Renegade (14 page)

Uncertain what he meant by that, Samantha blinked again. Toby did not allow her to inquire when he tipped his hat abruptly and said, “I didn’t get much sleep last night. The older I get, the more
sleep I need, so I’m going back to my room for a while. I’ll see you later, Samantha.”

Toby walked unsteadily toward the door. Samantha watched him briefly before heading for the bar where admirers were waiting.

Helen and Jim exchanged glances from their position as concerned observers. Their suspicion that something was wrong was a reality. Anxious to help, but uncertain what to do, they waited.

Matt had nudged his mount to a faster pace after talking to Jenny. His confession made, he had then been faced with Jenny’s unexpected confession, and rage had overwhelmed him. Making love to Samantha had been his choice, but his brother had used Jenny’s confusion at their identical appearances to deceive her. He could not allow his brother’s actions to go unpunished.

Drawing his gun as a precaution when the dilapidated cabin that Tucker used came into view, he dismounted and crept up on it slowly. He peered through the window in an attempt to see inside. Aware that the effort was useless, he then burst through the doorway with gun still drawn.

The cabin was empty.

He cursed aloud, wondering where Tucker could be. He doubted that Tucker would go to town since his brother did not want to compromise his anonymity by possibly appearing in town at the same
time Matt did. He knew only one thing. Tucker would have to come back sooner or later.

He waited—again.

Matt became increasingly tense as the sky darkened. It was obvious that Tucker would not return that night. Refusing to think where his brother had gone, Matt walked out the doorway and strode to the copse where he had hidden his horse earlier. He made his way slowly in the darkness, hopeful that his mount was surefooted.

Dismounting at his ranch at last, Matt settled his mount in the barn for the night, and then started toward the house. He paused, the hair on his neck rising when he saw a lamp lit in the ranch house interior. Suddenly furious, drawing his gun without thinking, Matt burst through the doorway and came to a sudden halt at the sight of Tucker sitting comfortably on his worn settee.

Tucker was the first to speak. “You don’t need that gun, brother.”

Matt raised a brow, replying tightly, “I’m not taking any chances.”

“I wouldn’t shoot you, anyway. We’re brothers, after all.”

Matt sneered at the statement. “You’re my brother only when it suits you.”

Tucker stood, suddenly frowning. “You talked to Jenny, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“She told you everything.”

His finger trembling on the trigger of his gun, Matt burst out, “You’re a bastard, Tucker!”

Tucker repeated, “You don’t need that gun, I said. In case you’re wondering why, it’s because I intend to go to the sheriff to turn myself in. I just figured you deserved to know first.”

“I don’t believe you.” Surprised by Tucker’s disclosure and uncertain if he was telling the truth, Matt was also aware that Tucker wasn’t armed. He finally holstered his gun and said, “You’ve never been anything but bitter from the day I first met you. You admitted yourself that you intended to take advantage of the fact that we’re twins until I finally gave in and told the law about you. You expected me to prove that I wasn’t any better than you are, and you won. Yet now that everything has turned out in your favor, you’re going to the sheriff to turn yourself in? That doesn’t make sense.”

“You believe part of what I said or you wouldn’t have holstered your gun.”

Matt asked bluntly, “Why are you here?”

“I told you.”

“You’ve lied before.”

“You went to my cabin after you spoke to Jenny, didn’t you? And all the time I was here. What a waste of time.”

“I went to
my
cabin on an abandoned part of
my
property, you mean.”

“That’s right, our father made sure of that. It bothered me at first that my father hadn’t thought about
me since the day my mother walked out the door. But Jenny’s honesty, the unabashed truth she faced so squarely, forced me to do the same for the first time in my life. When I did, I acknowledged that even if our mother did rob me of a chance for more in life, it really is not your fault. You earned the ranch by working beside our father. I didn’t.”

Matt’s gaze narrowed. “Why the sudden change?”

“I told you. Jenny.”

