Renegade (13 page)

“Oh, okay.”

He looks disappointed, so I say, “Your blood is also in the computer, which means you won’t be targeted by the cams or turrets. You’ll essentially have free rein of the facility once they let you out of here.”

He chuckles, but the sound is off, as if he’s laughing more at himself than me. “So, that’s what your plan was. Not coupling, but to get me into the computer.”

“Yes. But…” And now on to the news I’ve been dreading sharing. I’m not sure how he’s going to take it. I stare at the symbols I’ve written on the floor, trying not to see him out of my peripheral vision. “It appears we’ll have to go through with it anyway.”

He pauses. “What do you mean?”

“Mother has stipulated we couple tonight. She doesn’t want me changing my mind again. I have a feeling it’s to test how serious I am about this.” I finally look up, unable to stop myself. “And you.”

He looks into space for a while. Then he clears his throat and shrugs. “I suppose considering all you’ve sacrificed for me, I can make one of my own.” He turns to me and winks, his eyes flashing with amusement.

Relief blows through me and I relax for the first time since I sat down. “Yes, it must be terrible for you.”

He smirks, but then his face sobers and he reaches out to brush a strand of hair from my face, letting his hand linger along my cheek before he jerks his arm back.

I can only assume he remembered he can’t touch me.

Grateful the Guards can’t see my face, I blush. The burn of it travels from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair. We stare at each other and it feels like there’s a magnet in his eyes, drawing me ever closer. Even if I wanted to, I can’t tear my gaze from his. My fingers itch to touch his again. Just a light brush of skin against skin. I crave the rush it gives me. The mix of emotions it stirs in me. The instant of pure panic, quickly covered by wonder and joy. I wonder if he feels the same when he touches me, if that’s why he’s constantly reaching out. My mouth is suddenly dry, and even though I want to speak, I can’t.

Instead, we both look away from each other.

“So—” we say together.

“Go ahead,” I say.

He shakes his head and gestures for me to continue. “No. Please. You first.”

For some reason, though I’ve been planning this event for years, I’m nervous. I shouldn’t be. I’ve been taught everything I need to know to please him … but he’s a Surface Dweller. Things are different up there.

I glance over and he’s staring again. It makes my skin warm and my blood hum. There’s just something about him that makes me realize it doesn’t matter. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t be wrong.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks. “I mean, this is a big step. Kids and everything.”

“It’s the only way to save you,” I say, “but we don’t have to have a child. I can secure … things that will prevent a pregnancy.”

He blinks. “You can? But why do you? I mean, what’s the point? I thought only people who are approved to have kids have kids, so why do you have stuff to prevent pregnancy?”

“Breeding can only be authorized by Mother, and only for Coupled Citizens,” I explain. “But the physical act strengthens pair-bonding, which in turn strengthens society. We simply ensure no unauthorized breeding with contraception.”

He glances at the camera and then leans in close. His breath tickles my neck. “But … won’t they be watching?”

“No. Not in my private quarters.” At least I don’t think so. I’ve never had a reason to check.

“Then why are we doing it at all? We could just fake it.”

I jerk back as if he’s slapped me. “You don’t want to?” I keep my voice steady, trying not to betray the hurt that comes over me at the thought.

“No, that’s not it. It’s just…” He breaks off and seems to be intently studying the drawings I made in the dirt. “Never mind.”

I sigh. Of course he doesn’t really want to couple with me. He said earlier that I’m just a kid. “We have to because they will check.”

His eyes slice to mine, filled with confusion. “Check? How do they do that?”

I simply stare at him and he blushes again. “Never mind,” he mutters.

As neither of us has a choice, I might as well relieve some of his fear. “Don’t worry,” I say. “I am well versed in this. I won’t disappoint you.”

Now he seems even more confused. His whole face is scrunched up. “Well versed? You mean they teach you how to…?”

“Of course. Pleasure ensures coupling, and coupling ensures the continuation of our people. We learn everything we need to know,” I reassure him.

