RETRACE (13 page)

In utter leisure, I flicker my eyes open to Reeves’ dim bedroom. He must have carried me to his bed last night. Once again, I am surprised to find out I have fallen asleep next to him, and even more staggered at just how easy my sleep was. It’s so calm and deep that I’m tempted to ask him to sleep by his side every night.

I pivot my head to rest my cheek on the pillow and watch him for a peaceful while. He is prone on his stomach, his toned arms hugging the pillow his face is planted on. His long lashes caress his fair skin. The sheet barely covering the hem of his boxer-briefs.

I send my hand to touch his warm skin, walking my fingers lightly on his wide back and sigh with mixed emotions. I’m not sure how to deal with… him. I thought that after we had sex, this attraction would ease down. But it’s not, definitely not, and I know so as I’m holding myself back from waking him up and begging for more.

Silently, I make my way out of the bed and close the door behind me. I rapidly shrug my clothes on, take the key to the apartment, and lockup before heading to get breakfast.

Reeves is still sleeping as I take out a plate and set the six doughnuts I bought on it. I wasn’t sure which kind he’d prefer so I just got everything I like. I place the tall cup of coffee I got him next to the plate, turning it so the note I’ve written on its side will face Reeves when he sees the little feast I left him. Inspired by what he has laid in store for today, I wrote:

Hang in there. I’m just a staircase away if you need me…

“Girls, please continue practicing the moves, I’m going to get something from the office, okay? Who wants to take my place?”

“Me, Miss Nia, me!” Almost all hands rise in unison. My eager little dancers send ten pairs of puppy eyes at me. I choose the ones lacking glee.

“Lily.” I smile at her and she shyly smiles back. I gesture for her to stand in my spot and face her friends.

At the office, I get the permission slips from Mrs. Perry. She calmly observes me, asks how I’m doing. We exchange a few words about the girls and the upcoming show we are working on before I return to my lesson.

“Yes, yes. And he is sooooo nice.” I come back to an attentive group of girls, listening to a gushing, elated Lily.

“Who is soooo Nice?” I smile at them, imitating Lily’s chirping tone as I take back my place. I mouth thank you to Lily, and take off from where I left with a one, two step dance.

“Your boyfriend.” A chorus of sweet voices replies.
Oh God
. I friendly frown at Lily and shake my head, facing the girls.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I say.

After a few minutes of honing their movements as they dance, I gesture for them to sit in a semi-circle to discuss the lesson. As I wait for them to get settled around me, snippets of everything Reeves filters through my thoughts. His sweaty, firm body above me as he gave me one of my wildest orgasms ever. The sliver of vulnerability in the undercurrent of his words as he told me about his friend, Ben. The next thought about how he might be feeling right now pulls at my emotions. I make a mental note to text him after class, check how he is doing.

When I greet the parents, saying goodbye to the girls, Alex swifts by. She whispers in my ear while still in motion, “Jake’s.” I nod confirm with a quiet smile and she winks in response.

“
I am
planning on giving
each
of the girls a little solo part.” Inwardly scowling, I answer to a mother who asks me to give
her
daughter
the
solo part.

“God, some of the parents can be so controlling,” I tell Alex who’s standing by my side as we wait for the bartender to fix our drinks.

“Tell me about it. Sometimes I’m not sure who is more eager, the girls or the parents.” We nod in agreement.

“Where’s Toni?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder to the table where our group is. It’s Alex’s usual gang, minus one roommate/lover.

“I think we are over,” Alex says too casually to my taste. My brows knit in return.

“You think?”

Alex shrugs. “I haven’t seen her for a couple of days, and she hasn’t answered my calls.”

“Um, aren’t you guys living together?”

“I don’t know, she just hasn’t been around…”

“Aren’t you worried?”

She just shrugs it off again. “Toni is kind of strange at times. She should be let be.”

The bartender sets two shot glasses, a finger of scotch, and a beer bottle in front of us.

“To crazyass lovers!” Alex declares before throwing back her shot glass. I snicker and mirror her.

“Katie!” The bartender, I think Dan, or Danny was his name, grins at someone behind me. Hearing the familiar name, curiosity kicks in and I turn around to the miniature beauty who I saw with Reeves the other night, when I was spying on their somewhat emotional exchange.

