Resisting Fate (Predetermined) (21 page)

Had Kelsey hurt him? Did her witch powers mess him up so badly that he was lying in a ditch somewhere, struggling to stay alive?

“Zachary’s fine. He’s probably back at school, training and shit.”

 Good. As much as Zachary bothered me anymore, I still didn’t want to see him get hurt.

Jack sauntered up to me again, pulling me into a lose hug. “I know that you love Zachary still, and I know you have feelings for me too. That’s why it’s better if we stay away from each other from now on. You were Zachary’s first, fair and square. I was an idiot to think otherwise. And believe me when I say I tried.”

I stiffened, leaning my head back to look up at his face. “I don’t love him anymore…”

He blinked, staring down at me. I held his stare, unable to move, sucked in completely like always.

“It wasn’t his fault that he had to go train! He had to get his wolf under control, that way he could be with you. Take care of you!”

I groaned, and shook my head. “I don’t need to be taken care of, and I don’t want…him!” I bit my tongue, the words…they were so close to falling out of my mouth, that they’d scared me silent.

“Please…
he’s
what you need…”

I loosened my tongue; he apparently wasn’t taking the hint. It was time to declare what needed to be declared, even if in the end, the outcome wasn’t what I wanted. “Are you really that stupid Jack? I don’t want Zachary, because I want you!
Only you
!”

He stared down at me, several emotions played over his face until the one that was most important seemed to click. That’s when he paled and his jaw tensed. I gnawed away at my lower lip. Yep. He got it.

“Emmy…” his voice was desperate, here came the goodbye, I knew it. I braced myself, gripping my hands to my stomach to keep the churning and twisting to a minimum. Damn him, I didn’t want to say goodbye yet.

My heart lurched into my throat at the thought of losing Jack. And not only as a kissing partner, a mate, or whatever the hell we’d become. Mostly, the thought of losing him as a friend terrified me more than anything. He reached down to cup my face with one of his hands. I leaned into it, needing our connection to keep me rooted and prepared for his inevitable rejection.

“The elders already made their decision, Em. And Zachary is smarter, more powerful too. Zachary’s an advocate for the wolves. He’ll make the better alpha, and he’ll be the better mate for you too.” He sounded almost as if he was trying to convince himself, and not just me. I knew what
I
wanted. There’d be no need to convince me.

“I don’t care about alphas, or pack crap. I care about being seventeen, a senior in high school, and about being with the guy that I’ve come to care about…”
maybe even love…
I swallowed those words. He’d be totally freaked out if I told him the truth.

He shook his head, his face was so sad that it tore me up from the inside out.

I could finally see it, see what had probably always probably been there in Jack, but was never shown due to the fact that he hid it behind his leather jacket, his motorcycle, and his bad ass wannabe attitude. Jack Hartman had zero confidence in himself. Why though was that? Was it because of his father’s issues of losing his own mate? Or did something else in the past make him that way?

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. They shook, but only a little. “When I first saw you in the store looking so damn beautiful and flustered in your work overalls, I decided that I couldn’t keep away from you.”

My cheeks heated at his words, remembering that moment myself. I should have realized that the terror that plagued me that day was actually the normal reaction I had from being near him. Hell, I looked forward to that feeling now. Weirdly, it had become like the highlight of my days,

“Then my
uncle
had to go and remind me of that challenge two years ago, so I’ve been fighting like hell to hold to that promise. Unfortunately, I’ve never been much of a rule follower.”

Sweet Jesus, he wasn’t telling me goodbye after all. Hope blossomed in my chest. I still didn’t fully grab it yet. He wasn’t done. I’d get my chance, I’d have to bide my time for a few more minutes. His eyes heated up and his lips stretched apart showing me that mostly nonexistent dimple. I wanted to tuck my finger in it, maybe use that chocolate I had on reserve for his oh-shit hip lines to stick in there and then lick them off again. Yes, he really was Jack-the-lickable.

 ”After a lot of thinking, I decided that I’d keep my distance from you as promised. Well,
mostly.
I couldn’t help some things. Like, I’ve been um, kind of watching you, almost every day and night since I’ve been back in town.”

Um, what? Another stalker? I bit my lip, stopping any and all retorts from slipping from my mouth. I couldn’t fault him for being protective I guess, it was probably instinctual for him and his, uh…wolf. Then I almost laughed because really, he had become my sort of knight, riding in on a black Harley, instead of his white horse.

His voice turned bitter, even suddenly disgusted as he glared at something from behind me. “Things changed when Zachary came to your house yesterday, and I got worried, especially after everything that had happened the other night. So when Kelsey called me–”

“Wait, wait, wait…Kelsey? She
called
you?” I stared up at him accusingly, something close to jealousy reared inside of me.

