Repair Me (17 page)

             
“I watched my Mom fall in love and each time she did, her heart broke further apart. You can repair a broken heart, but the scars will still be there. My goal is to repair your heart from the inside out... not just from the surface.” He stood still as he watched my face. “Avery, I love you.”

             
The words hit me so strong, so gentle, so hard, so soft. I wanted that love. I wanted Davien, I wanted this feeling, I had wanted it forever. Now it was here and it felt  unreal. I knew deep down I deserved better than Anthony. I knew he was full of materialistic hopes. With Davien in my life, those things meant nothing.

             
Davien placed his right hand over my left breast as he still stood quietly. I could feel the first stitch to my broken heart immediately. It wasn't psychical, but mentally and emotionally it was every thing I needed for my first step to recovery. Anthony meant nothing to me.  “Davien, don't hurt me. I can't take it.”

             
Sounds from words never left his mouth, but his lips spoke aloud “I won't, Avery, I promise.” And those same quiet lips reached for mine and he pulled me close, his arms wrapped around my waist until we became one. His voice came clear as he pulled my fingers tight around his neck. “I love you, I love you more than anything. I will never hurt you.”

             
I took a long, deep breath and took the power from his arms into my body. “I love you too, Davien.”

Chapter 8

              Over the next few weeks Davien showed our love unlike I had never felt before. Each day I felt a new piece placed into my torn puzzle.  We spent each weekend together and many evenings. Davien had practices with The Pits once a week, but we had become family, so many times I came with. The Pits were more than Davien's band members. They were brothers to me. They made me feel wanted. At many times I felt like I was a nuisance pulling Davien from them, but they reminded me on a regular basis that they adored me.

             
Sometimes the practices were on a Sunday afternoon at CJ's when no one else was around. For some reason I was Davien's entire audience when he sang through the practices. He worked his magic from his fans, directed totally to me. He sang with his eyes stuck on me and the glow to his blue eyes flowed between the two of us. Smiling with a wide grin between his words made my heart flutter with passion. The man that every girl drooled over from this exact same stage, was mine. I didn't have a crush on Davien like they did, I was in love with him!

             
One evening after one of his many practices it was a odd night where Scott was with Natalia and we were left in the house alone. Snuggling close together on the couch, Davien began rubbing my shoulders and his fingers tracing down my back. He laid on his side as I laid in front of him, I slowly turned with nervous knots through my body to ask the question I had dreading to ask. “Davien, may I ask you something?”

             
“Sure, what's up?” He answered with a casual voice. I sat still, searching for my words, Davien's eyes grew worried with my expressions. “Everything okay?”

             
“Yeah, I just wondered what happened to your daughter?”

             
He took long, deep breaths before attempting to answer. He looked at the ceiling, his face raced between small smiles as I assumed of memories and his eyes turned from bright blue to a dark navy, almost black. I wished at that moment that I hadn't brought the subject up. “I am so sorry, Davien, forget my question. When the time is right, you will tell me.”

             
“No I won't. I won't bring it up, never do. I will only tell people if I am asked. No one asks though.” Small tears filled his eyes. “Avery, the only way I can express my feeling, the only way I can catch my words is the songs. If I didn't sing to my daughter, I would have nothing.”

             
He was right. He struggled for words, but when he sang, it was completely clear... always! “How old was she?” I started my questions slowly and watched his expressions each time.

             
“Aubrey was born 4 weeks premature. She was actually born at a decent weight for being premature and was able to come home within the first month. We had her home for around 3 more weeks when we noticed a change in her breathing. Her appetite decreased and she was very limp. The doctor didn't seem too worried, thought she may have a cold, but told us to watch for any changes. At many times, she looked lethargic. Her skin was jaundice. We eventually took her to the hospital and they did many tests. When she was around 3 months we received the news that she had hemorrhaging in her brain. The doctor assumed it may have been due to her being premature even though she hadn't shown any previous signs.” Davien placed a kiss on my forehead and smiled. “Avery, she was so beautiful. Oh my God she looked just like her Mom.”

