Remember Me (Defiant MC) (2 page)

“I’m not random,” he reminded her. 

She thought about that. “No, you’re not.”  They’d met under odd circumstances.  She was a reporter and she’d driven out to Quartzsite to interview Promise, Gray’s girl.  It was a whole lot of mess about cults and shit and Maddox was happy the bastards in charge of it all were in a cage now.  But the second he saw Alice Carter sitting in that crappy bar, frowning at her laptop, he knew she was something he just had to have.  

She’d stepped on him a little when she mentioned she was getting over a girlfriend, but luckily Alice was a player for both teams.  Now if only he could convince her to bat a full inning in his presence, well then he would thank Jesus and become a Mormon for at least a day or two. 

She stared at his hand as he moved it purposely over the silken flesh of her left breast.  Then she pushed him away and began searching for her clothes.  Maddox took the broad hint and rolled over onto his back, letting his arm rest across his eyes.  Fun times were over.   

Alice seemed displeased with him.  “Goddamn it, haven’t you ever had a relationship before?”

She was talking about something other than a roll in the sheets.  Mad knew she wanted him like hell but that’s all it ever was.  A quick bang or two and he was back on his bike, careening down the desert highway.  Oh, he wasn’t complaining.  Alice was too complicated in the head.  He didn’t have the energy to deal with her on that level.  Frankly, he didn’t really have the will to deal with any woman on that level.  It opened the doors to a whole lot of pain.  He knew all about it already.   

“Relationship,” he frowned, trying out the word and staring at the ceiling beams. 

“Yeah,” Alice shoved him with the palm of her hand.  She climbed back on the bed and sat cross legged.  She always smelled like vanilla.  “You know, hand holding and ‘I love you’ and not minding when someone else’s hair is clogging your sink.  A relationship.” 

“Aw, sweetie,” he took her hand. “I didn’t know you cared that much.” 

“Screw you,” she shoved him again, but she was smiling.  “No, really, Mad.  Haven’t you ever fallen for anyone?”

He turned away from her.  “Nope.” 

Alice rested her chin on his shoulder.  “I think you’re lying,” she said softly, and kissed his cheek.  “I think something or someone awful happened to yo
u once and that’s why you go pussy hopping as if you’re trying think through your dick.” 

Maddox bolted upright and hurtled off the bed.  Alice gasped and he felt her eyes on him as he began furiously pa
wing through the mess of belongings strewn on the floor.  “What the hell are you doing?” she asked in an incredulous voice.

“It’s late, Al.  I’m getting dressed and getting on my damn way.”   He located his jeans and pulled them on.  His boxers were nowhere in sight but fuck it.  Mad pulled on his t-shirt and shrugged into his worn Defiant cut.  His dark hair reached just past his chin.  He knew how the rakish look appealed to the fairer sex but his hair whipped around like a flag out there on the open road and interfered with his vision.  He couldn’t find the bandana he’d used to tie it back on the ride out here but fuck that too. 

“Mad,” Alice reached for him softly.  “Look, I’m sorry.  I was being a bitch.”  She did look sorry as she tried to pull him back.  “Why don’t we go grab some dinner before you go?”

Maddox shook his head.  “Nah, I think we’re done here.” 

Alice sighed and chewed her lip.  “We’re friends, Mad.  You know that, right?”

He paused, turning his back to her.  “Yeah, I know that, Alice.” 

Then he left, unintentionally slamming the door to her apartment before she could respond.  He heard the door creak open and the sound of her voice calling after him but he forged briskly ahead, not pausing until he reached his bike in the sweltering parking garage.  Then he stopped moving only long enough to swing his leg over the hot seat, rev the engine, and peel out.  He didn’t even look to see if any other vehicles approached. 

Once he got out of the smoggy oppression of Phoenix the road felt good.  Beyon
d the western end of the valley traffic was sparse and that was good too.  Maddox kicked up his speed a notch and tried to push her out of his mind.  Her face wasn’t welcome there, nor was the memory of her body or the sweet lilt of her voice.  It wasn’t Alice’s fault and Mad started to feel a bit sorry he’d taken off the way he did.  He believed her when she pledged her friendship but there were some things he couldn’t talk about.  Even among the Defiant men. The only one who knew was Orion, and only because Maddox had drunkenly blurted it all out one night. Mad remembered plain as day how the Defiant Motorcycle Club President had fixed him with that piercing blue-eyed glare.

