelashes, and a very small cleft in my chin.

I scan my body, not too bad if I do say so myself.
All that walking around campus actually paid off. Turning away from the mirror, I open the shower door and adjust the water. When it’s hot enough, I step in and close my eyes my thoughts revolving to the day Tucker and I played in the rain.

It w
as a few weeks after he moved to the farm, and we’d been playing in the hayloft when a light rain started to fall. We climbed down and ran out into the field behind the barn, and with our arms spread wide, we spun around in the rain. We were soaked by the time we went back into the barn, and we sat in that hayloft until we were almost dry before making our way back home. I smile at the memory.

After
shutting off the water, drying off and brushing my teeth, I dress myself in my comfy clothes before throwing my hair up in a messy bun. I gather up my stuff and head back upstairs to pack it away and bring my suitcase downstairs.

When I enter the kitchen
, Mom has already placed our breakfast on the table. Homemade biscuits and Karo Syrup. Yum! I put a little butter on my plate, pour the syrup over top of it, and mix it together before opening my biscuit and putting it on top.

I say to Mom,
“So, I probably won’t be home again until after graduation.”

“I kind of figured that
. Where did you and Tucker run off to yesterday?”

Not sure
how much to tell her, I shrug and continue eating.

“
Don’t just shrug your shoulders at me, Brenna. You know where y’all went.”

“We went fishing and then we sat and talked for a while. It’s been a long time since I hung out with Tucker. I didn’t realize how much I missed him.”

Mom looks up from her plate and I think she’s about to say something, but apparently changed her mind because she continues to eat instead.

After I finish eating,
I pick up my plate and put it in the sink before turning to face Mom. “All right. Well I’m off I will text you when I get back to my apartment so you know I made it safely.”

“Be careful
. I’ll see you at graduation.”

I walk
over and lean down to hug her. “I love you, Mom. See ya then.”

“Love you too. S
ee ya soon.”

And with that
, I am out the door and on the road.

I decide to take the back
country roads, giving myself time to think and process all that’s happened in the last day and a half. I’ve thought of Tucker many times over the years and wondered what he was up to. He was such a big part of my life for those six years and then… nothing. Like he dropped off the face of earth.

I happened to
see him a couple times after I got my driver’s license, but it was always at a distance, and he was gone before I could catch up to him. The only time I got close enough to talk to him was the day before I left for college.

I was on my way to McD
onald’s and saw him sitting on the hood of his car next to Wesley Mitchell. I pulled up in front of them and peeked out my windshield. Tucker was staring at me. When I got out and leaned against my SUV, Tucker slid off the hood and nodded at me. Then he got into his car and drove off.

“
Wesley, what’s wrong with Tucker?” I ask.

“Don’t know, why?”

“He seems to hate me.”

“Nah
, Brenna. He doesn’t hate ya, he just doesn’t want to talk to ya.”

“Do you know why?”

Wesley smirks. “I have no idea.”

I know he’s lying; he’s been friends with Tucker for a
while, since they went to high school together. “I think you do know.”

“What’s it matter if I do? You
’re about to leave town anyway. Maybe it’ll be good for him. He can finally move on.”

“You are such an ass
, Wesley. Tucker and I were best friends for a long time and then one day, nothing. The past two years, me and you have been on and off. Even though y’all were friends, he’d never come around if I was there. I just wanted to know if you knew why.”

I turn around to get back in my SUV and before I shut the door
, I hear Wesley say, “Because I got to you first.”

As Wesley gets
into his car, I ask him, “What’s that mean?”

“It means,
Tucker was waiting to date you, but I got to you first.”

I closed my car door and I sat there
dumbfounded, watching as Wesley drove away. He is one person I won’t miss when I leave.

I need to pull over
. I have to know if what Wesley said was true. I search for a place to stop and when I finally see one, I pull off the road and park, immediately searching for my phone. I need to call Tucker. When I unlock my phone I see that I already have a text message waiting.

Tucker: Just wanted to say good
mornin’ n tell u to have a safe trip.

I look at the time on the text and see it was only about fifteen minutes ago
. I must have been lost in my thoughts and not heard my phone.

Brenna: Good
mornin’ I am on the road now.
I have a question.

It didn’t take him long to reply.

Tucker: u better not be txt and driving!

Brenna: no worries pulled over to txt u.

Tucker: good now what’s ur question?

Brenna: u member the day before I left and I saw u and
Wesley?

Tucker: yeah y?

Brenna: I just remembered something he said to me.

Tucker: what?

Brenna: he said ‘because I got you first’

It takes him a few minutes to reply this time a
nd I’m getting a little anxious and my fingers are tapping a steady beat on my steering wheel as I wait for his response. Finally, my phone dings.

Tucker: and? Is that all he said?

