Rescue Me (16 page)

“I’m sorry you’re feeling this way,” she says compassionately. “You’re suffering, too, and I should have thought about that.”

“Erin, you’re too far away. Please, come here,” I practically beg.

She finally does, and when my arms circle her waist and I have her in my arms, I sigh with relief. Yes, I have been trying to be strong for the woman who has my heart, but deep down a part of me is screaming because I still feel as if our lives are about to be shattered apart and I have no fucking idea what to do about it.

“Don’t apologize to me, Erin.” I bend down and pick up my gloves and place them on the weight bench. “This is not your fault, and we know it. I’m just sorry you had to see me this way.”

“Adam, the same thing you told me goes for you, too. If you’re hurting, I want to know about it. No, I have a
right
to know about it. Don’t shut those kinds of feelings out. I need to be here for you just as much as you need to be here for me,” she pleads.

“You have so much strength. I admire you for that, my tough girl.”

“Yeah? Well don’t be so sure about that.”

“Oh I’m sure, all right.” I sweep a hand down the side of her face. “You know how I’m sure?” I ask as I look into her eyes.

“I would love to know how you’re so sure, Adam Payne,” she says as she drapes her arms around my neck.

I bring my mouth to within an inch of hers. “Because the little bit of strength I have, I am drawing from you.”

I see her lips start to tremble at my words and I can’t have that, so I lean into that last inch. When my mouth touches hers, neither of us says anything else until minutes later when we are interrupted by the sound of the best word I have ever been called in my life.

“Daddy?”

Chapter Twenty

Erin

Today was a good day, sitting around with my sister and my friends watching movies and crying. It was just what I needed. We laughed and talked and not one of them brought up anything about what happened except to ask me how I was feeling. A part of me feels guilty for just sitting around all day doing nothing because that just isn’t me, but having this day with family and friends felt normal. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a normal day.

Seeing Jen and Bubba’s daughter Zoe and how good she is makes me want to have another child of my own. As I sat there holding her, my thoughts drifted away from the movie and wondered what it would be like to be carrying a baby that Adam and I made out of love. I don’t know if he even wants children at all. I know he feels as if Sierra is his own, and if the day ever came when we did have one together, he would never treat her any differently than his own flesh and blood. I ended my daydreaming with a happy sigh because for the first time in a very long time I am truly happy. Whatever life throws my way there is no doubt in my mind that Adam will be by my side.

Before Jen left I promised her we would come over to her and Bubba’s house for lunch tomorrow. A small shudder went down my spine knowing I was going to let others see me looking like this. I know each and every one of them saw me in the hospital before I woke up, but I have no recollection of them being there at all. They have all accepted Sierra and me into their world. I am blessed to have friends and family like that.

Adam promised Sierra pizza tonight, so while we are getting all of the ingredients out I can’t help but laugh as Shayne and Shelby argue about who makes the better pizza. Everything was great until I found Adam beating the shit out of his punching bag. I flashed back to a few weeks ago when I caught him doing the very same thing when he was upset about me not giving into my feelings, but as I stood there and watched him I could tell this ran way deeper. He’s angry and he’s full of sorrow. I could see it written all over his handsome face. He jumped when I called out to him and when I came close to him, the pain I saw etched on his face nearly broke my heart.

When he admitted to me how this whole situation was tearing him up inside, I mentally chewed myself out because I can’t imagine what he is going through. He has comforted me so much in the last two days. Believe it or not, I am fine and I am
going
to be fine, but the man standing before me is breaking and I have no clue how to fix him. He seemed to quickly get back to himself after we talked, but I know you can’t just push that type of pain away. It will eat you alive if you do, so when Sierra hollers “Daddy!” from the top of the stairs and breaks our kiss apart, I lock what I was going to say away as I try to come up with some sort of tactical plan to help Adam fight his guilt and anger.

Leaving me breathless, he turns and walks to the bottom of the stairs.

“We’re down here, Butterfly,” he calls, slanting his head down as if to let Sierra see him.

“I gave Uncle Luke that bag of stuff for him and Lucy to make the same present for Aunt Shayne like you asked me to,” she says, coming down the stairs.

“Thanks for remembering. Now get over here and give me a hug.”

She runs straight into his arms and that feeling settles back not only in my stomach, but also in my heart. There is no doubt Adam loves my daughter.

