Resisting Fate (Predetermined) (19 page)

I pressed my hand against my own chest, attempting to reign in on the pain that was lingering in there. What he was saying was nothing more than coincidence, that’s all. It had to be.

“That’s what happens if, or when, you’re mated with someone who dies, or breaks the bond.” He scuffed his boot against the ground with his heel, “And now you see, partially, why I don’t want a mate.”

Yeah, I could totally see it, but did I believe it? I don’t know… “Zachary thinks the whole mating thing is the greatest freaking thing since sliced bread, he’s always talked about finding that one person he could be with, be consumed with for life.
I
 couldn’t live through the same thing as my dad. Better yet, I couldn’t let
my mate
live through it. I’ve seen the consequences. I
still
 see them thirteen years later.” He grabbed my knee, squeezing it with his hands. I flinched, but didn’t move away. “Then there’s also the chance that you could fall in love with someone else, Em, but then you wouldn’t be able to be with that person because you’d be forced to be with your so called
mate
.” He spat the word mate out like it tasted bad.

I winced. Damn, why did I suddenly feel so burned?

“Jack, I don’t want the mate thing either,” I whispered, covering his hand with my own. I was talking the talk, but walking the walk was a different story. “I’m nothing but a normal human girl, and…I kind of like it that way.” I turned my face away, a weird sense of unease and loss ran through me at my own refusal.

He tucked his finger under my jaw, pulling my gaze back. “Come on Strawberry, don’t you get it? You don’t have a choice anymore; you’re already a part of our world, whether you want to be or not. And you can’t walk away. You are
meant…
for
a wolf.” His voice trailed off, like the words were too painful to even speak. I bit my lip, had he meant to say
you are meant for me?
“Besides, if you didn’t choose to be with Zachary, then the elders,” he shook his head and dropped his finger from my face, His jaw flexed as he turned away, “…they’d force you be with someone else since you’re already way too involved.”

“Hah! Nobody is going to
 force
 me to do anything…well, at least not without threatening bodily harm.”

He stared back at me once more; his glare basically burned an invisible hole through my grinning face. I swallowed, and lost my smile. Crap. He
was
serious, wasn’t he? I was really starting to hate this whole honesty thing.

“Emmy listen to me…the elders? They are very powerful guys, and have
ways
 of making these things happen, even when you don’t want them too. They’re not afraid to use physical force to do it either.” Jack’s jaw twitched wildly as he turned his face away. “So trust me when I say that
eventually
, you’ll be with a wolf…whether you like it or not.”

I tapped down my sudden urge to scream at him. There was no way I wasn’t going to lose it on him. I mean, it wasn’t his fault completely. Besides I need more answers, not more ultimatums that I could never see myself following through with. There will always be ways to fight the inevitable. Nobody would be forced to do things they physically didn’t want to do, no matter how much bodily harm they could inflict on someone.

“Well let’s drop the whole
mate
thing for now, okay? I’m not in the mood to deal with it. Besides, I need
other
 answers, to other questions…for example…when exactly did you first shift, because I seriously thought you hadn’t done that yet.” I laid it all on the line. There would be no room for him to back down.

Jack stood without an answer, hands flexing at his side. He opened his mouth, but the words came out harsh, like he was fighting to stay calm, to stay in control.

“Emmy I’ve been shifting for over two years now.” He growled out between his gritted teeth. The words were clear enough to send a chill down my spine.

Two years? Really?

He glanced down over his shoulder at me for a second before he moved towards the edge of the cliff side. “I know how to control it better than most, Em. The beast inside me doesn’t want to come out and play, unless something
really
 pisses it off.”

I stood, wiping the brush from my jeans. Thoughts were running crazily through my head as I moved to stand next to him. The only time he’d ever let the animal out, that’d I seen, was when I was in danger with the step-douche a little while before. I turned to face him. He turned too; our bodies were close, but not enough to actually touch. I had to keep a clear head, and if I let myself touch him again, then the adrenaline would take over. And if the adrenaline took over…I couldn’t let myself think about that right now…

 It was obviously not normal that he’d turned so early, I remembered that from what Mrs. Martin had said something about it the night I first saw Zachary shift, but then again, Jack wasn’t normal anyway. Stud muffin hot, an ass wipe, and a control freak maybe, but not
normal
.

“Okay then, so you’re telling me that at the age of fifteen, you became a full-fledged, howl at the moon, hairy from your toes to your nose, wolf? I don’t get it, Jack. I mean, your aunt said that wolves didn’t usually shift for the first time until they got close to
breeding age
, or if some other strong emotion took over, like…love or…something.”

I gripped the edge of my sweater, keeping my suddenly shaking hands out of sight. Crap, how had I not realized this until now? That’s what this is all about, Jack must have fallen in love with someone, but he couldn’t have her because of his stupid wolfy connection to me. Talk about guilt. Jesus, no wonder he hated me so much!

He never answered me, his face stayed emotionless. I tried not to let his inability to answer get to me, but it was difficult because the sudden thought of Jack being in love with someone he couldn’t have, kind of broke my heart, for more than one reason actually.

He cleared his throat, “That’s only one of the possible reasons, but it doesn’t matter anyways. I’m a freak, an anomaly. I’m not a normal shifter, Em.” His odd response was cold, harsh, so much so that I shivered.

