Revealing Her SEAL (ASSIGNMENT: Caribbean Nights Book 4) (21 page)

Ouch. Evan stayed out of that one though it was hardly true. Miles did fine in the female department. Always had.

“I get muffins,” Miles protested. “All the time. More muffins than your sorry ass.”

“Guys.” Pulling on his authority like a jacket, Charlie cut through the babble easily with only that single word. “I called the meeting to talk about ReefCo, not muffins. Though if this is a contest, trust me when I say that Dex is winning. By a long shot.”

The man in question shot them all a smug grin and folded his arms over his chest. “That’s right. You heard the man.”

Charlie held up a hand. “No more muffin talk. We have to start thinking about how we’re going to handle it if we can’t take snorkeling excursions to the reef off Ilhota Rosa anymore.”

“What happened with the counter-injunction?” Miles asked. “Seems like last time we talked, Rachel was still waiting to hear if Anderson’s dolphin expert had filed a report with the Wildlife Foundation.”

“Speaking of which…”

Rachel’s voice sliced through Evan’s stomach and he whipped his head toward the door. There she was, wearing the blue sundress he’d last seen crumpled on the sand at Ilhota Rosa as he pleasured her with his tongue.

The tension in the room ratcheted up as Charlie cleared his throat. “Thanks for coming. I wasn’t sure you were going to.”

His gaze cut back and forth between Rachel and Evan, leaving no doubt their leader had figured out on his own that something had happened between them. But this was business, and there was no room for the heaviness in Evan’s chest that crushed down on him anew as Rachel walked by smelling of coconut and redemption that he couldn’t accept.

Jace jumped to his feet and offered Rachel his seat, which she slid into with a grateful smile. That hurt too, how easily she could smile at another man, even one as goofy as Jace. But of course she had every right to do whatever she wanted, even if it was a striptease for the entire team followed by an orgy.

None of his business. They weren’t a couple anymore. If they ever had been. They’d skated around that label so carefully. Like they skated around everything until that last discussion when he’d finally shut the door he never should have opened. It had been the right thing to do.

Didn’t stop his fist from clenching as the image of Rachel with another man pounded through his head. She deserved to be happy. But he’d prefer it if she went somewhere else to be happy so he didn’t have to witness it.

“So,” she began. “We’re not any further along than we were. The dolphin expert, Dr. Reed, is scheduled to file a report in less than a week, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to say exactly what Anderson told me it would. The area isn’t a wildlife sanctuary. Therefore, our injunction is useless. The sale will go through.”

She glanced at Evan, her expression apologetic, but he shrugged. Losing Ilhota Rosa wasn’t but a small blip, completely dwarfed by the way his heart hurt simply to look at her. God, when had that happened? The island had long been his haven, and while he’d accepted that Rachel had become an addiction, he’d totally missed that she’d also replaced Ilhota Rosa as his refuge. How was he supposed to function without her?

“We can still hire our own dolphin expert,” Charlie said, his tone as bleak as the expressions on all the other guys’ faces. “And I intend to. But Anderson’s bid for Ilhota Rosa is personal. He’s after Aqueous Adventures, not the island.”

“Yeah.” The scowl on Dex’s face could have stripped paint from the wall. “He started hating us all of a sudden. Wish I knew why.”

A shadow passed over Charlie’s face, and Evan had seen those ghosts in his own mirror often enough to recognize them. “Charlie knows why.”

Everyone swung around to stare at Evan. He shrugged and nodded at their leader who had enough control to keep the surprise off his face over the fact that Evan had actually spoken.

“It’s complicated.” Charlie cleared his throat. “And there’s a woman.”

“Always is.” Miles shook his head, a noise of disgust rumbling in his throat. “Did you sleep with his wife or something?”

Charlie shot him a withering glare designed to shut him up. “Adultery is not my style, but thanks for the vote of confidence. The woman isn’t the point.”

“What is the point?” Evan asked and ignored the jackasses who were gaping at him.

Rachel’s gaze burned into him, but he didn’t look at her either, even as she cleared her throat and leaned forward, elbows on the worn wood of Charlie’s dining room table.

