Renegade (10 page)

“Yes, they are.” The Guard turns and offers me a smile. “Mother was kind enough to walk with me through them while you were getting ready.”

“He will need to know them intimately if he wishes to protect you,” Mother says.

I smile at him, ignoring her. “Oh. Are you one of my new Guards?”

Mother’s smile seems frozen to her face. “No. That is what we were just discussing. He is one of your Suitors.”

“Oh, I beg your pardon, sir,” I say, shooting a glance toward Father. He only gives a slight shake of his head. “I was unaware.” I turn back to smile at the young Guard, who blushes and smiles back.

Interesting. I don’t remember him as my Suitor, but then again, they come and go so often it’s hard to keep them straight in my head. Whenever Mother determines they are unsuitable, they stop coming.

I take the rest of dinner to study this new Guard. He’s similar in build to Gavin, but with lighter hair and, of course, blue eyes. He’s polite and makes an effort to include me in the conversation. He seems sweet.

After dinner, he bids Mother and Father farewell, then takes my hand and kisses the back of it. I stifle a gasp, shooting a quick look toward Mother, but she only smiles.

“Good night, Miss Evelyn. I look forward to our coupling,” he says.

I gape after him, twisting the strap of my handbag in my fingers. Coupling? The
Guard
is the one chosen to couple with me? “Mother?”

She pats my shoulder. “You seemed to have trouble choosing. I was only trying to make it easier for you.”

At this new betrayal, Gavin’s advice to act normal flies out of my head. “I know, but … a
Guard
? Guards aren’t exactly known for their brains. I don’t want unintelligent children,” I say carefully, remembering myself at the last second.

“This one is different. He shows … potential. You’re three months past your sixteenth birthday. You need to choose.”

“But I have plenty of time to find a more acceptable match.” My heartbeat booms in my ears and I find it hard to swallow past the lump forming in my throat. It’s supposed to be my choice who I couple with. Why is she doing this?

“Most girls your age have already found the man they want to couple with. They are already doing their duty and producing quality children. As Daughter of the People you have an even greater responsibility. You must set an example. You must do
your
duty.” She presses her fingers to her temples and sighs. “It’s my fault. I’ve spoiled you. Because of your condition, I’ve indulged you with your gardens. Your violin. Even your disturbing curiosity about the Surface. You’ve forgotten your duty and I need to correct that.”

No. Please no. Don’t do this.

“I’ve not forgotten,” I say.

She goes on as if she hasn’t even heard me. “It’s my responsibility as Governess to ensure my daughter couples appropriately. I won’t live forever, Evelyn, and neither will you. I need to make sure there is an acceptable heir.”

“But, Mother—”

Her face hardens. “I will hear no more excuses on this matter. You’ve rejected every Suitor I’ve handpicked for you. Either choose a Suitor yourself or end up with the Guard, but you
will
do your duty for our people.” She turns on her heel and walks out the door.

I turn toward Father, who has stood up from the table but is otherwise exactly where he was. “Father?” I ask.

He closes his eyes and sighs. When he opens them again, he won’t meet my eyes and instead stares at the pendant. “I’ve done all I can to help you. It’s worth more than my life if I help you anymore.” He looks into my eyes for a moment, before he, too, walks out the door.

I stare after him. It isn’t that I don’t want to couple. I do. I’ve felt the pull as much as anyone. It’s that I don’t want to couple with the Guard. Or the other Suitors I can’t even really remember. I want to find someone I’ll be happy with. Someone I can talk to easily. Someone funny. Someone who makes me feel something.

Someone like Gavin, I have to admit as I turn and walk slowly to the stairs that lead to my gardens. Someone I can’t have. All because he’s not one of us.

C
HAPTER
S
EVEN

Controlled coupling will ensure that only the best are born in Elysium. Mother bestows this gift only on the most deserving, and it is an honor and a privilege to fulfill those duties.

—
B
REEDER’S
H
ANDBOOK

I wake with my face pressed against the cool glass of my garden walls. The sunlamps and exterior lights are on again, so I know it’s daytime. Dazed, I stand and find my way back to my rooms. After eating the small breakfast the Maids have brought, I dress for the day.

