Resolution (Heart of Stone) (30 page)

He smiled
slyly and nodded again, “Does that mean me and Greg can spend the morning with
him?”

I smirked.
“Be my guest but he’s mine, you understand me Sam?”

Both Greg
and Sam turned their eyes to me. “Abso-Fucking-lutely” they said together
simultaneously and for the first time all day I genuinely laughed.

I sat in the
chair in the corner of the room and watched Mason slowly wake. His hair had
that just fucked look and the sheet had fallen around his hips giving me a
glorious view of his hard chest and stomach.

He still
took my breath away when I saw him, even after being together for nearly two
years. He still made my arousal surge with a simple twitch of his lips or the
way he would look at me like he wanted to devour me and I knew he felt exactly
the same when I looked at him.

But my heart
also swelled at his sense of humour, his carefree spirit and his compassion or
the way he would risk his life for me and his children and the way he would
drag me from the depths of my despair when my mood was black and desolate.

It was
simple… I loved him and I would die for him.

He stirred
again and his eyes flicked open as he squinted against the sunlight in the
room. He shot upwards when he saw me. “Ava…”

I kept my
face blank as I regarded him, still unsure how to deal with his latest betrayal
but I knew we had bigger things to sort out first.

“We got him”
I stated simply and he frowned and then his eyes widened.

“Dane?”

I nodded,
still expressionless and he frowned again. “Baby, I…”

I held up my
hand and stood up. “Take a shower” I said and then left the room.

I hugged the
warmth of the coffee cup, my cold hands appreciating its medicinal effect on
the numbness in my fingers. I was apprehensive of what I had to face, knowing I
didn’t have the ability to torture anybody in me, even though Dane had took
great delight in bringing me to my knees, painfully and agonisingly.

I kept my
gaze on the curdled sludge that had developed in my cup when Mason entered the
kitchen and dropped into a chair beside me.

“Ava…” he said
softly as he shrouded my hand with his.

I pulled it
away briskly, “Not now, we need to figure out what’s happening with Dane” I
said as I slid from my chair and went to the window.

“I think
we’re more important than Dane right now” Mason grumbled and I laughed bitterly
and spun round, holding him with my icy glare.

“Pity you
didn’t realise that last night when you had your tongue down your fuck whores
throat” I spat and shook my head in warning when he stood up, “Not - Now.”

Even I was
surprised by the malice in my tone and Mason froze for a second. I was in bitch
mode and right now I needed her to take over, I needed her lack of humility and
conscience. She would be what got me through the next few hours.

 “You
ready?” I asked and he narrowed his eyes on me, studying my eyes and searching
their depths for any sign of Ava; but she had been pushed away for the upcoming
undertaking.

He stalked
over to me slowly and cocked his head, his eyes dark and questioning as he
leant into me and placed each of his hands on the counter beside me, encasing
me in his huge frame as his eyes penetrated mine.

“Where are
you?” he asked with narrowed eyes and I wasn’t sure if he was asking the
question to me or himself.

I placed my
hands on his firm chest and pushed but he didn’t shift. “I said not now, Mason.”
He didn’t move, just continued to pin me down with his stare. “Mason, don’t do
this. I am so fucking pissed at you at the moment and you are just making it
ten times worse” I told him angrily.

He cupped my
chin and tilted my head back and I squirmed under his intensity. “You need to
be
you
to do this Ava, otherwise I will take all authority and do it
myself” he said bluntly and I looked away, knowing I couldn’t do it without my
inner bitch; I sucked on my lips and sighed.

“And how
many fucking atrocities have you dealt with when you were high and definitely
not yourself” I spat. “One being your fuck whore.”

He hissed
through his teeth and his grip tightened on my chin. “That’s it, you’re done.
I’ll deal with Dane” he pushed off the counter and turned around.

