Reshaping It All (22 page)

At nine years old, Mandy lost her leg. Two rare infections set in, and the combination of both was the first doctors had seen since World War II. This life-threatening time of her life was devastating, and it's also the very thing that brought her into my world.

My brother Kirk and his fiancée Chelsea were sent to the hospital through Make a Wish Foundation to visit sick children and brighten their day. Mandy had been discharged about a week earlier, but when Kirk and Chelsea heard Mandy's incredible story, they knew that they had to call her back in for a visit.

Assuming it was a routine appointment with another doctor or two, Mandy had no idea who she was about to meet. A crowd of doctors, nurses, and hospital staff stood before her as she was wheeled down the hall. And it wasn't until the crowd parted like the Red Sea that she realized just who she was going to meet. One look at the two of them, and she immediately knew it was "Mike Seaver" and "Kate" of
Growing Pains
fame. That one-of-a-kind smile of hers lit up the hall.

Kirk meets with hundreds of sick children per year. He and Chelsea choose six or seven of those children each summer to go to Camp Firefly with their families to camp with his. Back in those days when I was still living at home with Mom, Dad, Bridgette, Melissa and Kirk, our entire family would head out to the camp for the week. That's where I met Mandy, her sister Alex, their mother Lisa, and father Speed.

My mom also called inviting them to come out to LA for an entire week. They were able to meet the casts of both
Full House
and
Growing Pains
and watch the shows tape. I was about twelve years old that year when we fell in love with their family, and over time we've done our best to all keep in touch.

When I was about fifteen years old,
Full House
went to Disney World, taping the episode in Orlando, Florida. The Youngs met us there for a few days, and we all connected again. Lisa took over my fan club for a while, sending out photos and opening mail, so she'd have something to do while Mandy was in isolation. But over the years, keeping in touch became more of a Christmas card back and forth than anything else.

Fast-forward to fourteen years later when I started speaking at churches all over the country.

Lisa said, "I heard you will be speaking near us. Can we come?"

I was excited to reconnect. When Lisa and Mandy arrived, it was one of those God moments. I had so many speaking engagements in that area over the next six months and was eager to see them each time. After every event, I rushed back to my table where CDs of my testimony, faith-based T-shirts, and 8x10 color photos were available, so Lisa and Mandy started helping me out while I took care of autographs. This was great. I needed someone to travel with me, and they wanted the job. So for the past four years, Lisa, Mandy, and sometimes Alex travel with me, taking care of all the details so I can concentrate on sharing my story.

Lisa is like my mom away from home, which is nice to have when I travel, but the funny thing is that she's deathly afraid of flying. She gets on an airplane to be with me, which is a huge deal for her, but nevertheless, she does.

One particular weekend we flew in a tiny plane into a small city. Despite the fact that I fly a lot, it was one of the worst flights of both of our lives. I couldn't help but laugh the entire time, watching Lisa white knuckle the armrest, and practice what looked like lamaze. I was laughing out loud. It was hysterical! (Hysterically terrifying if you ask Lisa.)

Lisa and Mandy have been great travel companions both on the road and through this walk I call faith. Mandy has faced adversity time and time again with a smile on her face that even PMS at its worst wouldn't dare to remove. Loving life at its fullest, she says: "I have led a life that most might not find enjoyable, but I love my life, and I wouldn't change a thing. God has truly blessed me. I sometimes just have to remind myself that God only gives me what I can handle and that what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger." Mandy and people like her remind me that the journey through life, with all its adversity, is one to be enjoyed. People like Mandy don't say, "If I only had my leg . . ." They replace trials with smiles and choose to live in contentment.

We can start enjoying life by putting aside the "ifs" today:

• I'd be happier if this house was bigger.

• I'd be happier if my stomach was tighter.

• I'd be happier if only I could wear a size 6 again.

Now let's put the "buts" aside too:

• I have a great marriage, but my husband doesn't take me out enough.

• My kids are wonderful, but my two-year-old is going through a phase right now.

• I used to spend time with the Lord, but lately I'm just swamped for time.

As he thinks in his heart, so is he. (Prov. 23:7 NKJV)

Don't think for a minute that the discouragement you wear in your heart won't show on your face. Happiness is one cosmetic that's God given and free for all. I want it, don't you? Of course, we all do! I'd love to wear a smile 24-7, even 48-7 if that were possible, but even more than happiness itself, I strive to be content, living in the true joy with the peaceful knowledge that God is in control, for "godliness with contentment is great gain" (1 Tim. 6:6).

Yes, I still have hopes and dreams that will point me in one direction or the other, but ultimately when I lay my desire on the altar of worship where I trust God for my life, I'll allow God's grace to power each step. That's what contentment does, and it's learned by patience and practice. The apostle Paul said, "For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" (Phil. 4:11 KJV).

Let's look at five ways to find contentment in your life today:

1.
Stop looking back.
Remember Lot's wife—otherwise known as the pillar of salt? One can only praise God that we're not in her shoes because so many of us have looked back a thousand times more than we should have.

Longing for the things of the past or the things of the future is our way of saying, "I'm not content with what I have," or "I don't trust God with my future." Sodom was a sinful and corrupt place to be, and yet for lack of faith, Lot's wife looked back. Some of us have done the same as we've looked back on our past, wishing we could just pick and choose certain things that we lost—like that twenty-three-inch waist, or skin so tight it snapped into place. Others look to the future with anxiety, praying that God will open doors, clarify their path, give them direction, and make them skinny—today. The praying is great, but the problem too often is that we fail to leave the anxiety there, and we carry it with us instead. It's like taking a trip to the cleaners and then hauling your dirty laundry back home. Doesn't make much sense when you consider how fruitless it is.