“Great,” he mutters. “That’s more than
I
needed to know.”

His tone is wrong. I can’t decipher it.

“What’s wrong?” I ask. “You won’t have to worry about showing me what to do. Isn’t that good?”

“No,” he says bluntly, almost angry.

“Why not?”

“Because now I have to worry
I
won’t know what to do.”

I furrow my brow. Oh. “Do you want me to teach you?” I ask quietly.

He jumps up and away from me, his whole expression horrified. “No. No.
God
no.”

I clasp my hands together in my lap and stare at them. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Oh, geez.” He sits back down, but doesn’t move to touch me. “You didn’t. I’m just nervous. Just … let me. Okay?”

“If that’s what pleases you.”

He closes his eyes and leans back against the wall. “Close enough.”

Before I can say anything else, the young Guard opens the door. I twist my body to see him. “Mother wonders if you’ve explained tonight’s plans to the Surface Dweller.” He refuses to meet my eyes, but there’s a hardness about him that wasn’t there before.

It worries me, but I pretend nothing is wrong. I stand. “I have.”

“Then she says you are to prepare for tonight. I am to escort you back.”

“Very well.” Stifling a sigh, I turn to Gavin, who is watching the Guard with narrowed eyes. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s jealous. “I will see you in a few hours.”

Then I turn and follow the Guard out the door and to my rooms.

*   *   *

Mother is waiting for me. She’s had the Maids clean my room and apply clean sheets to my bed. The scent of lavender from the sheets and bleach from the chemicals they used to wipe down my bathroom swirls in the air. The clothes I am to wear are already laid out for me. I had planned on stopping by the lab again to speak with Macie, but I don’t think Mother has any intention of letting me out of her sight.

And she doesn’t. The whole time the Maids are pulling and primping my hair, applying tinted liquids, creams, and powders to my face, then buffing and filing my nails, Mother stands by, watching me closely, while I look out my window into the ocean, trying to calm myself with counting the fish in the school that’s right outside.

She helps me into the outfit I will wear for the coupling. It looks more like an under-thing than an actual dress as it’s not exactly appropriate for a dinner engagement, but it is perfect for a seduction. It’s all black. And just what he’ll expect, Mother assures me.

I stare at myself in the mirror. A hurricane of emotions storms through me, and it’s difficult to differentiate one from the rest. But I think embarrassment is the strongest.

Mother ties the laces of the strange outfit so tightly it hurts to breathe, but it gives me the appearance of actually having hips. Despite the fact that I am technically a Breeder, my body is built more like an Enforcer. All muscle, no curves. The skirt stops high on my thighs. I’m sure one wrong move will reveal absolutely everything.

It surprises me that I’m nervous to be wearing something so revealing. With the makeup and tousled hair, I look magnificent. Sexy. The dark temptress. Just what Mother says will appeal to a Surface Dweller. But just the same I can’t help but think how glad I am that no one but him will see it.

Just as we finish, there’s a knock on my door.

“What? I said no interruptions,” Mother calls out.

A Maid cautiously pokes her head into the room. “Ma’am. There’s trouble in Three.”

A little thrill goes through me at the mention of Three, but I don’t know why and I don’t let Mother see it.

Mother scowls as she turns back to me to adjust something on my outfit. “Have Veronica handle it. That’s her job.”

This time it’s a shudder that goes through me. I hate Enforcers and Veronica especially gives me the creeps. She watches me entirely too closely and most of the time I have a feeling she’s smirking at me behind my back.

The Maid nods and leaves, shutting the door behind her, but before she can say anything to me, there’s another knock on the door.

This time it’s Mother’s personal Maid who steps into the room and whispers something to Mother before walking back out the door without even glancing in my direction. Mother immediately stands and tells me I can have awhile to myself to prepare mentally for my coupling.

At first, I breathe a sigh of relief when I’m left to my own devices, but then my instincts start humming. Why did Mother leave me alone now? Especially when she was so concerned I’d change my mind. Surely she’d want to be here in case I started to get cold feet, so she could convince me otherwise, right?