************

“I’ll get it!” Sierra yells from the living room as the doorbell rings.

“Sierra, no!” I raise my voice a little too loud and tears start to form in her eyes. “I’m sorry, honey,” I say soothingly as I scoop her up in my arms. “It’s just you never answer the door without seeing who is it first, okay?”

She sniffles and shakes her head ‘yes’ as she lays her head on my shoulder.

“Who is it?” I ask as I look through the side glass window. Even though I can see it’s Antonio, I still want Sierra to know to never answer the door without asking.

“It’s Antonio.”

I set Sierra down and nod my head that it’s okay for her to open the door.

“Hey, munchkin.” He bends down and places a kiss on her cheek.

“Antonio. You’re just in time for dinner. We’re having pizza tonight,” I greet him.

“Yum. Pizza, my favorite.” He stands and he makes his way into the house and shuts the door behind him.

“Do you want to have dinner with us, Antonio?” Sierra fondly asks.

“I would love to have dinner with you, Sierra. But actually, I wanted to talk to your Aunt. Is she here?”

“Yup. She’s downstairs. I’ll get her.”

“Thanks, kiddo.”

As soon as Sierra is out of sight, Antonio lets out a deep sigh and brings his hand up to run it through his hair.

“You like her, don’t you?”

His eyes widen at my blunt question.

“So she’s told you everything, I see. And yes, I do like her. There is something about her that makes her so different from any other woman I have ever met and frankly it scares the fucking shit out of me.”

I think we are both a little startled about how honest he just was. I avert my eyes in the direction of the stairs to make sure Shelby isn’t coming up yet.

“I will deny this if you ever tell her, but she likes you, too. Frankly, it is scaring the shit out of her as well.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me! She sure as hell doesn’t act like she does. Your sister busts my balls every chance she gets, and here I am coming back for more.”

“See, that is why I think the two of you would make such a great couple. You both have such lovely ways with words, Antonio.”

“Yeah, well, when I want something I go after it. I am not giving up on your sister and if she doesn’t get her ass up here like, now, I am going to go down there after her.”

“Good luck with that, ass muncher.”

We both turn and face Shelby as she stands at the top of the stairs with her hands on her hips.

“Hey,” Antonio says.

“Hey back,” Shelby returns.

There is nothing but silence for what seems like eternity.

“Umm. What’s Sierra doing downstairs?” I finally ask, breaking the tension.

“Oh, sorry. She and Adam are wrapping the present they made for you and Adam said to come down in five minutes.”

“Okay, then. I’m just going to go wait in the kitchen until it’s time, then.”

I feel like I am watching a stare down competition between these two as neither of them says anything, still. One thing I do know is that those two can fake all they want to each other about how they feel, but there is no way they can fake the sexual chemistry the two of them have. I just hope like hell Antonio is prepared. My sister is definitely not like any other woman out there, in more ways than one.

I wait three excruciatingly long minutes before I walk back into the living room. When I enter, neither Shelby nor Antonio is anywhere to be found. The front porch light is turned on so I can only assume they went outside.

“Can I come down now?” I holler as I slowly make my descent down the stars.

“Yes, Mommy, and hurry!”

Sierra’s eyes are like saucers and she is fluttering all over the place. Her enthusiasm must be contagious because Adam sits in the middle of the floor with two presents in front of him and a small grin on his face. I plop myself right down on the floor next to him and Sierra somehow finagles herself right in between us.

“You ready, Mommy?”

“I guess I am.”

“Okay now here, you open this one first.”

Sierra picks up a package and sets it in front of me. I chance a glance at Adam who just sits there with a self-assured expression on his face. I take my time opening the gift and when I lift the lid of the box I gasp as I see what’s inside.

“Oh my, Sierra. Does this mean you’re going to let me go take a bubble bath now?”

I carefully pull out the cardboard door hanger that is colored purple and has all kinds of glitter on it. The lettering says, ‘Shh. Mommy is taking a bath.’

“It’s the best present ever. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Mommy. It was Daddy’s idea to make you something special but it was my idea to make you this because you love to take baths. Daddy got you some bubble bath, too. Here, look!”

She reaches over in front of Adam and hands me the other wrapped gift.

“Sorry, Daddy. I wasn’t supposed to tell her what her present was,” she says, hanging her head.