             
He stood from the couch and walked to the closet off the bathroom. Pulling a box out, he looked inside and pulled a large plastic container and held it out for me. “What's this?”

             
“Pictures of Aubrey.” He smiled as he sat next to me. I opened the container and he immediately began telling me about each one. The race in his voice felt like he had held the emotions in forever, like he was finally being released. He showed me each picture described each one to when it was taken. The day she was born, the day she was brought home, a small picture of the young Davien as he held her. She truly was beautiful, her features were so well defined. “Man I wish I could bring her back.”

             
“She is so beautiful, Davien.” Her eyes were nothing like Davien's bright blue ones, but they were an emerald jewel color. From the pictures, you would have never guessed that this child was sick. Even the last few pictures, not only did she look happy and well, but Davien's face was always full of smiles. The one picture that caught my heart was the one that Davien tried to snatch from my hand. I pulled back and his head dropped. “Is this her Mother?” There was a family portrait, a family that looked like it had not a single worry to them.

             
“Yes, that is Danielle.” He bit his lip as he fought his tears. “She was an amazing woman, still is. We were actually never a couple, but we stayed close as we cared for Aubrey. It's nothing more and never will be. But we get together at least once a year and have private time at the cemetery. Very regularly we will call each other just to talk about Aubrey”.

             
I had a hard time taking this in, but I understood. “She will always be part of you, both of them.” I saw the first tear drop from my bad boy Davien and I immediately placed my hand along his face and with my thumb, I wiped his first tear away. “Sometimes you just need to express your feelings. Singing is your best way.”

             
“
You were my everything, you were sent from heaven. But now you are gone. Your touch is still in my hand, the feeling will never fade.”
Davien began singing with strains in his voice. He fought for words, but I knew this was his medicine. “
The memories are there, but I only have dreams. Those beautiful eyes
,
the smile on your face, the laughter in your voice. But baby the memories that hold me tight is the moments alone. Holding you tight never letting you go. I’ve grown weak and I’ve become a selfish man. You left me but you’ll be in my heart forever. No one will ever replace you.”

             
I bent to him and kissed his lips as his last words came from his voice. “Thank you, Avery. I really needed that. I never get to talk about it. Danielle calls me on her bad days and I do the same. But our past is full of good memories that ended too soon.”

☼

             
“I'll be over at eight... be ready.” It was Friday afternoon and Natalia was making her normal 'Friday call'.  My whole life and my way of living had changed, changed for the better, and when Friday mornings rolled in, I woke to an empty bed, but I knew tonight would be fantastic. Any time I had a chance to watch those amazing blue eyes staring at me was a great time. “You so have to wear that new dress.”

             
Natalia and I had been shopping the previous weekend and I 'had' to have this dress. It had my name plastered all over it. It wasn't over exposing so Davien was thrilled with it. But it showed off my curves, making him drool. Bright red and black edging. The material reached my knees but on the right side there was a slit that came to my upper thigh. I paired the dress with bright red lipstick and hooker eye make-up as Natalia called it. Lucky little bitch never needed a drop of make-up but she still used it.

             
When she arrived,early of course, she ran to the door like we were heading to Disney World. “Girl C'mon, let's go watch these guys. Mmmm I haven't seen Scott since Wednesday... I am so ready.” Her eyes adjusted to me. “Holy crap girl you look gorgeous.” She spun me around in a circle and just like the normal Natalia, she pushed my breasts high up, tucking them in until you could see half of my cleavage. Her rule was there's never too much.

             
“Ouch, damn okay I think they can see enough. Anyways I'm not looking for a man.”

             
“I rock my body on a daily basis even though I have Scott. I don't do it for a search. I do it to make the other guys jealous of Scott. Anyways.. if you've got it, flaunt it.” She looked at me head to toe. “And you've got it.” She was hilarious. She never held anything back.