“How you doing?” He asks in a gentle voice. Her response is a flit of eyebrow motion, saying “so, so.” He extends a hand over the bar to squeeze her shoulder. She is utterly pretty, in a fragile kind of way. Also from up-close she looks like a human version of Tinkerbell. A group of friends joins her, a fusion of the debate team meets the cheerleading squad. Tinker would be a hybrid of both.

Only when she sends a stare my way, I realize I’ve been gaping. I timidly smile and she echoes me. For a brief moment my heart teeters at the thought of her probably visiting her brother today with Reeves. My next breath is stolen from me, when my own past mixes with the realization. I take a moment to collect myself before getting back to Alex who joined the usual group while I was caught in my musing.

Once it floated to surface, my past, I can’t seem to focus on anything else. I just nod at the people talking to me. I’m too absorbed in my thoughts to even try and pretend to be responsive. Memories of home keep suppressing even after I’ve cleared the glass with the strong liquor. As the freight train hurtling in my head gathers momentum, my own traumatic past begins to entwine with the thought of the emotional torment Reeves must have gone through today. I text him.

Hey neighbour-friend, how are you doing?

When I check my phone again, for the tenth time in the past half hour, it’s still void of a response. Half an hour more is all I can tolerate before I say goodbye and hurry home.

I worry my lips, unlocking the door. I fidget while making my way to the kitchen, contemplating on checking in on Reeves. I get a scotch bottle and hold it in my hands, then put it back in the cupboard. I go to the bedroom next and change into a delicate, almost see-through negligee. I observe myself in the mirror and just shake my head, quickly changing to loose, flowery pajama bottoms and a white tee. I slip into my shoes, grab my key, and climb the stairs to the floor above.

It takes Reeves a few good minutes to answer my persistent knocks. Wearing nothing but black boxers, he squints his liquid green eyes at the light coming from the corridor where I’m standing at his doorstep. Behind him, the vast space of the apartment is dark. It doesn’t seem like he’s been sleeping much though, in fact, he couldn’t appear more restless.

“Hi,” I say softly.

He answers with a silent questioning stare. A look that’s a combination of query, fatigue, and weariness. Tentatively, I take a step forward. As he takes one back to allow me inside, with a quicker heart, I take another. I turn to close the door behind me, shutting my eyes and taking a slow breath. I turn back to find Reeves’ hand in the quiet dimness. By the softest of moonlight coming from the balcony windows I find his stare and counter it with a gentle, reassuring one, leading him after me in silence. I leave my key at the counter as we pass by the kitchen on our way to the bedroom. I kick my shoes off, still holding Reeves’ hand and next, take him with me to bed.

Watching me through the sliver of moonlight with hard eyes, he follows suit. I softly kiss his lips before taking my place, resting my head on the pillow next to his. I watch his silhouette in the dark, placing my hand on his chest and just let him be. He moves his hand to cover mine and we both stay silent with our thoughts for an extent of time that feels as though a few hours have passed.

The sound of sheets crumpling as Reeves turns to face me breaks our prolonged silence. We watch each other intently for a breath as out of the blue he asks, “Why did you call me G.I. Joe the other day?”

Instinctively, my face heats up. I couldn’t be more grateful for the obscurity we lie in. I wouldn’t dream of letting the next words that leave my mouth in any other circumstances, but even for the mere possibility that what I’m about to tell him might cheer him up, I do.

I shift to lay on my back, cover my flaming face with my hands and blurt, “Because you look like the star of my military themed fantasy.” I couldn’t be more delighted at the chuckle that escapes his mouth. I pivot my head sideways and peek at him from between my spread fingers. He is grinning, genuinely grinning. I move my hands away and smile back at him, wholeheartedly. He just tugs me to him and cuddles me to his side. Soon after, he strokes my hair ever so gently and I fall asleep, content.

I lean with my hand propped on the kitchen cupboard, gulping down half of an O.J. gallon, thinking of last night. My lips lift up with Nia on my mind. I’m still floored by how with the simplest of gestures she managed to sooth every malady I’ve been carrying throughout the day. She was right beside me, for me, and apparently that was enough. That was what I needed in order to calm down and eventually even fall asleep.

