Return of the Rogue (18 page)

Unexpectedly, tears filled her eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks when Cavan lifted his head, brushed his cheek to hers, and looked at her, startled.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

He would have jumped off her if she hadn’t stilled him with a tight squeeze. “No, don’t go, and no, you didn’t hurt me.”

“Then why the tears?” he demanded gently, kissing them away.

She smiled. “I’ve never felt anything so beautiful. I’ve never felt so whole.”

He tried to respond, but she pressed her finger to his lips. “I know you have probably made love many times, but this is my first, and I am glad it was with you—my husband.”

He moved his lips off her finger. “I have had
sex
many times. Tonight I made love for the first time, and I’m glad it was with my wife.”

“Truly? You do not jest with me?”

He wiped away the last of her tears. “Know that I speak the truth when I tell you that before tonight I have never known such satisfying pleasure with a woman.”

She placed a gentle hand to his cheek and smiled. “You can please me anytime you like.”

He laughed softly. “Be careful what you offer. You may find yourself forever in this bed.”

She looked startled. “You mean we can only make love in bed?”

He laughed again. “I should be the one warned of you.”

She slipped her arms around his neck. “Then be forewarned, husband, for I fear I have an insatiable appetite for you.”

T
he sun would rise shortly, but Cavan had woken almost an hour ago. He cuddled around his wife, who slept on her side, her back embedded against him. She was naked and had insisted on remaining so. She had expressed her pleasure in feeling his naked flesh against hers and how wonderful it would be throughout the night to feel him there, skin to skin, next to each other.

Naturally, she had excited him, and they made love again. She was certainly not the frightened little mouse he once thought her to be, but then he realized mice could be cunning little creatures, scurrying and forging until they found what they wanted and then contentedly nesting.

Honora showed no signs of being fearful or meek when it came to making love. On the contrary, she appeared to enjoy every moment and it was obvious she wanted to learn more. When she wasn’t sure, she asked him, and damn if her honest curiosity didn’t enflame him even more.

He thought he’d climax instantly when she asked
him, while holding his engorged member in her hand, if it was acceptable for her to taste him intimately, as he had her.

Needless to say, he confirmed with a hasty nod that it was, and damn if she hadn’t taken sincere, lengthy pleasure in doing it, as he had with her. He grinned, remembering. Honora was more than he ever hoped for in a wife. and he felt lucky and also guilty.

She had expressed her love for him, which touched his heart and warmed his soul. He had no idea how she could have fallen in love with him since he hadn’t been even pleasant since his return home, but she had nonetheless.

He should be grateful, but instead guilt haunted him. Not that he wasn’t certain he loved his wife. Somehow, somewhere along the way, he had lost his heart to her. He had no idea when it happened; he couldn’t pinpoint it, and it didn’t matter. What mattered was that he had finally realized how he felt about her. And yet…

He couldn’t bring himself to tell her. No matter how many times last night she had uttered her love for him, he couldn’t respond in kind. He couldn’t allow himself or her that joy, release, or pleasure. He had no right to be happy.

His failure to see his brother safe forever haunted him, as did information he had learned while held captive, and while he wished to share it with someone, he couldn’t. He didn’t know whom to trust.

Cavan glanced down at his sleeping wife. How he would love to tell her, but then the information might also place her in jeopardy. He was certain that it would prove a link to whoever held his brother, and could possibly be the key to Ronan’s safe return. But so far he’d had no success in discovering the link.

Sooner or later he would have to trust someone. He had intended to do that upon his return, but the more he thought about the situation on his journey home, the more he realized it would be better to keep the news to himself and allow the truth to be revealed in its own time.

Honora stirred beside him, rubbing her backside against him and sighing softly. Her eyes remained closed, and he smiled. Even in sleep passion nibbled at her. He ran a gentle hand over her breasts, teasing her nipples to life and stirring her desire even further.

When her sigh turned to a moan, he ran his hand down over her stomach and between her legs, to enter her gently and pleasure her even more.

Her eyes drifted open and he nibbled at her neck, probed her deeper and whispered, “I want you.” He knew it should have been
I love you,
but not yet, not yet.

