Reshaping It All (27 page)

I remember one occasion when we had guests staying with us for a week. As per the norm, we briefed our guests on Emma, warning them not to leave one shred of food in their room. In addition to that, we instructed them to keep the door closed any time they were out, or Emma would make her way in.

"Are you sure you don't have food of any kind?" I asked. And they assured me they didn't.

Not realizing the potential that Emma had to sniff out and find food, our guests went out for the day, forgetting to close the bedroom door. They returned several hours later to find their suitcases open, clothing strewn around the room, makeup case unzipped, and an empty wrapper licked clean. That granola bar was never seen again.

I had to assure them that it wasn't our kids that got in there and ransacked their room. We had no doubt it was a little dog with a huge appetite and a lack of self-control.

We saw her do the same with purses. It wasn't uncommon for a friend to reach for her purse only to find the contents removed while Emma ran away with a piece of gum or a cough drop. She would open zippers, unsnap snaps, and unbuckle buckles to get her paws on a morsel of food.

Cocker spaniels are bred to hunt birds, and if they aren't exposed to the outlet for which they are born, they tend to be a little unbridled at times. I wasn't much of a bird hunter, nor had I planned to be, so Emma did her best to occupy herself with as much food as she could find. She could go from empty to way past full in sixty seconds flat. She got into garbage outside, she got into garbage inside, and she filled up on anything and everything she could find. She had the craziest appetite I've ever seen.

Each time she got caught, those remorseful eyes tried to convince me she would never do it again. But somehow I suspected she would.

Emma was fourteen years old last summer and by that age she was losing it. She was blind, deaf, and her quality of life was failing her, so with much sadness we decided to put her down.

Our little sweetheart was a curious, active dog with kitten-like paws and long floppy ears that reflected the free spirit she was. As much work as she was at times, I don't know if I'd have wanted her any other way.

In stark contrast to Emma was Sydney. She was a large breed dog with abundant strength. I got Sydney a short while before I moved out of my parents' house. She was my own dog and my responsibility. Our dad wasn't crazy about the idea of us getting a dog because he said that the responsibility of taking care of it would eventually fall on him. With all of us kids doing our own thing, he figured he'd be the one walking, feeding, and being the primary caretaker of the dog, and so we opted for reptiles instead. They weren't cuddly pets whatsoever, but they were easy to care for nonetheless.

Once I knew that I was getting my own house, my parents also agreed to let me get my own dog. I wanted a Rottweiler because of the security factor and also because I've always been drawn to that breed. Rottweilers are devoted, obedient, and eager to learn.

I went to a breeder to find her, and when the breeder saw how small I was, she was hesitant to sell me the male. That worked out best for me anyway because Sydney was my first choice. Unlike Emma (who came along later), Sydney was a calm and self-confident dog, who tested her surroundings before jumping in with four feet. Being a big dog, she preferred to live small, with a bark that was smaller than her bite. She was named after Laura Leighton's character, the fiery redhead on
Melrose Place.

Her black and mahogany coat clothed a large muscular build—a ferocious appearance that was merely skin deep. People would often enter our property from the back to visit Mom's agency, but Sydney was gentle with everyone she met. We trained her to drop each time we said, "Bang!" Pointing my finger, she'd fall back with four paws in the air. It was a vulnerable position, especially for that type of dog. But Sydney was self-controlled and loyal at all times.

Once we moved out of Mom and Dad's place, Sydney's protective instincts gave me a sense of safety. Because of her exceptional strength, I was careful to bridle her energy with proper training and care. Alongside my efforts, I felt that Sydney put in great effort herself.

Sydney was with me when I moved out on my own, through my courtship with Val, and through the birth of all three of our children. Her protective instincts made her a great family pet alongside Emma.

There were times when we were living in Montreal, Canada, when Val was playing hockey with the Canadiens that I had to board her back in California at my parents' house. Val was on the road a lot, and if I was busy, she would stay there for months at a time. California was always her home away from home. And as much as my dad tried to avoid it, the responsibility of taking care of a dog eventually did fall back on him. But my parents loved Sydney and could hardly resist such a well-trained companion, who really wasn't much work.

She was gentle with our children and protective when she needed to be. With Val traveling, the kids and I were often alone. We appreciated having a large protective dog in the house. She was better security than any alarm system could offer.

I'd often say, "If anyone wants to break in my house, they have to deal with my dogs."

Sydney could sit, roll, and lie down on command. And she would twist and perk up her triangular ears when we asked, "Who's there?" She was good on a leash. Meanwhile Emma would walk alongside her distracted by the scent of anything that even slightly smelled edible.

She was a remarkable companion who shared a good part of our lives. Unfortunately she was only ten when she got cancer and soon after died in surgery.

When I think of Sydney and Emma, I see the contrast in their personalities, and I discover the benefit that meekness can add to one's character. I've found a deeper understanding of meekness and how to apply it to my life. Suddenly its purpose is clear.

Is meekness a weakness? Often we equate the word
meekness
with words like:

• Weak

• Timid

• Nervous

• Shy

• Frail

• Feeble

• Hesitant

Yet when we look closer at the word
meek,
we find strength under control.

The Greek word is
praeiv,
translated in Strong's Concordance (#4239) as: "mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit, meekness." True synonyms for the word
meek
include:

• Humble

• Submissive

• Gentle

• Obedient

• Subservient

• Modest

• Mild

So the idea is that a meek person is someone who is gentle, tolerant, patient, long-suffering, and someone who is submissive to God.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. (Matt. 5:5)

Contrary to the way the world would see it, meekness does not equate weakness. In fact, it's the exact opposite. Meekness is being strong yet controlled.