By watching people like Mandy, I've come to learn that true contentment is when I can say, "I bring my petitions to you, Lord. I lay them at Your feet and trust that Your direction is best for my life," with the faith to stand by those words.

Peter wisely guides us on the path to contentment when he writes, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Pet. 5:7).

2.
Count your blessings.
Is it quiet in the room? I hope so because I want you to pause and consider your blessings before you move on. Discouragement is a roadblock that too many of us are staring at, hoping that someone will shove it out of the way so we can move on with our journey.

Live outward instead of living an inward-focused life. We accomplish this by letting go of the "I wants" for a focus on the "I haves."

Look back. I know I said not to, but I'm making an exception this once. I want you to look back and witness the fact that God is faithful. He has brought you this far, and He isn't about to leave you where you are today. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jer. 29:11).

Let's start counting those blessings now . . . Do you have children? A wonderful husband? A pantry full of food? A best friend? A good income? A talent? Sunshine on your face? Great cheekbones? Kind parents? Long healthy hair? Whatever you can praise God for, do it right now. Go into a room by yourself if you need to, but release your discouragement by receiving the encouragement we find when we dwell on our blessings. Name them as you give thanks to the Lord. That's when you'll get past the roadblock and move on in your faith.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." (Ps. 34:8) Amen!

3.
Delight in the Lord.
Webster's Dictionary
defines
delight
this way: "A high degree of gratification, extreme pleasure."

Have you ever met a hard-core hockey fan? I mean someone who really delights in the sport? I've seen hockey fans who invest in season tickets, attend every home game, buy their favorite player's jerseys and wait for hours, game after game, just to get it signed. They know all the stats of their team's players along with those of nearly every other player in the league. They buy all of the team paraphernalia they can get their hands on to reflect a devotion to their team—coffee cups, bumper stickers, license plates. You name it—they have it! These fans attend all of the team's charitable events. They watch multiple games simultaneously on television, stay up for hockey highlights, and play hockey video games in between. A serious fan will keep a stick and roller hockey puck in his car so he can play at any spare moment, or he'll join a league of his own that wakes him up in the wee hours of the morning or keeps him up way too late just so he gets some ice time. Lastly, and with rare exception, the serious hockey fan plans all vacation time around the playoffs.

Can I define
delight
any better than that? It would be tough, unless I started in about my passion for fashion, but let's not go there today.

With that said, I'll ask, "Do you truly delight in the Lord?" Do you seek to include Him in all that you do, or is He just a channel that you turn to every now and then?

I hope you've discovered and continue to discover the joy that flows when you delight in fellowship with the Lord. It may take a bit of slowing down on your part to see it, but His glory is evident in our world. It's there to touch and to hold and delight in. Read a psalm, watch the rain fall, take a walk and chat with Him, watch the clouds float by, hold a newborn, play with a ladybug, give a gift in His name, feel a breeze on your face, listen to the sound of laughter, taste a chocolate melting on your tongue, enjoy the smell of your husband, watch a seed sprout in soil. Discover Him in all that you do. And when you're not discovering Him, seek Him out because when you do you'll find Him. Seek Him and praise Him for all that He is, for God delights in the praise of His people!

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:4)

4.
Embrace the recipe that you own.
I'm going to go out on a limb and be stereotypical for a moment by saying that women—at least the ones I've met—have a tendency to compare themselves with others. Dare I also say often? You may not be the wealthiest, the thinnest, or the most attractive person you know—neither am I. But it's also likely that there are less attractive, less successful, and less fortunate people too. That's why it's pointless even to begin to measure ourselves against others. It's a fact of life. There will always be prettier, thinner, and more successful women than us, but that's okay. Let's accept this fact and move on. Among the glitter and glitz of Hollywood, there is one thing that it doesn't possess, and that, my dear, is you. Embrace that.

There will never be another woman who owns the look, the personality, and the experience that you do. Those ingredients make up the recipe that defines who you are, and it's your gift from the Lord—own it. Originality is something to be desired, and you've got it, girl, whether you know it or not.

5.
Choose your reaction.
After losing her leg, Mandy was in a coma for weeks on end. They didn't know if she was going to live or die and were initially told she had a 3 percent chance of survival. She didn't even know that her leg was missing, and when she did wake up, how would they tell her?

Lisa remembers the nurse waking them up in the hospital to say that Mandy was finally awake. It was a miracle moment. They decided then and there to be honest with her. It was amputation and life or saving her leg only to let her move on from this life—an option they didn't feel was in line with God's plan. He had a special purpose for her life, and they wanted to see her live that life out.

"We will get through this," they said, "together."

It was the Fourth of July. Mandy was still recovering in the hospital, and while Speed was by her side, Lisa went home to take care of some things. Opening the closet door, she looked down at each little shoe, lined up side by side, then took the left shoe away from each pair they owned. At that moment Lisa realized their lives were forever changed. It was also a time when she realized that she needed to prove to her daughter that life could be the same.

When Mandy got home from the hospital, she was expected to make her bed just as she always had. "But I can't," she cried, moving around on one leg.

Lisa insisted she could and then went off to her bedroom to cry. It was the only way they knew how to have a sense of normalcy. They knew that life would be hard, but they chose to live life just as they always had on the strong foundation of faith.

"That's the life we've been given to live," Lisa says with a smile, "and despite our affliction we've chosen joy over sorrow. "

I'd like to encourage you to consider your reaction the next time you feel a blow. Forgot your keys? Late for a meeting? Didn't get the job you wanted? The bills are piling up? Remember that your reaction to each situation—whether weak or strong—is the only thing that can hurt you, so choose it well. We can choose to cower in the face of life's failures, or we can hand our pain over to God, receive from His grace, and take your next breath of faith.