Restoring Grace (64 page)

‘I don't think we mind what sort of baby it
is,' he said. 'As long as it's healthy. Isn't that right, Ellie?’

Ellie nodded. She couldn't speak and she didn't
think
she could move. She was glad to stay
where she was
while the scan was finished and the pictures taken, so she
could sort out her emotions a little.

At last, Ellie was allowed off the couch so she
could totter to the loo. When she came out, Ran was holding a grainy picture of
what was obviously a baby.

‘Do you need to sit down or anything? You don't
look terribly well.' He put his hand on Ellie's shoulder.

‘I'm fine.' She tried to think of something
flippant to say, but couldn't.
'I
just want to go.'

‘
Come on, then.' He put his arm round her
shoulder and walked her to the door.

Once in the car, Ellie
felt better. There wasn't anything
wrong with the baby, and they had
pictures to prove it. Now she should thank Ran for being so supportive.

‘
Ran.' She
wanted to put her hand on his sleeve but
felt suddenly shy and she found her hand patting the air.
'I just want to say . . .' She faltered. At that
moment
the words 'thank you' seemed incredibly difficult to pronounce.

‘What is it?' He was very gentle and it made
her even more shy. She needed him to be acerbic and sarcastic, then she'd be
fine.

‘Nothing. I just wanted to say, thanks for
being there.'
She didn't comment on his
squeamishness - he might not
want to admit to it, but it made her even
more grateful.

He didn't answer
immediately, then he said, 'That's
OK. You needed
someone around to look after you, make
you
drunk . .

Ellie laughed, all the
tension of the past hour dissi
pated. Somehow, she wasn't exactly
sure how, Ran had made everything fine.

‘
Now come on,' he said. 'It's lunchtime.’

*

'I can't believe that's my
baby,' said Ellie, when they were
settled in a pub half an hour later,
inspecting the photograph instead of the menu.

‘Could you just concentrate on what you might
like to eat?'

‘
Oh, I don't know!' It didn't seem important
compared
to everything that had happened that
morning.
'Just think, or I'll decide for you.’

Ellie looked up at him.
'Really, Ran. Thank you. I don't
know what I'd have done when - when
Suzanne had to go for re-enforcements - if I'd been there on my own.'

‘I couldn't have let you go through that on
your own.' He stated it as a fact, yet there was a tenderness in his eyes which
moved her.

‘But you didn't know beforehand that there was
going to be a problem. It all might have been perfectly straightforward, and
without you—'

‘I wouldn't have taken the chance. I'd never have
let you go alone. Now, what would you like to drink?' He
obviously didn't want her to thank him any more.
He had shown a side of him she wouldn't have predicted - tender,
paternal,
protective - and she smiled, tentatively. She didn't want to spoil the moment;
it would be a fleeting
thing and there was
no point in trying to catch butterflies.

‘
Tomato
juice,' she said eventually, 'it's practically a solid food.'

‘And then I think you should have a steak,
something body building. You're eating for two, you know.'

‘Yes, and one of them's the size of a hamster.
A fact you've seen for yourself.'

‘Nonsense. You need to eat properly. You can
have a baked potato instead of chips.’

Something stirred in
Ellie that was not the baby. It was
a little
hamster-sized feeling of hope. 'Yes, Ran,' she said
meekly,
not feeling meek at all.

He got up and looked at
her for a few seconds before
he went to the bar.

‘
I'd better
ring Grace later and see when the house will
be habitable again,' Ellie said when he'd come back to
the table
with the drinks.

‘Well, make sure it's really habitable. It
can't be good for you living in a house that's freezing cold and has no
furniture.'

‘
Ran, people
were pregnant and had babies before there
were houses, on wagon trains,
in tents. I'm a fit young woman, I'll be fine.' Although she was protesting,
inside she loved the fact he was fussing.

‘
But there's
no point in suffering unnecessarily. Are you
finding the futon
comfortable?'

‘
Sort of,' said Ellie, after a moment's thought.
It could have been an opportunity, but she didn't know how to make the most of
it.

‘Only sort
of? I'll see what I can do to improve things when we get back.'

‘
Fine.' Ellie thought that she would see what she
could
do to improve things, too.

‘Shall we
go, then?'

‘I'll just pop
to the loo.’

*

Ran made Ellie lie down
on the sofa when they got back.
'But I've got to ring Grace,' she
protested as he covered her with a rug.

‘
I'll do it.
I think you should rest. Then we'll have a
look at the futon.’

Ellie sighed and closed
her eyes. Surely there would be
an opportunity later to redirect
Ran's caring for her as a
pregnant woman
into something a little less Madonna
like while they were fiddling about
with what amounted to a double bed.

‘I spoke to Flynn,' said Ran, just as Ellie had
dropped
off. 'He says Luckenham House won't
be habitable for at
least a week. In fact, he's going to try and keep
Grace with him until the house is properly done up.'