“Maddox,” he growled.  “The best way for a man to stay whole is to keep his nuts out of the past.”

Hell, he wasn’t even a man when he’d known her.  Eighteen years old doesn’t make a man, though he would have argued otherwise at the time.  It was his senior year of high school when she’d descended on Contention City full of fire and nerve.  She seemed to hate him on sight. 

“I don’t fucking speak Spanish, you prick,” she’d hissed irritably the first time they met, letting him know she wouldn’t stand for his assumptions. 

Maddox had held his hands out in mock apology but the truth was she had him right then.  Darkly beautiful, brimming with spirit and vinegar, she seemed to think she had him figured out and didn’t like what she came up with.  She was irresistible to Maddox.  He’d never met a girl as sharply intelligent and as immune to his charms.  It was all that much sweeter when he took her in his arms for the first time. 

Maddox squinted into the setting sun until his eyes pained him.  He would not think her name.  She was the reason he never went back there, no matter how much the old man begged on the rare occasions he dragged his tired ass out to Quartzsite to see his youngest son.

Gabriela.

Maddox closed his eyes for a few heartbeats and risked getting splattered on the I-10 as his guts turned inside out.  Those were some cursed syllables to Maddox McLeod. 

When he opened his eyes again a big rig was closing in fast from behind, honking like a son of a bitch.  Maddox sped up and leaned forward to let the hot wind comb his hair, moving it back and out of his face.  Despite all the hurt which came from that name, Maddox couldn’t bring himself to hate her.  No, that was an emotion he reserved for someone else, a man who he feared to be in the same room with again for all the violence that would come tumbling out. 

Genetic bonds didn’t mean shit when it came to brotherhood.  You could be raised in the same house, share the same blood, and yet be cold as strangers.  If her name was a curse then his was pure bile.  The old man knew better than to speak it often but sometimes it slipped out.  It was inevitable, Mad reasoned.  After all, that guy was the son who stayed in place and took care of people.  The good son. 

As Maddox began riding down into the flat stretch of scrubby desert which was home, the sun ducked behind the small mountain with a clumsily painted Q on the side.  He wouldn’t have any more thoughts about ancient bullshit.  What was done was done.  There was no point in getting all riled up about it.  Maddox never intended to see either Gaby or his brother again.

The old man was a different story though.  Maddox felt a pang when he remembered how worn out his father had looked the last time he’d visited.  Priest McLeod couldn’t ride anymore.  He drove a newer model automatic
F-150 and it just seemed so damned wrong.  Priest’s skin had grown paper thin as the drinking man’s disease ate away his flesh, leaving a confused shell.  Maddox had watched his father for a long, painful moment as he climbed back into his vehicle for the drive back to Contention City.  He’d been a juggernaut in his day, a beast to rival Orion Jackson.  But such was the sad march of time.  Someday everyone turned to dust.  Some went quickly, others faded away with agonizing slowness.  But dust all the same.  And then what the fuck difference would any of it make?  What had it all been for?

Maddox coasted into town, trying to shake off his melancholy.  It wasn’t like him.  When the shadows of mortality did occasionally thr
eaten he usually drank or screwed them away.  Alice had given him a good workout and he wasn’t in need of a woman tonight.  But the bar would be open and his boys would be around.  Maddox felt cheered by the thought.  They were what he needed right now.

He recognized most of the bikes already parked in front of the Riverbottom Bar.  The hour was getting on and the place would only get more crowded.  Maddox wished he’d grabbed something
to eat first.  He knew too well there was nothing at all serviceable in his sloppy trailer.