Matt’s face flushed. “You aren’t worthy to speak her name. You knew we were betrothed, and you used it against her.”

“You seemed to forget you and she were betrothed when you slept with your saloon woman.”

Matt drew back. “I already told you that you were right. I’m no better than you are where that’s concerned.”

“You’re the one who really betrayed Jenny.”

“And you took advantage of her in a way I never did!”

“I didn’t want to, not after I met her, but when she gave herself to me that last time—”

Not allowing Tucker to finish his statement, Matt took two quick steps toward him and swung his fist with all his might. Tucker fell to the floor with blood dripping from the corner of his mouth. Matt looked down at him and urged heatedly, “Get up! Get up, damn it! You made Jenny feel cheap…made her hide the truth from her father for the first time in her life.”

“You’re a fine one to talk, considering how much time you spent in Samantha Rigg’s bed.” Tucker stood. “You’re right. Jenny didn’t deserve anything
we
did.”

“I want to know one thing,” Matt said as he faced his double directly. “Do you hate me so much that you’d try to compromise the only true feelings I ever had for a woman?”

“You mean Samantha Rigg, of course, because I know you don’t love Jenny.”

Matt flushed as he said, “I do love Jenny. I’ll always love her, and Samantha isn’t what you think she is. She came here to find the evidence on you…me…either one, or both of us for Pinkerton. She was willing to do anything she had to do in order to get the job done.”

“So why did she run me off when she thought I was you? I gave her a second chance, but she didn’t take it.”

“That’s why you went to Jenny, isn’t it?”

Tucker raised his chin. “She didn’t run me off.”

Not quite believing the mirror image of himself staring back at him, Matt responded, “So you really came here to gloat.”

“I came here to say that you’re right, brother. I am the bastard that the good-for-nothing, bitter woman who raised me primed into action. Our mother did her best to pass those qualities on to me, while you had the advantage of a hardworking father who took the time to teach you right from wrong. I left home
as soon as I was able, but I couldn’t help feeling responsible for our mother. I returned often enough to help support her when time didn’t treat her well.”

“She was a drunk.”

“She was a drunk who had every vice in the world.”

Matt shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“But I’m good at excuses. Hell, I’ve been making excuses for myself most of my life. The truth really is that I could’ve traveled the straight and narrow after I left our ma behind me, but I was too smart for that.”

“I’m sorry about that, too.”

“Don’t be sorry, Matt. Just be glad it wasn’t you she decided to take with her.”

Matt was startled to hear himself say, “You’re still in the clear. You can get away if you want. Samantha hasn’t said anything to anybody about my having a twin yet. Nobody knows…except Jenny, of course. She won’t say anything.”

Tucker frowned. “That’s not what I wanted to hear you say.”

“What did you expect me to say?” Matt asked flatly. “That I’m glad you’re turning yourself in? I’m not.”

Tucker mimicked him by repeating, “Why the sudden change?”

“I don’t really know.” Matt shrugged. “Maybe because you’re my brother and you got a raw deal.”

Tucker did not reply.

Matt surprised himself by adding, “Don’t do anything yet. Let me talk to Samantha…to Jenny. Let me see what they have to say.”

“Why?”

“Like I said, because you’re my brother and you got a raw deal.”

“It’s too late to straighten things out for me.”

“There has to be something I can do.”

“It’s too late.”

“Give me a chance, Tucker. You never have before. I think it’s time you did.”

Tucker stared at Matt. Eyes so identical to his returned his stare when Matt added, “Hell, you’re my brother.”

Samantha awoke in her lonely bed as the sun climbed the morning sky. The night past at the Trail’s End had been long and tedious despite the lively cowpokes surrounding her. The need to maintain her masquerade until something was settled chafed sorely. Her gaze had strayed toward the door so constantly that Bart, an old standby who hadn’t yet given up a fading hope, had asked her in a slurred voice who she was expecting.