I stare at my face in the mirror. I don’t look altered, but I feel different. Completely different. How can one small revelation change everything? It’s not like I didn’t know I would have to couple with someone, and sooner rather than later. And it’s not like I had much choice about who my couplemate would be. What frightens me now is wondering how many sessions with Dr. Friar it will take before I can’t remember that I didn’t like the Guard. Before I forget I’m being Conditioned at all. Before I can’t remember that I ever met Gavin. Will there be a day when I look in the mirror and I can’t remember anything except my own breakfast that morning?

A Maid knocks on the door. “Miss Evelyn, your Mother is requesting your presence in her sitting room.”

Of course she is. “I will be along.” Gavin’s warning circulates in my mind. Don’t let on that things are different.

I plaster on a smile and make sure it looks normal in the mirror before grabbing my handbag with the food in it and heading toward Mother.

She sits on her needlepoint-covered chair while a Beautician hovers over her, adjusting her hair and makeup. The way Mother watches the woman through her mirror reminds me of Cassiopeia, the mythological queen of Ethiopia who angered Poseidon by proclaiming she was more beautiful than his daughters.

She flutters her hand when she sees me and the Beautician leaves, but Mother continues to stare into her handheld mirror.

I go to stand next to her, my head bowed just a little and my hands clasped in front of me.

“How are you this morning?” she asks.

The answer is easy. I just have to let the programmed answer flow from my lips.
“My life is just about perfect.”

She glances over with a smile. “Very good. Were you able to get any information from the Surface Dweller yesterday?”

This answer is harder, but I say, “Not much to be helpful.”

She purses her lips, then says, “You must try harder, Evelyn. We cannot afford to take our time.”

“Yes, Mother.”

Satisfied, she turns back to her mirror and touches a hand to her cheekbone. “Excellent. Now we can get on to more important matters. Tell me, what say you about the young Guard? Is he not the perfect match?”

I speak carefully, making sure my speech is impeccable. A wrong step could be fatal. “I do not know my feelings on this matter yet. I have much to learn about him.”

She makes a
pssh
sound. “What is there to learn? He has good genetics. He is strong. And very striking, yes?”

“Yes, Mother. He’s very handsome, but I know nothing of his personality.” Not to mention I don’t really want to couple with him. I don’t want to couple with anyone, really. Well … not anyone from Elysium.

She waves this off as she turns back to me. “Nonsense. His personality is of no consequence in the bedroom, Evelyn.” She brushes a strand of hair from my face. “I think you’ll be very happy with him. He’s different from the others and, genetically speaking, a perfect match. Won’t you give him a chance?”

“Yes, Mother,” I say, looking over her shoulder. Do I have any choice?

She pats my cheek. “Excellent. I knew you’d come around.” She glances up when the door opens behind me. “Ah. Just in time.”

I glance behind me and fake another smile when I see the young Guard. He blushes and smiles back.

Mother makes a shooing gesture. “Go. Spend time with your young man.”

She certainly means the Guard, not Gavin, but I decide to take it the way I want. I bow my head and curtsey.

“Yes, Mother.”

I exit the room and the Guard follows. He walks beside me, but doesn’t say a word. While I know it isn’t his fault, I do not wish to speak to him. I haven’t decided what to do about him yet.

The Guard lets me in the cell, where Gavin paces like a tiger. Gavin looks up when the door opens and I gesture to the floor. We both sit, my body hiding the empty spot between us from the Guards before I push my bag toward Gavin.

“It’s food. I saved it from yesterday’s dinner. I made sure to grab stuff that wouldn’t spoil so it should still be safe to eat.”

He doesn’t even bother looking at it. He has eyes only for me, and they’re filled with worry. “Is everything okay? You seem … off.”

Again, it’s easier to let the programmed response flow.
“My life is just about perfect.”

He tilts his head and studies me carefully. “You gave me food, which means you don’t hate me, which means they didn’t give you anything … so this isn’t your Conditioning. What’s going on?”

Telling him won’t change anything, so I ignore the question. “I am fine. You should eat while I’m here, so the Guards don’t notice.”

