Reshaping It All (29 page)

During the summer we play sports together a whole lot more. I get a break from work, and they are out of school. Since we're only three blocks from the beach, all five of us will go there for a run. About four times a week, we run thirty to forty-five minutes together. I love the smiles from people as they pass-by team Bure!

We also do our beach exercises in the sand. Maks loves to throw the frisbee, Lev likes to play football, and we all enjoy boogie and skim boarding together. It keeps us active while we're having a blast! Maybe you don't live near the beach, but if you live near a park, you can always go there to play football or soccer. Use trees or shoes as goalposts. There are so many fun, creative ways to enjoy your children and exercise with them.

We bike ride too. In Florida we'd take a great route near our house that went through an enormous park, but now that we're back in LA, the beach path it is. The path goes from our house through Santa Monica and Pacific Palisades. Not only are we teaching our kids good exercise habits, but it's working for us too.

You don't have to be sweating it out at the gym alone. Life is about living. A mom can be overwhelmed thinking about how to find time to work, exercise, run errands, prepare dinner, do the laundry, and spend quality time with the kids after school while they do homework. But if you think about it, you can spend time with kids outside getting fresh air and exercising together while dinner's cooking in the oven. How's that for multitasking? If you are a list person like me, you can check off a few things at once:

• Dinner

• Exercise

• Spending time with the children

• Teaching good habits.

It's done, all in one shot! It should feel less overwhelming when there is a practical way to exercise with the family. This kind of behavior draws our children's attention and peaks their interest in us. Once we have their attention, we can instill the value of health that they can carry for years. All it takes is a little strength training, concentration, and balance—three things we all need to learn. Exercise will encourage activity and an interest in sports, which leads to good health. Be that compelling person your family needs you to be, and start letting that little light shine!

The Pantry

CHOCKED-FULL OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The Main Ingredient

Healthy food shouldn't be reserved for moms and dads on a diet. If you are making better choices for your life, you should be making them for your child as well. Good health should be a family affair, a legacy we pass down to our kids.

Slice of Advice

Dear Candace

Candace, I want to ask if you have any thoughts about how to teach our little ones about Christ? I have two boys: ages two and five. I try to teach them about God; we read Bible stories at bedtime, and we pray and talk about God here and there. Maybe it's just a developmental thing, but my five-year-old seems so aloof. When he prays, he's just repeating the words he's heard me pray; it doesn't come from within himself. And when I try to teach him about God, he's looking off into space or trying to play with something. It is so frustrating to me because more than anything I want them to know and love the Lord.

I'm not sure if God is just still an abstract idea to him or if he just doesn't have a reverence for God yet. Would love to know your thoughts! Thanks so much!

—Delanie

Dear Delanie,

You sound like you are doing a wonderful job with your children teaching them about Christ. Don't be discouraged if your five-year-old doesn't "get" Him yet—he's five! Yes, I know some children who have professed their love for the Lord at the same age, but everyone develops differently. The most important thing you can continue to do is to love your children and teach them about God. Continue to read with them, play with them, and nurture them. Don't think that reading those Bible stories is all for nothing. You'll be surprised one day when your son is asked about something and he'll recall a Bible story mommy read. Kids are like sponges. They soak it ALL in. Some kids just don't squeeze it out till later.

I love
The Way of the Master
book for kids. It's a really fun way to learn the Ten Commandments and the story of creation. Remember that the best way to teach your kids at a young age about God, is to reflect within yourself the things you're trying to teach. In other words, live out your life for Christ. Your actions will speak loud and clear.

Keep up the good work and put your worry to rest. God loves your boys more than you do! Can you imagine that?!

—Candace

A Pinch of Practicality

When you take your kids out for ice cream or a doughnut, walk there with them. The first time our friends took their kids, Blake and Chloe, out for a doughnut, it took them a good twenty-five minutes to get there. They grumbled a bit. But they enjoyed the doughnut enough that they wanted to go again the next week.

The treat is worth the effort. Get them to ride their bikes or a scooter if it's a little farther for them. Or get the whole family to grocery shop together and each carry a bag home. That will also teach some good manners.

Another practical tip I can offer is that I purposely hand my boys the groceries every time I check out of the store, or I'll stop in front of the doors to wait for them to open it, so they'll learn how to treat a lady well.

Food for Thought

A recap of Scripture to meditate on:

• But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." (Ruth 1:16–17)

• You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matt. 5:14–16)

The Candy Dish

"Children are the seeds our days plant." —Anne Voskamp

From My Stove to Yours

Cauliflower Sauteed with Anchovies

Not a big fan of cauliflower or anchovies? Just trust me on this one and try it at least once. There is no fishy taste, but it's salty and fantastic!

It's my all-time FAVORITE!

Serves 4 as a side, or I eat the whole thing for dinner.

Ingredients

1 medium head cauliflower

3 tablespoons olive oil

4 to 6 anchovy fillets, drained

Pepper to taste

Water, if needed

Directions

Wash the cauliflower and break it into small florets; also chop the stems. Heat a large skillet over medium high. Sauté the oil and anchovies in a skillet—just until you see the anchovies have broken down. Add the cauliflower. Season with pepper and stir to coat.