I wasn’t the jealous type, but hearing my best friend’s name fall from his mouth so easily pushed a little unknown button inside my chest. A button connected to both jealousy and betrayal. I should have known my meddling best friend was involved in all of this.

“Yes, she called me because she could sense something was wrong. It’s one of her witch things. So I made her stay around your house to wait, since I couldn’t be there myself.”

“Made her? What do you mean you made
 her? S
he’s not a damn child, Jack.
”

“No smart ass, I know she’s not a
child. S
he’s sort of like my assistant, I guess you could say.” His hands hung in the air as if he wanted to touch me, but I was completely
not
okay with this new development, so there would be no Jack touches to make it okay yet.

“Assistant as in…?” I tapped my toe, impatiently waiting.

“She’s my Witch; we work together, to keep you safe. We’ve
been
 working together since I left town to go live with my dad after my first shift…and after the challenge.”

“You mean to tell me, that you and Kelsey have been communicating all this time, about me…behind my back? What the hell Jack? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me this shit?”

“We had to keep it a secret Emmy, in order to keep you safe. And you weren’t allowed to know the truth about us until Zachary actually began the mating process with you. So since you were technically still mine until the mating started, I felt a need to protect you somehow until Zachary was able to protect you on his own.”

He frowned, his eyebrows pulled together. My emotional betrayal didn’t pass, but annoyance and curiosity only joined it, heightening my already confused emotions. Now I was second-guessing everything and everyone. How could I care for people who so obviously always lied to me?

I pulled my arms tight against my chest, attempting to appear strong, even though I knew I was becoming anything but. “I was a stupid fifteen year old girl back then, Jack. Who would want to hurt me? Well, besides the step-douche of course.” I shrugged, trying hard to forget the many nights I’d lay awake listening to the asshole beat on my mom, wondering when and if he’d come and wail on me next.

“Yes your stepfather was part of the reason, but I thought Zachary could handle
that
 part of the protection order. He didn’t know about the um, other problem.”

“And what might this other
 problem
be Jack? Because nothing’s changed, it’s still me and that step freak of mine. Nothing else is threatening me, besides maybe this cold I’m about to catch from standing in the rain.” I threw my arms up in the air to prove my point as the rain began to sprinkle down around us.

A chill wrapped around me as the cold drops increased. They dripped down the neck of my sweater and slithered their way down onto my skin. I moved my hands along my upper arms in an attempt to warm up, but otherwise I didn’t move.

“Well here’s the thing, Em. I’ve got another secret,” he warned his face hardening as the water dripped down his cheeks, “… one that only my uncle, my aunt, and Kelsey know about.”

“One that you, my witchy
best friend,
and the people who were supposed to be like parents to me, felt the need to keep for over two years?” I snapped. Yes, I was a little bit bitter-filled.

“Yes, Emmy,” His face pulled into a grimace; his lips were pressed together to the point of being white. The rain increased, but still, we stood there, face-to-face, toe to toe. He sighed as his eyes shut. Three lingering deep breaths exited his lips before he spoke. “We were protecting you from my father.”

I scoffed, what the hell was he talking about? What would Jack’s father want with me? My face scrunched up even more in confusion as I took in his stone cold expression. I moved forward. I wanted to do something to him. Hit him? Hug him? Lick the water from his bare chest with my mouth?

Focus here Em!

“Your father Emmy…he killed my mother.”

Chapter Fourteen

The drive back to the Martin house was miserable, to say the least. Not because of the tension present between Jack and me after he’d shared his last little tidbit of horrible news, but also due to the fact that the icy rain had soaked us completely.

So…Harley Davidson bikes? Not too hot and sexy after all. Jack on the other hand, seemed completely un-phased with the thousands of ice-like pellets that had crashed against his bare chest.

Pulling up to the front of the Martin’s house, I froze on the back seat, despite the cold, and despite the fact that Jack had already slipped off. I blinked as I stared up at the large white house with the surrounding lake. Sadly the place I once considered a second home, no longer seemed as welcoming as it once was. Maybe it was due to the fact that every moment I spent here was surrounded by lies

“Take me home please Jack.” I studied his downturned face. Tiny droplets of tears formed in the corners of my eyes, but I held them back, sniffling, determined to not let them fall. I wasn’t going to lose it. I was good, even though I really wasn’t.

Jack sighed, and nodded as he spoke, “You’re right…it’d be better that way. Let’s take my aunt’s car.” He cupped my face and smiled sadly. “You’re freezing.”

I nodded my reply, wrapping my arms around my body as Jack ushered me off the bike. His hand lingered over my backside, rubbing slow, brisk circles as we made our way to the car. I let him, I reveled in his touch, even though I knew wouldn’t last much longer now. Damn, why’d I have to go and get attached?