             
When we arrived at CJ's, the place was already filling up. My bad boy was already getting things together. He was standing at the bar. “Hey beautiful.” He yelled over the crowd. I sent a small wave in his direction and smiled. He looked delicious, mouth-watering just like always. But when I watched Davien at CJ's it was different. He seemed different maybe because I knew he was mine but ever other woman in the building wanted him so badly. He wore the same clothes that he wore at home, he styled his hair the exact same way (well maybe a slight more hair gel), his smile was wild both at home and at CJ's but there was something about seeing him at the bar that drove me insane. Maybe it was his smile, the flirtatious look that won his fans with. His voice was amazing, out of this world amazing, different than any famous musician I had heard, but his looks. His looks alone could steal any heart in the room.

             
I remembered the night I met him, as much as I fought myself for even desiring a man like that, I wanted to kill myself. He was everything I didn't want and surely nothing I needed. He was covered in every woman in the place and he was willing to take every woman home and sleep with each.  I had no desire to deal with a man that wasn't ready for a commitment and a man with girls dangling off his arms, surely wasn't that kind.

             
We sat at our table with Scott who instantly jumped from his seat when he saw Natalia. His eyes brightened each time he watched her. His lips locked onto her neck, pulling her off her feet. He pulled her close against his mouth, surely leaving a mark. Her hands roamed through his hair as she moaned from pleasure. “Missed you, baby.” Scott murmured between his lips.

             
“Missed you too.”

             
“You're coming over tonight?” She nodded her head and I knew she was excited for what she called 'Scott time'.

             
I spun around when I felt the tight grip around my ass cheek. “Ouch!”

             
“Mmm.. you look edible.” Davien passed drinks around the table. When I reached for mine he whispered into my ear. “I might have to find out how edible you are when we get home.”

             
Instantly blushing, “hmm maybe we should both see,” just the thought of stripping his clothes off after a long night on stage, caused me to pull my thighs together.

             
“You've gotta quit wearing this shit.” He pulled at my dress “You're at my work and you're making me wild.”

             
One of the normal waitresses, Terri, approached our table with a tray of shots. “Two for you, Avery, two for you, Natalia.” She smiled and walked away.

             
Squinting my eyes at the crazy man. “No, Davien, don't start that crap.” He winked at me and wrapped his arm around my waist. His smile was full of guilt and evilness. 

             
“The Pits will be on stage in the next few minutes, so grab your drink and let's get the show started.” The normal voice echoed through the bar. Every time I heard that voice, I noticed that everyone stopped their conversations and focused their eyes to the stage as they waited for The Pits to arrive at their places.

             
“Drink up baby. Watch the clock. Make sure they follow my orders. Supposed to be every 15 minutes.” He slapped my butt, causing me to grab at myself and yelp then the guys all ran to the stage.

             
“I'm gonna kill those guys.” Natalia screamed over the noise from fans “What a brat.” She looked at me with suspicious eyes.

             
“Get us drunk and take advantage of us, what else is new.” We both laughed at the past scenes of going home with the guys and being completely wasted.

☼

             
The guys were into their third song and Davien looked amazing with a slight glint of sweat on his forehead, his arms poured from his tight cream colored shirt that was pushed to his elbows. His hair was slicked back and spiked up, just the way that made my thighs pull tight together. He looked amazing, he
was
amazing. He was all mine.

             
The bar got quiet when Davien pulled the mic from its stand. “Justin is singing this next one one guys.” Everyone gave each other curious looks, but Davien's smile was wider than I had ever seen. Giving devilish looks through out the crowd his eyes landed on mine causing me to sit straighter in my chair. Just the way he worked his facial expression could change the way I felt inside.

             
“I didn't know that Justin could sing.” I said to Natalia.

             
She shrugged her shoulder. “Me either.”

             
“I've got a very special lady that I would love to have this dance with.” Every female pair of eyes searched the room for his next move, but I knew he was coming my way. He nodded his head to follow his direction as he placed his hand on the edge of the stage and jumped down. My face must have changed 10 shades from pale pink to fire engine red, matching my dress. Every person in the bar watched as I followed Davien to the floor. The audience pushed back enough to let the center man show off his skills with the woman he was truly in love with. Nerves on fire, I walked to Davien, my love, my everything and when we made contact, he slid his arm around my waist. “I love you, beautiful”. My heart was racing with a mixture of laughter and anxiety.