Whatever made her leave has something to do with me. I know it. I just have to find her and figure out what it is.

I slip out the door and down the hallway, hoping to find Mother quickly and quietly. It doesn’t take long. I pause next to the library when I hear Mother’s voice say my name. I creep closer to the door to listen in on what she’s saying, being careful to step lightly so my heels don’t make a noise.

“Evelyn has chosen, and I made a deal. I’m sorry you were not chosen,” Mother says.

“I don’t think it was her choice, though, milady.” This from a man, a man that sounds remarkably like the young Guard.

“Why would you think that?”

“Why would she choose a Surface Dweller? He must be using her so he can escape.”

Although I am unable to see what Mother is doing, I’m sure she’s pursing her lips, considering what he’s saying carefully and deciding how to respond.

“Yes, I am aware of what he’s doing,” she says.

I press closer to the doorway. So Mother knows that this is all a ruse. Nothing less than I expected, but I wonder what she plans to do about it.

“While I do not presume to question you, I do not understand why you are letting them couple,” the Guard says.

“My reasons are not your concern. Rest assured, he has not fooled me. He will still die tonight.” I suck a breath in through my teeth, but otherwise do not make a noise. Every muscle in my body tenses.

“Yes, milady.” The Guard sounds pleased, and it surprises me how much I want to smash the smile off his face. There’s a red haze on either side of my vision, which, aside from that, has become extremely clear.

The sounds inside come to me as if I’m in the room. The incessant ticking of Mother’s favorite clock, the whispers of linen against leather, their breathing, even their heartbeats. Slow and calm from Mother. Irregular and quick from the Guard.

The scent of his cologne and Mother’s perfume makes my nose itch and burn, but I don’t dare move. I don’t want to miss a thing. Every bit of information I can collect now will be to my advantage later.

“Excellent,” Mother says. “For your service, I will keep my promise to you and you will have Evelyn.” It’s not an easy task to fight back the urge to burst into the room and declare I’m not property. That I’m not the wage to be paid for killing a Surface Dweller.
My
Surface Dweller.

“Thank you, milady,” he says, and from the sounds, I know he has taken Mother’s hand in his and kissed it, as is expected of him.

The chairs creak as they stand and I hurry as quickly and quietly as I can back to my room. Looks like I have yet another change of plans. The escape will have to take place tonight, whether I’m ready or not.

C
HAPTER
T
EN

Festival! The one time each year to let our hair down and celebrate what Mother has done for us. Because we know no one wants to miss all the fun and excitement, attendance is compulsory.

—
F
ESTIVAL FLYER

Tearing through my room, and ignoring the sudden headache that screams through my head, I grab absolutely anything I think might be useful and shove it into the evac pack Mother put together for me ages ago. Since she filled it herself, it has all sorts of things that will come in handy. It’s only to be used in emergencies, like a Surface Dweller invasion or a leak—something that means we have to escape quickly. I can’t think of any greater emergency than this.

I yank a dress over my outfit and shove a complete change of clothes in the bag. If we run into trouble, I won’t be much good in stiletto boots. I pull them off now so I can sneak out, and hitch the pack onto my back.

When I pass the library, Mother is still talking to the Guard. I block their voices from my head. I don’t have time to chance hearing something that will stop me from going through with my plan. The headache disappears as quickly as it appeared, but I don’t question it. I just keep moving. I hurry down the halls, sticking to the shadows, and rely on my instincts to get to the Detainment Center, hoping I won’t run into any Enforcers along the way.

When I reach the turrets that are just outside the entrance to the Detainment Center, I hide my backpack behind it in the alcove, then take a second to catch my breath and remove the dress, pull my boots back on, and adjust the lingerie Mother tied me into in an appropriately seductive way before sauntering into the room. The less time the Guards spend thinking with their brains the better. They exchange a look when they see the little black outfit I’m wearing.

“Miss Evelyn,” one says, and tries to avert his eyes. If nothing else, I have to give him credit for that. “We weren’t expecting you.”