It took every ounce of strength and resolve that I had in me to keep my gaze from his face. He didn’t need to see how torn up I really was about everything I’d learned. I was fated to be with a guy, to whom I was partially mated to, while another mating candidate who was not my
true mate
was MIA at a wolf training school. Oh, and I couldn’t forget that my father supposedly killed his mother either.

When we finally approached my house a short time later, he parked us along the curbside, but didn’t bother to shut off the car. I hovered close to the door, with my hand on the handle and my elbow on the windowsill, because his nearness was all-too consuming anymore. I had to break myself from him, and I had to do it quickly, because I was falling hard, I was falling fast. And his nearness was far too addicting to love one minute, and dispose of the next. At least now though, I really knew
why
he was here in Louisa.

Jack reached over and caressed my forearm with the tips of his fingers. I jumped as the electricity shot through my skin, biting my lip as I stared up at him. I struggled with my words, trying to find the right ones, but failing terribly. An apology would never be enough.

“Your stepfather won’t be coming back Emmy, I promise, at least not for a while. When Adrian took him away, he took him out of the state. He’s probably out on the side of the road somewhere in the middle of Nevada with a killer headache, and no memory of ever being attacked.”

I focused on his face fully with my questioning eyes and he shrugged at my non-existent question. “It’s a warlock thing Em.”

He held tight to my arm, lowering his fingers until they interlocked with mine. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I glanced down at our hands; they were perfectly fitted together, like they were meant to be merged. Like
we
truly were meant to be together…

I nodded, blinking away my sadness. “Emmy, hey, I don’t hate you…just so you know. In fact I really…care about you.” He blew out a breath and I brought my gaze up to study him. Those ever present warm tingles danced through my chest at his confession, but I would never hold him to his words. He may have really cared about me as he claimed, but the mating thing, a relationship even, wasn’t going to happen between us. So what was the use in making my heart hurt any more than it already did by believing in his words? Not only that, but I was also the daughter of the murderer who ruined his father’s life, along with little Jack and Adrian’s childhood as well. I couldn’t forget that. I hated my father, so much, and I didn’t even remember him.

We definitely shouldn’t be together. No. We were not good, venomous and poison and all things bad apparently. Jack and I would never be fated as nature intended us to be.

“Thank you, for bringing me home Jack. I need to go now.” He gripped my hand harder, not to the point where it hurt, but to the point where he seemed almost desperate to keep me there. I knew of that desperation.

I leaned my head back, resting my cheek against the headrest. Waiting for him to speak was far worse than him actually speaking anymore. “No. Please Em, you can’t go yet. I need to tell you why I came back to Louisa. You need to understand everything. You may think you know it all, but you really don’t.”

“You don’t need to tell me anything more, I get it. You came back to hurt me like my dad hurt you and your family. I’m sorry he was such a horrible person and I’m sorry he hurt you guys like he did. And you should be happy to know that I finally understand why you hate me so much.” He started to talk, his eyes narrowed, but I held my hand palm up in front of his face, it was my turn to speak. My rambling words were coming out in mad rush. I had to get them out. And I had to do it soon; otherwise they would never come…ever. “And I don’t blame you for it, and if I would’ve known, then I would never have gotten involved with Zachary, or you, or anyone in your family to begin with.”

I broke our hands apart, wiping the wetness that had managed to drip onto my cheeks. I tucked them between my knees a second later, and leaned forward. The sound of his hands smacking the steering wheel made me jump.

Apparently I’d done and pissed him off again…big time.

“God dammit, Emmy, I don’t hate you! How many times do I have to tell you this? And you have no reason to apologize to me either. My mother’s death was not your fault. It was an accident, nothing more, got it?”

His breathing went ragged as he practically climbed from his seat to get closer to me. I shook my head, cringing away from him as a soft cry exited my mouth. I couldn’t let him touch me, if he did, even through the wetness of my sweater, I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk away like I needed to.

“Don’t shy away from me, Strawberry, I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.” His voice gentled, his posture relaxed, and he released a deep breath as he seemingly tried to take control of his emotions. “I didn’t come back to Louisa to help out with the Martin’s business.” He stilled, his hand hung over my arm, but seconds later he dropped in onto his lap. “I came back because I was scared for you, worried about you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “When I heard about Zachary’s early shift, I knew it was my job to come back and watch over you. Not the Martin’s job. Not Kelsey’s either. You are
my
responsibility.”

I stiffened, “I can take care of myself, you know.” There I was nothing but one big, fat burden again.

“I know you can Strawberry, but you don’t know my dad either. Nor did you know what he was capable of.” I shook my head, but I didn’t reply. There was no point. He’d try to convince me otherwise.