“Then take me,” she said with a long stretch as she turned, arching her back.

His mouth assaulted one of her nipples and she cried out with pleasure.

Cavan didn’t wait; he didn’t want to. He wanted
her right then, and he took her fast and hard. And she responded in kind, as if they had been lovers long denied and this was their first coming together after a lengthy separation. Their need was all that mattered, nothing else, and, insatiable as it was, they fed it.

The bed shook from their fierce joining, and their climaxes were explosive, both of them crying out in pure, unbridled pleasure. Afterward, neither could speak. Cavan rolled off Honora, to collapse beside her. He locked hands with her, and there they lay recovering, their bodies damp, their breathing heavy, their hearts beating wildly.

They lay quietly for several minutes, their fingers wrapped strong around each other’s.

Finally, Honora turned on her side to face him. “Do I demand too much of you?” she asked.

Cavan laughed heartily and turned to kiss the tip of her nose. “Demand all you want.”

Honora grinned. “Good, for I truly enjoy coupling with you.”

“We’ll couple as much as you want,” he assured her, thinking how lucky he was to have her for a wife.

“And not only in bed,” she reminded.

“Wherever you like.”

“Or whenever the mood strikes,” she said.

“Be moody all you want,” he said, trying hard to sound more agreeable than gleeful.

They heard a little whimper then, and a moment later Champion appeared by the side of the bed, his tail wagging.

Honora bounced up. “I forgot he was here with us. He must need to go outside and he’s probably hungry. I’m starving myself.” She threw the covers back, but before jumping out of bed turned and kissed her husband soundly on the lips.

Cavan cushioned his head with his arms and watched her race around the room naked, gathering her clothes and searching for fresh ones to wear. She was a sight to behold and he savored the view, from her firm buttocks to her generous hips and narrow waist, and Lord did he favor her full breasts. He could still taste her on his lips.

Before she could slip into her clothes, he sprinted out of bed, grabbed her around the waist and hugged her close. “The day is ours to do as we wish.”

She giggled, rubbed her body temptingly against his, and in a singsong voice warned, “Be careful what you wish for.”

He nuzzled at her neck. “I’ll be very careful, but I have a distinct feeling that all my wishes will come true today.”

Champion whimpered louder, and Honora pulled away from him. “He really needs to go outside,” she said and hurriedly dressed, slipping on a brown skirt and blue blouse. Then, with boots in hand, she rushed out the door.

Cavan intended to make certain that Champion didn’t spend another night in their room. He didn’t rush to join his wife, knowing she would be busy fussing over the pup, and besides, he could use time alone, time to think.

He was dressing in his plaid and his tan shirt when a thought hit him.

Hadn’t he spent enough time alone? Hadn’t he longed to return to family and friends? Hadn’t he ached for his isolation and torment to end?

He enjoyed his wife’s company, had enjoyed it even before they became intimate. Of late he also realized how much he enjoyed his brothers’ company and how much he’d missed talking with his father. His father was a wise man and leader and had taught him much and could teach him much more.

He realized that for the first time since his return, he felt deeply grateful to be home.

He hurried to join his wife and family for the morning meal, feeling as if it truly would be his first meal since he returned.

Laughter continued to surface at the breakfast table, the Sinclare men telling Honora of a childhood beset by an older brother who tried to lead before his time, and Cavan defending himself by citing their youthful foolishness, which he said forced him to protect them at every turn.

The conversation turned serious when Addie addressed their hasty departure the day before.

“The false news yielded disappointment,” she said, “but one day you will ride out and return with Ronan and our family will be whole once again.”

The three sons nodded, and her husband confirmed her assessment. “Ronan will return home, I
promise you that, Addie,” Tavish said with determination. “Ronan will come home.”

“With the stories you have told me, how could he not?” Honora said innocently.

“What do you mean?” Artair asked.

Honora smiled. “Ronan manipulated all of you and—”

The three brothers didn’t let her finish; they voiced their disagreement loudly.

“Ronan wouldn’t know how,” Lachlan said.

“He never paid attention,” Artair added.

“He forever needed help,” Cavan finished.

Honora laughed. “Can’t you see that he did that all on purpose?”