She had realized then that she was being too obvious. She told herself that no man wanted a woman when she became too obvious—the way she was with Matt. No man wanted a woman who was too needy—which was the way she felt about him at present. No man wanted a woman who was willing to chuck her life’s dream for him—no man, unless he loved her.

If that was what she really wanted.

Samantha had flashed Bart one of her most dazzling
smiles at that point and had dipped her bosom toward him teasingly. He had been too inebriated to see that her actions were a shield for more intense emotions.

Sean had arrived unexpectedly at the saloon as the night progressed. She was amused when the fellows at the bar did not attempt to challenge his familiarity with her. Nor did they object when he drew her to a vacant table in the corner where he pretended to drink while enjoying her company. There was something about him that made everyone respect the look in his eye, and she was glad. She had needed that respite.

She knew the truth about Sean’s appearance there, however. He had come to make sure she wasn’t taking the case too far and extending herself too freely to the cowboys who openly hoped for more. She knew he had spent the day engaging the conversations of anyone who would talk about her and about Matt, that he had heard all the rumors circulating about them…and Jenny, and that he needed more insight into the case.

It occurred to Samantha that although they made a good pretense at being more than friends, there was a comfort between her and Sean that made conversation almost incidental. Yet she had been unable to avoid the feeling that there wasn’t a moment when Sean wasn’t actively trying to figure out from her responses what she
hadn’t
told him.

He had left eventually, taking the bottle he had
paid for with him and promising to return. She had known he had taken the bottle to disguise the fact that although they had spent considerable time together, it was almost full. She had gone back to the bar sincerely grateful to be away from his subtle questions.

Toby had come by later, but only briefly. He had joined her amidst her retinue and had drunk and laughed. Yet she had the feeling that he, also, was waiting.

Well, so was she.

She hadn’t been able to get out of the Trail’s End soon enough.

As Lola, Maggie, Helen, and she had walked toward the hotel after the Trail’s End closed for the evening, Samantha searched the shadows, hoping.

But Matt had not come, and she said a lonely good night to the girls when they reached her door.

In her present solitude as the shadows of early morning played against the worn furniture of the room, Samantha avoided recollection of the loving past. Instead, she forced herself to explore the situation facing her.

She loved Matt, but he had never claimed to feel the same way about her. She knew that he adored the excitement between them and he was enamored of the sight of her, the taste of her, the need for more that was always present between them—but she was uncertain if the emotion he felt for her constituted the same love she felt for him. She wondered if he
thought of her constantly throughout the day; if he had begun fantasizing that everything about her would be his alone; if he was concerned for her future in a world of uncertainty; if he had started imagining the day when they would awaken each morning knowing that they would be lying side by side with a sense of completion they could only get together. She wondered, finally, if he had begun thinking of a future with her.

She then wondered what she would do if he did—and if he didn’t.

Her continued confusion was deadening.

“One step at a time, Samantha—and remember, what’s done is done.”

Her father’s advice returned to mind—as appropriate to her present situation as the day he first offered it. Samantha realized that no amount of berating herself would make a difference.

Tears momentarily filled her throat. Her father had always been good at clearing a path for her.

With a deep breath, Samantha threw back the coverlet and moved the few steps to the washstand, where a fresh basin awaited her. She remembered more of his sage counsel.

“If you’re uncertain, go straight to the horse’s mouth.”

Wearing riding attire a short time later, Samantha walked into Toby’s livery. He looked surprised to see her.

“Do you want me to saddle your horse up for you again, Samantha?”

“I do.”

He waited for her to tell him where she was going. Finally taking pity on the old man, she offered, “I’m going for a ride.”

He waited.

“I have some things to settle.”

He waited longer.

“I haven’t decided where I’m going yet, but I expect to come back in time to be at the Trail’s End tonight.”

Finally responding with a half smile, Toby said, “I don’t pretend to know it all, so you don’t have to tell me where you’re going, Samantha. I just want you to be safe.”