My hand still hovered over the door handle, and I eagerly awaited my perfect moment of escape. But Jack didn’t stop talking. It was like he was letting everything out; his once secret walls were finally crumbling completely. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in what else he had to say.

“I told my dad I was moving away to stay with Adrian in a neighboring town. I didn’t tell him I was coming back to Louisa to be close to you. If he knew you were here, he’d lose it and demand that I hurt you, or worse yet, he’d come after you and hurt you himself. He’s out for revenge, Emmy. And he doesn’t care who he takes it out on.”

Okay, so Jack’s dad was a mental case who apparently wanted to either kick my ass, or maybe kill me instead.
Fan-freaking-tastic
.

He shook his head, glaring out the window. Unfortunately for me, I was now officially nearing that freak-out mode again. “Shit Jack, if he really did want to hurt me, then I’ve got to be prepared, I’ve got to tell my mom! Maybe it’d be better if we left this town altogether! I couldn’t handle it if he went after Jamie…” Frantically, I pulled at the door handle, flinging it open without stopping to close it behind me. Jack’s desperate pleas behind me were ridiculously loud, but still, I ignored them. The only thing I could focus on was finding my family and keeping them safe.

“Stop…Emmy! You’re fine!”

The rain poured down over my already drenched head in sheets, and my hands shook and slipped as I attempted to pull the door open. I cursed loudly when I found it locked, slapping my palm over the wood. Vaguely, I was aware of Jack coming up behind me, splashing through the puddles and wet grass to get to my side. It only left me more frantic as I dug around in my purse for the keys. My head was pulsating, and my heart raced. My body shivered so badly that I probably looked like a walking seizure.

“Damn you’re stubborn!” Jack spit out as he spun me around to face him, pushing me back against the door. I gasped, throwing my hands behind me as he narrowed the distance between our faces.

Our chests were touching, raising and falling together. There was never a moment in my life when I’d felt more alive and so out of control at the same time than I did right then and there. “Will you stop and listen to me, Em? My
father
is
not
coming here.”

I sucked in a breath as water dripped from his cheeks onto my own. His breath was warm and sweet, only millimeters from my mouth. A tiny whimper escaped from my throat as his lips angled over mine. Our eyes connected, never once breaking. I fought the urge to assault his mouth with my own, it was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life.

“He doesn’t know you’re here Em. My aunt and uncle, they know everything that’s happened in the past,” I paused, trying to sort everything out, while still trying to keep my mind off the fullness of his mouth.

It was almost too much to deal with, “They’ve been trying to keep you safe too, Emmy, like I’ve been trying to do the same thing. So they told my dad that you, your mom, step dad, and Jamie all moved out of town a little over two years ago when my father caught word that you guys might still be here.”

I swallowed, my heartbeat tripled in my chest. All of their lies, their secrets…it was too much to handle, and if I didn’t separate myself soon, then the guilt I felt for something I didn’t even cause, was only going to make me go postal.

“How did he figure it all out, Jack? I mean…how did he know I was the daughter of the man who killed your mom?” I fought for control, digging my fingers into my hair, trying to make sense of it all.

He backed away, but only to the point where I didn’t have to crane my neck back to look at him. Obviously now that he had my attention, he didn’t feel the need to be all up in my grill. I exhaled, thankful for the break in the intenseness. It was too bad that my traitorous chest felt alone at his absence.

“He knew that your dad was the one to ran over my mom that night because your dad actually came clean the next day at the county’s pack meeting. He told the elders and the other wolf council members that it was all an accident. Apparently he’d fallen asleep at the wheel on his way home from working a job. And then word got out, and found its way to my dad. He was so out of it, that he threatened everyone, telling people that he wouldn’t rest until the man who murdered his wife suffered through pain like he had. Luckily he didn’t get that chance because you were all put under the pack’s protection right away.”

“A
job
? What do you mean
a job? M
y dad sold insurance for a living, Jack.”

“No, Em, he didn’t
sell insurance
. He worked for the wolves as what they called a dreaming liaison; a go between for the rival packs in the state. Uncle Alan told me he was like the pack’s peace keeper and he had these abilities, Emmy.”

No. No way. My father was a normal guy. I didn’t remember much of about him, but you’d think I would have known. He wasn’t like them. He wasn’t a wolf. I would have remembered that. And he certainly wasn’t a warlock either… So what was he then? And did that mean I was like him too? I blinked, trying to make sense of this all, trying to figure out the unthinkable. It was so hard because I didn’t want to believe. I wanted to think rainbows and hearts and flowers about my dad, even though he basically abandoned us when I was a little girl, which was a whole issue in itself.