Cook on high heat for about 20 minutes (adding a little water if you need to so it doesn't brown too fast). Turn the heat down to low and cover for about 5 minutes or until cauliflower is tender.

NINETEEN

Being Good Isn't Good Enough

Do you trust God enough to enter His rest?

Take a look at this verse, and let it soak in for a minute:

I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it. I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. (Phil. 3:10–12 The Message)

Paul wasn't merely hoping to experience the resurrection of Jesus Christ; he was also willing to be a partner in the sufferings of Christ. When we look at the trials Jesus faced throughout His life, and even more so on the day of His crucifixion, we see: grief, fear, shame, regret, hunger, thirst, wrath, terror, judgment, and death.

Christ's vigorous journey to the cross and His obedience to the Father remind me to "let go and let God." The Bible refers to this letting go as entering into His rest, "Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience" (Heb. 4:11).

Rest and the cross—can the two be compared? Absolutely—let me explain why. When we enter His rest, we give up our fight. His hand takes over and begins to animate our lives like the shell of a puppet. It's not easy to put down our will so that His can be done. It's not easy to face shame for His sake or judgment or terror, but we might when we choose God's will over ours for our lives.

What about hunger and thirst? Do you know that hunger is a running theme throughout the Scriptures? God fed the Israelites on manna for forty years to teach them that He alone sustains life. Complete dependency on Him is the eternal lesson we all must learn. Dependency = rest. Again we see this complete dependency from Jesus Himself in John 19:

Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, "It is finished." With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit. (vv. 28–30)

When I look at lessons like that, my diet—my struggle to eat well and move more, to stop when I'm full—pales in comparison. It's just one thing of many that I had to hand over to God in my life.

Let me paint a scenario. You've eaten a good dinner, stopped when you were satisfied, and feel pretty good about the choices you've made. Thirty minutes later the TV goes on, and the family starts rummaging through the kitchen for a television snack. Suddenly you get the munchies. Your brain starts off slow and then goes into a wild frenzy of arguments giving you every reason you deserve to eat more than you should. Telling you that you can break the rules "just this once" even though you know that last night, and the night before that and the night before that, were the "just once" days too.

Say "no."

What's the worst that can happen? You suffer a little internal sting while others around you indulge. As Paul said, make every effort to enter into His rest, which includes the resolution that God and only God can sustain us.

Making it through the little lessons helps to strengthen us for the tougher ones: grief, fear, shame, regret, wrath, terror, judgment, and death. It's not easy to put down our will so that His can be done, but I promise you this: it will bring peace to your life.

In all areas of my life I continue to put down my will for His. That includes health, family, friends, and work. Working in television and movies today can be difficult for a Christian, and at times it's difficult to know where to draw the line and when it's okay to say yes. That's when I use conscience and prayer to decide.

I've worked on a few things that I have regretted since becoming a Christian. There's no turning back. However, now that I have a biblical worldview, my decisions are different, and my options are fewer. Some agents will tell new actors that they can't be picky about what they work on if they intend to establish themselves. In fact, many of them will push actors to audition for everything and will encourage them to take whatever is available. There's no doubt that acting jobs aren't increasing with the takeover of reality television. They'll tell you not to worry about compromising on the small stuff now because if you start working regularly and develop a name for yourself, you will have more opportunity to pick and choose then.

Entering into His rest means that I MUST pick and choose. I don't want to compromise my moral standards for some time in front of the camera. And I certainly won't work on something that could lead any searching soul astray, or as Paul says, fall by my example of disobedience. This has made it difficult to be a Christian in the entertainment business at times.

Many TV shows and movies today don't uphold the standards I value as a Christian and as a mom. I am blessed to work with managers and an agency that are fully aware of where I stand morally, who know that I won't go on auditions if they compromise my faith in any way. Honestly, it's not easy to find those people who are willing to work like this when there are so many other talented actors who are willing to take any and all roles.

If an audition comes along and there isn't much information on it, I get the sides in advance so I can decide either to take it or pass, just as I do with Natasha.

I hope I can be like the apostle Paul one day who WANTS to partake in the sufferings of Christ. I want to live in obedience, but there's always a part of me that hopes that obedience will turn in my favor. Being putty in His hands, resting in His plans, and laying my burden at His feet means that I'll be a different wife, mom, daughter, friend, and actor than the world would expect. It means that I'll be animated by the hand of my Lord, ready to do His will when He speaks. I can't be salt and light if I become like everyone else.

God has placed me in a position that's wonderful most days, but at other times it's a sobering place to be. I realize that being in front of the camera on national television, standing on stage in front of an audience of ten thousand people, and being a mom to my three little kids are all tasks that come with enormous responsibility. I don't take any of them lightly. As a Christian I know that the day will come when I stand in front of my Lord and give account for every word that was spoken. I pray His response will be "Well done, my good and faithful Candace."

But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. (Matt. 12:36–37)