My eyes are instantly blinded by the light and I blink several times to adjust them and when I do, Joel is hovering over the top of me.
“How was the ride, Erin? Are you nice and comfy back there?”
I don’t know what gives me the strength not to answer him but I don’t until he leans down and grabs hold of my face, squeezing my cheeks until tears start to prick my eyes.
“If you want to live through the rest of this day, you’d better start answering me when I talk to you. For the last time, Erin. DO. NOT. FUCK. WITH. ME. Now let me show you what’s going to happen if you don’t start cooperating with me.”
He removes his hand from my face and I feel it burning from his disgusting and grimy touch. I see his hand come up and before I even know it, he backhands me across the face. It stings and it burns so bad that my eyes start to water.
“You have got to be the most foolish woman I know.”
He is so close to my face that I can smell his breath. He’s been drinking. I can smell it all over him. I try to blink back the tears and stay strong for myself as well as the ones that I love, but I can’t, I can’t do it anymore. Memories start to roll through my mind faster than a freight train as I remember what Joel did to me that last time he came home drunk. Please, God. No. Don’t let him do that to me again. This time I know I won’t be able to survive.
“I know that look, Erin. You’d better be scared, you fucking whore. I should just dig a hole and bury your ass in it, but not yet. I am going to play with you a little bit first and YOU are going to love every minute of it.”
I blink back the tears as best as I can and think of Adam. My Adam. The man who saved me, the man who loves me, the man who believes in me and in us, the man that I have to fight for. And then I see my daughter. The young, vibrant girl that she is and the woman she will become. The love I have for the two of them and the love they have for me is all the strength I need to make sure I survive. Some way, somehow, I’m going to make it through this.
“It looks like you need some help getting out.” He reaches in and lifts me out by placing one hand under my knees and the other under my neck. My body tenses up at his touch and I just want to kick and scream and have him take his filthy hands off of me.
He stands there with me cradled in his arms and stares at me for the longest time, and the way he is looking at me makes me want to spit right into his face.
“Everything that happens from here on out is your own fault. I told you if you ever left me I would make you pay, and BITCH, you are going to pay.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Erin
On the inside I am shaking and quivering and scared as hell of what Joel has planned. He’s always at his worst when he’s been drinking and after looking into his feral eyes I am even more frightened.
Joel places me down on my feet and seizes a chunk of my hair, pulling so hard I swear it is coming out by its roots. He starts pushing me in the direction of a cabin sitting on top of a hill. As I look around taking in my surroundings, I realize I know exactly where I am...we’re at Luke and Shayne’s cabin. We have been here a few times over the summer.
“Joel, what are we doing here?”
“They’re never going to look here, Erin. We’re going to stay here right under their noses until I can get us the hell out of here. So shut the fuck up and don’t say a word until I tell you to.”
He yanks on my hair and my head falls back until he has me bent backwards so I can do nothing but stare into his disgusting face.
“You know when I ask you a question you fucking answer me. Now get down on your knees!”
I am not going to give into him. If he wants me on my knees then he can force me. With his free hand he reaches into his coat pocket and retrieves his gun and points it right between my eyes. I gulp but I will not give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear. He thrives on it and
fuck him
! He is not going to get it.
“GET. DOWN. ON. YOUR. KNEES.”
Even though I wasn’t going to comply, he doesn’t give me time to react as he pulls even harder until I fall and I am lying flat on my back on top of the gravel. I feel the sting of the small, sharp rocks piercing through the skin on my back and butt.
Joel leans down and straddles me, sitting directly on my chest and cradling my head in between his knees. He brings his face within an inch of mine as he slightly slurs his words.
“You never learn, do you?” He starts squeezing my head even harder with his knees. “Now when I tell you to something you will do it, and you will not defy me. Do you want to know why, Erin? Because if you don’t, I am going to take that precious little sister of yours and make you watch me beat the ever-loving shit out of her until you beg me to stop. But I won’t. I won’t stop until I fucking kill her.”
He releases the pressure of his grip around my head and then stands up. Right as I’m trying to stand myself, he whips around and punches me in the stomach. I fall back down on the ground clutching my stomach and gasping for air. I can’t even use my hands to break my fall because they are still bound together.
I lay there fighting back tears and tell myself even though this man is crazier than I thought, there is no way that he is going to risk being caught by going back and finding Shelby. It’s me he wants. I am sick of being a victim and this time he is not going to have the Erin he once knew, this time he is going to get the Erin who is going to defend herself no matter what.