“We have to hit back,” she interjected, though she had to know Evan had been speaking to Charlie. “If it’s personal, then let’s make it personal.”

“How do we do that?” Jace scrubbed at his too-pretty face on which he’d lately been trying different facial hairstyles. The soul patch he currently wore was a far sight better than the Van Dyke of last week.

“We hit him where it hurts the most,” Rachel said, and immediately he saw where she was going as if he could read her thoughts as well as she did his.

“In the bank account,” Evan finished for her, and she caught his gaze. That ever-present spark between them flared to life, and he couldn’t look away. “We have to quit ReefCo.”

He should look away, but then she nodded, pride glowing in her eyes, and his chest filled so fast that he went lightheaded from lack of blood. Of course, because all of it was in his heart. Which squeezed painfully the longer he didn’t stop staring at Rachel’s beautiful face.

Everyone else flipped. All talking at once, they tromped on each other’s sentences until Charlie had to raise his voice to be heard.

“Evan. Talk to me about this plan.” That got everyone’s attention, and the room went so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

Six expectant faces zeroed in on him, and he shifted uncomfortably. What, like he had a reputation for stellar public speaking skills? He should have kept his mouth shut if for no other reason than out of respect for Charlie because ReefCo paid their bills. But Rachel’s small smile wormed its way into his soul, and he latched on it, letting it strengthen him.

“We quit, and he can’t fulfill his contract with the Wildlife Foundation.” He spoke slowly, gathering his thoughts as they came to him, encouraged by the fact that Charlie had asked. “It would be hard to find enough certified scuba divers to cover it, at least not quickly. And not just any guy off the street can handle the delicacy required for reef restoration. The training alone takes weeks. The press would be very negative, perhaps biting into his bottom line in other ways.”

The guys processed that.

“I like it.” Charlie nodded. “Except Aqueous isn’t running such great numbers that we can afford to lose that income. What can we do instead?”

Build things
. Something unfurled inside him as he absorbed the possibilities that might be open to him if he wasn’t doing reef restoration. What if he could get a job doing construction work? His eyes shut as he imagined being in the thick of Brayden Lucas’s renovation at the sugar plantation. His friend would be on board if Evan came looking for a job, no questions asked.

“Don is looking for seasonal help at the dive shop in Harbour Town,” Dex supplied instantly, and his support went a long way toward getting the other guys to start nodding along. “Emma’s been scouring the job sites lately and mentioned it.”

“Stella might be convinced to take on a couple of new bartenders. The Crow Bar is hopping most nights and p.m. work would be a good fit with our daytime bookings,” Miles mused. “The eye-candy there does not suck.”

They hashed it out for a while longer, throwing out ideas and brainstorming as a team like they’d done when they first landed in the Caribbean. A few of the suggestions bordered on outlandish, though Evan was pretty sure Jack hadn’t been kidding when he suggested Jace should become a male escort.

By noon they had a solid plan. Rachel had excused herself midway through, and Evan pretended he didn’t keenly miss her presence the moment her essence faded from the room.

Dex, Jack, Miles, and Jace drifted off to find lunch, leaving Evan and Charlie sitting at the table by themselves. Charlie lived there, so he had an excuse. Evan just didn’t have anywhere else to be. Instead of chasing him off, Charlie sat back in his chair and cracked his knuckles, undisguised glee curving up his mouth.

“That was a good call,” Charlie said. “About quitting. I wish we had a better option, but I hate working for Anderson in the first place. This business with Audra—”

Charlie cut himself off with a curse. Audra must be the aforementioned woman that had prompted Anderson’s personal attack, not that it was any of Evan’s business. He nodded and left it at that.

“You wanna talk about what’s going on with Rachel?”

Evan glanced up. Apparently they were not of the same mind that you didn’t flap your gums about girl problems. But then Charlie’s ice-blue eyes warmed as they crinkled up with sympathy.

“It’s okay if you don’t. I don’t want to talk about Audra. Pardon me,
Dr. Reed
.” Charlie shrugged it off. “But she’s old news. Rachel’s a current event.”

“There’s no event,” Evan muttered and sank down in his chair.