Samantha replied soberly, “Don’t worry, Toby. I’m armed in more ways than one.”

Patting the small derringer she wore on her belt, Samantha rode out remembering Toby’s final words:

“Take care. This is serious business that you’re involved in.”

The sun had risen to the midpoint in the sky when Samantha reached the ranch house she sought. No sound came from the barn, and there were no horses in the corral. There was no activity in the yard and no signs of life other than the smoke that trailed from the chimney. The steady column rising there indicated that someone was home to feed the fire, however, and Samantha approached with uncertainty gnawing at her insides.

Samantha dismounted and tied her horse to the hitching post just as the door of the house opened. She looked up, took a determined breath, and spoke.

“We met once before, but the outcome wasn’t too pleasant. I hope we can speak more dispassionately this time.”

Samantha regarded the thin, plain young woman who stood framed in the doorway. Jenny responded with unexpected candor, “Things have changed since the last time we talked. There are things we need to straighten out. Come in, please.”

Samantha raised her chin as she walked into the house. She heard the door click closed behind her as she observed the main room. A kitchen of sorts with open shelving and a metal stove filled one corner. A rough table and chairs that were apparently homemade filled another. A settee, two chairs, and a worn, native-design rug defined the area where occupants obviously relaxed at the end of the day in front of a soot-blackened fireplace. The bedrooms were behind closed doors, but the house was otherwise silent. No one else was home.

Samantha turned toward Jenny. “Your house is homey and warm and obviously reflects your personality.”

Jenny did not reply.

Samantha heard herself explain more generously than she had originally intended, “In case you’re wondering, that was a compliment.”

Jenny stood still, silently confirming all that Samantha had first assessed. Her brown hair in a bun, her features unremarkable, her figure thin almost to the point of emaciation, Jenny was not the epitome of any man’s desire. Samantha knew, however, that
she
was. Yet it was Jenny whom Matt had asked to be his wife.

That thought stung, causing Samantha to begin with a tinge of harshness. “Has Matt explained anything to you?”

“If you mean that you and he have been together? Yes, he has.”

“Refusing to accept the ambiguity of Jenny’s words, Samantha asked frankly, “Together? By that do you mean—?”

“I mean fornicating.”

Samantha frowned at Jenny’s choice of words. Somehow knowing the answer to her next question, she asked flatly, “And you forgave him?”

“Yes, I did.”

Disappointment surged, but Samantha swallowed it with determination and asked, “How do you expect to proceed from here?”

“The way you would proceed, I imagine.”

“The way I would proceed?” Emotion mounted as Samantha replied, “I would’ve been shocked and then infuriated if Matt told me he had betrayed me.”

“I wasn’t.”

“You weren’t shocked or you weren’t infuriated?”

“Neither.”

“Why? Because you had heard rumors about Matt and me?”

“I knew the reason Matt had strayed from the moment I first saw you on the street. You’re beautiful and feminine even now, without the makeup and clothing of a saloon girl to gild your appearance. I know I’m plain. I knew immediately that I couldn’t compare with you.”

“You compare in other ways, though.”

“I told myself that I did when I first approached you. I told myself that same thing afterward when Matt came to me and said all the things I wanted to hear. He said all the rumors were true, but he said he regretted straying and asked me to forgive him. I told myself that I believed him and that whatever had happened, he had come to realize how much he loved me. When I saw him again, my love for him was stronger than it had ever been. I told him so.”

Barely maintaining her feet, Samantha responded, “That’s why you forgave Matt for everything.”

Jenny blinked.

Forcing herself to continue, Samantha raised her chin and asked, “What about your betrothal?”

“It still stands.”

The defeat of those three words hit Samantha
hard. She finally responded, “That’s what I came here to find out.”

Jenny frowned. “Matt didn’t explain any of this to you?”

“It’s of no consequence.” Samantha forced a smile. “I appreciate your honesty.”