He sighs, but digs into the bag and takes a bite. “Oh my God. This is disgusting. What is this? Seaweed?”

Since he’s shoveling more food into his mouth, I have to laugh. It must not be too bad. I stop laughing when it makes me question how long it’s been since he’s eaten. The state he was in when we caught him …

“How did you get all those injuries when I first saw you? It wasn’t from the Guards,” I ask.

He swallows. “A storm blew through while we were hunting. It was bad, so we ran to the closest place we could find. The rain was really thick, and I tripped. I took a header down a cliff, landing on a ledge halfway down. My partner followed me, but it was so slippery from the rain that he slid most of the way down. He couldn’t climb back up with me, and he had to drag me to the cave. Inside we found a few things that belonged to our missing people. We decided to look for them farther in the cave, but then we got lost and I kept passing out. We wandered for days, I think, before we found this weird door. By that time, we were starving and I was feeling pretty shitty, so we opened the door and…” He looks down at his hands. “Well, you know the rest.”

I don’t know what a “header” is, but I get the general picture. It doesn’t bother me he hadn’t told me the complete truth in the beginning. He hadn’t trusted me. I can’t blame him.

We look at each other then, silent.

“One question, one answer?” he finally asks. It eases some of the tension in me to realize it’s a question—a request. Not a demand. He’s willing to answer my questions, even if I don’t answer any of his.

I shrug. “What do you want to know?”

“Why do you look so sad? What happened?”

I glance behind me at the young Guard, who is watching me. He smiles, then blushes and turns back to the other Guards when one gives him what appears to be a playful punch on the arm.

Keeping my gaze on the Guard, I say, “Mother has chosen the Suitor I am supposed to be Coupled with.”

The sound of Gavin’s chewing slows, then stops. “I thought that was your choice.”

“Apparently not. Time is running out.”

“Time? You’re barely sixteen. You have plenty of time.”

“I guess not.” A lump forms in my throat.

“What do you mean?”

I stare at the ground between us, now littered with crumbs and bits of leftover food. “Well, Mother is upset that I seem to have forgotten my duty. She’s right.”

“That’s ridiculous.” His fists clench and the cracker he is holding crumbles, spreading more crumbs onto the floor.

“I have an obligation to my people to make sure there is an appropriate heir.”

He narrows his eyes. “Right this minute?”

“No, but soon.”

“Why? No one is going anywhere.”

I study the ground. “I think your showing up has made Mother anxious about me. She needs to make sure my genetics continue.”

He doesn’t say anything. I look up through my eyelashes. He’s frowning. “So this is my fault?”

“Oh, Gavin, no.” I shrug. “It’s mine. Had I chosen a Suitor before now and become Coupled this would not even be an issue.”

“How can you just take this so easily? It’s like an arranged marriage or something.”

“Yes, it is. And it’s my duty.” I shrug again. “It’s fine.”

He meets my eyes. “If that were true, you wouldn’t be so upset.”

When I don’t say anything, he sighs. “Well, whoever it is, is going to be a lucky guy.”

I give him a half smile. “Thank you.” I gesture behind me. “If you really want to know, it’s the young Guard.”

Gavin shifts his gaze from my face to the Guard. If I wasn’t watching him so carefully, I might miss the way his eyes narrow at the Guard before he lowers his gaze back to me. “He’s not good enough,” he says. “See how his shoulders are hunched and his arms swing in front like that?” I raise my eyebrows and he continues with a mischievous smile. “He looks like a gorilla.”

I laugh and feel some of the tension from last night and this morning float away. We spend the rest of the day together talking about things that make us happy. His family. My gardens. Books. Life on the Surface—including the animals, specifically apes. He seems to be taking special care not to talk about the whole coupling debacle.

I don’t know what’s changed from yesterday, but I learn a lot from him without even having to ask. I wonder if it’s his way of showing me he trusts me, and hopes I’ll trust him in return. That what he’s said isn’t a lie.

He’s what’s considered an Outlander on the Surface, which are people that live in settlements in the Outlands—most of what is left of North America. There are cities, but they are small, and few and far between. They’re protected with gates and Guards, like my city. He and his family are not allowed anywhere near them.