‘Oh. That's a bit of a surprise. I mean Grace -
I can't see Grace being willing—'

‘What?'

‘Well, I can't imagine her staying with Flynn
until
Luckenham House is decorated unless—'
She cleared her
throat, embarrassed.
'Well, you know, she and Flynn are
- close.'

‘
Well,
close or not, you're not going to want to be there
by yourself, and even if you did, I wouldn't be
happy
about it.’

This snippet made Ellie very happy, but she
didn't let on. 'Well, I won't be there by myself. Demi will be there
too.'

‘
I wouldn't consider Demi, who I am sure is a lovely
girl, a
fit person to keep an eye on you while you're pregnant.'

‘Wouldn't you?' It was music to her ears. 'But
I don't need anyone to keep an eye—'

‘Anyway, Demi's staying with Flynn and Grace.'

‘Oh. Then I'd better go to my parents. Or
there's the friend I was going to stay with before I went to stay with Grace,'
she added, more enthusiastically.

‘No. You'd better stay here. It's more
convenient for doctors' appointments and things, anyway.' He looked
away. 'Honestly, Ellie, I only realised today how
fragile
a pregnancy can be. You can't expect to just carry on as
normal.'

‘Can't I?' Ran was being incredibly bossy, but
Ellie
somehow didn't mind. She couldn't let
him have his own
way though.

‘No. You need someone to look after you.'

‘I'd better go to my parents, then,' said
Ellie, sad, but firm.

‘Why? I got the impression you didn't want to
do that.’

She didn't, but there didn't seem to be much
choice. 'I
know, but I ought to see them, and
it would only be for
a short time.’

Ran sat down on the end of the sofa and looked at Ellie.
'It would be
much more convenient for you to stay
here.'

‘
But I haven't got another doctor's appointment for
ages,' she said, slightly thrown. 'Besides—'

‘
You could have my bed. I'll sleep on the futon.’

For a moment Ellie was tempted - a week more
with
Ran - but then something pulled her
back down to earth.
Yes, it was a lovely thought, but it was playing
with fire. She already liked Ran far more than was good for her, when he
clearly had no intention of thinking of her as
anything more than
a friend
and in a week's time it would
only be
harder to leave him. She thought of the baby
inside
her: he or she needed a proper, grown-up mother,
not an emotional wreck of a woman hung up on someone
who'd never want her. She took a deep breath, and
decided
to be sensible.

‘No. Sorry, but you don't understand. I can't
stay with you, Ran.'

‘Why not?'

‘Because it's too hard for me.' She saw his
confusion and forced herself to continue. 'Being here with you. I
want something that you don't, and I thought I
could
hack it, but I can't. I think that scan made me grow up somehow,
made me see things a bit clearer. Thank you so much for everything, but I have
to go.’

Ran looked stunned. 'But I don't want you to
leave.’

‘You've been incredibly kind—'

‘I'm not being kind!' he said irritably. 'I
just don't want you to leave!’

Ellie stared at him, hoping for some indication
of what he really meant. Why didn't he want her to leave? And why didn't he
say? 'I don't understand,' she breathed eventually.

Ran exhaled deeply. 'Nor
did I, until you had the scan.’

‘
What?'
Ellie was more confused than ever.

‘I didn't realise, until that woman had to go
and get someone else, how much I cared that you were all right. Et was such a
shock, all of it, but the biggest shock was
that
I was terrified that something would happen to you.
Your panic was all
about the baby. But I was worrying about you. Ellie, I couldn't bear to lose
you.'

‘
There was
never any question about there being
anything wrong with me—'

‘I know, but it didn't feel like it at the
time. You were
coping so well, breathing,
keeping calm in a crisis—’

‘
I didn't
feel calm—'

‘You were being so adult. and it made me
realise
how
mature you are in some ways.' He gave a little rueful
smile.
'Quite old enough to be a mother.'

‘Just as well!'

‘So if you're old enough for that, I suppose
you're not
too young for me. Or at least,
you don't think so, do you?’

It took a few moments for
his words to sink in prop
erly. When they did, she got up from
the sofa and shook
off the rug. 'Certainly
not.' She put her arms round Ran's
neck and then, when she felt she had
hugged him long
enough, she kissed him. A
proper, adult, x-rated kiss he
could not possibly misunderstand.

‘
Are you
sure you really want me to stay?' Ellie asked
a few minutes later. 'I can easily go home to my parents.'

‘I'm quite sure,' he said
definitely and kissed her again
in a way that left no doubt that
he'd stopped thinking of her as a child.

‘
I expect
it's just because I can cook,' Ellie commented
later with a contented
little sigh.

‘
Oh no,' he
contradicted her. 'You're good, but not that
good.' And he kissed away
her indignant protest.

Ellie smiled, blissfully
happy. 'I'll tell you one thing,
this feels
right,' she said, snuggling up to him and pulling
his face
down so she could kiss him again.