Reshaping It All (3 page)

As a result of this mind-set, many of us spend our lifetime searching for a miraculous way to keep the binge and lose the bulge. Instead of taming our uncontrolled appetite to behave like it should, we continue to nurture and spoil it over time. The morning starts off with a longing for lunch and a yearning for "just the right thing," till we get it. We complain how bloated we feel after lunch, and then within an hour we're back to discussing what dinner will be. The cycle continues until it ends somewhere around 11:00 p.m. with another snack on our lap.
Sound familiar?

One problem with our overweight society is that we've been trained to look at food as the problem rather than our approach to appetite. Food has become the focus of our culture with fast-food signs adorning every street corner. In hopes of fixing this obsession with food, we find diet plans that offer twice the binge at half the calories, or we reach for pills that will quickly shed the pounds. Sounds great when one finds out that she can still eat till her eyes are leaking and not gain a pound, but what she isn't learning in the process is how to behave as a disciplined eater, or that God calls us to
moderation
in all things.

He doesn't say, "Eat this; avoid that," or, "Hey, girl, have you counted the calories in that bagel?" He wisely instructs us to be moderate. First Timothy 4:4–5 says, "For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer."

Diets usually fail for one or all of these three reasons:

1. No Pain No Gain.
We choose to sprint instead of training for the long run.

2. We're Spoiled.
We try to change only the food that we eat instead of changing our mind-set.

3. Lack of Conviction.
We don't truly believe that the benefits are worth the effort it takes to get us there.

Which one are you?

Reason 1: No Pain No Gain

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it" (Heb. 12:11)

What shape is your resistance muscle in? Has it been lying dormant for years? If so, I imagine that any workout, big or small, results in discomfort and pain.

Training and discipline are so important to achieving success. Without discipline we'll run for a bit but tire out long before the race is won. We might pick it up again in six months to a year and do the entire sprint over again with the same result.

If we want permanent solutions, we have to train ourselves for the long run. Since my husband Val played for the NHL, I have seen the vigorous training regimen he's had to go through. Val knows that in order to play the game and to play it well, which he does, it's going to take training and conviction on his part. It's not about the way he
feels
at the moment; it's what he
must do
to win.

An important aspect in training is that of our muscle memory. Muscle memory involves the repetition of skills until the movements become automatic. Many of us use the muscle memory for simple things like tying a shoe or brushing our teeth. The movements have been so repetitious over the years that we now do them without thought. Hey, I even find myself tying my kid's shoes without thought!

In the same way I had to train my resistance muscles in the beginning by saying "No" more often than "Yes." By repeating the exercise of discipline, I have formulated a lifestyle change.

Let's be careful not to confuse this exercise with deprivation. It's okay to have dessert, even if it's a double-decker, chocolate-chip brownie drenched in caramel sauce; but it's best to enjoy such things in moderation rather than daily. My rule of thumb for special treats is once or twice a week. It's good to resist, but let's not get extreme.

I've also trained my thoughts to accept wholesome food as the norm rather than reaching for fast or fried food. Though it wasn't always that way. I was a girl whose mom took her to McDonald's for a quarter pounder and fries before every audition. But the more I consciously made an effort to choose healthier foods, the more I unconsciously became accustomed to them. Now these foods are naturally my first choice.

Exercise is equally important to me as my diet is, but the only reason these changes became a permanent part of my lifestyle is because my thoughts were trained to accept them as
necessary
rather than
optional.

Reason 2: We're Spoiled

The other night I made chicken and salad for dinner—or maybe it was pasta. I don't exactly recall what we all had, but I do remember Maks liking it all a little too much! When Maks likes what he's eating (which is often the case), he just keeps on scooping it in until I notice his sweet little cheeks getting full, and I say, "Maks, honey, you've had enough." It's a good thing I'm there to monitor him since I fear the little guy may one day explode.

After dinner he started in on dessert, taking an apple, followed by a banana, along with high hopes of having yet another apple or two—until I stopped him again. You don't want to be the person behind him at an all-you-can-eat-buffet; trust me on that.

Finally it was time to put the kids into bed. Lev was brushing his teeth, Natasha was reading a book, and Maks was parading around the room tapping on his little round belly.

"Uh, Mom?" he said, finally pausing for breath. "There may be a problem. I think I'm pregnant!"

Lines like that aren't written in Hollywood; they're birthed in those quiet moments we pause long enough to breathe in the wonderful world around us. I had to pause for a breath myself while I stifled a laugh before explaining to him that he wasn't about to give me a grandkid or by the looks of it, two.

I also found it a good time to explain that we don't have to go hog wild when we're eating just because it tastes good. We need to consider what's best for our bodies, when to say, "When." It's my job as a mom to train him until he's equipped to make that decision himself.

In much the same way many untrained adults eat as they please because they aren't trained to consider the result of their actions. They see where their actions have gotten them but don't realize the difference discipline would have made.

One might say something like, "Overeating this once isn't such a big deal. I can eat this, that, and the other; then I'll just get back on track in the morning!" Getting on track is important, but the plan often falls through because we've started allowing sloppy habits to form. I don't let my kids get away with such behavior, so why would I condone it for myself?

Spoiled eaters have never learned to control their appetite and choose to focus on the food instead of their lust for it. Their diet may consist of a day at the trough munching on countless low-cal alternatives instead of seeing the real problem at hand—volume. This line may sound familiar, "I can eat all the carrots and celery sticks that I want!"

My question is, "Why would you eat all the carrots you want? Shouldn't we just eat all the carrots we need?"