The three brothers shook their heads and mumbled denials.

She looked to Addie and Tavish for help. “You know your sons. You must have seen how Ronan controlled the three of them.”

The three brothers stared at their parents sitting side by side, their hands clasped.

“Ronan could connive,” Tavish admitted.

Addie nodded. “Ronan had his way of getting around people and getting what he wanted.”

“The hell he did,” Lachlan protested.

“Think about it, son,” Tavish said. “Remember that mare that my stallion birthed and how it was intended for you?”

Lachlan nodded. “Yes, but she was not what I wanted so I let Ronan have her.”

Tavish laughed. “Ronan talked you out of wanting her.”

“He did not—” Lachlan stopped abruptly. “Damn it, he did.” He pointed to Artair. “He talked you out of that sword you had specially made—”

“He did not,” Artair objected.

Lachlan nodded firmly. “He did, claimed it was too light for a man of your strength.”

Artair glared at his brother. “Damn, you’re right. He convinced me that it didn’t suit me at all. What of you, Cavan? What did Ronan get from you?”

“Nothing,” Honora said. “Ronan respected his position as leader and knew that as such it wouldn’t be wise to play tricks on him.”

“You’re very perceptive, Honora,” Tavish said.

“It is easy to see when you look from the outside in,” she said.

Tavish reached out, placed his hand over hers on the table and smiled. “You’re on the inside now, so be careful.”

“I have no worries,” she admittedly freely. “I trust you all.”

Cavan couldn’t get over how freely she admitted her trust for them. She spoke confidently without an ounce of doubt, and he envied her.

Conversation turned light again, and then it was time to tend to daily chores and matters and she and Cavan left the hall. They walked toward the stable, a yapping Champion trailing along behind.

Cavan took her hand, needing to ask her a question that disturbed him. “You left something out
about Ronan and me. Something else you observed from the tales my brothers and I told.”

“Did I?” she asked with an innocence he doubted.

He stopped and glared at her, his stern expression making it clear that they would not move until she answered him.

“You know me too well,” she protested half-heartedly.

“You would do well to remember that,” he said, and kissed her quick. “Tell me.”

“I feared it would upset you.”

“That makes little difference. I want to know that you will always be honest with me, that you will never fear confiding anything in me. I will always be there to help you, and I will never betray you.”

She smiled softly. “Trust. You’re asking for my trust, which I have already given you. That is what your brother knew. That he could always count on you, trust that you would never betray him.”

“How do you know that?”

“From the story you told about how you and Ronan had accidentally fallen in the loch while catching fish. That wasn’t how it happened. I would say it was you who had caught all the fish and Ronan was angry that he’d caught none, and you offered to split the catch with him, which angered him even more. He shoved you or scuffled with you and probably stumbled and fell in the loch and you jumped in after him.”

“What makes you believe that?”

“Because you admitted to me that you always protected Ronan, and besides, he was so young. What? Barely six?”

“Two days from his sixth birthday,” Cavan said.

“And Artair mentioned you’re seven years older than Ronan, which would have made you thirteen at the time.” She shook her head. “The story you concocted makes no sense.”

“That is what my father said.”

She laughed. “But not your brothers.”

“And I suppose you know why?”

She grinned. “They were pleased to see the mighty leader not only take a foolish fall, but not catch a single fish. You let Ronan take the credit because he was probably upset and regretted his actions with a plethora of tears. While in truth that day you proved to your little brother that he could forever trust you.”

Cavan nodded, released her hand and walked away.

She quickly followed, reclaiming his hand. “You did not fail your brother.”

He wished he could believe that, but he couldn’t, and no one understood that, nor did he think they ever would.

“We’ll go riding on the moors today,” he told her.

“Cavan,” she said with a tug to his hand.

He stopped. “No more about Ronan. It is done.”

She looked ready to disagree.

“Not another word, Honora,” he said sternly.

She sighed and looked away. “I have little experience riding.”

“You did well last night,” he teased.

She turned with a smile and puffed out her chest. “I certainly did, but then you’re an easy one to tame.” She laughed and ran off toward the stable.

He chased after her, grinning.