Renegade (11 page)

“Is that right?”

“I guess Josh has a right to feel that way, considering all the work he did for the ranches hereabouts.”

Sean nodded and tossed back his glass casually. He returned it to the bar noisily and said, “I guess that’s true. Did he mention where these new folks were? Down south somewhere?”

“I think he said the cabin was somewhere up north, but he talked more to Samantha than he did to me.”

“Up north, huh?”

“I didn’t hear no direction,” the brunette added.

“I did,” the bartender chimed in. “He said up north.”

Sean smiled, a friendly smile. He said offhandedly, “Where’s Toby, by the way? He was real friendly to me. He seems to welcome strangers.”

“I guess so, but to be truthful, he’s kind of choosy,” the bartender responded. “He’s a real friend to Samantha, though.”

Sean nodded. “So I guess I’ll be heading up north if I want to find some new information. Thanks.”

Slapping a coin down on the bar, Sean tipped his hat to the brunette and walked out the doorway.

He ascended the staircase of the Sleepy Rest Hotel a few minutes later and knocked on the familiar door. When Samantha answered wearing her saloongirl clothing, he frowned. “Your pa wouldn’t like that neckline.”

“My pa would understand.”

“Would he?” Sean shrugged. “Maybe your pa was broad-minded. I ain’t.” He added without giving Samantha a chance to speak, “I’m headed to scout out that cabin up north.”

“Good.”

“You’ll be here when I come back?”

“I’ll wait.”

“Good.” Stooping, Sean kissed Samantha’s cheek and ordered stiffly, “Be good until then.”

“I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

His glance saying more, Sean started back down the hallway and disappeared from sight.

“Is he gone?”

Samantha jumped with a start and then turned toward Toby when he emerged from the corner of the hallway where he had hidden. She responded, “He’s gone.”

“To scout out that cabin up north?”

“Yes.”

“That’ll give you some time.”

T
ime to do what?
Samantha thought.

As if reading her mind, Toby responded, “You can decide what you want to do by the time he comes back.” He hesitated and then continued. “I sure hope it’s the right thing, too.”

Samantha responded honestly, “The only trouble is that I’m not sure what the right thing is.”

“I wish I could tell you, darlin’, but you’re going to have to figure that out for yourself. Just remember,
you’re going to have to live with whatever you decide for the rest of your life.”

With those words of wisdom, Toby tipped his hat with a half smile and said, “I’ll leave you to your thoughts.”

Samantha did not move until Toby turned the corner of the hallway and also stepped out of sight.

She knew that Sean had checked up on her and that he had probably satisfied himself that she was telling him the truth about Josh Harden, and probably about Toby, too. She expected it. Checking up on details was his way of working, even though she had sensed that he was suspicious that she wasn’t telling him the full truth. She was grateful that Josh had been accommodatingly vocal in his complaints and had been equally vague about the “new people.” Sean should be busy trying to find them for a while…she hoped.

Samantha walked briskly downstairs. She emerged onto the sidewalk in time to see Sean ride off. She was alternately glad he had fallen for her ruse and sad that she had sent him on a wild-goose chase. He had rushed to town the minute he received her telegram. It hadn’t mattered to him whatever else was on his itinerary. He knew her as well as her father did, and he had known something was wrong. She had come first with him from the moment of her father’s death, and he took his responsibilities seriously. Though she was certain his suspicions had not all been allayed, she could not expect more of him than he gave.

But she needed to be sure what to do before she acted. She could not allow Sean’s presence to push her into a hasty decision. With that thought in mind, Samantha turned and started toward the Trail’s End. The bartender knew she was in town and she needed to show up for work. She needed the cover that job provided a little longer.

As much as she wanted to live up to her father’s image and uphold the honor of the profession for which he gave his life, she knew she couldn’t reveal Matt’s secret—not for her own benefit.

Could she?

Jim pulled Helen back from the Trail’s End window, where they saw Samantha watching Sean ride out of town. He drew her toward an empty table. They were seated when Samantha entered and walked toward the bar to a hail of greetings from the fellows standing there. She turned unexpectedly toward him and smiled with a nod.

Jim felt suddenly saddened. She wasn’t jealous. She didn’t have that kind of feeling for him—but he did, for her.

Turning toward Helen, Jim said softly, “Thanks for following my lead when that Pinkerton fella was talking to the bartender.”

“Samantha is my friend, too.”

“I figured whatever Samantha told him—for whatever reason—she needed someone to back her up. I figured I owed it to her to be that person.”

“Me too.”

“You too?”

“Samantha is kind to me. Not that the rest of the women here aren’t. Not that she ever said anything, but Samantha seems to think of me in a different way. I am different from them, I guess.” Helen shrugged. “I’m new to the job here. I have a lot to learn that Samantha already knows.”

“Samantha’s got a second sense about some things.”