Once spoiled eaters tire of the tasteless "all-you-can-squeeze-in" buffet, the high-calorie foods sneak back in one by one. Finally they wonder why diets don't work.

Spoiled eaters seek out quick-fix diets that promise a lot in return for a little.

Reason 3: Lack of Conviction

The unconvicted mind is destined for failure because when the going gets tough—and it will—they don't have a good enough reason to stick to the plan. Unconvicted eaters often find themselves hosting debates in their minds with food as the ultimate prize. They pepper their thoughts with persuasive arguments like, "I'm already thirty-something; maybe it's time I accepted the fact that overweight is okay for me." Or, "I'm doing so much work just so I can be twenty pounds lighter. It's not like I'll be prettier or anything." And, "I have my whole life to take off the weight; why worry about it tonight?"

All of those arguments may be worth consideration, but they should never be considered while in the throes of a late-night craving feast. A little soul searching at the
start
of the journey is a good time to discover the reasons you want to lose weight. I suggest jotting them down on a piece of paper so you can pull them out for a read when you get that sudden urge to bolt. (Better yet, review the list daily as a constant reminder.)

That internal argument is familiar to most of us, but do most of us recognize what it is? It's our flesh and our spirit fighting to lead. Our flesh is ruled by passion and desire, but our spirit is led by wisdom and truth.

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." (Gal. 5:16)

Training my thoughts to yield to the Spirit is an exercise I do minute by minute and will continue to do throughout life. I wasn't always sure which argument it held, but it gets easier to discern over time. Now I understand the consequences of my actions, and I'm led by conviction.

Just last night around 10:00 p.m. my stomach started growling. It had been about three hours since dinner, so in good conscience I could have had a light snack. But knowing that I was going to bed within thirty minutes, I decided to fight my flesh, which desperately wanted a sweet treat, and yield to my spirit that told me, "You don't need a scone right before bed. Wait and have a good breakfast in the morning. You know you'll feel better about it tomorrow."

And you know what? I did feel much better about it this morning. Learn to remind yourself, "If I overeat today, I'll weaken my resistance muscle, which I've worked diligently to build up. I want to finally take the weight off this year, so I'll keep pressing on."

This is an exercise we should apply to all areas of our lives, which I'll also suggest with many of the other lessons in this book. It's my desire that you find freedom through weight loss—no one should be trapped in a body controlled by their appetite—but first and foremost I pray that you find this freedom through faith.

What is your conviction? If you're not sure, it's important that you do a little soul searching to find it. Do you desire to lose a few pounds—to lose a lot more than a few? If you do, then consider the "why?" When we're able to answer that question, we can then apply a solution that works!

The Pantry

CHOCKED-FULL OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The Main Ingredient

There are many wonderful weight-loss plans out there for us to choose from. In fact it's easy to find one that's a fit for our lifestyle and health. The basic plan I suggest is to stop abusing yourself with food, start making healthier choices, and get serious with God. Move more, control your portions, make wise choices, and keep God close by your side. Stick to that plan, and you'll see some results!

A Slice of Advice

Dear Candace,

I read the article about you in the December issue of Us Weekly magazine. What really caught my eye was the amount of weight you have lost since Full House ended! For a small person like you, twenty-two pounds is a lot of weight.

Throughout my adult life my weight has literally been a yo-yo, up one year then down the next. Every time I lose a substantial amount of weight I manage to gain most of it back within about a two-year period; then I have to start all over again. At fifty-two years old I can't keep on doing that all the time.

For whatever reason, I have not been able to maintain my weight once I lose it. I do know what I have to do. My question to you is, how can I maintain this weight loss?

I know that I have to exercise, and I have started walking after dinner. My problem is that once I lose the desired weight, I go back to eating.

Once I treat myself to something, I can't get back on track. I would really appreciate it if you could share some of your secrets. I really need to hear from someone who has had success not only in losing but also in keeping the weight off.

—Michelle

Dear Michelle,

Weight loss is difficult, and keeping it off can be even harder! Obviously, you know how to get it off—diet and exercise. Eating the right foods is key, and staying on top of exercise is equally important. Your changes need to be a way of life. It's okay to have a dessert here and there or a side of fries once in a while, but bringing those foods back into your daily diet will cause you to gain weight back and possibly more, as you already know.

I make sure that if I'm going to indulge in some goodies, I do it moderately, then I'm back to my wholesome diet. I'm conscience of what I put into my mouth every day although I'm not obsessive about it, which can be just as dangerous.

Honestly, because I've been eating healthy, fresh foods for so long, eating things fried or processed make my body feel bad. It may give me a headache or make me feel tired or even sick. I don't like feeling that way, while knowing I can feel better just by the foods I'm eating.

If you know that it's dangerous for you to eat your favorite unhealthy foods just once, then cut them out completely. I know for some people, it's all or nothing. If that's you, then refrain from eating all unhealthy foods. If however, you can exhibit self-control and eat sweets in moderation, I would recommend this method. The latter works for me as denying myself ALL sugar would make me go crazy! I prefer knowing I can have it, but choose not to, except on occasion. That is the exercise of my fruit of the spirit (self-control)!

I encourage you to wisely keep the mental aspect of eating and exercising in line with God's Word.

Renewing your mind each and every day through prayer and reading the Bible can help you get a grip on not going back to your old habits. Commit to keeping your body a holy temple. God can give you the strength to do it. It will shine inside and out when you put the right things into it.

—Candace

A Pinch of Practicality

Read Romans 7 in order to gain a better understanding of Paul's struggle in the flesh. Listen to how he compares it to the freedom found in chapter 8. Paul wrote those chapters so brilliantly, illustrating how one is the solution to the other.