When studying the Word, I found that the Greeks often equated meekness with the taming of an animal, such as a horse that was broken in as opposed to one that is wild. This reminded me so much of Sydney. With incredible body strength, she was capable of doing severe damage, and yet she was the meekest animal I have ever met. We knew she was meek each time she rolled over on her back and played dead. It was one of the most submissive actions an animal of her breed could display.

By the time Sydney was a few years old, she was trained to respond well on a leash. While we took her for walks alongside Emma, she quietly kept pace. Emma on the other hand wanted the world to know she was there. She liked to be heard and be seen. When approached by other dogs, Sydney remained calm. Knowing she could take most dogs out with one gulp, she chose not to strike back. Instead of retaliating, she remained under control, following the lead of her master.

I look to Jesus whose life was a reflection of His desire to follow the Master. He always put the Father's will over His. When He was tempted in the desert, He stayed calm and continued His work. When He was driven out of town by an angry mob who threatened to throw Him off a cliff, He chose to leave calmly. He could have called a multitude of angels to His rescue, He could have let emotion overshadow the plan, but He didn't. He remained controlled under pressure—the essence of meekness.

He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth. (Isa. 53:7)

And the same meek and gentle Jesus Christ:

Entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. (Matt. 21:12)

How is that meek?

Always ready to defend His faith yet never defending Himself. Therein lays the strength of the meek: in the ability to control one's passions and desires. There is a time when defense is in order, and in the case of the money changers, Jesus was illustrating that lesson. He never defended himself, but He was always ready to defend the Father.

Sydney and Emma depicted both meekness and weakness. One was led by unbridled passion while the other was strength under control.

If we learn to control our passions in the small things of life, we equip ourselves to be further controlled in the larger issues. On the other hand, if we let our emotions rule us, we become a slave to them.

We know it's not good to eat too much food or to indulge in junk just because our body craves the sugar and salt. Each time we do, we exercise that same uncontrolled passion that Emma displayed. If we don't rule our passions, we leave ourselves open and vulnerable to attack.

Jesus equipped Himself for ministry by fasting in the wilderness for forty days and forty nights, bringing His body under subjection to the Spirit. Can you say no to an extra brownie or two? Can you say no to a soda pop and grab water instead? Each time you let your passions rule your choice, you are letting them rule over you. Isn't that a discouraging thought?

Can you imagine how great a force we could be if we could live a life of meekness in the same manner as Jesus? If we could bridle our passion to where the Spirit is taking the lead, we could become a conquering force able not only to reject the next binge but to stand up for our faith when the going gets tough.

If controlling our appetite weren't of great importance, why would fasting be of any use? It's a form of self-denial, and any healthy denial of self teaches our flesh that God's Spirit is in control.

Losing weight is great, but the truth is that our pant size isn't what bugs us the most, is it? It's our failure to control our appetite time and time again. It's the overwhelming feeling that we're in bondage to food. It's the feeling that we're trapped in a body that has control over us. That's why we want change. That's why we need change!

When we're self-controlled, we eat until we are satisfied. We exercise because we know it's a good thing to do. And we make healthy choices because we are following a plan instead of a whim.

Is meekness a weakness? Not a chance. It's bridled passion under control.

The Pantry

CHOCKED-FULL OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The Main Ingredient

One of the greatest characteristics anyone could possess is the ability to control their passion. Following a plan instead of yielding to impulse keeps us on a sure and steady path to freedom.

A Slice of Advice

Candace,

I know that you love Pilates and that they've been great in keeping your stomach flat. I saw you on VH1's celebrity slim-downs, and you looked fantastic. I couldn't believe you have three kids and still look like you're twenty!

I'd love to try Pilates, but I don't even know what it's all about. Do you know of any online resources that have good Pilates videos, or of any DVDs I can pick up to do Pilates at home? Also, is this something that I actually can do at home, or would I need special equipment the gym would provide?

I'd love to give this a shot.

—Merrilee

Hi Merrilee,

I was introduced to Pilates by my neighbor who lost her last twenty pounds and kept bugging me to go with her. She told me how much I'd love it and wouldn't want to do anything else. She was right! I go to a studio where they have Pilates equipment, which includes a reformer, a chair, and the tower.

I've found that in doing Pilates over the years, I find the results to be much better in a studio with an instructor than on a DVD with just a mat on the floor. I'm sure if a studio isn't convenient for you, DVDs would be a good option. The equipment itself is pricey, and unless you're totally dedicated to it, I can't imagine anyone purchasing it as a beginner, although I know there are some alternative products for in-home use.

One thing I'd like to add is that if you find a studio, make sure the instructor is teaching you proper technique, aligning and adjusting your body so you can feel your muscles working, and instructing so you're sweating through the session. Many Pilates teachers can instruct in a slow, stretching type of technique, and as a woman who wants a good workout, this style isn't for me. I need to be pushed and move at a faster, harder rate.

Hope that helps!

—Candace

A Pinch of Practicality

If treats or bonus points are a part of your healthy plan, try to save them for the end of the day when possible. It's always nice to have something to look forward to. However, if we consume our rewards too early in the day, we might give in to a feeling of deprivation. It's always nice to feel that balance when we have had a good day and can rest assured that enjoying a treat is a guilt-free snack.

Be cautious that you don't overindulge. Choose your portion beforehand and stick to your rule. Enjoy every bite, and remember that it's still going to be there tomorrow.