After a few blinks to get used to the dim interior of the bar, the first person he saw was Rachel.  Sweet, sweet Rachel.  Maddox could get hard just thinking about her, although it was with some guilt now since she belonged to Casper, the Defiant VP.  But they’d had a few good times before all that.  She smiled when she saw him, her dark hair framing her heart-shaped face in perfect order.  He knew he’d gone up in her estimation since the whole mess with her cousin, Promise.  She had to realize he’d only stood up at all because of Grayson, but it didn’t seem to matter to her.  As long as he’d stood. 

Rachel nodded to a greasy fast food bag sitting on the back counter behind the bar.  “Extra burgers if you want one, Mad.” 

He did want one.  He also helped himself to a beer on the way and was tempted to help himself to a grab of Rachel’s ass but didn’t.  Casper wouldn’t like it and even if he hadn’t been VP, Maddox would never have stepped on a brother like that.  He knew he had his flaws, but interfering with the old lady of a man he respected wasn’t one of them. 

The burger was down his throat in two bites and he chased it with a long drink of beer.  It wasn’t enough.  He needed something stronger.  Rachel had already read his restlessness and handed him a shot glass with a roll of her eyes. 

“Three Wise Men,” she said, leaving him to go see about a loud argument at the other end of the bar. 

Maddox closed his eyes and downed the shot in one fiery swallow.   It burned like shit. Brandon hailed him from a nearby table and Maddox sank into a chair gladly. 

“Hey, man,” Brandon smacked him good naturedly as he leaned back into his chair and belched.  “What did you get?”

“Alice,” Maddox smiled. 

Brandon shook his head with a curse and rueful smile.  “Damn, again?  You’re getting a little exclusive there.”

“Nah, that may have been the last time.  She’s found a lady friend she seems to be serious about.”

Brandon was interested.  “No shit.  I’d happily live homeless for a year if I could just get a ticket to that show.”   He leaned in closer.  “Can you get me one?” 

Maddox laughed.  Brandon always entertained him.  He didn’t get nearly half the ass Maddox did and seemed a little in awe. 

“No,” he finally said.  “I can’t even get one.” 

“Damn,” Brandon said with disappointment.  “Look at that.”  He pointed to a blowsy blonde sitting in Abel’s lap.  She appeared to be swallowing his face.  She broke the kiss with a sucking sound and smiled directly at Maddox as her right hand traveled unabashedly between Abel’s legs.

Mad ignored her.  Big Tits Cheryl wasn’t much of a conquest and he only went that way when there was nothing else around.  Besides, it was nice to see Abel having a good time.  The man had been something of a sad sack since his wife took off a year back.  Abel lived down the road a ways.  He was a good mechanic and nothing but loyal to the club.  No, Maddox wouldn’t obstruct his game even if Cheryl wasn’t old news. 

“I’ve had better,” Maddox truthfully told Brandon, looking away as Cheryl began to guide Abel’s hand under her tight shirt. 

Maddox joked with Brandon, drank beer, and began to feel better.  Orion stopped by long enough to give everyone in the room a hard appraisal with his intense blue eyes.  He scowled as two Mojave Marauder prospects began to get rowdy and that’s all it took to calm them down. 

“You think you could take a look at the shitter in the Men’s?” he asked Maddox when he paused at their table. 

It wasn’t exactly what Maddox felt like doing just then but you couldn’t argue with the boss man.  Anyway, he liked feeling like he was contributing to the club. 

“Sure,” he shrugged.  “Someone try to flush a Gila monster again?”

“Fuck, maybe,
” Orion grumbled, keeping one eye on the action at the bar.  Apparently satisfied that everything was in order, he slapped Maddox affectionately on the shoulder and headed out the back, probably to the house where his girl, Kira, would be waiting for him.

Brandon was beginning to doze off on the table.  Maddox kicked his chair sharply and grinned at the torrent of curses which erupted from the bearded man. 

There was a plunger and a bag of tools in a small closet by the office.  After retrieving them, Maddox opened the door to the Men’s Room and saw a hairy ass and a leather cut which spelled out the name of the club. 

Big Tits Cheryl was on the sink with her legs in the air as Abel pounded away.  She didn’t smile at him this time, apparently still insulted by his lack of interest.  She closed her eyes and embarked on a cacophony of small female shrieks, sounding like Meg Ryan in that old eighties flick
When Harry Met Sally.