“She doesn’t judge, and I’m glad.”

Jim did not respond.

“Don’t feel bad, Jim.” Helen’s dark-eyed gaze searched his. “Samantha is a free spirit. She isn’t ready to settle down.”

Jim replied candidly, “She isn’t ready to settle down with me, you mean.”

“No…no, I don’t mean that!” Helen smiled encouragingly. “You’re a fine man, Jim. You’re more than any woman could ask for, and Samantha knows that.”

“I don’t know if that’s really true.”

“Maybe she knows she’s not ready to settle down. Maybe she sees something in your eyes that she’s not ready for.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe she suggested that you should come to me because she knows I won’t take anything for granted as far as you’re concerned.”

Jim saw sincerity in Helen’s gaze. He smiled. “You’re a nice person, too, Helen.”

“Thank you, Jim. That’s a compliment I don’t usually get here.”

Jim responded, “I don’t know why.”

Helen flushed. “Fellas here tell me I’m pretty. They tell me I dance real good, that I appreciate their humor, and that I’m fun to spend time with. They figure that’s what I want to hear because I’m just doing my job when I’m nice to them.”

“You’re more than that, Helen.” Jim’s brown eyes warmed with sincerity. “You care about people and you’re a good friend to Samantha.”

“I didn’t do anything that she wouldn’t do for me.”

“I suppose that’s why I like you.”

Helen flushed again. “That’s another thing I don’t hear often enough…that a fella
likes
me.”

“Since we have something in common, let’s drink to it.”

Jim raised his glass, then emptied it with a single gulp.

“There’s nobody in this saloon I’d rather spend time with, Jim. So here’s to us.” Helen emptied her glass also, then hiccupped. She raised a hand to her lips and laughed. Somehow breathless, she did not speak when Jim covered her other hand with his.

Matt looked out the window of Tucker’s decrepit cabin as the sun began setting. He had waited for
Tucker to return, but it would soon be dark. If he waited much longer, he would have trouble seeing the trail. Besides, knowing Tucker, he couldn’t be certain where his brother would spend the night.

Pulling the door of the cabin closed behind him, Matt walked toward his horse. He mounted, scrutinizing the surrounding area cautiously before nudging his horse forward. He was riding at a brisk rate when he suddenly realized where he was going.

And he knew why.

Matt rode slowly into Winston, noting that the town had an appealing quality at night with all its shortcomings veiled by the shadows. The boardwalk was no longer uneven and dangerous to those unfamiliar with its terrain. The lack of paving on the main thoroughfare, and even the potholes that were to be avoided at any cost, appeared “quaint.” The pretense of the French boutique with elaborate draping lit by the single, imported lamp in the window seemed interesting rather than garish. The mercantile, with its barrels and boxes lining the walkway, gave the appearance of abundance. But any serious shopper in town knew otherwise. Last but not least, the saloon’s bright, flickering lights, music, and laughter spilling out onto the street were welcoming—a beacon in the dark—instead of gaudy.

The effect was totally contrary to the atmosphere that pervaded the town during daylight hours, but it was comforting in a way. Matt remembered that
comfort because it had offered the only source of relief when cowboys like him were out for a night on the town.

In all, Winston was his home. Its easy familiarity was comforting.

A nagging discomfort surged to life at that thought. At least it would be comforting once he took care of something that gnawed relentlessly at his peace of mind.

Matt dismounted and tied his horse to the rail outside the Trail’s End, then walked inside. His feelings anything but casual, he scanned the noisy interior, his attention coming to rest on the blonde beauty who stood at the bar surrounded by admiring cowpokes. He remembered that he had admired Samantha the first time he saw her, too. In truth, however, admiration had changed into feelings that had become stronger despite his stringent reservations.

Taking a stabilizing breath, Matt approached her. He halted behind her, knowing he had never needed to announce his arrival. He wondered if those circumstances had changed.

She had not needed to look at the doorway of the noisy saloon to know Matt had entered. She had felt him coming.

Realizing she had no choice, Samantha turned toward him. She said casually for the benefit of others, “Well, nice to see you, Matt.”

“I need to talk to you, Samantha.”

Matt’s voice was level and deep, unlike his controlled rage when she found out the secret of his brother’s dual identity.

Aware that others were listening, she maintained rigid control and replied, “I’ll be happy to talk to you, Matt, but as you can see, I’m busy right now. Maybe later.”

“I need to talk to you now.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Samantha—”

“You heard her, fella.” Straightening up, a thin cowpoke slurred with an edge to his voice, “She don’t have time for you now. She’s busy…with us. Ain’t that right, Samantha?”

Matt’s expression hardened. “Samantha can speak for herself.”

“She already did. She said she’ll have time for you later.”