Her knocks on my door found me sitting in the dark, wishing, like each time I visit Ben that it was me in his place. Ben was always the better part of our duo. Ben was the poster boy for Most Likely to Succeed, everyone’s favorite. He left a loving family, a beautiful, caring girlfriend that was about to become a fiancé, an arsenal of friends, and a promising career, when he died too young.

And what would I have left were I the one who got caught? A father that still mourns the day I was born? Nameless, faceless sex partners? A few friends?
His
family?

Before these malignant thoughts roll into a snowball of contempt and self-hatred, I close my eyes and bring myself back to last night. To how Nia knew just what to do to reach me. How I didn’t want to talk and just be. And she’d let me. Too bad she had already left before I even had a chance to see her pretty face this morning.

As I put the empty gallon to the counter and turn to start the day, I let out a healthy chuckle, having Nia’s image before my eyes as she covered her face, and told me I looked like her sexual fantasy. If that isn’t the hottest thing to hear from a woman, I’m not sure what is.

Checking the time, I realize I have a few hours to get ready before my flight to Cuba and decide it’s enough time to make someone’s fantasy come true. I take the quickest shower in history. Thankful I kept my uniform, I smirk all the way to my closet. Still wearing a shit eating grin, I study myself in the walkthrough closet mirror: ACU jacket, cargo pants, boots. It’s been awhile since I wore these… I even went all the way with a close shave.

Humming, I skip every other step to the level below. I knock and wait for Nia to open the door, having a very hard time subduing my smile.

Nia’s expression when she opens the door skyrockets my mood. She is the very picture of shocked excitement. Her chin literally drops while her eyes devour the sight of me.
Fuck yeah!

I scratch my temple with my thumb, squinting at her teasingly. “Hey. I’m the neighbor from upstairs, can I borrow some sex?”

Her lips stretch to the wildest smile, she grabs me by my jackets’ lapel, eagerly pulling me inside.

“Whoa…” I gladly cooperate. Our mouths mesh in no time through unified chuckles. She takes a step back to look at me again and shakes her head with a greedy smile before jumping me. I catch her, and she wraps her legs around my waist. Her mouth attacks mine and her needy grazing against me causes me to almost lose balance. I stride with her dry humping me to the nearest wall.

“Get down to business,” she orders, biting my lips. I think my dick just turned into rock.

“Fond of the uniform, are we?” I pin her to the wall, pressing against her, my mouth biting at her jaw. With one hand supporting us, I send my other to squeeze her full tits.

She lightly snickers and says, “Oh, shut up and get busy.” And raids my mouth.

I gently put her down, kiss her, and spin her to face the wall. One of my hands reaches her breast under her shirt, while the other cups her, tightly. She moans, and leans her forehead to the wall. I send both hands to pull her pants and underwear down. I grab her ass with both hands and graze it against the swell in my pants. I then help her get her shirt off, and lean to trail my tongue slowly from between the two dimples decorating her lower back to her neck. I spread her thighs with my own and cover her bare warmness with my hand, grazing it in slow pressure. She moans again and pushes back into my hand. I slide a finger inside her tight heat. Fuck, she is soaked.

I undo my zipper next and free myself. I grab her by her thighs and prop her ass just where I need it. Nia’s hands slide on the wall as she positions herself closer to me. Hastily, I roll on a condom. I hold her tight with one hand and position myself, ready for her. I tease her briefly, till she huskily orders me to fuck her. My blood runs in flames through my veins at her command and I sink into her.
Chrissssst
.

“Hold on to the wall,” I rasp as I increase my thrusts to a forceful pace. Nia’s pants and screams are all over the place and all over my head. It’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Still holding her with one hand, I bring my other to her mouth, and slide three finger inside.

“Suck them,” I say next to her ear in a husky voice, still steadily thrusting in and out of her. Obediently, she sucks my fingers wet. I lean to press my body into her and change my pace to enter her slower and deeper. My damp fingers end on her clit and I start rubbing in rhythm to my shoves. Nia’s moans become needy and stretched. I bring my mouth to her shoulder and kiss, bite the silky skin, driving wildly in her.