 His words were almost calculating too. And then he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me in front of him to face me full on. Disgust was the only emotion in his crystal beautiful blue eyes, and I gasped at his sudden move, all too aware of my vulnerable position.

“I’m…sorry, Jack. I didn’t know.”

“Of course you didn’t know, Strawberry. You don’t know a damn thing about this lifestyle. You didn’t grow up being surrounded by people who grew hair when their emotions got the better of them, or when the moon was full. Shit Strawberry, you don’t have a damn clue.”

He dropped his hands, and then bent over to pick up a rock. He held it between us, sizing it out in his palm before hurling it across the ginormous, open ravine behind me. I couldn’t tear my gaze from his face, and I sure as hell didn’t hear that rock fall, probably due to the fact that we were only God knows how high up. I knew at least, that we were high enough that a person like me would meet an imminent death if they were to fall over the edge.

Abruptly, my heart started accelerating in my chest, demanding escape. My palms started sweating beyond the point of being slippery, while his gaze focused on the endless fall. I found myself slipping away from him, away from the edge. My head apparently had a one way ticket to meet crazy town because Jack surely hadn’t brought me there to throw me over the cliff like that rock, had he?

I pressed my fingers over my lips. No, he didn’t want to kill me because my supposed
presence
was making him experience things that he didn’t want to experience, right? If he wanted me to die, he wouldn’t have rescued me from the step-douche. That had to mean something…

“Are you scared of me, Strawberry?”

I clenched my teeth together and shook my head. He appraised me, starting from my toes all the way up to my head, and then back down again. My hands rubbed feverishly against my jeans, while my toes curled in preparation to run. I didn’t like his eyes going all creepy-like on me.

“Now Strawberry, don’t be scared…” he sighed. A teasing gleam ran wild in his eyes. I swallowed every last drop of saliva in my mouth at the look on his face.

What was it they say about wolves in the books that I read? That they liked to chase after their prey if they ran away from them?

Note to self: Do. Not. Run.

His lips curled up at the ends even higher. It was a smile so bright, yet still so predatory, that it should have been considered illegal.

“I–I’m not scared.” Lying had never felt so easy before. I raised my chin, trying my best to slow the beating of my heart, to calm my rapid breaths. I really hated his wolf senses though, because I knew that he had to have been hearing the struggles I was currently under with my everyday bodily functions.

“You
should
be scared of me though, I’m not nice.”

At his teasing, lighthearted words, and sudden ease of his smile, I finally relaxed, enough so that I could actually smile back at him. Big bad wolf boy may have been joking, but he was also very right too. He was
definitely
not a nice boy…at least in some senses.

“Whatever,” I shrugged, “I still have more questions and you are far from done answering them,” I cleared my throat, attempting, finally to rid the stupid hair brain out of my head. I really did watch too many scary movies. He wasn’t going to throw me over the edge. I was going to be fine. Yes. I would keep telling myself that. Over and over if I had to.

“Ask away then.” He swung one of his arms out to the side, while his other one was tucked comfortably in his pocket.

My focus was inadvertently drawn to his waistband, and to his holy shit lines that sat accordingly, right above his low-slung jeans. Hipbones really were sexier on a guy, especially when they protruded like his did. He was my walking sex-on-an-animal-stick. I blinked rapidly, trying not to stare too long at the lines of his stomach, but Jesus, if he didn’t get a shirt on soon, I was going to…to…ah, hell, I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do first. Whatever it was, it would involve chocolate and my mouth, and
both
of those hipbones.

I moved back towards the rock shivering with need and unease as I sat down with a hurtful thump of my butt. My toe caught some loose dirt and brush and the landing was not comfortable. I cringed, crap, that was going to leave a mark, but at least the pain got my naughty thoughts under control. I rubbed the spot on my rear, trying to be as nonchalant about it as I could, but unfortunately Jack and his hidden injury radar must have turned on, because he was there in front of me, lightning speed and on his knees, before I could take another breath.

“You’re hurting…”

“I’m fine,” I was
so
not fine.

“No, you’re
not
 fine. Your ass hurts, your head, and your chest hurts, doesn’t it?” My mouth dropped open, my eyebrows knitted together in confusion. And he still continued to stare down at me with a disturbing sort of frown.

“How did you—”

“Don’t ask that.”

“And why not?” I stiffened, pulling away, “There was no possible way that you could have known that my chest and head had issues.” My lips pressed into a tight line. He turned serious as he stared back at me. Wow, could he really experience my pain then? What the hell was next?

“What Jack? What is it! You better God damn tell me before I whip out my silver and stab you in the heart.”

I reached into my pocket to grab absolutely nothing of course, as I pushed him away with my other hand. He fell onto his butt as I stood up. Instead of giving me what I wanted and backing away, he only gave me what I didn’t want by grabbing onto my hands as he stood. He pulled me flush with his front, and I gasped as he pushed my hands against his chest. He was holding them there, like prisoners, as he lowered his cheek to press against mine.

My entire being shuddered at the sudden intimacy of the move. Well fudgeroony, now what in the hell was I going do?

His breath was warm on my face as he spoke. The corner of his mouth curled up against my cheek, as if he was smiling. Most likely he was laughing at me again, “Silver doesn’t kill us Strawberry…” he paused, lowering his hands from mine, to press them against my waist. “People kill us…”