Matt was about to respond when Samantha said laughingly, “I guess if it’s important for Matt to speak to me, the sooner I get it over with, the better.” Matt saw the cowpoke frown before she whispered a few words to him and he suddenly grinned.

Uncertain whether he liked the idea of that whisper, whatever it was, Matt allowed Samantha to take his arm and lead him to a corner where they were afforded semiprivacy. Her back toward the bar and her expression sobering, she asked, “What do you want, Matt? I thought you said everything you wanted to say already.”

Matt’s anger faded the moment her gaze met his. Her eyes weren’t dancing for him anymore.

He began earnestly, “I came here tonight to apologize for what I said to you, Samantha. I was angry. I didn’t want to believe you came to Winston purposely looking for me. I didn’t want to accept the truth that your attraction to me wasn’t spontaneous, and that you weren’t hit as hard when you first saw me as I was by you. When I realized the truth, I felt robbed…cheated somehow.”

“Have you said everything you want to say now, Matt?”

Matt took a step closer. He whispered, “No, I haven’t. I owe you an explanation that I was too angry to give before. I’m sorry about that. The fact is that as far as I know no one knew I had a brother for years—including me. And no one was more surprised than I was when I first found out about Tucker. I didn’t know what to do about suddenly having a twin, especially since he was a wanted man—except that I couldn’t betray him. You were the only thing in my life that seemed to make any sense at that point because I wanted you in a way I’ve never wanted another woman. And you seemed to want me. When you saw Tucker and the truth about your mission came out, it was more than I could bear.”

Samantha attempted to break into Matt’s ardent confession, but Matt persisted. “After you left, it occurred to me that Tucker didn’t know you were connected
to the Pinkerton Agency. I rode out to warn him, but that didn’t work out, either. I don’t know where he is right now. Only one thing is clear. I made a mistake when I sent you away. I made love to you for only one reason—because I wanted to. I need to apologize.”

The saloon’s noise faded from Samantha’s hearing when Matt whispered more softly, “I needed to apologize because I ache inside at the things I said, and because no matter how the truth hurt, I still want to make love to you. I suppose that will never change.”

Samantha swallowed past the lump in her throat that Matt’s confession had raised. She couldn’t tell him about contacting Sean, that he was a senior Pinkerton agent who would follow through on everything she had learned, and who, despite the wild-goose chase she’d sent him on, would be sure to figure everything out now.

She still hoped to find a way to change the situation, but sincerely doubted that she could. She couldn’t tell him that, either.

She hedged. “There are things you don’t know about, things that will forever be between us.”

“Right now nothing stands between us, Samantha.”

Samantha shook her head in silent contradiction. She explained, “I’ve wanted to be a Pinkerton all my life. You were my ticket into the agency. I’ve done things—”

“I’ve done things I regret, too, Samantha.”

“The problem is that I’m not sure I regret those things, Matt!”

Momentarily silent, Matt responded uncertainly, “If you’re not sure, I guess that could be a step in the right direction.”

“I don’t know if it is or not.”

Silence pervaded between them until a slurring voice unexpectedly interrupted, “Are you done talking yet?”

Matt and Samantha’s attention snapped toward the unsteady cowboy who had faced Matt down at the bar. Forcing a smile, Samantha replied, “I told you I’d be back, Ted, didn’t I?”

“That’s right. But I want you to come back now. The boys and me miss you.”

Samantha heard herself reply as she turned back toward Matt, “Well, I guess we’ve both said everything that’s to be said, anyway.” She continued with forced brightness. “So good-bye, Matt. By the way, I accept your apology.”

Fading into the crowd on Ted’s arm, Samantha did not look back to see a stunned Matt remain temporarily motionless at her abrupt dismissal. Nor did she see him turn just as abruptly to leave the lights of the Trail’s End behind him.

The hours stretched longer as the night waned. The smoke in the Trail’s End thickened, and the relentless music from the piano in the corner could hardly
be heard over the increasing din of slapping cards, dancing feet, and raucous laughter.

Samantha regretted not having been able to speak confidentially to Toby after her conversation with Matt. He had watched them as their conversation progressed and had waited among her admirers at the bar. She had longed for his sage advice, knowing it would give her fresh insight into a situation that was unclear at best, but the necessary privacy had been impossible.

When fatigue had eventually taken its toll and Toby left earlier, she had not forgotten the look in his eye. It had said he believed in her no matter what she decided to do. And when Toby walked unsteadily toward the doorway, the truth became suddenly clear. She had depended on him to tell her simply that she had taken the coward’s way out! She had listened to Matt’s explanation and had accepted his apology without offering her own. Nor had she asked him what he intended to do about Jenny, a hard question she needed answered, even though she was unsure whether Matt’s response would make a difference.

She was so confused.

