Restraint (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (38 page)

“Is that her,” a deep voice asked
, breaking my daze. I look to the man. He looks so similar to the other man, not looks- demeanor. He is darker, but with the same eyes and build as the fair man.

“It’s
her,” a young man says with a husky voice. He is huge, built like a brick house. His bright blue eyes shine with innocence.

I’m con
fused. I never draw attention, yet all three are solely focused on me. I’m tempted to turn and look over my shoulder to see if someone is behind me, and they are talking of her.

As I walk closer to the trio
, I wait to hear what the first man voice sounds like. If I go by his laugh, it’s probably spectacular.

“What’s your name?” His voice is so smooth I want to bath in it. I shudder at the sound. My eyes flick back up to his, and I am captured.

“Katya Waters. I… I… I mean Kat. Everyone calls me Kat,” I stutter out. I’ve never really spoken with the opposite sex. They unnerve me. He doesn’t though. Something about him feels calming- familiar.

He speaks as I walk past, “Ezra, call me Ezra.”

I tried to be angry. It should have been the appropriate emotion to feel when you realize three people you come to trust were leading you to a horrific memory. But I wasn’t angry with any of them. I finally understood them.

We all do things we need to
do to survive. We all do strange things in the name of healing. We all live the only way we can to make our way through this life. Call me selfish or selfless. I understand their needs better than anyone- well, except for each other. I understand why I am a part of the group. Not because they chased me as prey, held me down while my life was in the balance, and then ultimately watched my rape or participated in it. It wasn’t because I saved them by taking one for the team while they ran, leaving me to be violently violated by the Monster. No, we share a bond on basic level- victims of the same monster. We share the experience, the guilt, the shame, the pain. We aren’t victims. We are survivors.

I return home to start at the ground level
, to finally move on, heal, and get a real life.

Whether team Hunter keeps in touch is up to the trio. It’s their game- it’s their move.

Epilogue

Ava and I enjoy an afternoon in the sun, chatting and singing. It feels so good to be home. They say home is where the heart is. My daughter is my heart. As long as she is with me
, I am home. Being with Ava is as easy as breathing.

“Are you excited for school to start in a few days? I can’t believe my baby is going to be in junior high,” I say with pride, but it’s mixed with sadness to see Ava growing into a beautiful poised young woman.
Her childlike playfulness is diminishing, and it saddens me.

“What’s he like?”
She scrunches her eyes in the bright sunlight. I finally told Ava who her father is. I assume that a man like Ezra will come after
that which is his.
I wanted her to be prepared.

“Ezra
is commanding. Not mean in any way. It’s more like a moth drawn to a flame. At least that’s how it is for me.” I laugh without humor, feeling that damned ache for the billionth time today. I made the right decision coming home. If I’d have stayed, I wouldn’t have respected my actions or myself, and that means they wouldn’t have either. The thought of Ezra not respecting me, makes me feel ill.

Ava
gives me the look, the one so similar to her father. She tilts her face to the side and squints- reading me. It’s unnerving. She’s scrutinizing me, seeing right through my act. She’s eleven years old in body, but an old soul.

I paint polka-
dots on her pinkie, completing her manicure. “Look good to ya, does it?” I pick on her. Ava’s like her momma in this regard. We aren’t very girly, but naked nails are a no-no.

I hear a sharp intake of breath a
nd my eyes dart up. I gaze wide-eyed with a gaping mouth at our visitor. I quickly snap my mouth shut and blink a few time to see if the ghostly man is an apparition.

“Welcome, Ezra.” I just stare. I never thought I’d see him walking on my patio.
This is a surreal moment, one I never thought would happen in a million years. Ezra’s eyes flick over me, and then settle on his daughter. 

“Hello, little one,” he
softly says, as if fearing he’ll spook her. But my daughter is also like her father. You do not spook Ava.

“You’re my father,” she drawls as s
he sizes him up, checking their similarities, seeing if he’s worthy.

“Yes,
I am,” I whispers, sounding awed. “You may call me Dad if you’d like.” He stares back at her, doing an inventory as well.

My daughter at eleven years old is already several inches taller than me. She has his fair hair and gray eyes. Her face is all me. Her personality is split righ
t down the middle between Ezra and me.

“Alright…
Dad,” Ava tests the word out on her tongue and deems it pleasing. “Dad.” She smiles at us both. “I know you’ve upset Momma and that’s why she’s back home. You need to fix it. I don’t want to live here forever. I wanted to try out city living. You screwed up my plans of going to a good school. My school doesn’t produce kids that go to Ivy League Universities. Fix it,” she demands as stands up.

“Oh, no doubt on your parentage,
now is there? I’m not sure if that was me or your mom coming out your mouth, right there. But I’ll let it slide- for now.” Ezra laughs to soften the threat.

“Normally
, Ava isn’t so rude. She’s been in a tizzy since I ruined her future.” I roll my eyes at Ava. “Go greet the rest of our guests. I guarantee Aaron and Cortez are waiting in the car.”

“Why’d you leave,” Ezra says as soon as Ava’s
out of earshot.

“I want to start fresh. No games played by us
, no repressed memories. I don’t want pity jobs or friends. I don’t want you housing me out of remorse. I just want to be me. I want to earn what I get by my mind, not your misguided guilt. I want to create my own future.”

“That isn’t accurate, Katya,” Ezra chastises
me.

“I’m not you
r daughter. I’m one of you. I want to stand shoulder-to-shoulder, not kneel at your feet like a pampered pet. I want to be respected,” I calmly and quietly says, trying to impart the truth the Ezra. I can’t live the life he had me living the past few months
. I would slowly die inside.