Brenna: no. He also said that u were waiting for me to be able to date.

Tucker: yeah but I waited too long he got u first.

Brenna: oh so is that y u avoided me those 2 yrs?

Tucker: yeah Brenna that’s part of it and the rest I will tell u when I c u this
wknd.

Brenna: k.

Tucker: B careful n txt when u get there. TTYS.

Brenna: TTYS

It felt like I was trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle. I finished the outside border and now I’m searching for the inside pieces. But there are always those few pesky pieces that seem to be hiding from me. That’s exactly how I feel. I’m working toward the middle but those few damn pieces have slipped off the counter onto the floor and the carpet ate them. I just hope I find them and get this damn puzzle solved soon.

All right.
Enough thinking for one day. I crank up my stereo and pull out onto the highway. The rest of my trip is spent singing along to whatever song is playing with no thoughts of what I may have missed out on with Tucker all these years.

I
arrive at my apartment a little after one o’clock, grab my suitcase, and head inside. I have two classes tomorrow and two on Wednesday. After that, finals and graduation. I have to decide what to with the rest of my life once this chapter is closed.

I send a quick text to my mom and then Tucker
, letting them both know I made it here safely. Then I drop my phone on the table and go into my room where I throw myself down on the bed. A nap sounds like a brilliant idea. No more thoughts, memories, or worries today. They will all be there tomorrow.

I woke up around eight last night with my stomach rumbling and my phone beeping, letting me know I had at least one missed text. I crawl out of bed and head to the kitchen, grabbing my phone from the table to see that I actually had several missed messages. One was from my Mom, letting me know she got my text. The other three were from Tucker.

Tucker: glad u made it back safely

Tucker: what do u want to do next wknd?

Tucker: Brenna?

Oh great, he probably thinks I’m ignoring him. I grab a drink from the fridge and jump up on the counter to text him back.

Brenna: Hey sorry I crashed n just got up. What
do u want to do?

F
ive minutes later my phone rings. I look at the screen and it’s Tucker. Guess he didn’t want to type.

“Hello.”
I answer.

“Hey.”

Tucker and I talked for about an hour before he said he had to go because he had to work the next morning. I caught up on what he’d been up to for the past few years. I kind of feel bad I didn’t even ask him Saturday when we were only talking about me.

I
learned that he is a mechanic and works on anything with a motor. I can see him now, shirtless, bent over the hood of a car, covered in grease. I’m seriously thinking about tearing up my Xterra just to get him to take a peek under the hood.

He also told me that he still helps my Pa out when
needed. I told him that was very nice of him and he responded. “Well he was good to us. I have a lot of respect for him.”

I was all smiles after hanging up
. How could I not be? This man is merely a bigger version of the boy who stole my heart so long ago. I can see myself falling in love with Tucker, but first, I have to figure out whatever it is I’m supposed to remember. I don’t think it’s any of the memories that have come to mind recently. Except for the stuff with Wesley, my memories have only been of the times Tucker and I spent together.

I feel like my world has been tilted on its axis in less than three days. What the hell will happen when I see him again?
I don’t want to move too fast, yet I have a feeling that isn’t how this is gonna work. Everything always comes so natural between the two of us that I don’t think nature will slow down for me. I make the decision in this moment that whatever the future brings for us; I’m not going to fight it.

I turn on my radio and go into the kitchen to fix m
yself something to eat. I’m dancing around while making a sandwich, listening to Luke Bryan sing
Country Girl
and I shake it for him. Hey, it’s Luke Bryan. What girl wouldn’t shake it for him?

Le
aning against the counter as I eat, and I hear a song I haven’t heard in years. The lyrics remind me of Tucker. I stop eating while Miranda Lambert sings about her and Charlie boy. So many things ring true about this song that it could have been written for us, except I was the one who wanted to leave town. And that’s exactly what I did when I turned eighteen.

I broke
every single promise made by two young kids. I left Tucker behind, not because I wanted to, but because I thought that was what he wanted. That can’t be what this is all about. The promises made back then. There has to be more. I’m determined now more than ever to figure this out. I don’t want to end up like this song, and for him to be just a distant memory from way back when.

If I get the chance
, I’m grabbing onto him with both hands and never letting go. I just hope this is really what he wants, and he isn’t out to hurt me because of my choices. Or something I can’t remember from the past.

No
more stressing. I have a whole week to ponder the “what if’s.” I turn down the volume some on my radio. Grabbing my Kindle, I changed into a tank top and shorts. After crawling into bed, I decide to get lost in the fictional world of a good book for a little while. There’s nothing like a good, hot, and steamy read to divert your thoughts from reality to fantasy.