The day he started lying to the man who’d saved his life in more ways than one, more times than could be reasonably counted—that was the day Evan needed to admit he had a problem.

Hi, my name is Evan and I haven’t had Rachel’s skin against mine in twenty-four hours.
Yeah. He needed a Rachel-addiction support group all right. He wouldn’t find a better one than the man across the table.

Charlie waited him out. They’d been friends a long time, teammates even longer than that. As a platoon commander, Charlie had been in the position of handing out orders, but he’d never abused his authority nor acted as if he was better than his men by virtue of being the boss. Evan appreciated a leader who could make subordinates feel like equals. Otherwise, he’d never have opened the door that day Charlie had shown up unannounced at the empty house Evan no longer shared with Carrie and Jordan.

God, he’d been so hammered. And so good at covering it he’d swung the door wide without reservation, already anticipating a reunion with his buddy from the teams, maybe over another brew that he’d pretend was his third or fourth of the day, at least as far as Charlie was concerned.

“Do you remember what you said to me when you asked me to come to the Bahamas with you?” Evan asked quietly.

I need men I can trust
. The fact that Charlie put Evan into that category had meant everything. All the lies he’d told, all the covering up of his addiction—Charlie knew Evan had a problem. And had single-handedly instilled a desire to solve it with that one statement. Evan had never lifted a bottle to his mouth once since.

“Like it was yesterday.”

“It was four hundred and one days ago.”

“Yeah?” Charlie looked impressed, despite the fact that he surely knew the exact number as well as Evan did since he’d been there. “That’s a lot of days to stay sober.”

So
many. Each day felt harder than the last. Especially lately. “It’s selfish to willingly invite a woman into the middle of that struggle.”

A statement. Not a question, and Charlie didn’t take it as such.

“Absolutely. You don’t want her around twenty-four seven as you fight that demon, watching you like a clock even though she knows you’re not going to take a drink again because to do so would negate all the progress you’ve made so far. And to give a woman a front-row seat to witness how tough you are? Madness. She might start thinking you’re solid and dependable after seeing you do something so difficult, day in and day out. Might start getting a bit free with her affections. Who wants that?”

Evan’s head grew too heavy to keep upright, and he let it fall down into his open palms. “You act like I’m some kind of hero because I stopped killing myself one drink at a time. I’m not that guy. I’m the guy who couldn’t take a little pain. Or take my wife walking out the door. I solve my problems by sticking something in my mouth. Used to be a bottle. Now it’s Rachel. I need to find a way to deal with life solo.”

“Why?”

The simple question bled through him. “Because she makes me weak.”

“That’s crap, man.” Charlie thunked the table, and the sound reverberated through Evan’s elbows. He lifted his face to glare at Charlie, who waved it off. “You must have missed the part of the meeting where you and Rachel came up with the solution we’ve been looking for. Together.
Out loud
. She makes you better.”

Yes
. That was exactly what she did. Made him feel as if he was his best version of himself. And the way he felt about her… God, he wanted to be with her every second of every day. What was that but a sign of a serious problem? He’d never felt that way about Carrie.

“She’s in love with me. When she said it, I panicked. How can I give her what she needs when I’m so focused on not messing up? Instead of telling her what she wanted to hear, I ended it.”

“I think you just proved my point,” Charlie said as gently as a SEAL with a reputation for staring down a roomful of ISIS generals without blinking could. “Any man who can walk away from a woman he loves because he doesn’t want to hurt her isn’t weak.”

If anyone other than Charlie had pointed that out, he wouldn’t have listened. Couldn’t have. But this was the man who’d led the team through hell and back, often putting himself at great personal risk for the good of his men. Evan would be a fool to ignore anything his former commander said.

Which meant he had to accept that he was stronger than he’d pretended and maybe he’d pushed Rachel away because he was scared of screwing up.

The tiniest bit of hope filtered through his bruised heart.

But how was it fair for Evan to go after something that made him happy? He deserved to live in purgatory, forever unfulfilled because of his choices. Especially the one where he’d walked away from Rachel. She shouldn’t forgive him. He’d made sure to hurt her so she wouldn’t.

If he had any decency, he’d stay away from her. Let her go on with her life until she forgot about him.