Turning, Samantha walked out through the doorway and mounted. She rode away before Jenny could formulate a reply.

Samantha was out of sight of Jenny’s ranch house when the first tears began to fall. They fell faster as she rode, wetting her cheeks and clouding her vision until she was forced to draw off the trail and halt before continuing on.

Taking deep breaths, Samantha dried her cheeks and attempted to stem the flow of tears. What was wrong with her? Hadn’t she truly expected as much? Wasn’t she grateful that Matt had decided on Jenny instead of her and had freed her from indecision?

The sound of hoofbeats turned Samantha abruptly toward the path as a mounted rider broke through the foliage. Drawing his horse up beside her, he asked, “Samantha! I heard someone, but I didn’t expect it to be you. I was on my way to talk to you. What are you doing here?”

It was Matt…or was it?

Samantha stared at him and asked bluntly, “Which one are you?”

She saw his expression harden. “I never thought I’d have to answer that question for you.”

“Tell me, damn it! Are you Matt or Tucker? Although I don’t really think there’s any difference between you.”

“You’re trying to make me angry.”

“I’m trying to be truthful! You’re both deceitful. You both did your best to get me into your bed, yet only one of you succeeded. Which one are you?”

“Unless I’m wrong, you wanted me as much as I wanted you.”

Samantha’s resistance faded. She knew which brother he was. Actually, she had known the moment she saw him.

She said with surprising control, “I spoke to Jenny.”

Matt’s expression darkened.

“I wasn’t willing to wait any longer. She gave me the answer I was seeking.”

“Did she? I doubt it.” Matt’s full lips tightened into a straight line. “Jenny doesn’t know you and she’s not the type to spill her emotions out for anyone to trample.”

“I didn’t want to trample them. I just wanted to know where I stood.”

“And you couldn’t wait for me to tell you.”

“No.”

Surprising her, Matt offered with unexpected softness, “I’m sorry, Samantha. I would have come right back, but there was something I needed to do
first. I wanted to tell you myself and not hurt Jenny any further.”

His concern for Jenny struck a match to her emotions, and Samantha felt control slip away. “You didn’t want to hurt
her
any further?”

Aware that her voice had become shrill, Samantha took a deep breath. She attempted more impassively, “I expected you to come back last night. I waited. Then I hoped, but even hope grew dim when you didn’t show up as the night wore on. People were laughing, joking, and smiling all around me. I was, too, on the outside, but inside I grew more and more tense. I didn’t expect you to tell me that your betrothal to Jenny still stands.”

“Is that all she told you?”

Samantha was unable to reply.

Stepping down from his mount in a fluid movement, Matt pulled Samantha from her saddle and cradled her in his arms. She struggled against his embrace, but he held her close against him. His superior strength finally overwhelming her, Samantha stopped resisting to hear him whisper, “I’m so sorry, Samantha. There’s only one thing I’m sure of at this moment.” His light-eyed gaze held hers. “I love you. I guess I always will.”

Samantha went still in Matt’s arms.

“Jenny didn’t tell you everything. She couldn’t, I suppose, because she could barely tell me.”

“She said she forgave you, and that your betrothal still holds true.”

“Jenny forgave me because she believed she had done the same thing. Tucker—”

Aghast, Samantha whispered, “He didn’t impersonate you with her, too?”

Matt’s light eyes filled with pain. “Tucker confessed who he was after Jenny and he had lain together.”

Samantha closed her eyes. Tears squeezed out from underneath her closed lids at the humiliation Jenny had suffered.

“I was angry when I learned the trick Tucker had played on Jenny and what had happened between them, even if he had said he was sorry.”

“Too late,” Samantha mumbled. “It was too late then.”

“I told Jenny it wasn’t her fault, but she wouldn’t hear me. She said you had seen through Tucker when he tried the same thing with you, and you had run him off. She said the truth was that she allowed Tucker to deceive her because he said everything she wanted to hear.”