* * *

The next few days pass by in a blur. Tucker and I talked via text daily, but it’s only small talk. I don’t think he’s going to make this easy on me and just tell me what it is he wants me to remember. I racked my brain all week. The only things I can think of are the memories of our time on the farm.

We also spent time together at the town fair each year until he stopped coming around. Maybe that’s what I need to focus on. I swear
, I’m almost ready to call a psychic hotline and beg for answers. I lie down on my couch and try to bring that last summer back.

Tucker and I are on the Ferris wheel
, stopped at the top, when I ask him what his mom meant when she said I couldn’t have both her men. Tucker looks over at me, shaking his head, and I notice his cheeks are a little pink. It’s not cold, so he must be blushing.

“Tucker, why are you blushing?”

“I’m not blushing.”

“Uh
, yeah you are. You’re cheeks are pink and it’s not cold. So you’re blushing and I wanna know why.”

Tucker rolls his eyes at me and turns to look out across the town. “She was talking about me
, Brenna. She meant you can’t have my dad and me.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?”

“What else am I supposed to say? You’re not mine
Tucker, so why would she say that?”

Tucker
gives me a look that makes me feel like a million butterflies are fluttering their wings inside me. He’s never looked at me like this before.

“Do you remember all those times we talked about the future?”
he asks.

“Yeah.
What about them?”

“
Then you should know. I’ve always been yours, Brenna. You just need to open your eyes and see it.”

A knock
on my door jolts me out of my memory. I swear, people have the worst timing. I had it right there in my grasp. I know there’s more but what? Ugh! I wish they’d stop knocking and go away.

I heave myself
off the couch and walk over to the door. Standing on my tiptoes, I look through the peephole and see it’s my neighbor, Lexi Allen. What could she want? Don’t get me wrong, I like Lexi. She is one of the few people I have associated with since I moved here. But I want to finish my daydream.

I
sling open the door just as she is heading back into her apartment.

“Hey Lexi, what’s up?”

“Hey,” she says. “I was just bored and thought I’d see what you were doing.”

“Not much
, I was just lying on the couch, daydreaming.”

“Oh yeah? ‘B
out what?”

I motion for Lexi to come in. Maybe she can help me figure this out. I go into the kitchen to grab drinks for us and then drop down beside Lexi on the couch.

“So, you know I went home last weekend, right?”

Le
xi nods her head so I continue.

“I had th
is feeling, like change was coming. And as soon as I get into town, I ran into Tucker.”

“Tucker, as in the boy you used to hang out with all the time?”

Yeah, I had told Lexi one night my whole life story, hence the reason I no longer party. I’m an open book when I’m drunk. Not that I have anything to hide, but people don’t need my whole life history in one night.

“Yeah
, that’s Tucker.”

“So what happened?” Lexi turns towards m
e, all ears, so I tell her about the entire weekend, from the moment I got into town to the memory I was thinking about before she knocked on the door.

When I’m done she seems to be gathering her thoughts. I hope she has something awe inspiring to say
, I need all the input I can get.

“Brenna, I think you need to remember the rest of it.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. Could you tell me something I don’t know?”

Lexi rolls her eyes at me and mutter
s something that sounds a lot like “smart ass.” I just smile at her because, once again, tell me something I don’t know.

She says,
“Whatever it is that he thinks you don’t remember is the key of this.”

“Ugh Lexi
. You really aren’t helping at all. I already know this. I’ve been racking my since I saw him on Friday. Is it something that he said and I don’t remember, like a promise we made? Or I made? Or is it the reason he stopped coming around? Do those two things connect or are they unrelated? Was it about Wesley?”

“
Stop. You’re going to drive yourself crazy. You said he was coming here this weekend, right?”

“Yeah, Saturday.”

“Well first off, I want to meet him. Second, just ask him.”

“What if he
still won’t tell me?”

Lexi grins from ear to ear and I know that whatever comes out of her mouth is gonna
either get me in trouble, or I’ll want to kiss her for it.

“Well
,” she says, “you do what all other women do when they want something. Distract him with your body.”

“Are you suggesting I seduce him?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Are you fucking serious right now
? It’s been a week and you expect me to throw myself at him?”

“Oh hell
, Brenna, you’ve known him your whole life. It’s not like I’m telling you to go down to the club pick up a stranger and hump his leg. This is Tucker. Your best friend. The one that got away. This is your second chance. What do you have to lose?”

I drop my head into my hands and groan
. As much as I hate to admit it, she’s right. What do I have to lose? Whatever he wants me to remember is the key.

After talking about my man problems,
Lexi and I hang out the rest of the night, watching movies and stuffing ourselves with junk food.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I’
m really excited and nervous as hell to see Tucker again. I feel like I’m going on my first date all over again. I’ll get answers from Tucker tomorrow, no matter what I have to do to get them.