Adam just sits there looking full of himself as he draws Sierra up onto his lap and places a kiss on top of her head. I love this look so much better on him than the look just a few short hours ago when he was so desperately beating himself up.

“It’s okay, Butterfly. I bet Mommy figured out what it was, anyway.” He winks at me.

“Oh, yes. How can you have a door hanger for your bathroom without bubble bath?” I joke. “Thank you for making this for me and for this bubble bath too.” I open up the gift bag and pull out my favorite wildflower fragrance.

I look back and forth between the two of them. “I love you two so much.”

“I love you more, Mommy. I even love you as much as the ocean. And Daddy, too.”

“The ocean, huh? Wow. That’s a whole lot of love, Sierra, because the ocean is so big,” Adam says seriously.

“Yup, it is, and Mommy is a beautiful mermaid who could live in the ocean,” she says, turning and placing her dainty hands on his face. “But, Daddy, you can’t be a fish in the ocean.”

“Well, why not?” He sticks out his bottom lip, acting like he is pouting.

“Because, Daddy. Fish stink, and you don’t stink.”

I am trying so hard to hold my laughter in because Sierra is extremely serious right now.

“Hmm. Let me think what I can be, then. Oh, I know. I can be a shark so I can GET YOU!”

Sierra jumps up off of his lap as he stands up and starts chasing her around. Through the squeals and the sweet delight of hearing my daughter’s laughter, I lay my head down on the carpet and hold my door hanger to my chest.

I finally hear the front door close while assisting Adam and Sierra as they make a fort in the bedroom.

“I’m going to go see if that’s Shelby,” I say to Adam. I peek my head inside where Sierra is arranging her pillows and blankets. “Dinner will be ready pretty soon, Sierra.”

“Okay, Mommy,” she yells from under the fort.

Adam stands up and whispers at me, nodding toward the living room.

“What’s going on with those two?”

“I don’t really know, exactly. They have both told me they like each other and I really think Antonio is being genuine. I am pretty sure it’s my sister who’s the one holding back.”

“Well that’s ludicrous. If she likes him then she should just go out with him, he’s not going to hurt her, for Christ’s sake.”

“Well, I know that, and so does she, but she knows what kind of guy he is. Seriously Adam, between you and me, she told me her feelings for him and I think she’s scared of them. They’re both adults so I am not butting in, but I am going to go check on her and be nosy about it.”

“You go do that.” He slaps my ass as I saunter away. Halfway up the stairs and I come to a complete stop as I mull over what Adam said to me the other night about the things he would love to do to my ass and how he would love to fulfill every one of my fantasies. I wonder if he has had the same fantasy as I have. But the real question is, could I actually go through with it?

You know that phrase, ‘quiet as a mouse?’ That’s me right now as I stand off to the side of the living room and listen to Antonio and my sister. I have never heard her laugh so hard and it’s a full out, real laugh. I want to jump up and down and clap my hands and flop around all over the place, but I don’t. I stand still and listen to the two of them go back and forth about pizza. What the hell is up with these people and their pizza anyway? I mean, I know the Schavones are Italian, but my sister is a chef and a damn good one at that, for goodness’ sake.

“What are you doing?”

Adam sneaks up behind and snakes his arms around my waist, nearly giving me a heart attack in the process.

“Damn you! You scared the crap out of me,” I whisper.

“Sorry about that, but you look like you’re hiding over here,” he whispers back.

“That’s because I am. Now shh.” I jab him softly in the gut. With his hands still around my waist, he tugs me backwards with him until we are stopped in the middle of the hallway. Instantly, I spin around to face him.

“That is so not funny!”

“You don’t need to be spying on them.”

“I am not spying on them.”

“Yes, you are.”

I stomp my foot. Yes, I stomp my foot like a child. “No I’m not. Didn’t you hear Shelby laughing? She was
laughing.
Oh, I don’t know! It’s just that the sound of her laughter makes me so happy.”

Before I know what’s happening, all of the air is swooshed out of my lungs as Adam takes my mouth in his and backs me up against the wall into the deepest, most lingering kiss we have ever had. Sweet Lord, he smells so good. I don’t think I can ever put a description on his scent. His lips are soft, his tongue is demanding. We are both fighting for control. When Adam nudges my legs apart with his all my senses disappear, and if he wasn’t cupping and squeezing my ass I would crumple to the floor.