“What the
fuck Mason?” I spluttered out, my anger flying high and strong as I stomped
over to him and grabbed his arm, spinning him round. “Don’t fucking do this to
me Mason, I have waited too long to end these damn nightmares. Don’t take that
away from me” I exploded and he pushed me up against the wall as he shrouded me
again.

“But that’s
just it Ava, being detached from doing this will not end your nightmares
because your brain won’t register anything that happens tonight. It will all
become a blur that you won’t have any clear recollections of. You need to be
open and focussed, otherwise things will go wrong and it will be a waste of
fucking time you doing this” he practically growled at me and I was furious at
him.

“Do you know
how they caught Dane, Mason? Eh, do you?” I raged. “I came fucking looking for
you and the bastard tailed me and chased me through half of fucking London,
while I was going out of my mind worrying about you. But while I was
unfocussed
and
closed off
and full of thoughts of just how much crap you were
sticking up your nose, I nailed the bastard! Yes! Mason…
ME
!” I
emphasised by poking myself in the chest.

“I fucking
drove him into Harriet Greaves Lake. So don’t you dare assume what I can and
can’t fucking do when my mind is elsewhere!” I pushed him, my fury giving me
the strength to move his hard and heavy body.

He was
gaping at me, “What?” His tone was dull and stunned and I shook my head in
sadness.

“You told me
to tell you how I was feeling Mason, you told me to tell you exactly what was
on my mind and when I do you can’t handle it and go lose yourself in either
drugs, booze or
HER!…
Every fucking time and I have to leave our
children in the middle of the night and come looking for you, crippled with
worry and frightened to death what I am gonna find you like and I find you with
your tongue stuck in her fucking gaping hole… every single fucking time!” I
declared with both sadness and anger.

 “Tell me
Mason, tell me what the attraction is with her because I’m really struggling to
see exactly what it is. Do you love her? ” I asked, bracing myself for his
answer, still unsure after nearly two years exactly what he felt for her.
“Because if you do, tell me now before you completely crush me and I can walk
out of that door and give you all the permission you need!”

He was stood
gobsmacked, staring at me. “No, I don’t fucking love her!” he bellowed as he
took a step closer to me and grabbed my arms. “How many fucking times Ava? I DO
NOT LOVE REBECCA; I LOVE YOU AND ONLY YOU!” His grip was tight and his red
furious face was a mere inch from mine.

 “Then why
do you keep going back to her?” I asked quietly and his eyes flashed with an
emotion I couldn’t read but he loosened his grip and dropped his hands by his
side.

“Because
she’s easy when I need it” he confessed as he closed his eyes and I gasped as
tears stung my eyes.

My hand
lifted of its own accord and I had slapped him harshly before I had even
realised I’d done it.

 I shook my
head in despair. “Is she another of your addictions, Mason?” I asked spitefully.

“It’s not
like that Ava, but she’s always there when I wanna get obliterated or high.
She’s the one that… that understands what I go through.”

I choked on
a sob, the truth he felt to his words sliced my heart in two and I took a step
into him.

 “So where
was she when you went through withdrawal Mason? Eh? Was she the one that
understood
when you raped and pinned her up against a wall and just fucking took it
because it was what you needed? Eh?” I slammed a finger into his chest.

“Was she the
one that
understood
and sat for twelve fucking hours talking to you,
trying to get you through the sickness and bowel explosions, tell me Mason,
where was her understanding then? Eh?” I pushed him this time.

“Where was
she when the tremors and sweats racked your fucking body? Was she the one
rinsing the fucking towel every ten minutes to keep you cool? Wiping the tears
away endlessly whilst you didn’t realise she was sobbing as she did it? Was she
the one that held you hour after hour as pain tore through you? Was it her
fucking arms and thighs that you bruised and fractured in your death grip
against the pain?”

I slammed my
fist into his chest. “And was she the one that broke and shattered in there
with you? Was she the one that cried herself to sleep with the guilt of your
withdrawal, night after night after night? Was she Mason…? TELL ME?” I screamed
as I erupted at him and knocked him sideways with my wrath as he squinted
against the pain I was unleashing on him.