I’m still on the ground when I hear the sound of glass breaking and when I slowly get up I see Joel reaching inside and unlocking the door through a broken windowpane. I stay motionless, not knowing what Joel will do next, and when he turns around and summons me to him, I go. I will play his game until I think of a way out of here.
I climb the stairs and walk past him into the cabin. The cabin is more like a house as big as it is. When you walk in, you enter the kitchen with stainless steel appliances and a beautiful black island counter right in the middle. I keep walking, not knowing what he wants me to do and enter the huge living room with a floor to ceiling fireplace and black leather furniture. The staircase is to the right where there are two small bedrooms and a bathroom as well as a small loft area where both Sierra and Lucy played for hours one day while it rained.
I close my eyes and picture my beautiful daughter’s face until the sound of the door slamming shut brings me back to the here and now. I turn around and look at Joel who takes a swig of what I assume to be whiskey. He sets the bottle down on the counter and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Come here, Erin.”
His glare is icy as he stands there and looks at me. God, please don’t let him touch me. The thought of him putting his hands on me makes my stomach instantly churn. I slowly walk toward him with my head held high and when I am standing directly in front of him he grabs my arm and pulls me farther into the kitchen. He starts rifling through drawers and I freeze when he pulls out a long, sharp knife.
“Don’t worry, bitch. I’m just going to cut this tape off because I need your help carrying the food and bags in here. You’re going to cook me something to eat because I am fucking starving.”
He takes the knife and easily slices through the tape and peels it off. I rub my wrists to try and get back some of the circulation in them as gently as I can. They’re red and sore from being taped up for so long. I follow Joel outside and we bring everything in. I am looking through the cupboards for what I need to make eggs when I feel Joel standing directly behind me. I draw in a sharp breath and swallow down a mouthful of fear as he places his arms around my stomach and pulls me into him.
“You always had the nicest ass I have ever seen. Has your new boyfriend tapped that ass yet, Erin? Or do you still lay there like a fucking dead log?”
I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing again.
“Knowing how much of a worthless piece of ass you were in bed, I bet he hasn’t. But do answer me this, Erin. Did you suck his cock?” I swallow and simply nod my head. “You filthy, no good whore.”
He lifts me up and slams me down on top of the island, his body instantly covering mine. He starts sucking and nipping at my neck and I cringe as I feel the bile rising in my throat. I need to do whatever I can to make him get off me. I twist and turn and try to get myself free but this seems to be turning him on even more as I feel him growing hard. I need to think and think fast because if he rapes me again, I will not be able to survive it.
“Joel. Let’s eat first and then we can go to bed.”
I speak in a calm voice, hoping he listens to me. He stops and lifts his head and looks down at me.
“I’m not fucking stupid, Erin. We will go to bed, my ass. You despise me. I see it written all over your face. I will get what I want from you one way or another. But you’re right. Not yet. I want you in a bed this time not here or anywhere else because I am going to have what has always been mine.”
He climbs off of me and just when I think he is going to let me up, he slaps me again across my face. I feel my lip crack open and I can taste my own blood as it slowly drips into my mouth and down my chin. He’s not done though, as he pulls my legs to the edge of the counter and cups and squeezes right between my legs.
“This will always be mine. You will always be mine.” He gropes around the outside of my jeans. I try and block out the fact that he is touching me but it’s hard, it’s so damn hard. I just want to run but I know I won’t get very far. I exhale when he finally takes his hands off of me. I bring myself up to a sitting position in time to see him adjusting himself through his jeans. Quickly looking away before he notices me watching, I jump off of the counter and place my hand to my already swollen face. It’s warm to my touch and I flinch when Joel talks again.
“Now make me some breakfast and then yes, we are going to bed.”
Joel never takes his eyes off of me as I make the eggs and toast. He is watching me like a predator watches his prey and I feel like he is going to attack at any time. I place his food in front of him and turn my back to get myself some food. The thought of eating makes me nauseous but I have to eat to keep up my strength because I will fight him every step of the way if he tries to touch me again. I would rather die than to have his hands on me.
Not a word is spoken between the two of us as I clean everything up. I have to think. I can’t sleep in the same bed as him and let him touch me. I chance a glance over in his direction and catch him staring at me.
“Let’s go to bed, Erin.”
I shake my head ‘no’. He tilts his head to the side and stands there for several seconds and then he is right in front of my face grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the bedroom.
“I said, let’s go to bed, Erin.”
