Reshaping It All (6 page)

1. What is the goal you hope to attain? (Weight loss, better health, release from the bondage of food, more energy, a fitness routine, etc.) Without a specific goal in mind, it's nearly impossible to attain it. Be specific. If you want to lose weight, decide how much you hope to lose and when you hope to reach this goal. Knowing how much you want to lose will be the measuring stick to the time and effort required to lose the extra pounds. It will also measure the lifestyle changes required in maintaining the loss.

2.What do you hope to gain by reaching this goal? (I'll feel younger, gain respect, feel accepted, look beautiful, etc.) Answer honestly; and don't worry, no one but you will peek at your answer. By looking at the emotion behind the goal, you may also discover your drive. Hopefully this step of self-analysis will give you a deeper understanding of yourself. It could prompt you to choose a direction you've never considered before. If the answer is "to be skinny," then go one step further and ask what being skinny would mean to you. Our reasons tend to shift over time, and therefore it's an interesting exercise to evaluate where you are today.

3. What is the cost? What is it going to take to make this change? Will you do the legwork it takes to reach this goal? If you want to lose weight, carefully map out the plan, listing the life changes you'll make to get you there. If drinking more water is important, then also list it here. If you want more energy, you will need to be eating well and exercising regularly. Be specific, listing things you need to eliminate as well as changes you need to incorporate. It might be that you are taking things slow, making one change per week, or it could be that you need to make several changes now.

The ability to envision your goal and the means of getting there brings us that much closer to achieving it. We become travelers on a journey equipped with a compass and a map.

Once you have decided exactly what your final goal will be, we can start breaking it down into smaller attainable pieces. For example, if you want to lose fifty pounds this year (let's round that off to fifty-two pounds in fifty-two weeks), we can do the math and conclude that your focus for each week will be one pound. That's it—one pound per week! One hundred pounds? Then you're looking at roughly two pounds per week, which is attainable if you have counted the cost and are willing to adhere to the plan.

Author Mark Twain said, "The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable ones then starting on the first one."

You start by taking the first step today and concentrating on each step as it comes. If you can make it through one day, you have the same ability to make it through each day that follows. Standing face-to-face with a mountain can be overwhelming, especially when your perspective is that of looking up from the bottom. But if we decide to take one step and then another, looking only at the ground set before us, we realize the potential we have.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt. 6:34)

Too often dieters will say, "I want to lose weight so I'll start cutting back." And that's pretty much the end of the plan, as undefined as it may be. Be prepared for the Achilles' heel of internal negotiation. If my best friend Dilini shows up with a box of chocolates for me tonight, that I mindlessly munch while watching TV, "cutting back" may not hold the same definition that it held yesterday. If I have to start dealing with internal conflict between my desire and my thoughts, I could easily take the low road that leads to desire. Internal conflict is a constant fight between flesh and spirit. It's our desire opposing our wisdom with both fighting for control.

Without a set plan, we tend to negotiate a bit too much with the stomach, and when that happens, we all know who wins! But if I accept those chocolates with the foreknowledge that a small treat after dinner is in line with my plan, I don't have to negotiate. I can rely on a plan rather than impulse. Two chocolates come out of the box, and the rest are put into the cupboard and out of sight until the next day. The plan doesn't mean you necessarily have to start counting calories; it could mean envisioning the size and frequency of your meals beforehand, then sticking to the rule. This is where wisdom takes over and willpower takes a backseat.

The same thing can apply to exercise. The familiar line, "I plan to exercise more often from now on!" What does that mean? "More often" can mean once, or it can mean daily. If you leave the choice up to whim, chances are you'll opt for the minimum rather than the maximum workout experience. Be precise. Develop a regime you will stick to. For example, if your plan is to walk for forty minutes five times a week, map it out by deciding ahead of time when you'll schedule your walks, where you'll be walking (treadmill, outside, etc.). And if you can find a partner, then jot down whom you'll be with. By scheduling a time, we move it into our life and begin to shift things around it, rather than trying to squeeze it in where it fits. Priorities have a way of squeezing out the less pleasant activities, unless we make a point to prioritize them.

In a 2008 interview with Larry King, actress Ricki Lake, famous for losing over a hundred pounds and successfully keeping it off for over a decade (way to go Ricki!) said, "It's all in moderation; I think it's being consistent; I think it's being conscious of what you put in your body. There's no magic pill, there's no secret—it's hard work and being consistent." She added, "Any diet works, I've done them all. If you stick to it, they all work. But you have to stick to that plan."

The "plan" makes us conscious and aware of what we're putting into our bodies and how we are taking care of them, by fine tuning our focus. It eliminates bad habits while establishing good ones. When we prioritize items within the plan, we aren't wasting energy or spinning our wheels.

Evaluation is also important. If you aren't getting anywhere with your weight-loss plan, take a close look to see where you need some adjustment. Remember that if you're drinking calories in addition to your meals, cutting them out will benefit you. Consider portion size to see if you need to cut back. Look at the extras like gravy, cream, and dressing to see if they are an issue.

Setting a goal to lose slowly is not something most of us want to do, but it's a good way to go, and the truth is that time does go by fast. Imagine being fifty-two pounds lighter next year at this time. That's only one pound a week. Likely one frustrating, hair-pulling pound at a time, which calls for plenty of patience, but imagine the difference it would make! That is if you even had fifty-two pounds to lose. Maybe it's that last ten, twenty, or remaining baby weight of thirty pounds. Develop a plan, roll up your sleeves, and get the job done.