His arms
came up to protect his head as I laid into him, fist after fist after fist, my
heart and mind finally breaking under the destruction and devastation he laid
onto me time and time again.

I was pulled
back by two pairs of firm hands gripping my arms and I struggled to free myself
but when I realised they weren’t going to relent I spat at him, straight into
his face. “In future when you get a fucking craving go and find her, I’m sure
she’s more
understanding
than I have ever been! Now do you
understand
ME?”

He turned
his head to me and I was inwardly pleased at the bloody split across his nose
and the blood that trickled from his eyebrow.

I wanted him
to hurt; I wanted the pain to tear him in two like it was me. I wanted his
whole world to end like mine had when he uttered that one sentence.

“Ava,
sweetheart, calm down” Greg said behind me but I kicked out at Mason.

“Get me away
from him before I fucking kill him” I cried and I saw Mason’s pained and
remorseful eyes getting further away as Greg and Sam pulled me from the room
whilst I struggled and kicked against them, my devastation and heartbreak vocal
now the strangled cries erupted from my throat and I slumped against them.

They dragged
me over to the sofa and Greg huddled me up, holding me tightly against his
chest as inhumane sounds broke from my lungs and heavy sobs racked my body.

I heard him
say something to Sam but I had zoned out and I curled into a ball on Greg’s
lap, folding my arms over my head trying to block out the world and retreat
into my own little bubble.

Greg rocked
me back and forwards until I felt myself being lifted into another set of
familiar arms and I broke down, completely and utterly let my mind and body
release the pressure as I screamed and clawed at Nate; Mason’s betrayal and
complete disregard for what I had gone through, in the garage with him, putting
my heart and soul on the line for him.

Nate’s
shushes in my ear got louder as I calmed down and I was aware of his strong
hold on me. My mind cleared and I abruptly stopped crying and sat up.

“Enough” I
said simply and he nodded grimly as he scooped me up and carried me into the
bedroom, where he gently lay me down and pulling my case from the wardrobe, he
packed for me.

I sat watching
him in detachment and surrealism. I knew now that I could never be with Mason,
could never have a straightforward relationship with him. I would always love
him but there wasn’t any of my heart left to give him. He had shattered and
pulverised every single part of it and there was nothing left to give him.

Nate’s
worried glances made me smile softly at him. “I’m okay” I assured him as I
stood and approached him. “There’s something I need to do before we go, are you
okay packing George and Katie’s things?” I asked and he palmed my cheek and
nodded, knowing what I had to do.

“Do you want
me to take them back to the cottage and meet you there?” he asked gently and I
nodded, smiling softly as I turned away and walked to the door.

 “Ava,” Nate
choked out behind me and I turned round to him. He stood silent, his eyes deep
and anguished but then he just gave me a nod of his head.

“I know” I
whispered.

Taking a
deep breath, I descended the stairs and found Greg and Sam in the lounge.

“I’m ready”
I said simply and they took a breath each and stood up. Greg held his hand out
to me as he approached and I placed my hand in his, his fingers curled around
mine immediately.

“Let’s do
this” he said softly as he kissed my head and as we walked through the entrance
hall Mason was stood by the front door waiting.

His eyes
found mine and he held them as I got nearer. “I don’t need you there” I said
flatly and frankly. He swallowed heavily but nodded, taking a step to the side
and letting us pass.

Greg’s hand
squeezed mine as Sam opened the door. “Ava…” Mason choked out as I took a step
over the doorway.

I turned
calmly to look at him and the anguish and sorrow displayed back at me reflected
mine but I shook my head at him. “There’s nothing left Mason. There’s nothing
left for you to destroy. You’ll always own my heart Mason, because you hold the
pieces in your clenched fist. Don’t let the dust slip through your fingers” I
told him honestly as I slipped my engagement ring off and placed it delicately
on the table.