Her smile jarred to artificial brightness by the slurred voice beside her, Samantha wondered how much longer her ardent fans could be put off by her manufactured excuses. She knew there was safety in numbers. She encouraged those numbers with laughing quips and timely departures to entertain
in her faulty contralto. Although she truly liked most of the men surrounding her, she knew there was only one man who held any personal appeal.

The lights of the Trail’s End went dark behind her as Helen, Maggie, and she made their way toward the hotel hours later. Maggie mumbled disgruntedly about going solo for the night when most of the other women had found company. Samantha had allowed Helen and Jim privacy at the saloon doorway after a brief adieu, and had suffered an assault of guilt at the thought of where Sean might be spending the night.

She tried to avoid thinking about Matt as she walked toward the hotel—whether he had taken the opportunity to apologize to Jenny, if Jenny had accepted his apology, and if they had decided to go on from there with business as usual.

That possibility cut cruelly.

“Samantha.”

Samantha turned with a start toward the figure stepping unexpectedly out of the shadows. She struggled not to react when Matt continued with a half smile. “I thought I’d take another chance to talk to you.”

He wasn’t with Jenny.

Samantha’s eyes filled with relieved tears as a hazy glow encompassed him.

She swallowed when he whispered with a question in his voice, “Samantha?”

Unable to respond, she walked wordlessly into his arms.

Toby stood in the shadows a distance away. He had been unable to sleep with thoughts of Samantha heavy on his mind. He had seen her expression when she returned from talking to Matt in the shadowed corner of the Trail’s End. He had not been deceived by her smile. He had known that it wasn’t over between the two of them despite things that went unspoken.

Shortly after he’d left the Trail’s End, Toby realized he would not be able to sleep, not when he believed Samantha wanted to talk to him. So he had gotten up from his bed and dressed, expecting to talk with her when she was finished at the saloon for the night. But he could see now that was not meant to be.

He watched Maggie’s eyes narrow when Samantha walked into Matt’s arms without a word. Helen was silent as Maggie spoke sharply in a tone that brooked no argument and pulled her along beside her. He watched the two women hurry toward the hotel while Samantha and Matt remained behind in the shadows.

Toby frowned when Samantha and Matt followed the same path moments later.

Unable to decide whether Samantha was right or wrong, he was certain of only one thing. Samantha went where her heart dictated. There was honesty in that. He hoped it would be enough.

The door had barely closed behind them before Matt pulled Samantha into his arms and kissed her with familiar hunger. Sharing that hunger, Samantha returned his kiss. Feeling free and unencumbered when the impediment of her clothing fell away, she stood unashamedly naked in their intimacy. She assisted Matt’s effort to shed his clothing with shaking hands. She mumbled an incoherent word when they came together at last.

Compelled by desire and as impatient as he, Samantha made no protest as they slipped to the floor and Matt covered her body with his. She gasped, unable to utter gratification when he entered her in a rush, driving hard against her. Passion soared when he plunged more deeply inside her.

Moist and ready for him, she joined his frenzy, aiding his efforts. Her eyes fluttered open as the moment approached, and she knew his tight expression reflected her own. She joined his soft cry of spontaneous joy when they reached mutual completion in a burst of light.

She did not speak when they lay breathless in the aftermath of their joining. The moment was too intimately beautiful for words—too ardently true to express.

She maintained her silence when Matt lifted her gently into his arms, carried her to the bed, and lay down beside her. She turned toward him, and their lovemaking resumed. She mumbled incoherently,
enjoying each moment of Matt’s painstaking care to bring her to climax again and again while delaying his own satisfaction.

She writhed at the pleasure of his touch, the sensation of his hands against her body sending her into a world of ecstasy she had never known—a rapture that was meant to be.

The loving continued.

Hours later Matt slept exhausted beside her, but Samantha’s sleep was sporadic. Matt drew her closer even in his slumber, and her throat closed as his arms wrapped around her. Reality had returned, and she was stunned by what she’d felt when she saw Matt waiting for her outside the Trail’s End.

Damn it all, he had misled her from the beginning! He had kept secrets from her and had betrayed his betrothal to a woman she respected more than she dared admit.

Tumultuous emotions…frenetic, ceaseless desire…the thought that time stood still when she was with him despite everything that stood between them, what did it mean?

The truth suddenly clear, Samantha swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She slid down to rest her head in the crook of Matt’s neck. She breathed deeply of his maleness and indulged in the total masculinity and beauty of him that had enthralled and left her powerless throughout the night.

S
he loved him.

Yet through all his passion, Matt had never said he loved her.

Samantha closed her eyes. She determinedly ignored the tears that slid out from underneath her closed eyelids at that admission. Aware that she was helpless against her love, uncertain where it would lead, she again attempted sleep.

Sean rested in his temporary camp. He was no stranger to having twinkling stars in the night sky the only ceiling over his head, or to feeling the hard ground underneath his bedroll. Nor was he unaccustomed to the relentless searching he had halted when daylight waned.