In formulating a plan that works best for your life, I'd like to offer you this snippet of wisdom:

If you want something you've never had before,

you have to do something you've never done before.

—Author unknown

Think about that. Doing mediocre work won't get you in fantastic shape. If you want to wear a different pair of pants, you have to live differently. Living differently doesn't mean you need to change the world around you, but it does mean you will have to make changes within. That's doable!

Watch thin eaters for a while, and you'll soon discover that most of them have a natural tendency to eat just enough. They haven't made eating a form of late-night entertainment, and eating isn't on their mind 24-7. In other words, it isn't their god. That natural tendency to eat just enough and to look at food as fuel rather than entertainment can be a part of you, too, over time. I don't look at food the way I used to anymore. I don't count calories, and I don't have to concentrate on stopping when I'm full. I've become so accustomed to living this way over time that it's ingrained in me now.

The plan I started with in the beginning was one that would fit into my lifestyle: eat the food that I love in moderation and exercise on a regular basis. I counted the cost, decided that I wanted to look good and feel great, and then did the necessary work to get there. I lost twenty pounds when I was seventeen years old and after each pregnancy was able to return to that comfortable weight once again. I've even dropped another five pounds in recent years staying at the lowest and the leanest weight I've ever been in my adult life. My clothing fits well, I have more energy than I did at sixteen, and I have learned the value of working and the return that it brings.

The Pantry

CHOCKED-FULL OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The Main Ingredient

Mapping out a plan, considering both the pros and cons beforehand, and deciding how to handle those cons will bring you that much closer to reaching success. There are so many plans out there that fit a wide range of lifestyles. Therefore it only stands to reason that some will be a good fit while others won't work well for you.

You may need to try a few out before you find your particular niche. The idea is to find one that not only works to bring you results but is also a lifestyle plan you would be willing to commit to for life.

A Slice of Advice

Dear Candace,

I grew up watching you on television. I am now thirty-three years old, and I recently became a mother to a beautiful little girl. She proved to me that God doesn't let you know how wonderful and amazing motherhood is until you have a child. My daughter is the single greatest joy in our lives, and we cherish her every day.

Anyway, on to my question . . .

I have been on your Web site and viewed your beautiful pictures and can't help but think, How does she look so good, and stay in such great shape after having three kids? I was quite thin prebaby, but I haven't managed to get my body back in the eight months since she was born.

Any advice on how you got into shape after your babies? I am breastfeeding (I'm not sure if you did as well), therefore I can't go on any strict diets, but I'd love to hear what your diet and exercise regimen were like postbaby.

—Marnie

Dear Marnie,

Congratulations on your daughter! Eight months and breast-feeding, huh? Surely you can shed a few pounds. My sister is breast-feeding and her son is four months. She called me this morning to tell me she dropped another pound.

No, you can't go on any strict diets, but you can certainly eat healthier and exercise more. Walks with the baby in the stroller are perfect. Start doing it five days a week! I also loved doing exercise DVDs when the kids were taking naps (or before they woke up).

Eat fresh foods—meaning no processed foods with ingredients listing words you can't pronounce! If it grows in the ground or on a tree and God made it without man fixing it up, eat it! Eat lots of fresh veggies, fruits, and lean proteins like chicken, turkey, and fish. I keep my portions small and try not to stuff myself. Halfway through, I check myself, "Am I satisfied—not full, but satisfied?" If so, I keep the rest for later.

It all comes down to your intake of calories. It's no big secret. I don't have any miracles. I eat healthy and I exercise. You can do it too! If you're not sure how to "eat healthy," there are lots of good books or programs that can help you learn like the South Beach Diet or Weight Watchers. Because you're breast-feeding, you can keep up your calories, but make sure they're good calories and not from high trans fat foods and soda pop.

Here is my plan in a nutshell:

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Stop eating when you're satisfied.

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Don't eat fried food or traditional fast food.

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Watch your daily intake (from cheeses and cream based foods)

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Don't drink soda pop or sugar drinks.

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Eats lots of fresh veggies, fruit, and lean proteins.

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Keep desserts to a few bites.

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Snack on nuts (seven to ten).

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Drink lots of water.

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Get some exercise!

—Candace

A Pinch of Practicality

If you want to take off the weight, or you're looking to create a healthier lifestyle, then sit down for a while today and map out the plan. Remember that weight loss is all about calories in and calories out. Better health requires that you give your body the required nutrients it needs.

Start by using the Internet to find out what each plan has to offer and how that would fit into your life. There will be some pain for some gain, but remember, this plan is for life.

The United States Department of Agriculture provides food guidelines for the average person as well as new moms and moms to be. You can find that information online through a quick search. It's a great place to start if you're looking to formulate your own plan. And guess what, moms? It also offers guidelines for your child's plan too.

Also consider your activity, and weigh it against your life. If you're not that energetic, then you may choose to implement a rigorous workout plan for yourself. You'll find several "calories burned" calculators online that can help you make an informed decision.

Finally you can consider the simple plan I live by, which I've outlined above in the "Slice of Advice." Maybe that one will work best for you too.

Make notes on each plan, pray about it, and then make your choice.

Food for Thought

A recap of Scripture to meditate on:

• Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him saying, "This fellow began to build and was not able to finish." (Luke 14:28–30)

• Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt. 6:34)

The Candy Dish