“Fuck you! I am not getting in bed with you. I hate you! You’re nothing to me. You never were and you never will be. You have been dead to me for years, Joel.”
My vision becomes tunneled as Joel’s fist connects with my face and I fall to the floor. I slowly scoot backwards as he approaches me with the look of a crazed animal. When he is finally standing in front of me I lift my right leg and kick him as hard as I can right between his legs. He places his hands over himself and falls to his knees at my feet. This is it, I think to myself. I can escape. But as I stand up he grabs my leg and pulls me back down. I kick with my free leg trying to escape, but his grip is too strong.
“You worthless bitch! You’re going to pay for that.” He stands up and drags me across the hardwood floor until he has me in front of the fireplace. I react quicker than he does because when he lets go of my leg, I grab the fireplace poker and with wobbly legs and shaky hands I stand up and swing. When it connects with his ribs, I swear I hear a crack. I go to swing again but he is faster than I am this time and stops my swing by grabbing my wrist and twisting it until I have no choice but to drop the poker.
I watch as his eyes turn pure black, full of hatred and wickedness, and I know right then and there that Joel is going to kill me. He spins me around and pulls my arm up behind my back, making me cry out from the excruciating pain he is inflicting upon me. I can do nothing but scream in protest as he pushes us toward the bedroom.
“I am going to love fucking you this time, Erin, because this time I am going to tie you up and there won’t be a damn thing you can do about it. And I love the fact that you have grown a backbone just a little bit. But if you ever try to pull a stunt like that again, I won’t warn you. I will fucking shoot you right between the eyes and not think twice about it.”
He walks us into the bedroom and straight through into the bathroom where he turns on the shower without ever letting go of my arm. Finally he releases his grip on my arm and it instantly hangs limp at my side.
“I need a shower, so take off your fucking clothes because you’re getting in there with me.
“Go to hell, you piece of shit!” I scream at him.
“I’ve been in hell for years, sweetheart. Now take off your clothes or I will take them off for you.”
“You’re a sick, twisted, no good son of a bitch!” I am not giving up this time. He will have to kill me before I give him the satisfaction of breaking me.
“Fine. You want to play games, Erin? LET’S PLAY A FUCKING GAME.”
His next actions happen so fast I don’t even see him coming at me until he has gripped the collar of my sweatshirt and with one big yank rips it down the middle. I attack, clawing and scratching at his face. I bite, I scream, I kick and the entire time I am attacking him he is trying to grab me, but I am on a mission... a mission to kill this man before he kills me. I continue my assault until I hear the click of a gun. Joel has it pointing right at me.
“Well, well, well. You really have changed, haven’t you my darling? Turn around and go lie on the bed and do it now.”
I don’t though. I spit right in his face. The last thing I remember is seeing Joel bring up his arm and his fist colliding with the side of my head.
I wake to the throbbing pain of my head killing me. I try and open both of my eyes, however only my left eye will open. The pain in my head and the right side of my face quickly sets me into panic mode as I recall what happened. My heart starts thumping faster and seems to be in perfect rhythm with the pounding in my head.
It’s still light outside when my mind finally becomes completely focused. I notice I am lying in bed and when I try to get up I can’t, my hands are tied to the bed. Fear starts clenching like a tight fist around my chest and I jerk and pull to try and get the restraints off of me. I can feel the rope start to dig and burn against my skin which causes me to stop, and I lay my head back down on the pillow. My pulse is lodged deep in my throat and a cold chill washes over my body. I look around the room for any kind of movement to see if Joel is around but he’s not and that is when I notice I am laying here in nothing but my panties. Oh, God. Help me please. It can’t end this way. It just can’t.
“You are so fucking beautiful. It’s too bad you’re a fucking bitch.” Joel waltzes into the room. He stands at the edge of the bed as his eyes roam up and down my body. “I loved you. I really did, and you fucked it all up by turning my ass in. Do you have any idea what you cost me when you did that? Of course you don’t.”
Joel starts pacing the room waving the gun around, and I follow his every move not knowing if he is going to pull the trigger or not.
I have to try and reason with him and get him to untie me, but the only way I know how to do it is to convince him to climb in bed with me. The thought of having him lay here and touch me makes my stomach clench and the hairs on my arm stand on end. I look up at the ceiling and tell myself I can do this. I have to do it. I just hope Adam can forgive me for what I am about to do.
“Joel. I am so sorry. We can work this out.” I look intently into his eyes when I talk. He stops and glares at me for several moments and then throws his head back and laughs.