My daughter’s
excited giggles reach me before our guests do. I smile at both the guys. Of course Cortez is outrageously flirting with my minor child. I would anger over it, except that Cortez flirts like I breathe. Aaron’s baby blues flick towards Ava and his dimples appear.

“Hey guys,
” I call out, never standing from the picnic table.

“That’s no way to gre
et us, Kat.” Cortez makes a tsk-tsk noise. He kisses me fully on the mouth, much too long for platonic. My skin flashes red at the contact. Shit!

Ezra glares at Cortez, I assume for doing that in front of his daughter.

I give Aaron a light kiss on the cheek. “I’d prefer the kiss Cortez got,” he chuckles into my hair. “But that might confuse Ava.” He leans away from me. “It’s amazing to see your daughter. I’m speechless,” Aaron addresses Ezra and me. “Wow, anyone would who met her would immediately know who she belongs to, it’s uncanny.”

My daughter turns bright red from the attention
, looking uncomfortable. “Ava, go tell Ma that we will be having guests for dinner,” I say to ease her some. This is a lot to deal with all at once, and Ava is only a child.

“And
tell your grandmother that your mother and you will be going home with me in the morning,” Ezra tacks on. Ava squeals in delight and, to both our shocks, kisses her father on the cheek.

Ezra stands in
stunned silence until I say, “I believe you should have asked first. It’s not right getting Ava’s hopes up only to have me say no.”

“Are you saying no?
” Ezra raises a quizzical brow. “Because if you do, then I will tie you down and ship your ass back there.”

I ignore him.
“Who wants to go for a walk with me?”

Ezra immediately walks to my side
. When Aaron and Cort say they’re joining us, he says, “No, stay here.”

“Jeez, you’re full of y
ourself today. They aren’t dogs,” I groan.

“I want some alone time with you, Katya.” Ezra looks serious.

“Okay,” I drawl out. “But it will have to be later. This walk is important for the gang.”

I don’t bother to explain. I just start walking to the edge of the lawn and enter the woods. I don’t look over my shoulder to see if they follow. I can feel that they are. I just know som
ehow. When I hit the hiking trail, I chance a look at the trio. All are staring at me with expressions of horror.

“Don’t be such pussies. I
’d think Dr. Zeitler would approve.” I smirk at the man in question.

“Katya,
this isn’t a good idea for you,” Ez stiffly replies.

“It is. Don’t you see? This time I’m not running from you. We’ll run together, towards the
future, forgetting the past.” I don’t wait for an answer. I break into a jog. When I hit the spot on the trail where they first chased me, my heart starts beating into overdrive. I can almost feel the tension riding the air. My heartbeat reacts to theirs, all equalizing.

I follow the same path as before. The direction is burned into my memory. As I reach the point where I veered off the trail
, adrenaline floods my veins. I start panting as fear and excitement flow through me.

“This is a horrible idea on so many levels. It may help you heal, but it’s just amping up our needs.” Ezra’s speech is raspy.

Yeah, I could see that. I loved chasing Kayla around my office. I loved running from Cortez during our two minutes of fun. My eyes light on each one of them. They all seem excited- thrilled by the hunt. Eyes glazed from the high, breath sawing in and out, arousal bulged in their pants.

I see the spot where my attack occurred. I ha
ven’t been back since my rescue, and it feels anti-climactic, and for that I’m grateful. This was one of my favorite spots. I would walk along this path to think, to sort out my life. That one day ruined it all for me. I hadn’t been back, fearing the memories inundating me, bring the nightmares back. This place no longer holds power over me, not in peace or in fear. I hop in place, giggling, ecstatic that I’ve overcome this unsurmountable obstacle.

The guys surround me.
I look to their eyes as fear stabs through me. All three look feral: their eyes glazed, panting, and aroused, with barely leashed control.

“
Rein it in. You’re stronger than your needs. Show some restraint,” I warn.

I walk off,
acting as if they aren’t scaring the shit out of me. I know on a basic level that they won’t harm me. I know that if they attack, eventually I will enjoy it. But I’d rather have a say in the matter. Plus, I’m not sure how they would behave in a pack situation. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

I sit on the shore watching the water cloud my pearly toenails for a few moments before they join me.

“Sorry about that. I wish you would have told me what you were up to first.” Ezra settles beside me.

“You would have said no,” I say petulantly.

“So you did it anyway. Ah, Katya,” he sighs out.

“That’s how we have to do it or we would have to ask your permission for everything,” Cortez says from my other side. I smile conspiratorially at him. Yeah, he and I are too much
alike. Don’t ask for permission- ask for forgiveness. I burst out laughing.

“What,” Aaron says from beside Ezra.

“I have a motto for our little gang- Hunter’s pack. Don’t ask for permission- ask for forgiveness.” We all laugh.

I rest my head on Ezra’s shoulder and take Cortez’s hand in mine. I glance over to see Aaron and Ezra’s hands linked as well.

“I like that- Hunter’s pack,” Ezra whispers as we watch over the lake.

~UNLEASHED~
Chapter One

“Katya, I would like a moment to speak to you in private, please.” Ezra stands and looks around to all the people crowding my living room. We arrived this morning, because Ezra wouldn’t take no for an answer. Cort’s smooth flowing forked tongue, Aaron’s childlike innocence, and Ezra’s polite respect even managed to convince my mother it was for best that Ava and I went back to the city with them. Then the men sicced my mom on me. “Katya, you need to get a life, and you really loved your job and apartment. Take Ava, and give her a better life than the one you were given.”

Ava being Ezra’s daughter, she knew that once the guilt trip was activated, we were going.
If Momma ain’t happy
… is the saying, right? Apparently, no one gives a shit about my momma status, because I’m sure as shit not happy at the moment.